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Cartoons » Teen Titans » Shadows Of The Past
Chibi1309
Author of 8 Stories
Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Angst - Raven & Beast Boy - Reviews: 35 - Updated: 06-05-06 - Published: 10-29-05 - id:2638405

FORGIVE ME FOR NOT UPDATING:hides from flying shoes:

I'm really sorry – had so much on recently. I will be updating this story to the end, so stick with it! I love it so much – please read and review!


Chapter four - The Words of Tiredness

It was long past the early rays of sun, before Raven made the journey back to her home.

She made a small sighing sound as she passed through her window with ease. The whole night to think, breathe and understand…but she felt no better. A new day was dawning, but Raven's heart was set in stone.

Once more, she threw her shoes and cape off before crawling into the bed. As the covers settled around her scrawny figure, she let out a small breath and slowly closed her heavy lids.

Daylight was shining through her window by this point, and making her back warm with the heat. She snuggled further down, drifting deeper into the state of unconsciousness, letting her dreams take over, letting her mind settle and—

BANG BANG.

Raven sat bolt upright once more in the bed, and muttered rather angrily:

"WHAT?"

There was a strangulated noise on the other side of the door.

"Raven, are you awake…?"

'I am now,' thought the gothic teen, ruefully, as she got out of the dark bed. Robin had better have a fantastic reason for dragging her out of bed at…

She glanced at the clock.

…six in the morning.

"Robin, what is it?" she retorted, swinging her cape on and levitating her shoes onto her pale feet.

"Sorry to bother you…but it's early combat practice day today…"

Raven cursed herself for completely forgetting their monthly ritual. Once a month every month, without fail, the titans had an early combat practice day.

The combat practice would run on until ten-ish, where upon they would have a good breakfast and rest for the other part of the day. It was a good time to spend with each other as a 'bonding' thing, as well as training them for battle.

Usually, Raven was the first one up…agile and ready…her mind prepared to fight. The last one up was usually the green changeling, who would yawn and complain about the fact that his sleep was being disturbed.

Not today, obviously.

Raven raked a hand through her messed up hair and slid her door open, walking out. The Boy Wonder looked nervous for disturbing her, but his look of astonishment continued when she walked out.

"Uhm, Raven? Are you okay?" he questioned, evenly. Raven had completely neglected to put her hood up during the rush from her room.

She had bags under her eyes…her face was even more sullen than normal, and her eyes were shining dully.

Blinking, the Azarathian raised her hood with her powers and narrowed her lilac eyes. "Fine."

She began to walk off towards the front door, in a determined manner. Robin fell in step with her.

"Are you sure…you don't look so good," he reiterated, indicating to her face. Raven glanced at him sidelong.

"I said I was fine, didn't I?"

"Yes, you did but—"

"Then I'm fine," countered Raven, nodding her head curtly. However, she was far from fine. Her legs and arms ached with tiredness, her mind reeled with lethargy and she was having problems keeping her eyes open.

'Concentrate…focus,' she told herself, angrily. 'What's a little sleep? You need to prepare your mind for the task ahead.'

Robin gave a little exasperated sigh and left the silence after her words.

Raven felt a small pang of guilt. He was only asking…besides, she did look a state. She took pity on the fact that Robin probably hadn't slept that well, considering the fact that she had beaten him up mentally about his treatment of Starfire.

"I didn't sleep very well last night," added Raven, finally. Robin turned his head slightly, and let out a small smile.

"You weren't the only one," he replied, confirming Raven's thoughts. She nodded again, emotionlessly, and continued to look ahead, thinking of other things.

"If you don't want to do combat practice today, you don't have to."

"No…I want to," responded the gothic teen, clenching her fists beneath the cloak. "Thanks."

"Uhm, no problem," Robin said, shaking his head as if to clear his thoughts. He suddenly grabbed her arm and stopped her mid step. Raven turned her head inquisitively towards the leader and raised her eyebrow.

"Raven…you won't…tell Starfire about our conversation yesterday, will you?"

Raven couldn't suppress a small chuckle. "Is that what's been bothering you all night? You needn't have worried, Robin. I wouldn't tell Starfire anything…that's your job."

"Good," smiled the Boy Wonder, truly letting out a breath of relief. He seemed to have lifted ten pegs or more. "Thank you."

"It's nothing…just make sure you don't leave it too long…remember what I said."

"I won't," responded Robin, solemnly. "You know that today we take most of the day off…well…I thought I might take her some where nice and talk to her."

"I'm sure that she'd love that…honestly."

"Really?" asked the team leader, blushing profusely. "I…wasn't sure."

"Robin, you yourself are the person whom Starfire has feelings for. So acting like you normally do is bound to be the right thing…just be yourself and you can't go wrong."

Raven raised her eyebrows. Robin raised his and let out another sigh of relief. It seemed that all his problems were solved there on the spot…the true test however, remained to be seen.

The two titans continued walking in an amicable silence until they reached the assault course, where upon Raven joined the other four as Robin briefed them on what was going to happen.


After some time, it was Raven's turn to face the assault course. She was the last one, and the least enthusiastic that morning. Beast boy nudged her playfully, and she glanced at him suppressing a yawn.

"Good luck, Rae!" he began, mischievously. "Hope you can beat my time."

Raven rolled her eyes and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath.

'Right now, Beast boy,' she thought to herself, gently. 'I'm just worrying about getting through in one piece.'

But she didn't say anything out loud. Truth be told, she barely had the strength to. It was amazing how much sleep deprivation had affected her that morning. She cursed herself over and over, until Robin's voice shook her thoughts away.

"Raven, you ready to go?"

She opened her lilac eyes slowly and looked directly at the Boy Wonder. He was looking back, his eyebrows raised. Raven nodded, solemnly.

"As ready as I'll ever be," she confirmed, and he understood, nodding back.

Robin knew that Raven was perfectly capable of knowing her limits, and he wasn't about to muscle in. Besides, she was pretty damned determined when she wanted to be.

"Right. Cy, set up for Raven!"

"Already done, man," Cyborg replied, tapping a few of the keys on the computer. "She's good to go!"

"Okay. Raven, GO!"

Raven glided forwards, vigilant for anything that might appear. Suddenly a laser beam began firing at her.

Raven summoned up a large aura bubble to protect herself as she flew around the machine quickly, before releasing the bubble to fire a blast directly at the sweet spot, in the centre of the cannon.

It exploded, with a deafening roar, and she turned her back on it, continuing down the assault course.

Fifteen robots appeared, seemingly out of nowhere, and began marching towards her.

Beast boy narrowed his eyes. He didn't know much…but he knew Raven. And he could tell that something wasn't right. Her reactions were slower than usual, her movements were weak and slow. His animal instincts were ringing alarm bells in his head.

"Cyborg," called BB, causing the metal man to turn around abruptly. "Go easy on Raven…I think something's wrong."

"Nah, man…she's fine! Look!"

BB was looking. Raven was battling heroically but with each movement was becoming slower and slower.

Ten of the robots went crashing onto the floor in two separate halves as she cut them with an aura beam.

"Azarath, Metrion…ZINTHOS!" yelled the gothic teen with all of her energy, heart and soul pouring into the battle.

Four more of the robotic nemesis went down hard, crashing onto the floor.

"See what I mean, man!" Cyborg laughed, punching the air in triumph at Raven's victory.

Beast boy's eyes were narrowed. He was no genius, but he knew that four plus ten was fourteen. There were fifteen robots there a moment ago.

Raven had lowered her guard and was looking around. The changeling's eyes darted two and fro, as the Azarathian lowered her guard completely and lowered herself to the ground, panting heavily.

Suddenly, his eyes locked onto the enemy which was creeping stealthily up on the girl.

Raven, oblivious, was walking forwards towards the next section.

Suddenly, she felt her chakra pounding slightly. She could hear the whispers in her head, of voices she wanted to ignore, and stumbled slightly.

"It had been so long since she had allowed herself to feel

anything that this attraction, interest, empathy, whatever

it was that she had about him, alarmed her."

"Nervous and wary, she was reluctant to let their association

take even the smallest step onward."

Raven took a couple of shaky steps towards the next part, groaning. She was becoming delirious with lack of sleep and bad thoughts.

"Long-buried emotions threatened to bubble to the surface when she was around him."

"The painful lessons of past hurt still cast their shadow over her."

It was out of control. She was out of control. The voices only became louder. Her heart began to pound.

" She never wanted to experience anything like it again."

Raven fell down to her knees, clutching her head. She was well aware that her powers were creating an aura around her.

A second before she fell, the shapeshifter ran up behind her, in the form of a bull and dug his horns deep inside the stomach of the robot.

The robot was just about to attack the unsuspecting Azarathian, before it was impaled and tossed into the rubbish heap with the other fourteen, hissing and crackling with broken electrical circuitry.

Beast boy reformed, shaking the metal out of his hair and ran over, crouching down beside the gothic teenager, who's aura had vanished, and putting his arm supportively round her shoulder.

"Raven?"

Raven's hood toppled down, and Beast boy saw her face. He let out a gasp. She looked awful. Sullen, sunken and quite unwell.

"Raven, what's the matter?"

"Beast…boy…I—"

By this point, the other titans were running over. Cyborg skidded to a halt and crouched slowly next to Beast boy.

"Okay, I take it back. Sorry, Raven…I didn't mean to overload you…" he interrupted, unknowingly. "You okay?"

Raven's eyes were very glassy, and Beast boy lifted her up, slowly. She leant against him for support, but toppled the other side.

Robin and Starfire were there in an instant. Starfire immediately dodged beneath the other arm, holding her up.

Star felt Raven's forehead in a motherly way. "Oh, my. Raven you are bubbling over!"

Robin walked over, frowning. "I think we should get you checked out at the medical bay."

Raven frowned back, and glared. "That will not be necessary…I'm fine…"

"Uh huh. Well, just to be sure, okay?"

Raven glowered at him, but she knew he meant well. Cyborg hoisted her up into his arms, and the other titans ran alongside him, watching her like three hawks.

Raven couldn't protest. She was so exhausted she nearly fainted there on the spot. But she forced herself to stay awake, determinedly. She bit her lip, the pain coursing through her keeping her conscious.

Cyborg gently placed her on the bed and she nodded at him gratefully. "Thank you."

"No problem, Rae. We'll have you sorted out in a mo'."

Raven nodded, but she didn't believe him. What was wrong with her ran much deeper than anything which could be solved with medicine and rest.

Sighing, she leant against the pillows, one leg dangling over the edge of the bed lazily.

"Friend, would you wish for a glass of water? Or some mustard?" queried Starfire, floating in a worried manner next to her best friend. "Perhaps some of your…tea?"

Thoughts of Starfire attempting to make tea coursed through the Azarathian's mind.

"It's fine, Star. Honestly. I'm okay…"

Starfire nodded, as Robin walked over to the corner of the bed and felt Raven's forehead again.

"Even through my glove I can feel you're burning up."

"Super," Raven replied, sardonically. "Tell me some good news, why don't you?"

"Okay. You're going to get better," countered Robin. "And when you do, I want you to redo that assault course."

"Oh, well darn," growled Raven, looking down. "And I thought I'd got away with it."

"Not a chance," smiled the Boy Wonder, writing on a clipboard and handing it to Cyborg, who was typing on the computer. Robin began to talk to him, as they examined the tests and the results of some scans which had been completed.

Raven sighed, and swallowed. Her throat was like sandpaper. She looked upwards, and then at Star.

"Star…actually…I'll take that water…"

"Of course friend. I shall be back very, very soon!"

"Don't rush and spill it…" muttered the gothic teenager, sarcastic once more. The sarcasm kept her safe, kept her locked away tight. Starfire didn't understand this. With a funny look at Raven, she nodded and flew downstairs gently.

Beast boy suddenly reformed next to her. Raven jumped slightly.

"Beast boy? Where did you come from!"

"I've been here all along. Just sort of…keeping out of the way…I'm no good with the sciency stuff…"

"You could have fooled me…"

Once more the sarcasm attacked another victim. Raven cursed it – another spontaneous reaction to protect herself. She sighed.

"Raven," began the green shapeshifter, clutching at her arm. "You are…alright…aren't you?"

Raven gave a small smile and nodded. "I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Oh…I don't know," replied the green teenager, some sarcasm of his own evident. "Maybe considering what just happened."

"Yes, okay," Raven answered distantly, looking at the wall. She'd never noticed the walls were painted in a dull, boring grey in the medical room. She absently looked back, distracted.

"It's just a sleepless night, that's all," she explained, shrugging. "No big deal."

"It's a big deal if you are collapsing, dude."

"It was a one off. It'll be different tomorrow."

"That was surprisingly optimistic for you," laughed Beast boy, squeezing her hand then releasing it.

"That was a surprisingly long word for you," countered Raven, teasingly. She rolled her eyes and tucked her hair behind her ears then folding her arms. Starfire suddenly flew in with the glass of water.

"Raven, I was most careful not to spill a drop nor be messy and—"

"It's fine, Starfire," barged in Raven, taking the glass, gently and sipping the cool water, feeling her rough throat ease slightly. "Thanks."

"It was not a problem!" smiled the Tameranian, openly. Beast boy placed his hand on Starfire's shoulder as she landed, supportively.

Everyone loved Star, without question. She was so easy to get on with, regardless of with whom. Raven felt guilty at her jealousy for not only the love which Starfire had but also the beauty, but it was true they were complete opposites.

Perhaps Starfire was destined to have love and Raven just wasn't. Raven glanced down at the half empty glass.

'I'm a hard person to get on with,' she admitted, smoothing the sides nervously. 'I deserve exactly what I get – just like Star deserves the love she's going to get.'

"If we're ever short of cash, at least we know who can do some waitressing for money, right Raven?"

The Azarathian looked up slowly at Beast boy, and Starfire's giggling faces. She smiled weakly then nodded.

"Okay, Rae," Robin cut in, standing next to Star. "Cy's checked. You've got a bit of a fever, and you're over tired. But nothing major."

"Told you," replied Raven, defiantly. "I'm fine."

"You will be. I want you to stay in bed – no excuses – for at least two days. At least."

"Two days? Is that really necessary—"

"Raven, it's necessary," responded Robin, firmly. "Now, let it lie. Just stay in bed, okay?"

Raven sighed heavily and glared at the floor. "Stupid fever."

"Yeah, but Raven," Cyborg said, cheerfully. "On the bright side, you spend a lot of time in your room anyway."

"…I don't lie in bed all day…"

"I know," laughed the android, softly, rubbing the back of his head. "But…but…"

"Cy, I think you've dug yourself in a hole, dude," confirmed Beast boy, shaking his head in despair. Starfire fluttered forwards.

"I shall be your nurse for the few days, friend! I shall be there upon your every beckoned call!"

Raven gave a short strained laugh. Starfire meant well…but two days of her was likely to be a lot to handle. Still, one couldn't revoke kindness.

However, Robin looked pleadingly at Raven from behind Starfire's back. Raven slapped herself mentally.

Of course. Robin was going to tell Star this afternoon. Raven's mind worked very quickly. She could practically feel knowledge having a heart attack within her mind.

"That's very kind of you Star…but, you know what? I…um, was going to suggest that you me and Robin went to the cinema together, whilst Beast boy and Cy played on game station – like always – and it seems a shame not to," lied Raven very unconvincingly, looking at Cyborg.

He nodded behind Star and Robin's back. He knew about Star and Robin…of course he knew. Raven and him had spent hours talking about it.

"Beast boy and Cyborg can look after me…you and Robin should go…you can look after me all day tomorrow then…" Raven continued, mentally cursing every dimension she knew for what she had just imposed upon herself.

Robin owed her big time. His face relaxed and he mouthed 'thank you' towards her.

Raven meanwhile looked at Star, who looked back. Now it was the time for the code to pass between the two girls.

'Star, this is your perfect opportunity to spend some time with Robin…you could sort things out,' spoke Raven, telepathically, raising her eyebrow. Starfire blushed slightly at the invasion of her thoughts.

"Oh, uhm…yes," she smiled, grasping the girl in a firm hug. "Well, if you insist."

"I do," stated the gothic teenager, patting the princess on the back and mouthing towards Robin:

'You owe me one, Boy Wonder!'

He nodded guiltily, whilst Beast boy and Cyborg continued to nearly wet themselves with silent laughter. As soon as Starfire turned around, they straightened up, soberly.

"Okay, well you two get off and uh…me and B will take Raven to her room and stuff…"

"Yeaaah…you have a good time now!"

Starfire grabbed Robin by the arm. "Come friend! Let us go!"

"Okay, Starfire," he smiled, looking back towards the group. Seeing the two boys in silent laughter again, he made slitting throat signs towards them. This only made them laugh harder as he was whisked out of the door.

Raven rolled her eyes. "You two are so mean to him."

"Oh, now c'mon," laughed Cyborg. "If he couldn't take it, we wouldn't do it."

"Yeah," agreed Beast boy. "I think it's great that they're in love…but don't tell each other…"

He sounded wistful and sad at the same time. Raven raised her eyebrows and wondered what was the matter with him, sensing that there was something pestering his mind. After all…she was an empath.

"Right, little lady," Cyborg said, breaking the other two's thoughts. "Let's get you in to bed, tucked up tight!"

"Oh, great," groaned Raven as he picked her up once more. It was so degrading to be carried. Albeit by a good friend – it was still something which made her feel so useless and pathetic.

"Thank you nurse Cyborg!" she continued, mockingly. Cyborg almost dropped her but saved her skin at the last moment.

"Oops, sorry," he covered, glancing at Beast boy, who had fallen deathly quiet. Looked like they'd be having a talk after Raven was all settled down.

"Okay, here you are," smiled Cy, dropping Rae gently onto the soft sheets as she pushed herself down, yawning heavily.

"Thanks," she muttered, in her usual monotone voice. "Shut the door on your way out, please."

"As usual, your wish is our command," joked Cyborg. Raven's eyes flicked open and she glared. "I'm just kiddin'…"

"Sure you are," whispered the gothic teen angrily. "Can I go to sleep now?"

"Yeah, alright, we can take a hint."

Raven closed her eyes, but she had one more thing to do before she fell asleep. Her mind reached out to the green changeling.

'Beast boy, it's me. I just wanted to say thank you for helping me back there…I appreciate it.'

Beast boy glanced back as they walked out and gave a toothy smile, though it seemed rather strained.

'It's no problem at all Raven, any time you need. Just give me a shout, okay dude?'

Raven smiled back as he approached the door, but was frowning inside. What was bothering him?

'Deal.'


Thanks for reading my belated chapter. I'll update in like a couple of days – promise.

Love you muchly,

xChibix

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