If Lord ALW was a beach bum or watched a copious amount of “Baywatch” this is what he would have written. Companion to “Past the Point of Tax Return”.

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In sleep he swam to me,

With buoys he came,

The whistle with calls to me,

He screams my name,

And am I drowning again,

For now I find,

The Lifeguard of the Opera,

Is saving me.

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Swim once again to me,

You’re in too deep,

For on your rubber raft,

You fell asleep,

And though you can’t float,

Because you’re too thin,

The Lifeguard of the Opera,

Shall save your skin.

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Though I ride a raft,

I cannot steer,

I see the sunlotion you wear,

It’s my whistle you hear,

And I am I drowning again,

For now I see,

The Lifeguard of the Opera,

Is saving me.

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They’re here, the sharks are in the water!

They’re here, the sharks are in the water!

SWIM TO SAFETY!

AHHHHHHHHH!

AHHHHHHHHH!

-reaches decibel level rivaling the whistle-