AYB-fic – My take on the intro, with a twist.

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The ship had grown almost unbearably hot, and the lights flickered on and off as the generators struggled to work under increasing stress.

The crew, tired, jittery and more than a little scared, hurried around, checking systems for functionality and trying to isolate the problem.

"We must have been sabotaged; it looks like it could have been a bomb!"

"We're getting a signal!"

"Get the system ID, it could be a virus." Enough had gone wrong already today.

"I can't—"

No-one had given approval, but the main display activated. The image of a man began to form on the display – ionised atoms held in a rigid pattern, onto which a picture could be projected. Several voices rose in surprise or anger, but the Captain stood, shocked voice cutting through the babble,

"It's you!"

The holographic image was complete; the man's one eye met the captain's, before sweeping the tableau in front of him: everyone on the deck had stopped what they were doing to look at the green-haired figure in front of them, but flames licked at computer equipment and the lights flickered on and off. The main equipment: the projector that displayed Cats, the life support and navigational systems that kept the ship running, were all ran on back- up power, and safe from failure for a while.

But even the back-up power was working to its limit, and the rest of the ship was in critical danger.

Cats knew this. Cats had won, and he'd savour his victory.

"How are you gentlemen?"

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The director stood. His eyes narrowed into a glare as the villain spoke again.

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"All your base are belong to us. You have no—"

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The lighting cut completely, then returned to normal. The atmospheric half-light and the glow of fire had vanished, and the zig-carrier now looked a lot less like a critically damaged space ship and a lot more like a set in a movie.

Which was appropriate, as that was exactly what it was.

An irate director stepped into the room.

"CATS!"

He always did this... did he think it was funny?