AN: This is the last of what was previously written. I did alter this slightly from the original, which was written as more of a PWP than a story. So, from this chapter on updates will probably be less frequent. This chapter was inspired by a drawing by SDink of Studio Dink. Thank you for the reviews, I appreciate it! I apologize for any editing errors, I should refrain from writing impromptu stories on forums. It typically leads to a proofreading nightmare later.

I should have also added to the disclaimer earlier that this particular piece of fanfiction is based more upon events in the novel thanthe game Dynasty Warriors. Characterizations are a medley of DW games 2-5, ROTK, Kessen, Dynasty Tactics, as well as the novel and historical biographies and of course my own twisted interpretations. The OC is based on an obscure mention in Mengqi’s SGZ biography and is completely historically inaccurate.

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Ma Chao’s Wrath

Chapter 11

Keeping the Faith

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I stormed into my room with my fists clenched. I had never been so angry in my life; it wasn’t my nature to lose my temper. If I had been capable of thinking clearly I would have seen that…but I was still enraged. I looked around the room, searching for my small bag of things. I made a quick decision and I was going to ride back and fight with Pang De. He deserved my help…but I was sworn to protect Ma Chao. I briefly became torn about my emotions, and then I heard a creak of the floor board. I whipped around knowing who it was and sneered. “I should have known. You hate hearing the truth.”

“You have no idea what the truth is.” Ma Chao stood in the doorway and gave me a savage glare. The red glow of the setting sun illuminated the hallway through the paper shades of the window and it provided an eerie backdrop to my furious lord.

I looked at his smoldering eyes and laughed. How I ever grew so bold, I still cannot explain, but I laughed at him none-the-less. A mocking laugh, even worse, followed by a few bitter words, “I understand you better than you think. All those years following you, how could I not? All you care for is revenge and you don’t care who has to die to get you there…even more of your family.”

“Are you insinuating that I sacrificed my family to get to Cao Cao?” He took a step closer, entering the room.

“No! Do you even listen to what people say, or do you manipulate it to serve your own purpose? You’re only focused on one thing and you so quickly forget your responsibility to the living.” I looked him over and a warm breeze blew through the room. I wasn’t in the path of it, but my lord was. He stood as still as a mountain as the wind played with his long auburn hair and thin green silk robe. Reflecting upon that moment I wish I could have been more appreciative of the sight, he was gorgeous while still being incredibly menacing. Often, after he had shed his armor for the night, he would tie up his hair with a lone white ribbon and somehow always missed about a dozen rouge strands of hair that would fall over his face or curl around his neck. Now with the help of the wind those tassels were blowing across his face and chest while the main body of his pony tail was fluttering behind him like a flag. It only made his expression far more intense. While his hair moved with a life of its own, his face seemed carved in stone. Dark eyebrows furrowed, light hazel eyes shaded between his angry squint, nostrils flaring betraying the storm underneath the still exterior, full lips pressed together until they drained of their rosy color and finally the clenched jaw.

“I heard what you said. That I am the one responsible for the death of my entire family, you made that very clear.” His voice was cold as ice and his words escaped his lips with a slight hiss.

Another whorl of wind entered the room and took command of his lightweight robe. He was motionless and allowed the robe to slip off his left shoulder and his heaving chest was revealed. I had seen it before, even felt it upon my own skin, but now it was more intimidating. Those hard pectorals and defined abs were no longer a sight to be beheld, but weapons to be used against me. The robe slipped further down his arm and his massive biceps were displayed and my nerves finally began to override my anger. I backed up involuntarily still trying to hold his gaze but now equally disturbed by his frigid voice and formidable body. Ever the warrior, he saw my hesitation immediately. Ma Chao began to close the distance between the two of us and I struggled to reply, “Your actions speak volumes. As always you rush into battle and leave others to catch up when as a general you should be protecting them.”

“I always took you for being an intelligent woman, I see now that I was wrong.”

“Why? Because I chose to follow you?” I took a deep breath as he rushed the last few feet and pinned me to the wall. I slammed into the solid wood and the wind was briefly knocked from my lungs.

“You so desperately want to know my rationale?” He growled in my ear.

I swallowed hard. Having his whole body pressed against me and his vicious eyes so close….it made the warm moist breath of his feel like fire. I know I had do something, I was now in a very precarious position and I knew his power. Accidents happened when he lost his temper and I didn’t want to be a casualty so I used the only option available. I quickly raised my knee between his legs, going for a cheap shot, but as I neared my target he clamped his muscular thighs together and I squeaked. Of all the generals I had to try and knee in the balls, I had to be with the one that spent the most time in the saddle. His bone crushing strength made my femur scream in protest. I grunted as his forehead pressed to mine and forced my head back against the wall.

“What the hell is it that you want? The execution you narrowly escaped before?”

I had no other option than to be drawn into his savage glare. The light of the candle beside me reflected in his orbs and the dancing flame added to the horror of the situation. I struggled but only worked myself into a worse position. His grip tightened and my thigh slipped further into the vice-grip between his legs. My own breath was rapid, a combination of the struggling and panic that was over-coming me, and it heightened my senses. I now felt those renegade strands of his hair sticking to my own sweat-coated cheeks. “I want to know the man I swore my life to protecting isn’t as vile as the man he’s hunting.”

That was the wrong answer and I knew it. His body tensed and he ground his teeth, I squeaked as he leaned closer. Barely audible he whispered, “Then go serve him.”

I winced as he dropped me and looked up at the impressive warrior before me. I knew how to deliver news to him, I had always been the one to notify him of anything gone awry in battle. This was much more important. If I did care for him as much as I thought I wouldn’t be attacking him. Not now. Not like this. “I’d never leave you, my life is yours. You know that. I wish that you could act like it had more value.”

He cocked an eyebrow and tried to digest what I had said. Before he could reply I gave him something else to think on.

“Especially where Dai is concerned. He’s all you have left and he idolizes you! Why is it that when we look at how Cao Cao treats Xu Zhu and Xiahou Dun we wonder what we don’t have that makes us so expendable? Especially now, after you abandoned Pang De, we would rather die fighting for you than to die knowing we’ve been tossed away.”

I sat hunched against the wall and watched him practically melt at my statement. His face softened and he no longer maintained his battle stance. Confused and disturbed by what I was saying he turned away from me. “Pang De knew how much you and Dai meant to me…he knew that you two would suffer the worst when we lost. The enemy would see you both died horribly and I couldn’t let that happen. You two would have never accepted that and would have fought any way, it was the only way to keep what little I had. Pang De sacrificed himself because he knew if he surrendered they’d recruit him…and we’d be far enough away to see another day. You think I didn’t fight him? You think I just agreed to that? There wasn’t another option. You see what happens to the people I care about, Xin Qian, I can’t let that happen again. Not a third time. ”

Now it was my turn to be silent. Once again I had failed him, unable to support him in his time of need, except this time I felt like a traitor. How had I lost faith? Wasn’t that my job to the very end? Guilt forced me to look down at the floor. Here he was admitting that I meant something to him and all I wanted to do was insult his decisions. He needed help now, not criticism, especially after failing to protect his wife and family. I was not worth of protecting him and at this point I questioned if I was even worthy of dying by his hand.