Disclaimer: PotC is Disney's. The three boys and story ideas are mine. Just to clarify, the attack on Port Madison occurred three years before CotBP, but the characters are telling it at a point in time after CotBP.

Epilogue: Jack Finishes the Tale

What's all this? Mister Charles Mercer! Yes, you, the one with a raised fist and one shoe, leave Jon's face alone. I won't have you bloodying the cobblestones with undue, undeserved, and—that's nonsense, everyone's afraid of their mothers, that's what they're there for, frightening little snips of things such as yourselves into respectable young men. Not that it always works…

Sssh! Sssh! Sssh! SHUT IT! It's bad enough when you caused havoc on my Pearl. Now, you're sullying what was a perfectly disrespectable visit to Port Madison. I ruined your story? Hah! Calumnious lies!

What was the subject of said tale? Barbossa's attack on Port Madison. Hm.I supposes you'll want me to include your parts in it seeing as how these listeners have heard it from you lot first. How far along?

All right, well, unlike these three I was not present at the aforementioned proceedings. I was after that traitorous, bony, codfish, Barbossa's blood at the time, not knowing he was already paying for the sin of avarice courtesy of cursed Aztec gold. He and his crew had marooned me on a God forsaken, sun-burnt, isle, tearing the Pearl from my hands after obtaining the gold's location.

I suppose now, I should be thanking them. A life without pleasure, not knowing the sweet satisfaction of an apple's crunch or the salty kiss of a mermaid—that's another tale I should get to telling you—or a soft as angel breath breeze on the face, is no life at all. And truth be told, even I wouldn't have wished it on them.

Where were we, oh yes…After setting Barbossa aflame, a sight I would have relished at the time, Oliver, Charlie, and Jon fled the Pearl quick as a pursued cat, beloved apples in arms. Barbossa's skeletal form spat out a command, cursing their names and his men for letting three boys humiliate the crew of the feared Black Pearl.

"Masters Pintel and Ragetti! From now on, we're not having childish dinner guests; we're not having any dinner guests until we find Bootstraps' spawn and give him his final meal! Now, get off my deck and join your pathetic excuses of crewmates!"

Meanwhile, Charlie and Jon were being dragged back home by their mothers unaware a crew of undead pirates were in pursuit.

"Sneakin' off in the middle of the night!" scolded Mrs. Mercer a grip strong as any iron shackle on her boy's arm.

"Nearly killin' me with worry, you ungrateful thing," sighed Mrs. Green pulling on Jon's collar, "how many times have I told you them pirates will give you vegetables? How many times?"

"I'm sorry, mum…"

"Really, Jon? Crying to yer—"

"You be quiet, Charles!" snarled Mrs. Mercer. "You're probably the reason he has to go apologizing to his mother! Why don't you ever apologize to me?"

"'Cause you wouldn't believe me any—OWWW! Okay, okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

"But, mum, we were taken by pirates," began Jon. Mrs. Green put a hand over heart and kneeled down to look into her boy's eyes. "Oh, oh, Jonathan! Charles and Oliver have finally done it! They've addled your brains!" She pulled Jon close to her bosom, kissing him fretfully on the head.

What? That's what you told me she did. No questioning your former Captain, Jon! Sssh.

"What d'ya mean, my Charles addled his brains?" said Mrs. Mercer sharply relinquishing her grip on Charlie's shoulder. "What, just 'cause you serve some fancy lady, your boy is better than mine?"

Mrs. Green pushed Jon away, rising to her full height, hands on hips, chin tilted up. "Your boy?Your little crim-in-al,"—she dragged each syllable out—, "and his ratty little red-headed friend have been corrupting my boy ever since you and your drunken sailor of a husband came here!"

"Always trying to be clean, as if a little speck of dirt was going to spoil your child, at least my boy can defend himself," said Mrs. Mercer patting Charles on the head. "What can your's do? Write an angry letter?"

"What's fighting going to do for him?"said Mrs. Green circling Mrs. Mercer like a dog. "Get him killed, that's what!"

Charlie and Jon backed away—right into skeletal hands. They looked up to see ol' wooden eyed, skinny, ol' what's his face, and stout, balding even in skeletal form, Pintel, swords in hand.

The two boys looked at each other, gulped and screamed, "MUM!"

The two ladies turned, their fiery energy turning with them, they stared at the skeletal pirates as if they were as threatening as a dead fish they were ready to gut and serve for supper. The two skeletal pirates glanced at each other, tightening their grip on their swords.

"I'm sorry, dearie, for accusing you." said Mrs. Green. The two women strode forward.

"Bless his heart!" smiled Mrs. Mercer, "Jon was only trying to warn us…If only Charles was as considerate…"

"No, no, Charles probably defended, my Jon."

The two pirates grabbed the two boys and lowered their swords near their throats as they began walking backwards. Pintel smiled, "Now, now, ladies, you wouldn't want anything to happen to these two, would you?"

Mrs. Mercer elbowed a running skeletal pirate holding an armful of swag in the head and ripped the skeletal arm still holding a sword from him. Mrs. Green tripped another unfortunate skeletal looter and took his boarding axe.

"Parley?" grinned Ragetti backing into a wall. Mrs. Mercer growled and Mrs. Green said, "We don't speak, French, dear."

"Did you hear that, Ragetti?" said Pintel. "They don't speak French. Sorry for the inconvenience." The two pirates shoved the boys back towards their mothers. "We was after two little French speaking boys."

The two women walked around their sons. Mrs. Mercer freed the sword from the detached skeletal arm, threw the arm aside, and pointed the sword at the two pirates. She didn't look back as she said, "Boys, go home."

Charlie and Jon acquiesced, running all the way, only stopping to let Oliver join them and wave at his parents who were shoving a skeletal capuchin monkey into a barrel and tossing a skeletal dreadlocked pirate into the path of an empty flaming carriage pulled by a team of horses.

While chaos prevailed that night in Port Madison, three boys were able to scrape by unscathed. Unfortunately, their appetite for adventure had not been sated and they stowed away onto a merchant ship. A series of events occurred that later found them aboard the Pearl under my captaincy, but that is a rather more complicated tale to tell.

Try looking up one Joshamee Gibbs if you should ever find yourself on Tortuga. He would take far more pleasure in telling that one than—

Ah, I recognize the sound of black boots and barked orders. Farewell, and remember this as the day you were told a tale by Captain Jack Sparrow!

Author's Note: Despite my sporadic updates, I hope you have enjoyed reading and reviewing this story. Special thanks to Arquenniel and WayLowHalo for reviewing most of the chapters. :D