|The Guide To Being Succsessful
Author: The Kitsune Warrior PM
Selling books can be a difficult bussiness..........you'll sell almost any book to get a bit of cash.............even books on making cash......you wouldn't bother reading it though would you?Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor - Tails & Sonic - Words: 1,090 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Published: 12-01-05 - Status: Complete - id: 2684683
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Here's something I whipped up during my English exam
Disclaimer: I do not own sonic and co. They are owned by SEGA. I only own Orbin And Vixen…and they aren't even in this fic.The Guide To Being Succsessful
By The Kitsune Warrior
Sonic and Tails were walking on the beach, taking a break from the usual chores of saving the world from the egg shaped menace, that is Dr. Eggman.
Suddenly…a tall man in a large trench coat covering him from toe to throat, jumped out in front of them, and opened his trench coat to reveal to them what he had.
"Ahh…tails…cover your eyes!"
Tails yelled back in agony "it's too late…I'MMMM BLIIIIND"
"What's he flashing at us?"
"Books" cried tails
"Aaahhhhhh… boooooooooooookkkssssss, get them away from m-"
And sonic realised what was going on. So did tails soon after
"You wanna buy a book?"
"No use to me" sonic said "can't read"
Tails jumped in front of sonic waving around a 20$ note
"Gimme gimme gimme. I can read," yelled tails while jumping up and down like a pogo stick on ecstasy
The trench coated book sales man happily snatched the 20$ note from Tails' paw and in exchange threw a thin yellow book at tails, who caught it and seen the trench coated book sales man run off towards the water
Tails looked at his book and then yelled at the trench coated book sales man "hey…this book isn't worth 20 bucks"
The trench coated book sales man just cackled like an evil witch and ran into the ocean, he went deeper, and deeper, until they couldn't see him anymore
"Um…sonic…what was that all about?"
"Don't ask me…you bought the book"
Tails and sonic sat down on the beach and looked at the book that tails had just bought
"Hey sonic check the title of this book"
'HOW TO BE SUCCSESSFUL IN LIFE'
You want to be successful eh?….well…this book is for you.
Success can mean a lot of different things: like having heaps of cash, a huge mansion, and being married to Miss September of Playboy magazine.
Or it could mean you being happy. Simple as that.
This'll be covering how to get filthy rich.
There's the quick way…and the long hard way.
First of all…the quick way.
STEP 1: make sure your parents are millionaires or are directly related to the royal family of England.
STEP 2: wait until your mother gives birth to you. When you are born, you'll be an instant millionaire, be spoilt rotten as a kid, and when you turn 16, you'll be made vice-president of your father's company. Thus raking in the dough big time.
You could wait until you turn 18 and try to score a jackpot on the lottery, thus making you an instant millionaire.
Ok…that was the quick way……now….THE HARD WAY.
This basically starts at the age of 13. What you need to do is to get a job., usually at a supermarket or something. What you need to do is work really hard. Both at the supermarket…and at school…come on…you really think anyone is going to employ a complete dumba—er..Nevermind
If you've been working, really hard, you'll get noticed by the boss. And hopefully, you'll get promoted. If not…..quit and go to a different. If/when you get promoted, you'll earn higher pay. Your current goal of promotion would be assistant manager. So whenever the manager is away. You become the manager. Your job is to make the manager stay away from work for as long as possible. Use any means necessary. Once the board of directors see that you've been working your butt off due to the manager's absence. They'll sack the manager for not being at work. And make you the new manager.
Now that you are the new manager…you get higher pay. Than the assistant manager. Which you will now have to find, since the position is open. But don't let that worry you…
What you have to do now is suck up to the Board of directors. Since most of these guys are old, just wait until one of them retires (or dies). Coz when they do. There will be a position available. If you have been sucking up to the board of directors. They'll probably choose you to fill the seat.
You are now on the board of directors. Your wage will now be higher than ever. But you're not finished yet. You still have to make your way to the vice-president, of the board of directors. How you get there is completely up to you. But once you get there. You have the hardest job of all……..TAKING OVER THE PRESEDENT'S POSITION.
If he is old. Wait for him to retire (or die)…if he still has a few years left in him. I recommend poisoning his lunch with some rat poison or mothballs.
Although…. using this method, there is a possibility that he could recover, through the use of modern medicine. So I suggest hiring. A professional assassin. To snipe him on the way home from work. The assassin might cost a bit… but with your current pay rate, you'll make it back in a week or too…..anyway, with the president gone….you'll be promoted to….PRESEDENT OF THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS.
Congratulations….you now own your own multi-million dollar supermarket chain, and you have money coming at you faster than a male hedgehog on Viagra in the middle of mating season……
ENJOY IT WHILE IT LASTS…. YOU'VE GOT ABOUT TWO YEARS UNTIL YOU ARE LEAGALLY ALLOWED TO RETIRE
Sonic and tails got up after reading the book and sped over to the station square wal-mart…became an employees and soon got promoted, but soon sonic got thrown in the slammer for causing the death of another person…...soon to joined by tails for the exact same reason. So they lived the rest of their miserable lives in station square maximum-security prison.
I hope you liked it…Please R&R as soon as you can…this got be a passing grade for my English exam….YAY 15 out of 20 if you really want to know. XD