Author's note: Written for meitachi over on LJ quite a while ago for her birthday. My first Taito fic.

Warnings: Underaged alcohol consumption, and slash.

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon.

Such Great Heights

by SVZ

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Tai isn’t sure when it started but realization dawns on him midway through their usual Friday night study session. He’s sitting on floor, with his homework spread out all over the Ishida’s coffee table and he’s trying to figure out how to end his conclusion for his Japanese literature paper while Matt chews on the end of his pen thoughtfully, his eyes intent on solving the math problem in front of him, his elbow resting on the table while resting his chin in his hand.

It’s like a jolt to his system, and time feels frozen, only, it isn’t because if it is frozen, then Matt wouldn’t be pulling at the ends of his blond hair in frustration like that.

Tai gulps, and the room seems to spin, and Matt doesn’t notice, he taps the pen against his notebook as he tries to solve the problem, but when Tai’s sharp intake of breath causes Matt to look up-- his facial expression unreadable, but his too blue eyes concerned.

“Do you want some water?” Matt asks, already rising to his feet, but Tai beats him to it.

“No, no, I’ll go get it myself,” Tai says quickly, making an easy escape into the Ishida’s kitchen, aware that Matt’s staring at his retreating back, confused and maybe even hurt at his abruptness.

The water helps—-really, it does—--because now his throat isn’t dry but being in the familiar kitchen only makes it worse, after noticing the handwritten list of pizza deliveries and Chinese takeout that’s attached to the refrigerator by a magnet, and the almost full garbage can, and the sink full of dirty dishes.

No wonder he’s been thinking of Matt as someone who's delicate, he realizes, as he rinses the mug. Matt doesn’t really take care of himself too well, does he? If all he eats is takeout and pizza… and that's if he even remembers to eat, anyway… between school, the band, and homework.

Matt eyes him with mild curiosity when he comes back into the living room, and Tai smiles in apology, “Sorry, I don’t know what went over me,” and he’s glad when Matt just smiles back, and doesn’t push the subject.

“Want to take a break?” Matt asks, closing his math notebook and stretching. He moves effortlessly and with grace, sorta like our cat, Tai thinks, but maybe not as twitchy.

Matt’s already on the couch, and making room so Tai could join him, and he’s flipping through the channels, trying to find something that’s not Doramas or news, which proves to be pretty hopeless since it is Friday night, and Tai has to fight back a wry grin when he remembers they are such dorks for staying in and doing schoolwork instead of partying or hanging out with their friends.

It’s their senior year, for god’s sakes, they should enjoy it—but somehow, neither of them minds spending their Friday nights finishing up their homework. Especially if it means leaving their weekend free and not being up at four a.m. on Monday morning, desperately trying to finish their Japanese literature paper.

Besides, he and Matt don’t get to see each other much at school due to conflicting schedules. The two of them have history together, but that isn’t much because they sit at opposite sides of the room and their teacher’s as interesting as a sack of dirt and it takes a lot of effort to stay awake when he drones on about stuff that have been drilled into their brains years ago. Tai has his soccer practices and Matt has band practices, so Friday nights are the only times they get to have some best friend bonding time. 'Sides, they'll have time to chill when college starts.

We really are dorks, Tai reflects, and a soft poke in the ribs makes him look up to see Matt looking at him oddly again.

“You OK?” Matt asks, and when Tai nods, sheepishly, Matt shakes his head, indicating he won’t ask. “Want to watch this?” he gestures to the screen.

It’s some sort of weird sci-fi horror movie that involves five teenagers and stupid decision that involves getting lost in some creepy forest. The ending will probably be cliché, and it’ll probably somehow involve an axe-murderer and dead bodies, and the cutest girl there will probably be the one who makes it out alive and will need years of therapy afterwards, but nothing’s better on, so Tai shrugs and agrees, and volunteers to turn off the lights while Matt digs around the kitchen for a semi-edible snack and a couple of beers.

Tai’s attention keeps drifting as the movie progresses, and he wonders if all the people would just die already instead of running, finding another dead body, and scream some more. The popcorn tastes stale and the beer’s not all that great, but he tightens his hold on the can because his fingers feel all twitchy and he needs to hold onto something or he’s afraid he might reach out and brush that wisp of blond hair that's falling into Matt’s eyes away.

The movie’s not helping, because while Tai finds the movie stupid and cliché, Matt looks as though he thinks it’s really interesting. The light from the TV screen flickers across the dark room and highlights Matt’s high cheekbones and makes his hair look weird, but in a nice way, because it looks sort of glowy but also cool, and Matt’s expression looks thoughtful, as though he’s composing lyrics in his head while watching an idiotic, overly hormonal teenage guy get mauled by a maniac axe-wielding killer. The lighting also makes him look younger too, almost as though they were eleven, lost in the Digital World and at each other throats’ again.

Tai takes the time to scrutinize Matt’s appearance, and he thinks that Matt looks too thin and bony, even if that's considered "in". It's probably because Matt never has time to eat between practice and school, and the last time Matt and his dad went grocery shopping was roughly around the time when Davis was still crushing on Kari.

So, like, last year.

He makes a silent promise to invite Matt over for dinner more often.

Tai tries to takes another chug of beer, only to find out it’s empty and that’s annoying because he wants something to distract him, and if he screws up and do something stupid, he could say he was drunk. Now his fingers are itching to mess up Matt’s spiky hair for whatever ungodly reason even though he knows it’s probably going to be stiff from all the hair gel Matt piles on every morning. Instead, he reaches over and pops open the tab from Matt’s untouched can, and Matt doesn’t notice because he’s too sucked into the damn movie.

The beer still tastes bad, but it also clears his head, which Tai finds kinda odd, since isn’t beer suppose to make you forget things and make you woozy? Maybe it’s different for everyone, Tai muses.

In any case, he feels himself relax slightly, and he still finds the movie stupid and cliché—and the blood is definitely ketchup, and Cute Girl is now crying her eyes out now that her boyfriend’s dead and hanging from a tree, so why doesn’t she run before she adds to the body count, dammit?

He’s not drunk, Tai knows, but he can feel the effect of the alcohol taking effect. He feels looser, and he can’t help but think that Matt’s pretty hot from this angle, you know, for a guy, since all those girls (and even boys) in his unofficial fan club at school couldn’t be wrong, and Matt looks almost feminine in the right light.

Then that makes him wonder if Matt’s lips are really as soft as they look, and then he blinks because he’s pretty sure he’s not gay, and well, Matt doesn’t really seem pretty gay—actually, no, come to think of it… Matt really is gayer than he is, with all the time he takes to do his hair and how positively anal he is about his clothes as well as his obvious disinterest in the opposite sex but that doesn’t make him gay, right? And really, there’s nothing wrong with wondering if your best friend’s lips are soft.

Right.

So...

Damn. The beer really isn't helping.

“Want me to get you another one?” Matt says, suddenly, and it takes a second for Tai to grasp the fact that Matt is asking him a question, and he bloody well answer it sometime before tomorrow.

“Um, yeah, sure,” Tai responds, and he’s pretty sure Matt’s about to ask if anything’s bothering him, but Matt just looks at him funny and goes off to the kitchen, taking the two empty cans with him.

To his surprise, Matt turns on the light and switches off the T.V. when he comes back, and he brings with him a six pack of beer.

“Won’t your dad mind?” Tai wonders and Matt just shakes his head.

“He won’t even notice,” he remarks, dryly, and he shoves another can into Tai’s hands. “So, what’s been bugging you? You’ve been distracted all night.”

“It’s nothing,” Tai replies quickly, popping open the tab and taking a big gulp. Matt is unconvinced, and his eyes narrow in irritation.

“Don’t bullshit me, Tai,” Matt says, his voice low and serious, but also concerned. “You keep staring at me. At first, I thought a hair was out of place or something, but I checked the mirror and my hair's fine, and there's nothing on my face. Is anything… wrong? Is there something you need to tell me?”

Tai grits his teeth and groans, and doesn’t answer Matt directly. He shoves an ice cold beer in front of the blond; even though he knows Matt doesn’t like to drink much, because he's Matt and Matt thinks drinking is stupid since they'll have hangovers by tomorrow.. “Trust me,” Tai tells him, “It’s better this way.”

Matt accepts the can with a quick murmur of thanks, and he makes a face at the bitter taste, but he gets over it and downs the can and reaches for another. Tai can’t help but stare at Matt’s smooth, white throat and he has to shake himself out of it.

“You’re doing it again,” Matt comments, and he sees Tai’s expression and clarifies, “You’re staring. Seriously… what’s up?”

Tai can tell by the slight steely edge in Matt’s voice, the way his eyes are fixed on his, and how his knuckles are white from his tight grip on the edge of the coffee table that he’s losing his patience, and he tries to open his mouth and explain, but words seem clumsy and inadequate and he doesn’t know where to start and how to end, and now Matt’s putting him on the spot, and he hates it when he has to answer questions on the spot because then he can’t think clearly. Well, unless it’s school, because well, he’s usually used to answering random questions at point-blank then.

“And?”

“I don’t know,” Tai confesses. “I really don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“That makes the two of us then,” Matt quips, his eyebrows raised, and he gulps down some more beer. “Just… talk. I mean, honestly, Tai… if you’re not even sure about your feelings, how the hell am I suppose to help you?”

“It’s your fault anyhow,” Tai mutters, cursing under his breath, and he takes another sip. It burns at the back of his throat.

“Excuse me? How is it my fault?”

Tai muffles a small groan, and curses again because he recognizes that tone of voice—and that means that Matt’s is about to get really pissed at him.

“Forget it,” Tai says, trying to change the subject. “Just forget I said any—“

“Fuck, Tai!” Matt says, his eyes blazing, and he slams his can against the table hard. “We’re not going to ignore the subject! And how on earth is it my—“

Maybe it’s because he just wants Matt to shut the goddamn hell up, and this is the only thing he could think of, or maybe it’s because he once saw it in a chickflick movie… or maybe it’s the beer. On a second thought, yeah, it’s probably the beer.

Hell, if he’s going to be drunk, Tai thinks rather foggily, he wants to reap the benefits of a good excuse, so he leans forward and presses a sloppy kiss to Matt’s surprised mouth. Matt’s not resisting, and in fact, he wraps his arm around Tai’s waist and draws him closer in way that makes Tai grin into a mess of lips and tongue.

Matt tastes like cheap beer and something sweet, melon-flavored even. Maybe it’s his favorite kind of candy or something, Tai thinks, and he grabs a fistful of Matt’s shirt, and steadies himself by putting his hand on Matt’s shoulder.

When Tai pulls away for air, he finally gives in and runs a hand through Matt’s hair. It’s stiff at the ends from the unholy amount of hair gel Matt piles on, but it’s almost soft at the roots, silky-like and feels surprisingly familiar between his fingers. He hears Matt’s breathing hitch a little, and decides to trace his thumb down Matt's jaw line.

“So… is this why you’ve been staring at me all night?” Matt asks, in an attempt to sound normal, but his face is flushed red, and not only from the alcohol.

Tai thinks for a bit, and then grins. “Not really. I kept thinking how you look so goddamn fragile, Matt,” he sighs, looking Matt up and down; from his now messy hair, swollen lips, and wrinkled shirt. “ I mean, I'm definitely not complaining about the kiss... that's for sure but I feel like I’m going to break you if I try anything…”

Matt blinks, “ Who was the one who beat up the guys from your rival soccer team when they were trying to ambush you after the game?”

Tai laughs at the memory. “Man, you put your guitar to good use… Remember when we were twelve we used to wrestle each other and stuff? Now I can't do that you because you're like, thirty pounds lighter than me. I'm afraid that I'll hurt you since I'm the jock, and you're the artsy musician." Before Matt could protest, he adds, "And I know you’re not made of glass or anything. But… god, you really need to eat more. You're all skin and bones, and lots of hair gel.”

Matt snorts, “Fine. But only if you invite me over to your house for dinner now and then because I'm sick of ordering pizza.”

“Deal."

The silence's nothing new, since they've been best friends for years now, but still, it seems different somehow, and it makes Tai sort of nervous because how are things going to change between them now and will this affect their friendship any? God, he hopes not because he likes being friends with Matt and Matt's a damn good kisser too and all this thinking is making his head hurt.

" Er... You know… I bet we can catch the end of the movie if we turn the T.V. on right now.”

“I already saw it last week. The cute girl is the only one who survives and I think she ends up in a mental institution.”

“Oh.” Tai tries to think of something smart or witty to say, but comes up dry. “Uh… so…”

Matt just smiles at him, and shakes his head, and if Tai didn’t like him so much, he would hate him for being so cool about everything.

“Tai, you want to stay over tonight?”

“But I always stay—“ Tai starts, but then breaks off, and turns red. “Uh…sure. Hold on a sec, I’ll just call my parents,” he says quickly, starting to dig through his bag for his cell phone.

“Cool.” Matt glances over at their homework and shakes his head, rising to his feet. “Let’s just go to bed. I think we can finish up our homework tomorrow and my dad's working late in the office tonight, as usual." He casts a look at Tai, who's busy talking to his mother, and mouths, “Meet you in my room?” and receives a thumbs up and a wide grin in return.

-- fini--

Author's note: Constructive criticism and feedback very much welcomed. There is no sequel, so please don't ask me to update this or ask for "more".