The Snark of St. Greg

Chapter 18

And it came to pass that the Profit Margin did wake up from the weekend bender, and didst make bail, and fulfill the condition of her probation and take a second job and pay all the fines and perform all the hours for community service and did faithfully swear she would never do the 'bad thing' again.1

And the cops didst reluctantly giveth her back internet access.2

And The Profit Margin didst finally catch up on the adventures of one Dr. House and say unto herself, "Yea verily, I'd best sum uppeth."3

And The Arch Nemesis Michael was smacketh down by St. Greg/StCuddy – who both didst lieth like a rug in court.4 And the Shored did leave openeth a way foreth Tritter to be written into the House story again, becauseth he doth enjoy messingeth with our minds.5

St. Cuddy of the Fabulous Woo Woos was still not knockethed up.6

And the Apostles Cameron and Chase didst doeth it like floppy-eared rodents in the Janitorial Closet, thus making the Very Secret Journals totally canon.7

And Foreman didst get overeth the whole Black/White thang and just kicketh butt as a doctor whilst St. Wilson of the Eternal Optimism, did attempt to getteth House to take it downeth a few notches narcotically. And didst fail miserably.8

And St. Greg did fake having the Big C for to getteth a humougous buzz and causeth much consternation, resulting in an awkward Chast hug and Cameron wantingeth to pricketh House and Cuddy getting her butt gropethed.9

And Dave Matthews did pop by, and so the multitude of spiffy celebrity types, for unto the third season didst the world grasp that House was the "in" show that didst put the nail into the coffin of vileness known as "reality" TV. 10

Blessed is the Shored! Halleuberriah! 11

And the Cameronites and the Cuddyites and the Wilsonites and the Stacyites didst continues their general whining and bitching and moaning and in-fighting and backstabbing and capslocking unto the end of time and space when the Shored shall finally ended the series just to shutteth them up and whereth, in the final episode, House wilst runneth off with a limber Japanese janitor – which noone will seeth coming, least of all that tool, Chris Carter (aka X-Files II? What the Fucketh art thou thinking of? That wast so ten years agoeth!) 11

Yea verily. 12

Here endeth the lesson.13

Hence the cause of the aforementioned weekend bender, which hath caused so much of mine naughtiness in the sight of the Shored, yea blearily…14