Hey everyone... Here we are, at the end. I can hardly believe it.

Thanks for all the reviews and votes. Y'all rock my socks.

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Disclaimer: Nuthin'.

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"Is everybody ready?" the dark-haired elf called, and then paused with one hand theatrically cupped around his ear to listen to the chorus of assorted yeahs and yeses. "I'm sorry, I can't hear you…"

"YEAH!" roared the audience obediently.

The elf grinned. "Well, Sahi, I think that means it's time to start."

The blonde elf nodded, picking up some speech cards. "And where better to begin than with the first award? The nominees for the Award for Best Really, Really Stupid Thing aaaaare…"

"…Seto Kaiba…"

"WHAT?" yelled Seto as his face was projected onto the huge screen behind the elves. Joey and Tristan sniggered.

"…Gliyahadrath… and Ed!"

Ed's picture replaced the large portrait of Gliyahadrath as the carpet waved two of its tassels over each of its 'shoulders', as if to say thank you, thank you…

Two large men in black quietly came to stand behind Kaiba, to restrain him if necessary as the screen split into four, three of the sections having footage from cameras trained on the nominees in them. The fourth section was focussed on the two MC elves.

"And now…" said Sahi, beaming at the audience and lifting an envelope into the air. Once the camera had gotten a good long look at it, she passed it to the dark-haired elf.

He cracked open the seal and cleared his throat. "The winner of Best Really, Really Stupid Thing is… ED!"

The square of the screen that contained Ed stretched to fill the whole screen with Ed as he flew down to the stage, doing little cartwheels in the air as he went. Kaiba let out an audible sigh of relief.

The dark-haired elf smiled and shook one of Ed's tassels. "Congratulations, Ed! We'd ask you to say a few words, but under the circumstances…" The audience dutifully tittered. Ed bowed and accepted a small silver trophy from Sahi, which looked suspiciously like an Oscar but for the facts that it was silver, and the figure on it was definitely female. It also appeared to be pulling a tongue.

As Ed flew back to his seat amidst applause, Sahi turned and smiled at her co-host. "Well, Jinan, I suppose this next award is one that we'll never get, eh?"

"Which award is that, Sahi?"

"The Award for Best Banter, of course!" Sahi said, and chuckled. Jinan gave the roof a why me look, making the audience snicker.

"Anyway," Jinan said, plucking the speech cards from Sahi's hands. "The nominees for this award are… Joseph Wheeler and Seto Kaiba…!"

There was a duet of "WHAT?" from Joey and Kaiba, who immediately glared at each other.

"…and Marik Ishtar and YamiBakura…!"

Bakura and Marik exchanged dubious glances. "Banter? Us?"

Sahi picked up the envelope before Jinan could get to it and held it up for the cameras to admire as the live-feed of Bakura, Marik, Joey and Seto flickered up onto the screen, with the square showing the envelope in the middle.

"And! The winner! Is!" she announced, pulling the slip of paper out of the envelope. "…Joseph Wheeler and Seto Kaiba!"

The men in black each grabbed a pair of shoulders and frogmarched the winners to the stage. Seto was heard to yell something about a lawyer. Joey was heard just plain yelling.

"Well done!" Jinan said pleasantly, grabbing Seto by the arm and dragging him up to the lectern as Sahi did the same for Joey. The elves' slim arms were apparently a lot stronger than they looked.

"Congrats!" said Sahi, presenting Joey with his trophy, and Janin handed Seto his. "Would the two of you like to say a few – oh." Kiara was busy signally frantically with both hands. Sahi watched her intently for a moment and then smiled brightly at the camera. "I see we haven't time for a speech from these two winners to say their pieces – so let's have a round of applause for our winners, Joseph Wheeler and Seto Kaiba!"

The audience roared its approval. Kiara dabbed at her eyes with a handkerchief, pausing to wink cheerfully at the winners as they stalked past her.

"Next up…" said Sahi, sneakily slipping the speech cards from Janin's loose grasp as he watched Joey and Seto whispering insults at each other. "We have the Award for the Best Smirk! Let's hear it for our nominees – "

Janin grabbed the cards back. " – Seto Kaiba, Kiara and YamiBakura!"

Kiara looked honestly shocked, and she could be seen on the square of the screen devoted to her mouthing, 'Really? Really, really? Me? Gosh!' Kaiba, on the other hand, was leaning back in his chair with a blasé, been-there-done-that look on his face. Bakura was looking inquiringly at the camera, probably wondering if it would be worth stealing.

Sahi lifted the new envelope again. The cameras dutifully filmed it. She lowered her arm and cracked open the seal, pulling out the slip of paper. "And the award goes to… Yami BAKURAAA!"

Bakura raised an eyebrow and got to his feet, sauntering casually to the stage. After accepting the statuette, he simply said, "How remarkable." And then he smirked, making the audience go wild. As he sloped off to his seat, his hand crept casually into his pocket and carefully pushed Sahi's bracelets and Janin's cufflinks deeper, into the secret section.

Janin cleared his throat and glanced down at the speech cards. "The next award," he began, as soon as the cheering had died down, "is the Award for Most Annoying."

Sahi carefully slid the cards out of his grip and smiled at the camera. "And the noms are…"

"Weevil Underwood – " said Janin, peering over Sahi's shoulder to read from the cards.

Sahi jerked her shoulder into his chin and continued, still smiling, " – Tea Gardener – "

Tea's mouth dropped open, and an expression of outrage formed on her face.

" – and," finished Janin, massaging his jaw with one hand. "Seto Kaiba!"

In his seat, Seto rolled his eyes theatrically for the camera looking down at him and then pretended to be looking for something in one of his pockets.

"The winner is… Tea Gardener!" declared Jinan with a dramatic wave of his arm that almost decapitated Sahi.

Tea stared blankly at the stage, utter mortification in her eyes. She seemed to be glued to her seat, despite the cheers around her.

"Come on up!" prompted Sahi, her smile getting a glazed quality for a moment as she grabbed Janin's arm and twisted it behind his back.

Another man in black melted into vision and forcibly escorted Tea to the stage. The brunette, obviously snapped out of her shock, began to shriek incoherently at him. He resolved this problem by putting a hand over her mouth. She continued to 'MMF!' at the top of her voice all the rest of the way to the stage, but by the time they reached it, she was worn out, and the man in black removed his hand.

"Thank you," she mumbled, non-too-graciously, upon receiving the statuette, and then pushed Janin out of the way to stand before the microphone. A dreamy smile came onto her face as she silently surveyed the audience. And then she began.

"I'd like to thank the Academy – well, obviously not the Academy in this instant, but whichever body serves in that capacity, thank you. I'd like to thank my mother and father, for always being an inspiration to me. I'd also like to thank my fiancée, Yami Moto – "

There was a strangled yelp from the audience, which Tea ignored, still smiling blissfully.

" – for always just being there… and to my FRIENDS, who are the best friends ever, who went with me through thick and – "

Janin picked Tea up and, in one smooth movement, threw her off the stage. There were cheers from the audience, and one or two asking 'Huh? Is it over yet?', having been roused from a very nice nap by all the clapping.

He grinned at the audience and, dusting his hands off, returned to his place. "Right. Where were we?"

Sahi, grinning equally broadly, looked at the speech cards. "Now it's time for the Award for the Most Bullied."

"For the first time in history," said Janin, and the "Momentous Moment" music began to play in the background, on cue. "This award has been won by someone who managed to secure every single vote."

The audience murmured their collective amazement.

"And this man is… the only and only, unanimously Most Bullied, Seto Kaiba!"

This time, the men in black were not needed to get Kaiba up onto the stage. He accepted his award with a fittingly self-deprecating smile, and then took his place at the lectern.

"I don't make speeches," he said, with typical Kaiba charisma (i.e. next-to-none at all). "But I would just like to point out to whoever voted for me that if any of you hadn't, I'd be wondering about your mental health. It was fairly obvious." And with that deep, profound thought, he stalked off the stage. Several fan-girls got so excited they swooned, and had to be carried out of the room.

Once this was done, Janin coughed into the microphone, which sounded like a TV that hasn't been tuned yet with the volume on high. Now that he had everyone's attention, he smiled charmingly. "Now then, ladies and gentlemen, shall we move on to the next award?"

"The Award for the Best Innocent Look!" filled in Sahi, stepping forward and onto Janin's toes.

Janin winced and grabbed the speech cards from her. "The nominees are… Ryou Bakura!"

Sahi swiped the cards back. "… and Kiara!"

Janin held up the envelope, making Sahi look like she wanted to jump up and snatch it from him. He brought it down, still holding it out of the way of Sahi, who pouted theatrically.

"And the winner of the award is – "

Sahi elbowed him in the stomach and grabbed the slip of paper with the name on it. She looked at it and then beamed into the camera. "Kiara!"

The camera focussed on Kiara's seat, but it was empty.

"Um, Kiara, where are you?" Sahi asked, her smile slipping.

Kiara peered over her shoulder. "Gosh," she said thoughtfully. "It is me."

Sahi spun around and fell over, Janin catching her before she hit the floor.

Kiara grinned and clapped her hands. Confetti began to fly down from the ceiling. "I'd like to thank… my goldfish, and my turtle!" she yelled, waving her statuette. After a pause, she continued in a more-or-less normal voice, "Even though I don't have a goldfish or a turtle… I'd just always wanted to say that!"

She grinned, winked, and skipped merrily off the stage, humming The Lame Song. At the edge of the stage she stopped and blew the audience a kiss, before proceeding in a slightly decorous fashion to her seat.

Sahi, after looking into a little hand-mirror and fiddling with her hair until it was perfect again, cleared her throat and said, "On with the show, then. The next award is the Award for the Best Time-Waster!"

"And the nominees are…"

"YamiBakura! Weevil Underwood – gosh, is he related to Carrie?" Janin poked Sahi, who coughed and muttered, "Okay, never mind that!" before continuing, "Aaaaand…. the Sisters of Darkness and Ligt!"

The audience snickered. Kiara smacked her forehead. Janin whispered something in Sahi's ear.

"Oh, sorry," the blonde said cheerily, beaming again. "Just a typo. The Sisters of Darkness and Light!"

Janin relieved her of the envelope and, after holding it up for the camera, opened it and tipped the piece of paper into his hand. "The winner is… Carrie – no, sorry, bad joke there – Weevil Underwood!"

Confused sections of the audience applauded, while the rest sniggered. Weevil got up and walked onto the stage, muttering curses.

Sahi treated him to a dazzling smile. "Congratulations, Weevil… I think…"

"Wsgfrg…" was all Weevil could come up with. He looked like he'd just seen a particularly rare bug, or some such thing.

"Would you like to say anything?" Sahi asked gently, handing him the award.

Weevil looked at the award, and then up at Sahi. "Gshhplg…"

"I meant," said Sahi, with a long-suffering expression, "in English, or at least in a recognisable language."

Weevil opened and closed his mouth a few times, and then shrugged and bowed to the audience before getting off of the stage.

Janin took his fist out of his mouth and composed himself. "Right, ahem." He grabbed the speech cards and glanced down at them. "And now, the Award for Best One-Liners!"

"The nominees are…" Sahi snatched the cards from him. "…Seto Kaiba!"

Janin very calmly pried Sahi's fingers off of the cards and smiled at the camera. "… YamiBakura… and… Kiara!"

"I so own this one!" Kiara grinned, staring expectantly at the envelope on the screen as Sahi's long fingers broke the seal and turned it over, tipping out the piece of paper.

"The winner…" Sahi began, drumming her fingers on the microphone to create a loud, whoosh-y drumroll effect. "Is…"

Janin grabbed it and called out, "Yami… Bakura!"

Bakura looked startled as his image filled the screen. "Me?"

"Yes, you!" Ryou pushed him up, out of his seat, beaming with pride. Kiara glared at the two and pouted.

Bakura looked around at the cheering crowd, and then smirked. He gave the crowd a sweeping bow, and then made his way to the stage. Once there, he gently pried the statuette out of Janin's hands, gave Sahi a kiss on the cheek, and walked up to the microphone.

"I'd just like to say," he said, to the suddenly silent audience, "that I'm so glad it's finally official." And with that, he swaggered back to his seat, with the cheers of the audience ringing in his ears.

Sahi came unglued and cleared her throat. "Er, right… onwards!"

"Onwards ever, backwards never!" said Janin, taking on a British accent. Sahi smacked her forehead and sighed quietly. The dark-haired elf took this opportunity to relieve her of the speech cards.

"Right," he said, grinning at the camera. "The next category is that of Best Use of Magic! The nominees are… Kiara! Marik Ishtar! And… Seto Kaiba!"

Marik blinked blankly for a moment, and then leaned over to whisper a question into Ishizu's ear. His sister shrugged and smiled at him.

Sahi snatched the envelope from its perch before Janin's hand was even halfway there, and held it up triumphantly. As the camera zoomed in, the curly writing on the envelope – the same script that had been on all of them – became legible. It said 'Best Use of Magic, yo!' It has yet to be discovered why the 'yo' was added.

Sahi slit the envelope open and pulled the slip of paper out. "The winner… is…" She paused dramatically to look up at the three nominees on the screen, and then finally finished. "…Kiara!"

"OH MY HECKLINGNESS!" Kiara yelled, leaping into the air and pin-wheeling her arms wildly and grinning so widely that she was almost splitting her face in half.

She raced up the stairs and onto the stage, jumping around and yelling incoherently at the top of her voice. Janin, crouched behind the podium with Sahi to avoid being knocked out by Kiara's wildly flailing arms, held out the statuette. Kiara grabbed it as she bounced past, and then landed in the middle of the stage. "Let me hear you – whoop, whoop!" she called.

"Whoop, whoop!" yelled the audience obediently.

Laughing and hugging her statuette, Kiara skipped off the stage, occasionally giving random audience members high-fives.

"Ahem." Sahi crawled out of her impromptu shelter and got to her feet. She spotted the speech cards lying a little way away the same time as Janin did, and the two dived for them, clawing at each other in their bid to reach the cards first.

Janin won. Smirking at the pouting Sahi, he reshuffled the cards into order. "And now… the Awards you've all been waiting for…"

"Starting with – " said Sahi, making a grab for the cards.

Janin lifted them out of reach and continued her sentence for her. " – Best Supporting Actress!"

"The nominees are…" said Sahi, trying to slip the cards out of Janin's grasp.

Janin smacked her on the hand with them and smiled winningly at the camera. "Serenity Wheeler…"

There was a muted cry of surprised happiness, followed by a cheer of brotherly support.

"…Tea Gardener…"

Tea leaped to her feet, waving her previous statuette, and turned to bow to the applauding audience.

"… and… Ryou Baku – no, wait… Sorry, Ishizu Ishtar!"

Bakura leapt to his feet and glared at the hosts. "Hey, you leave him alone!"

"That's just… so sweet…" Kiara blew her nose with a loud parping noise.

Bakura shifted his glare to her, sitting down. Ryou gave him a guarded, yet grateful look.

Sahi grabbed the envelope, and stuck her tongue out at Janin before turning and smiling prettily for the camera. "And… the winner is…"

Janin pulled the piece of paper from her hand and read into the microphone. "Miss Tea Gardener!"

"WHAT?"

That last was a chorus, consisting of Marik, Seto and Kiara.

Tea glared at them. "I heard that!" she muttered grimly, and then strode to the stage to receive her statuette from Janin.

Marik and Kiara immediately assumed identical innocent looks. Seto snorted and rolled his eyes, muttering something about the 'joys of democracy'.

Tea once again stood behind the podium, tears streaming from her eyes, but before she could say anything, the hosts took evasive action. A hook suddenly appeared around Tea's waist, pulling her off the stage. The audience cheered.

Sahi strutted back onto the stage, speech cards held firmly in her hand. She paused, and then shifted her features back into a dazzling smile. "Next up – the Best Supporting Actor!"

Janin sighed and waved a hand at her. "Go on."

Smiling smugly, Sahi nodded and looked directly into the camera. "The nominees are… Yugi Moto! Ryou Bakura! And… YamiYugi!"

As she reached for the envelope, still smiling smugly, she looked down at the place where the envelope was supposed to be. Her smile slipped; the envelope was not there.

"And the winner is…" said Janin, grinning impishly as he sat in a swing above Sahi's head. Sahi yelped in surprise and then glowered at him. Janin's expression was beatific. "…Yami! Yugi!"

"YEAH!" shouted Yugi, clapping madly. Yami got to his feet, bowed solemnly to the cheering, clapping audience, and then made his way to the stage, a grin lighting up his face.

Janin leapt from his swing and landed in a crouch on the stage in front of Sahi. He straightened and held out a hand for Yami to shake. "Congratulations!"

"Thank you," said Yami, taking the statuette from Sahi and accepting, with a light blush, a kiss on the cheek, and shaking Janin's hand with his free hand.

He stepped up to the microphone and smiled down at the audience. He cleared his throat and grinned. "I'd just like to say… IN your FACE, Bakura!" He lifted his statuette into the air as the audience, once again, exploded into applause. Yami strutted off of the stage, waving to what he would refer later to as his 'adoring public'.

"Right," said Sahi, yanking on the speech cards in Janin's hands.

He watched her for a few moments, and then, with a grin, let go. Sahi went flying, propelled by her own force of movement. Cards flew everywhere.

Janin held out a hand and a card jumped into it. He glanced at it and then smiled at the audience. "And now… the Award for Best Actress."

The audience went silent, as though someone had pushed their collective 'mute' button.

The Making History music came on. "The votes came in… and the choice was undisputed. The winner of Best Actress is… Mai Valentine!"

Mai let out a loud squeal of delight, and sprang to her feet, hugging Serenity and being clapped on the back by Tristan. She jogged up onto the stage and beamed, utterly speechless, at the two hosts. Sahi gave her a hug and kissed her cheek before handing over the gold statuette.

Janin gently propelled her over to the microphone.

"Gosh, I, er," she stammered, hugging her statuette. "Wow! What an honour! Thank you!"

Janin smiled as the audience responded, leading Mai to stand a little way away.

Sahi turned over to the next speech card and smiled. "And last, but most certainly not least… the Award for Best Actor!" She turned to look directly into the camera. "The nominees are… Joseph Wheeler… and YamiBakura!"

The camera focussed on the blonde and white-haired teens. Bakura surreptitiously patted his hair, making Kiara snicker.

"The winner is…" said Sahi, lowering her voice dramatically.

Janin tore open the envelope. "… Joseph Wheeler!"

There was an excited yell from Joey, and he and Tristan performed a quick victory dance in the aisle, before he ran up to the stage, slapping people's hands on the way.

He shook Janin's hand, and accepted the golden statuette, grinning like an idiot. Sahi steered him towards the microphone, and he cleared his throat awkwardly.

"Geez, I wish I'd been given notice," he said. "I'm hopeless at speech making, much less imp-pronto or whatever."

"Impromptu!" corrected Kiara helpfully, making the audience titter.

Joey rolled his eyes. "Thanks," he said sarcastically, making the audience titter again. Looking brighter, and less nervous, he grinned. "Well, I don't want to bore you guys with a silly speech thanking everyone from my mom to my…" he winked at Kiara. "…goldfish, but I'd just liked to say thanks to our director, Kiara, and to all you guys on the cast. It was extremely weird and totally random, but what the hey! It was fun! So thanks!"

He walked away and went to go congratulate Mai. As the camera swung around to film them, the two suddenly leaned in and kissed.

The audience went ape, with screaming of encouragement, some general shouting, and applauding.

Kiara ticked something off on her list with a very self-satisfied smile on her face, and then tucked her notepad back into a convenient rip in the time-space continuum.

Joey and Mai broke apart, both becoming flushed at the unexpected attention. They hurried back to their seats, avoiding everyone's eyes.

Sahi and Janin grinned at each other. "Well," they said together. "That about wraps up tonight's events. Would the cast and director please make their way up onto the stage?"

The cast trooped up onto the stage, with Kiara right behind. She walked over to Sahi and Janin, and had a brief conversation with them. Then the two of them faded into the background, and Kiara stepped forward.

"I hope you enjoyed Aladdin, YGO Style as much as I did," she said, grinning. "But now, I'm afraid, it's time to say goodbye…"

She turned, beginning to sing Hard to Say Goodbye, My Love from Dreamgirls, and waved a hand at the cast. They froze, and then shimmered out of sight.

Kiara finished the song and sighed, looking around the suddenly empty auditorium. "Well," she said, apparently talking to the ceiling. "That was fun. Thank you."

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That WAS fun... -grins-

Anyway, be on the look out for the next one... Sleeping Beauty, YGO Style!

:meow:
straykitty (who else?)