Disclaimer: I don't own naruto – only my original characters, so don't sue me for my actions.

This fic is from AU – modern setting

This story is dedicated to Naomi my best friend who listens to my boring story drabbles everytime and gives me inspiration for whatever I do.

I hate this rain! Gaara mumbled under his breath. It was hard enough caring for his over-depressed mother, let alone a library of books in his arms while balancing an umbrella as he walked down the rain-pattered streets of Konoha. The soles of his shoes were worn, as the rain seeped through his shoes, drenching his socks. Worse, he had a hole in his backpack, which he didn't know about and would later have a rather difficult explanation with the teacher regarding soggy papers.

The umbrella was barely any help for reasons he did not know, as buckets of rain poured on to the lenses of his bulky, thick, and large glasses blurring his vision, and soaking his fire red hair. All of sudden he felt himself touch something relative to warm. He was clueless of what or who it might be as his glasses were already covered with rain and unable to magnify for his horrible astigmatism.

He heard a little high squeak from the user, proving the person to be female.

He wiped his glasses with his blue parka to see who it was and thanked kami it wasn't another bully. At school he was always made fun of for his large thick glasses, the billions of books he read when he had nothing to do (and he never had anything too important to do), collection of pens in his shirt pocket a/n: I know I'm labeling people, but really don't we all? This is the stereotypical nerd alright people? anti-social-ness and financial situation. He was basically this huge nerd who was made fun of by everybody and had a lot of family problems. Now, he was a senior in high school with just a few weeks left before graduation and still hadn't grown out the old sweater.

He peaked out from his glasses hoping it was no one he knew and gladly it wasn't. A girl about his age with long dark navy hair and pale white eyes tinted with purple looked up at him without the glaring manner that eyes usually did. She bowed, "Sumimasen, I was not looking where I was walking." A slight pink spread over the perfect apples of her cheeks as she smiled a little.

"You should walk around with a more durable umbrella. I think I might have an extra umbrella in my bag," She stuttered shyly, rummaging in her white bag until she retrieved a shiny new ebony umbrella with no broken pieces and handed it to him smiling. "Keep it."

Gaara accepted it, though before he could slip a word of 'arigatou', she had fled to a clique of girls as pretty as herself. She's definitely popular. Even if she didn't know me, she has likely estimated my rank already, Gaara thought sadly. When finally he thought he might have a chance to make a friend… He sighed and continued to trudge through the streets heading toward the cheap apartment near a demolished 7-eleven, hoping his mom wasn't having a hangover from her drunkenness. Again.

Though, a question kept running through his mind: Who was that paled-eyed girl?

a/n: This is Hinata's first appearance in the story, but she might not show up for another chapter or so because of the way I'm plotting the story, so gaahina fans (if there are any) might have to wait a little longer. This is not a rushed story, but I promised to keep you interested. This arc of the story is really important anways!

Gaara pushed open the apartment's battered wooden door and closed it behind him. The place wasn't much. A kitchen, living/bed room, and a small bathroom. What else could they afford? By the time he had gotten home, his clothes were so wet it looked like he could have drowned in them, and his droopy turquoise eyes were tired and red. He spotted his mother sitting on the green corduroy couch. Puffy eyes met tired ones. He could tell she had been crying.

"A letter from your father was received today in the mail." Her voice was dry and soar, as if she had not been eating or drinking for days.

Gaara stopped in his tracks and dumped his armloads on to the kitchen table. His father? The man he never met and only heard about his Okaa-san drabble about? Why? He wondered, but he said nothing and kept his natural poker face. This was the quiet un-talkative Gaara after all. The only place his mind seemed to open up a little was when his nose was dug in a novel.

"You know why he wrote?"

This time he answered, "I do not know."

She paused and changed the subject thinking it was better to go from there, "Gaara are you planning to go to college?"

Gaara's eyes widened at her question. "No. I didn't receive a scholarship. Plus, leaving would do no good to you Okaa-san."

She frowned at him suspiciously before glaring, "Why are you always like this? You're lying again!"

Gaara tried best not to seem apprehensive, but gave no answer. He simply didn't know what to say or think anymore.

"You don't have to answer anymore. I know everything anyways," she sighed. Anger began to diffuse in her voice, "Gaara, I'm not stupid you know! You think I don't know how much you actually want to start college and that letter you received for a full scholarship at the University of Tokyo!

"I know everything! I know how shitty people treat you at school! I know how you feel when you have to come everyday seeing your mother's crummy face! You don't have to hide everything to keep me content!" She was hitting it hard all right. It was true he had earned a scholarship, which he had hid from his mom the whole time, but he couldn't bear to go off to college without his mother. He just couldn't leave her behind with no one to take care of. She was a fragile piece of china that he didn't want to break.

"It's not like that at all, mom!" Gaara surprised himself with his sudden outburst.

"Could you for once in your life be honest with me!" His mother retorted as she clenched her first until it paled, "I'm your mother!" She tried hard to keep her voice together and her eyes dry, "I feel so horrible and selfish! I'm your mother and I can't do anything to make your life happier or easier for you! All I can see is the frown on your face every time you come home and see that you have to take care of me when I've drunk too much liquor! You think I'm at ease that way?"

"Mom…"

"SHUTUP! Listen to what I have to say! The letter I got from your father today… He wants you to move to Tokyo after you graduate and live with him and your two siblings instead of here in Konoha. It would also be a good opportunity for you to go to University of Tokyo since it's close."

Gaara hesitated and then shook his head, "No. I don't want to. I can't leave you behind okaa-san."

"Will you stop adding me to the fucking story! You're going! I can't stand to see my own son suffer so much because his mother is stupid!" She shouted with a teary eye. Could her Gaara just stop caring for her?

"You're not stupid mother." He didn't want to leave, and he felt hurt that his mother wanted to send him away. There was a slight pulse, almost unnoticeable, of sadness in the way he spoke. Even if it didn't show, his heart was in pain.

"Yes I am!" she thrust a paper toward him, "I want what is best for my son after all these years of being a selfish mother who can't take care of her own kid! As long as we both agree and sign at the bottom of this page you're free to go!"

"I would go if you did. But, you aren't so I'm not either. I don't want to move in with strangers I've never met."

A tear rolled from her blues eyes and down her cheeks, "I feel so stupid! Because of me, you haven't even been able to see the rest of your own family! They're your flesh –sniff- and blood, but you haven't even been able to see them for even once in your life! This is all my fault!" She broke in to a sob.

Gaara hated to see his mom cry. It made him feel so awful. "I didn't mean it that way mom! You shouldn't feel so horrible about yourself."

She blew her nose on a Kleenex napkin, "Yes I should! You don't know the story behind it! –sniff- This was all my fault! When you were born you could have lived a better life to start with but your selfish mom made the wrong –sniff- choice and that's why you're how you are today. You could have gotten better!"

Gaara's thin faint eyebrows a/n: it's unrealistic to talk about a person with no eyebrows in real life without it being weird, so I just made them thin and faint! furrowed down with concern for his okaa-san. He didn't want to talk about it and even less did he want her to be crying anymore, "Mom, you should rest now. Lets end this here for today."

"STOP INTERRUPTING ME!" She screamed, "If you really care about your mother –sniff-, than you should shut up and listen!

"At the time I met your father, I had been a waitress at a bar. He had came in to the shop as a young man and we found a lot in common, so we hooked up right after. We found we liked each other and even though I was only 18 and he was 27, we decided to go out. I found out he was a young businessman making a lot of money; so I thought he wouldn't like me if he found out I was a girl with a bad family history. I told him I was the daughter of a rich CEO of a large company, but he had died and my mother was divorced so I didn't know where she was.

"He took it pretty well and about a year later he asked to marry me which I happily agreed to. I got pregnant with your sister, Temari, after being married a few months, then your brother Kankurou two years later, and then you another year later. But, soon after you were born, your father found about my true identity," she said sadly. She was obviously still sad after their breakup

"He immediately decided upon divorce when the news spilled, but it wasn't so much because of my history but because he was so hurt that I had kept this from him for the 4 years we had a relationship.

"Even now I know he stills loves me but is too hurt to face me. I became really depressed and began my drinking. Originally he was going to take all three of you but I got hurt and angry from the divorce and demanded one of the children just because I was mad he was taking everything with him as he left. I had no clue that I had no responsibility for taking care of you and I had not gone to college so it was hard managing you and getting a well paying job.

"Now he's asking if you want to come home, and I know this time I'll make it right for you! I was so blind back then and filled up with myself that I had destroyed my own relationship and a future for you. That's why I am going to make you go at any cost!"

Tears were pouring from her face now and she found she couldn't hold back any longer she continued to sob for a long time without saying anything else. Gaara wasn't convinced though.

"I can't leave you though, mom."

"WHY ARE YOU STILL SAYING THAT! YOU'RE GOING!"

Never in his life had he seen his mother so angry, "It's not your faul—"

She threw a pen at him and thrust the consent letter in to the air, "SIGN THIS PAPER NOW!"

He was becoming scared of her. What was she going to do? He was so worried about her, though all he could do was shake his head, "I can't agree to this. I never will. I can't leave you suffering!"

"WHY!"

"Because I love you Mom!" Gaara was close to crying now. He couldn't stand his mom like this anymore. She was being too pessimistic with herself.

After that was said, she stopped her chaotic movement and relaxed her muscles a little, folding her hands in her lap. Her eyes expressed no emotion and she didn't say anything for a long time. Completely idle and selfless. Finally, her mouth opened up, to speak. She didn't yell or scream this time but whispered as tears fell down her cheeks in silence, "Fine." She gazed at Gaara straight in eye before running in to the kitchen and grabbing a cooking knife, "If I can't do anything for my son, than there's no point in me living!"

Gaara's lips stood agape. He wanted to stop her, but it was too late. The silver arc of the blade oozed with a scarlet red and pooled from her vital spot. She had stabbed herself in the abdomen, and Gaara knew it was pointless to call an ambulance. He rushed over to her quickly as she fell to the floor and he feared that he was going to lose the one and only person that cared about him. He was a Mama's boy and he knew that would never change.

He put his arms behind her back to support her. He was crying now. All his life he had gone through the worst hells he could ever imagine but this was far by the worst. What have I done to attain this suffering? He asked himself, but no answer came. Only the continuing pattering of the rain seemed to show the littlest attention. Looking down at his mother in his arms, he saw her trying hard to speak, "Gaara…"

"Okaa-san," he whispered, trying his best poker face even though the tears streamed from his eyes.

"I love you too, you know," she answered trying retain her breath, "I'm going to die soon I think. Go… sign the letter… please…"

"I—"

"No… you—you c-can."

"NO I CAN'T!" Gaara cried. He couldn't take this any longer.

"YES…" her voice was fading out, "you can…! I-if you don't…" She paused for a minute and then pushed herself up, heaving a large mouthful blood on the kitchen tiles.

"Okaa-san!" He tried supporting his mother and listening to her speak as best as he could.

"I-if you don't, I'll never….. ever," her words became more and more incoherent. She fell over on his shoulder from exhaustion, "ever….." She paused, and with her last breath made out her syllables before all energy was depleted, "forgive you."

Gaara put his finger under her nose to feel her warm breath but she had none. NO! He checked her pulse just to make sure he wasn't running crazy. No rhythm. NO! He felt her hand. It began running cold…

"NO!" He was crying like he had never cried. He was feeling a sharp pang of sadness he had never felt in his life before. He didn't want to live anymore. He didn't want to feel any more pain. He felt as if he was at fault. This would have never happened if he wasn't alive. He hated him self. He hated himself so much…

A/N:

End of first chapter yeah…. Sorta angsty you think? It'll get better though. Anyway, I am almost finished with my second chappie, so here's how my updating works: the more reviews I get, the faster I go. If I get no reviews on this first chap., I likely will discontinue this story.

I'm not trying to bitch around about how many reviews I get, but I'd really appreciate it if I could get some reviewers, so I don't feel like I'm writing this for nothing, and so I could get some ideas and advice.

Alright! Next time from Kryssy! – What is Gaara's decision? How does the funeral go? How is he coping with his life now? Huh? Wth?

–Bang!- Introducing… the sand sibs? Know it all in the second chapter!

Also feel free to check for "Curently working on - Check here for my story updates:" in my profile at the very bottom. It'll tell you story news, posting dates etc.

luv,

Krystal