Author: Gene Kelly PM
You picked tonight to play the part of the Hero. You picked tonight to prove yourself. But you had always been worthy in my eyes. [HrRW. Final Battle Musings Void of Cheesy Fluff. R&R]Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Angst/Romance - Words: 795 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11-14-05 - Status: Complete - id: 2661057
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-Disclaimer: I own nothing. Not even the song lyrics. So don't sue!
The autumn days swung soft around me, like cotton on my skin
But as the embers of the summer lost their breath and disappeared
My heart went cold and only hollow rhythms resounded from within
But then he rose, brilliant as the moon in full
And sank in the burrows of my keep
And all my armour falling down, in a pile at my feet
And my winter giving way to warm, as I'm singing him to sleep –Fiona Apple
I cradled him in my arms, the sky threatening to open up and crash. I was silent; my brain working much faster than my mouth could ever cooperate. And all around me, I felt the aftermath of the unfortunate event that had just occurred. It weighed down upon my shoulders like a bag of bricks; it swiped at my face like icy fingernails lazily scraping down a slab of cement.
I allowed my gaze to ponder his eyes, the splattering of freckles across the bridge of his nose, marvel about the way he gave off the illusion of tranquility. The mud would surely stain my pants and the threat of rain was an unavoidable prophecy. And yet, I remained in my spot, glued to that piece of ground, cradling him in my arms, the overflow of emotions leaving me numb.
My passion had quickly transformed into stoic silence. I was a walking corpse, as lifeless and limp as the bodies littered around me. We were trapped in a sea of death and decay and yet, all I was able to recall were his last moments of life. His laugh echoed in the back of my mind, proposing to strangle whatever sanity I had salvaged. And I could feel him, I could feel his essence and his spirit, but his vitality had been demolished, leaking into the air like acid from a punctured battery. I was drowning and my only life line had been cut.
I caressed his hair, that mop of unruly, ginger locks. I pressed my nose into it, breathed in his scent, for I knew this would be the last time. And I felt my defenses drop to the floor, like chain mail slithering to concrete. I only wanted to fall into eternal sleep, shut my eyes and yield to the cold. I stroked his cheeks, felt the soft texture of his miles and miles of smooth skin flow under the pads of my fingers.
I'd waited…I'd waited for so long to confess the unchanging words that were imprinted on my heart, the very words that would force themselves to the tip of my tongue but never reveal themselves. Forever chained to their disguise of indifference and frustration, I had frequently allowed the perfect opportunities to slip away. And now all I had was him, lying in my arms, his eyes shut, his lips parted, awaiting a kiss that would never come.
The sky was about to open up and cry, but I was completely oblivious to my surroundings. I yearned to shake and scream, unravel the knotted and tightly coiled ball of remorse and zealous regret that had wrapped itself around every fiber of my being.
Why'd you have to jump in front of me? Why? You always wanted to prove yourself, prove that you weren't just the sidekick.
You shouldn't have picked today to play the part of Hero, love. You should have stayed away, far away. You should have escaped, ran as fast as you could. You should haven't have shunned the temptation of cowardly resistance.
Because I needed you. I still need you. You have always been worthy in my eyes. It was your pride that devoured your sensibility. You idiot, oh you foolish boy. Didn't you know that your self-sacrifice was a gift with purely vain intentions?
And somehow, I can't build up the strength to hate you for this action, because I'm too distracted by the way my heart is aching, the way it's breaking, the way it's crumbling inside my chest, cracking and fracturing like an old city street during a monstrous earthquake.
I let my lips drift over his nose and then linger beside his ear.
"Ronald Weasley…I'll never forget you."
I pull back and study my slain Prince Charming and shudder. For a moment, I almost believe that I see him smile.