Chapter 4: Everything Changes

"Because, I'm… pregnant…"

The words dance thickly around my skull, sending my thoughts reeling into nothingness. Keiko was pregnant. A soon-to-be mother; Yuusuke, a father… How could this have possibly happened without my prior knowledge? Surely someone must have known, or, at least had an inkling as to what was going on. Or, had they all truly lost touch with each other since that night so long ago at the shore? Was this truly news to everyone?

I sigh heavily, pushing my wind-chapped hands deeper into the warm confines of my jacket pockets, as I walk on. The cool night is painful in comparison with the Ramen-ya, and I almost regrethaving takenmy leave. Not just leave of the warm, snug building—perfect protection against the bitter, razor-laced winds of encroaching night—either. But also leave of my friends.

Yet, even as the thought trickles into my head, like an ill-elicited drop of seawater dripping through dammed and bursting floodgates, I know better than to dwell on it. A painful, desperate trickle was not enough to worry, and I had long-since closed my gates so that no idle memories would break me.

It'sbeen far too long…

I have no right to feel regretful, and the inclination is none-too-becoming in itself, I remind myself. After all, for all that I felt now, it was my choice. It was I who had left. It was I who had cut ties to Tokyo and left in search of a 'new' me. All that I feel now is my fault; and as such, I have no right to regret. For, as they say: "Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." And I quite believe, that in spite of how I may feel now, upon my return, it's best that I did as I did. For, who's to know what may have come otherwise?

I shake my head slowly, stifling a yawn with the back of my hand. As if on cue, the droning chime of the clock in the Town Square goes off. Its echoing tones carried well through town, though I stood far from its initial location. I check my watch, startled when I realize the time. It's already well past eleven.

"It looks as though time still runs away without me, even after all of these years." I sigh tiredly, offering myself a condoling chuckle.

I hadn't intended to leave as late as I had. In fact, my initial purpose was to make my mandated appearance, and excuse myself thereafter. Yet, I couldn't bring myself to leave in such a light. The years between us had changed us all, no doubt, and we all readily agreed that too much time had passed. So when the opportunity presented itself before us, we took it. The chasms time cast between us all are still far from closing, but tonight was a start. A start I sorely need in wake of the last ending… And, I was sure that, after this evening, the chasm would only shrink.

Stopping at the curb, I glance around. The iron rails running through the street were deserted, meaning I had missed the evening streetcar. The next one, according to the schedule plastered up on the streetlight, wasn't due until twelve thirty, and I felt no inclination to wait.

I cross the street slowly. Luckily, the neighborhood hadn't changed beyond the point of recognition since my leave, and I knew my relative location. Just beyond the primary school on the next block, sat Mother's house.

She wouldn't mind the intrusion, and surely not a visit. I hadn't been to town for almost a year, after all. I called Mother often enough, of course; her new cell phone made it easier to talk to her. But, I knew it wasn't the same. And, I did miss her.

Making up my mind, I smile slightly, in spite of myself. Perhaps Ikura-san had been right. The trip home could be just what the doctor had ordered. Besides Yuusuke, Keiko, Kuwabara, Yukina… they weren't the only ones I had to rebuild bridges for. Now would be the perfect opportunity for me to set to work on the task.

Continuing down the block, I can see the corner of Mother's house, my old house, peeking around the curb. Yet, at the familiar sight, my heart merely clenches. Something did not look right. In fact, something looked terribly wrong.

"Don't fool yourself." I told myself steadily, my walk quickening instinctively. Surely, it was just the distance. I was still a fair way from the house. It could just be my eyes trying to fool me. There was no need to jump to unnecessary conclusions.

Yet, in the few minutes it had taken me to close the distance between the house, and myself I knew something was wrong.

The house was not the same. The house I had lived in and loved as a child had changed. The house Mother and I had painstakingly taken care of, was no longer there. The white drywall, that had accented my sprawling garden beautifully, had been replaced with a painful shade of pale violet. And, the garden itself, aside from a row of Calla Lilies, I realized, had been uprooted, and grass seed had been laid in its place. Another new addition, I saw, was an annexed garage, on the far side of the house.

The heart in my chest beat painfully, thrumming like a miniature drum in my ears. Something was terribly, horribly amiss.

"Perhaps…" I am surprised at the coarseness, and restrictedness of my voice as it slips from my lips. "… Perhaps, she and Hatanaka merely changed some things…"

I shake my head determinately after a few more minutes of gazing at the house. There was one way to get to the root of this. I cross the threshold quietly, pulling myself up the steps of the foyer. After a brief hesitation, I push the doorbell.

Was that another new addition? I don't recall one being there as a child.

A few minutes pass, in which the unease in me had escalated to the point where I could feel a hot rush in my veins. Youko was also getting anxious, it seemed.

Then, slowly, the door creaked open. Yet, the person I had been expecting to open the door wasn't there. My eyes widen slightly in surprise.

"Can I help you?" Asks the woman standing in front of me from behind the half-opened door. Her voicesoundstired and annoyed.

Rightfully so, I suppose.

"Oh—no, I'm sorry." I utter a hurried apology and incline my head slightly. "I must have gotten the wrong address. Forgive me, ma'am."

The woman grumbles something under her breath, that I can't quite distinguish, and slams the door so loudly that the stained glass panel above shudders violently.

Shocked, I step numbly from the foyer, my feet feelingof leadand cumbersome beneath me as I descend the steps, and retreat toward the safety of the sidewalk. At least it hadn't changed.

But, apparently several other things had.

"What on Earth has happened here?" I ask myself dryly, my fingers working methodically on my temples to relieve the painful pressure rising in a tight knot in the base of my head. I close my eyes, concentrating on the painful throbbing of my skull. "What did I miss?"

How could so much have happened in the span of a single year? It seemed impossible. And yet, here it was: A wedding, and pregnancy, an engagement, family moving on… Nothing had remained the same. It was business as usual. Life had gone one without me; whether I was there or not.

"But, why wouldn't Mother have told me?" I did little to hide the pain in my tone as I asked myself this. It made no sense.

Reaching into my coat pocket, I withdrew my wallet. It was a gift Mother had given me years ago, at the tender age of thirteen. She had told me it belonged to my dear, late father before the heart attack had claimed him. I've carried it with me everywhere.

I rummage through the leather folds carefully, pushing aside idle bills and withdraw a small amount of change. Just enough for a phone call and a rail pass. Perfect.

Standing up, and replacing my wallet, I stretch tiredly. The metal bench I employed left me feeling stiff and sore. Stretching while I walk, my back cracks and I twist in discomfort, my shoulders relaxing as the tension lessens.

"Good evenin' sir." The man behind the ticket desk gives me a toothless smile, his wizened face contorting into a mess of wrinkles at the gesture.

"And to you as well." I reply, offering a pallid smile.

"Where ya off to at this time o' the night, sonny? Shouldn't ya be at home with the missus?"

As much as idle his chitchat annoyed me, the man had such a heartened sincerity about him that I felt it in my best graces to humor him. "Just visiting friends, sir. I came in from Keifuku earlier today."

"Visitin' and you're leavin' already? Gee boy, that's a quick visit."

"Yes sir. Well, work calls, you understand." I answer, finding it rather difficult to keep my voice amiable.

"O' course, sonny. So, where to?" He granted me another wide grin.

"Another one-way ticket to Keifuku, on the JR Tokaido line to Kyoto please."

He nodded and turned to his computer, submitting my requested information. Within a minute, a ticket materialized from the slot on the desktop and he pulled it out for me.

"Thank you, and take care, sir." I nod slightly, handing him money for the ticket, and turn back toward the platform.

"Have fun sonny!"

I shake my head, suppressing the chuckle that had risen in the pack of my throat. Such a curious old man he was.

The rail schedule next to the platform was nothing short of billboard-sized, and I searched for my rail line for several minutes before finding it on the list. After looking over the information, and checking my watch, which now read quarter after one, I nodded to myself.

"That gives me about ten or so minutes." I mumble, stifling another yawn as I head towards the pay phone on the other end of the platform.

I insert the remainder of my small change into the coin slot and wait for the dial tone to sound. After a moment, I dial Mother's number. As I wait for it to pick up and ring, and for her to answer, agitation gnaws on my nerve ends.

How could she not have said anything? I am her son, after all. Has something happened? Why have I been left out of the proverbial loop? What's going on?

On the fifth ring, her voice mail picks up, and I hear her familiar voice: "Shuuichi, how does this—Oh! It's on! Um… this is Shiori, I'm not in right now. Please leave a message, and I'll get back—" Then the beep sounded, cutting off the remainder of her message.

For a moment, I stay silent. Not quite sure of what I want to say, or how to say it. Part of me wishes to be angry, and voice the betrayal I felt, but at the same time I was just worried; worried about what might have happened. After wracking my brains—and successfully bringing back my migraine—I took a deep breath and spoke.

"Mother, it's me, Shuichi. I was in town today to hear Keiko and Yuusuke's big news. I'm sure you've heard already. I was planning to stay until Sunday afternoon, to spend some time in Tokyo after such a long absence, but I thought better of it. I have work and finals to prepare for, after all. I'm not doing badly in Kyoto myself, though I do miss Tokyo occasionally. I wanted to come see you and Hatanaka, and to apologize for not coming home sooner. I've truly missed you, Mother. But, when I dropped by the… old house… I guess you weren't there. You should have said something, Mother. I would have been done to help you move and get settled in. But, I guess it's not your fault. I lost contact. With everyone. I'm sorry. I'd like to see you all again soon, but I don't think it best if I came back to Tokyo for a while. You understand, don't you? I'm sorry…. I love you, Mother… Goodbye."

I hang up.

Returning to the bench, I sat and waited in resigned silence for the migraine to dissipate and for the train to pull in. I had a few minutes left to dwell on all that went on today.

"I just can't believe it." I sigh, resting my head in my hands as I massaged my forehead with my palms.

So much had changed in such a small space of time. Yuusuke had grown so much; not physically, but mentally and emotionally. He would make a splendid father when the time came. And Keiko, she had matured too. She and Yuusuke both, would make wonderful parents. Even Kazuma—he had really buckled down and was working to make something of himself. So different from when we were younger.

Nothing has stayed the same. Friends hadn't, life most certainly hadn't, and since I had left Tokyo, my own family hasn't either. The only thing wholly unchanged, because no one knows for sure what happened to him, was Hiei. He was still a reclusive, ningen-hating bastard, just as always. But, to his credit, even he had left. He had gone to Makai, with no guarantee of his return.

"It seems that everyone has moved on without me."

Shall I be forever impervious to the natural flow of time?

Rumbling in the distance snaps me to my senses, and I raise my head sharply. Sweeping carmine strands of hair from my face, I can see the train pulling into the station and nearing my platform. I stand up; weary, as the train stops.

The doors open and people flood the platform, bustling off the crowded train, eager to get on with their lives. I wait respectfully for the swarm to recede, and then pull myself onto the train.

"I suppose it's for the best that they moved on with their lives." I tell myself, casting a last fleeting glance out upon the platform before the doors slide shut behind me.

"It's not my home any longer…"

It really wasn't.

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Author's Ramblings: I know it's been awhile since the last chapter. So, I forgive you if you've forgotten this story. But, things have been really, really hectic around here, even with the let out of school for the summer.

Anyways, what did you think? I know it's sort of a pointless chapter, but it's a good reason to keep Kurama out of Tokyo for how long I need, so just deal with me, ne? Opinions are greatly appreciated. Constructive criticism, critiques, evne flames (used to make s'mores -). Just leave your name at the door, honest opinions intact, ne? And I'll promise to have chapter 5 up a lot more quickly than this one.

Blackrose