Disclaimer: I don't own them, DW does and man is he one lucky guy….

Warning: This is an Olivia Benson/Rebecca Hendrix story, if you don't like it, don't read it

AN: This is for you Lindz, who asked me to do this and I hope its ok!

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Olivia sat on her couch curled with a sweater in her hands, her knees up to her chest. She could hear the TV in the back round but wasn't paying much attention to it. She was to busy thinking, to busy daydreaming about a certain someone in a lab coat.

She smiled when a picture of her in her lab coat came into her mind, she licked her lips. "You don't know how good you look in that coat Becca" she said with a sigh, she was thinking of her again.

She knew if she didn't stop it would make her go crazy but by god she hated that woman so much she loved her still.

She pulled her legs closer to her, she was going to sit here all night if she wanted and she was going to think about Rebecca, the woman she could never have.

There was some of the best times of Olivia's life spent with Rebecca and then some of the worst fights she's ever had with Rebecca, but she loved it all.

She pulls the dark red sweater close to her, sniffing it and rubbing her face in its still soft, yet worn fabric. Rebecca had bought her this, years ago when they were in the academy, she said the colour looked good on her.

So Olivia used the last of her money and went out and bought Rebecca a purple one, saying she loved her in purple.

"You spring cleaning?" she remembers saying that as she and Elliot walked into her office, to see her packing box after box with her things. Her heart seemed to start breaking into little pieces again at the sight of the boxes.

"Seems I've lost my privileges here" she could still hear Rebecca's sad voice in her head. She wasn't sure if Rebecca was sad because of her license maybe taken away, or the fact that she had to leave Olivia again.

She is actually sad to see her go, again for the second time in her life. She may of hated to see her come back and then Elliot let her jump right into the middle of there case, but she didn't want to her go now.

She hated to admit it to herself as she stood with Elliot in her office, but by god she looked hot in that skirt with the slit in the front, and that shirt!

Olivia smiled remembering when they were in the Academy; Rebecca always liked the colour purple. They had spent two good years of there life doing what they both loved learning how to be a cop.

But then Olivia's heart broke, when after two years she left to become a shrink, leaving Olivia at the Academy alone.

It was a few days after the thing in the office Olivia got home to see a flashing red light on her answering machine.

"Oh this better be good and not those damn telemarketers" she said kicking off her shoes before pushing the button and letting the message play as she walked to get a drink.

"You have two messages-beep-Olivia, hi it's me Rebecca, I know you probably don't want to hear me right now but I have to tell you this, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for leaving again, but I'm not sad about Bellevue I have something new, it's private and I can't get in shit for something like what I did today, or at least I hope I can't" Rebecca's soft laugh filled Olivia's apartment and warmed her hurting heart.

"So I'm just letting you know I won't be back and I hope your ok, and don't worry it's not your fault with the hospital…I did what I wanted so it's ok" Rebecca said "ok I have to go now, but if everything works I'll give you a call and let you know where I am, if you still want to know that is" and then the message ended.

"Second message -beep- hey Olivia's I'm just letting you know that I can't make it Sunday night, my mom phoned and is coming down, I'm so sorry…maybe we can do it another time ok I'm really sorry, I have to go now my moms at the door" Casey said and she nodded as she put her glass down.

That was ok that Casey canceled on her, she was happy the young ADA got to spend some time with her mother, it's not she got to see her a lot.

She came out of her haze to hear the phone ringing; she reached to the coffee table and picked it up. "Hello?" she said into it "yea sure Casey, tonight's fine, no I wasn't doing anything" except thinking of you Becca.

"Sure how about that place down on 23rd, you know the one with all the plants and trees…sure meet you there" she hung up and sighed happily with a smile.

Now she wasn't going to be here alone to think of her, she was going out with Casey for drinks, as it was there 'girl's night' that Casey had canceled. She got up from the couch and picked up the sweater, bringing it with her as she walked to her room to change.

She pulled off her shirt and hung her sweater back up, she went through her closet and smiled pulling out a purple blouse. She ran her fingers over it softly before taking it off the hanger and pulling it over her head.

She brushed her hair, brushed her teeth again and put on more mascara before grabbing her keys and her purse and walking out her front door.

"I wear purple to remind me of you, to let me feel your with me even through I know your not" she said softly before closing the door, locking it behind her ready to spend the night taking and laughing with Casey.