Cool Change

The Albatross and the Whales they are my brothers

"How do I do this?" Videl pounded her fist to her head. Wondering just how many more upheavals did their family have to adjust to?

Goten had just gotten married, and Pan was practically married to Trunks. She and Pan just finished, thank Dende, the tournament. Life just kept throwing them little curve balls. Videl had went to work this morning to deal with a bunch of very old fashion ideologists, no dumb old men on her board. These old cantankerous men had needed a jolt of reality. It was fine that her and Pan to have worked on the Budokai; however, she still had issues with the day to day operations running Satan Enterprises. What with a chain of Dojos, apparel, training equipment, multimedia: from instructional videos to interactive videogames, and action figures, they just didn't get it. They smiled and nodded placating Videl with their ways; condoning that her ideas were funny little things to be humored by.

Flashback to this morning

Seeing through their façade angered her. Videl Satan was, is an astute business woman. She cried in her head, if she could just zap the ring leader with her Ki; a small ball enough to jolt him from his superior than thou spot. She had done it before and he acquiesces, she could do it again. However, try as she might she couldn't do it. She relaxed and pulled her energy and nothing. Videl's mind reeled. Ever since Gohan had taught her how there had only been one time since that she couldn't form a Ki ball. She shook her mind and tried again. And this time it left her felling drained, but to no affect. Claiming fatigue to her board Videl stopped and walked from the conference room. Her head held high and proud.

She was tired just like that. What if something was not right? It was rare, very rare to feel less than normal- it was a benefit of living with a Sayian.

Hurriedly, she left Satan Enterprise to go home. Stopping once at a local pharmacy, it was a crazy long shot, impossible at least but the niggling would not stop.

It was now 7PM. Pan had determidly stayed herself in her room. Videl made dinner and was totally distracted; Gohan came home to good smells but silence. Feeling like he should act fatherly, tried to convince Pan to come out but she complained of homework. Dejected and somewhat concerned he went back down to his office and read the mail. Videl left the kitchen for a moment and she stared at the package. She has to use the bathroom and her nerves were shot. She followed the directions, finished her business and laid the device down.

She washed her hands and rushed to her kitchen. Dinner was going to burn

Hurriedly, she turned the stove off and began to plate the easy meal; Fettuccini Alfredo with chicken and broccoli; a great comfort food for Gohan and Pan. Gohan had not left his office yet so she decided to bring him the food in there. She plated a mound of food and marched it to where he was engrossed in the night paper and the mail. Before she reached him though, she detoured to the bathroom, grabbing the device and continued on.

Videl's thoughts stopped but her body went through the motions. The dinner plate balanced carefully on one hand with the device in the other. It was a surreal moment for her. How the hallway passed by her, the door opened on its own accord and she saw herself give Gohan the plate of food which he greedily took.

She heard herself say; "Here's dinner hon." Gohan smiled through the first mouthful. She could see that he was staring at her hands and she looked down at the incriminating test device. That niggling that thing which sapped her power…

"What's that?" asked Gohan pointing to the item in her hands

Perhaps she didn't have to be polite and could d ignore his question she thought. "What! Oh! This?" she asked

Gohan nodded but kept eating. Not all that interested in what Videl was holding, but her facial reaction was interesting, dumfounded even. Very unVidel like ….hmmm he wondered.

"Well, he he (nervous laughing) well, so you got dinner, Ill leave you to it."

She turned to leave the room but his commanding reasonable, lovely voice halted her.

"Hon?"

Inwardly she shook her head. Gohan's voice squeaked with this kind of news. Cell, not a problem but this… thinking of Cell actually made her have a nervous giggle but she said, "Well yes, so here you go, (she placed the device down face up for him to see). I took that today I couldn't form a Ki ball so well, well um so see it says positive."

Videl ran.

"What? What says positive?" he asked as he reached for what Videl had left him.

The incriminating result, it did indeed have a blue + sign, "positive?"

"What?" (lowly), "What?"(higher), "Oh Kami!"(squeaking) , "But, but Videl!"

She put her head down on the kitchen table. It was 21 years too late. She was not yet 40 which was ten years too old to have a baby. Five tops and a Sayian? "Oh God!"

Videl had stopped yearning for little sounds, cooing, tiny clothes and huge appetites, midnight changes, and warm tails that wrapped around her wrist. Sweet smells and love. "Oh God!" she had missed those times but it had been so long. Pan was at the age to have her own kids. Not her and Gohan. They were so happy. Babies as delicious as they were hard they were having fun!

" He he, too much fun!" Videl said aloud. She was trying to ignore Gohan's noises in the other room.

22.3 minutes. She sighed. That was how long it took Gohan to normally calm down. Videl smiled when she heard his footsteps.

"Videl?" he whispered

She turned to look at him noting how his hair had that disheveled look similar to Goten's and Goku's.

Worry etched her eyes, but beneath all of that Gohan saw happiness, a relief, slight though. But he still saw those things. He could read people another gift form his dad.

"Wow, come here." He said gently.

Videl moved lighting fast and Gohan held on to her. His serenity his normal inner peace elevated them both. Slowly he took her from the house and flew off. Keeping her warm with his Ki- he flew- this was the only place for privacy oneness.

Pan had thought, napped and thought some more now she needed Trunks.

Ring…

"Moshi, Moshi"

"Trunks its Pan"

He couldn't suppress the smile, "Pan, love, how are you?"

OMK (oh my Kami) She Thought too friendly, "I am good had a long nap after school today."

"Oh" concern etched in his response so tangible.

"Can we talk?" Pan asked

He was taken back. He would give Pan whatever she needed, "Over the Phone?" he asked to clarify.

"Yeah for now, I just had some questions."

"I am all yours" the double meaning obvious to him hopefully to her too.

"I just want you know that I plan to finish school." She told him ignoring his comment.

"OK, I know"

"OK and that I have some plans up ahead" she continued.

"Uh huh, I figured as much" he gave her encouragement to keep talking.

"I don't want to jump ahead" she continued, "without have some things accomplished."

"Pan, um you said that you had some questions and so far you really haven't asked any- and I am not trying to argue, no I just think this is not talking like you said …" he was leading her to it.

"Oh, yeah. Oh hey, I am sorry I just hoped you know those things." She said sadly.

"Is that your question? I know you have goals and plans. Pan, we, you and I have dreams it use to be part of our conversations. Remember? Your dreams my dreams. Here's a question DO you remember any of mine?" He hated to turn this around on her, but he felt he had rights too…

Pan thought. Trunks dreams- Shit! She could only think vaguely, but she wrote them down in a notebook… "Trunks, I do- I really do I just felt that I owed you something more than 'I'm tired' from the other day. I really was tired."

"I know…"

"Trunks could I be assured that my dreams can be ascertained by me without losing myself?"

"Pan…Pan (quietly) I could give you your dreams- but you don't want that. I see that. However, losing yourself, I can't say. I mean I don't want you to hide yourself. Can't you feel? How close we are? I won't intrude or invade, but if we are together, then you know that our lives will blend. Its part of who we are as Sayians. It doesn't take away who we are. Look at our parents and our friends. No one ever lost themselves in a bond…"

"But, they are not us. Vegeta don't care about Capsule Corp, and my dad doesn't care about Satan enterprise, not when his books matter… and Bra and Goten are odd anyway. And Grandpa he only eats and fights and plays… In some ways we will be in competition, we always have been, but you seem to always win."

He smiled. She did know him well. He did win.

"Pan, I don't own you, love does not work that way and neither does a Sayian bond."

"How do we know?" she asked.

Ughh, she's driving me crazy he said to himself….

"I don't, I don't know what will happen, but I am not going to force you either way. You do what you have to do and I will do what I must to give you that. That's the only thing I know."

"Trunks" she said softly.

He held the phone to his ear. He missed having her near him. It had never been this strong and he knew why. They could talk all day and in the end she must do what she wanted and planned for. He wasn't going to cajole her either.

"Pan, I love you. Goodnight"

He hung the phone up. His heart squeezed tightly…

He should just fly over there and kiss her senseless…. If he thought he could without making her feel guilty, he would have. He knew the more he saw her the more he would want her near him and he doubted if he could even stand to know she would leave to go to school. The early pangs of the bond were such….

I have to leave, He thought. That was the only way to cool his thoughts and emotions; and to give Pan her time.