Title: Chaotic Mind

By: FrozyEmo (-Frozzy-)
Category: Romance?
Rated: T, because of graphicness in later chapters (violent and sexual content)
Summary: Emotions are easily shattered, then rebuilt. They are fragile, yet strong at the same time. They drown you into oblivion. The burn you into unconsciousness. In your chaotic mind… you just have to let go… (KaiOC, TalaOC)

Important Note: If you find any mistakes in the chapter, as well as the whole story, then please ignore it. I’m not originally English; it’s only my second language through five years, so I’ll be really grateful if you just can ignore it. Thanks.

This story is dedicated to my friend Rising Phoenix

(Check her out. There’s a link in my profile)

Rachel Yun-Xuan Sim was the shy type yet with a fierce temper. She was an average high-school student with average grades and average friends. Basically everything about her was average, besides her unusual Scandinavian looks. Her skin had a faint pale glow to it; the curious eyes were a light grey mixed with onyx, while her hair was a dark chocolate nuance with large curls.

People often tended to forget her in the crowd. Not that she was unworthy acknowledging, she just so easily mingled into the crowd and disappeared. She was as fragile as a withering flower. Emotional to say at last. Words could easily strike her with a brisk force and shatter her defences like wax in a flame. She didn’t break down during them though. It was in the late hours of the night, she allowed the hurt to flow out with her warm tears. Usually, she never got those strikes, due to the constant protection from her friends. She refused to be protected, although she was grateful for it in reluctance.

In a few words she had her pride, stubbornness, fierce temper, shyness and forceful emotionality.

Or just basically… She was average… Just like every other normal human at 17.

It was only when things broke down in front of her, when the solid walls of affirmation and security faltered, when her life looped in the opposite direction, and when she was forced out of the safety of familiarity… that was when hell got loose, that was when her very soul shook in anxiety… At that point, the time had come. The time where her life was about to change, were she stood on the very edge to various paths… When everything changed… When everything became chaos. When she finally gave in, and let it all consume her. When she let the one and only object take over her very presence…

That was when she erupted…

…Erupted into the one and only state of the…

--Chaotic Mind--

(-)

Snowflakes floated in the crispy air. The soft, melting material of it nestled on the dirt, and covered it in a cold layer of thick snow. The trees were hollowly spreading out their dry branches, as if to embrace the winter to the country. Water had frozen into heavy ice and created various places for ice-skating. It was winter. A cold winter.

Hurriedly Rachel scrambled down the hall with these exact pictures in her head. Her bag bounced against her back rather forcefully in her hurry, but she didn’t care. High school was nothing but trouble. Especially being in the second year of it. Barely two years till graduation.

She wasn’t exactly fond of snow. It was cold, clinging and wet, but it still tempted her. She could daze of into content oblivion by gazing at the snowflakes bouncing in the air. It was a calming sight, but it took much effort to enjoy it, when you were victim to the bad sides of it, and having an older brother didn’t exactly help. Any memory she had of snow, she wasn’t what you could call fond of. It wasn’t comprehendible enough for her to confess it verbally though. She still liked the outward beauty in it; she just didn’t like its cold caress.

It was unusual for Rachel to be late, despite the fact she wasn’t exceptionally a perfectionist like others so gracefully were, even though this time she was horribly late. Not just late, but horribly late. It wasn’t by more than a few minutes, although to her it was an eternity.

Growling under her breath, she panted heavily the closer to the edge of exhaustion, she got. If she could just reach him, before he was out of sight. With Tyler gone, he was the last possibility of being her saviour. Her eyes flicked intensely across the faces of the persons, she crossed. How was it even possible for a human being to disappear into a crowd like that?

A hiss of annoyance broke her silent exterior, as Rachel was grabbed by her wrist and stopped in her rush. Preparing a outburst of sheer fury, she stumbled around and jerked her wrist free, just as her irises of vivid, deep grey slid up to connect with dark crimson ones. She drew in a breath of relief at that point, and the frightened gleam in her eyes was replaced by the flick of calmness. She felt the tension leave her body. If she could coax him into helping her, she would only arrive a few minutes late. The hard part was just to convince him.

“Gothie?” she mumbled astonished. The male in front of her narrowed his eyes and glared dryly at her. She arched an eyebrow in question to his odd behaviour, though he only shook his head, and began walking, her following him, manoeuvring her body through the crowd, before reaching him completely.

“How many times do I have to tell my name is Chase, and I’m definitely not a Goth of any kind. As the answer to your first question, that’s how I am, live with it. I have no intentions changing into what you think preferable to your benefit,” he mumbled and glanced down at her fragile form. It was no lie she was short. Most guys, even many girls, towered over her with a good few inches. It took much easier effort to make her intimidated. Not that many people acknowledged her enough to purposely intimidate her. It had always been odd to her, why she was far from the popular ones in school, when she was friends with one of the most handsome guys in school. Perhaps the fact that Chase was cousin to her archenemy, who doubtlessly was…devilishly handsome, had something to do with it. She had stopped wondered though. Her looks didn’t exactly add anything to her benefit. She wasn’t ugly, but she sure wasn’t beautiful or pretty, or those likely terms. The cheerleaders were. Not the outsiders.

“You could at least be a bit friendly against me, besides I thought your real name was David?” Rachel asked teasingly and poked her friends in the ribs. His scowl was replaced by a smirk, and he crossed his arms over his chest, letting out a dark: “Just shut up Rachel.”

“Fine, fine, don’t go spit acid on me. I would’ve left you alone, if I had known you were that grumpy,” she said in offence, but the humour in her voice never faltered. Sighing lightly Rachel reached up casually to twirl a lock of dark hair around her finger. An old habit of comfort. It just made her relax being in Chase’s presence. It was somehow soothing. Many people didn’t find him appealing in other ways than the physical one, but he had always given Rachel the security and safety she needed when broken.

“I stumbled upon Tyler and Lu,” Rachel said slowly, but it ended up in a high-pitched yelp, as Chase suddenly grabbed her by the wrist and guided her away from a crowd of students, she was about to collide brutally with. Rachel huffed at him.

“They were searching for Chris! Do you think he could be with Tala or Kai?”

“The Unbreakable Trio is probably doing something utterly grotesque and nasty like those dickheads they now are,” Chase smirked evilly, and glanced to his left, where a pure crowd of giggling cheerleaders just passed. Rachel felt her confidence sink. No guy would ever glare at her, when she would pass him. The only one brothering acknowledging her, was the friends of Chase’s… and they were partly obligated to… but then there of course where Lu’s friends, including Tala and Ray. Rachel was pretty much comfortable around those two, considering she was tense and stuttering around every other guy, than the ones she knew.

“Chris, Tala and Kai? Would it be a prank or something then? I know how you like pranks Chase,” Rachel mumbled and turned around the corner with Chase beside her. He shrugged nonchalantly.

“I used to. They’re childish, besides I wouldn’t join a prank with them, apart form Chris that is,” he added in honest words. Rachel knew Chase and Chris were pretty close. A thing bringing them closer was probably the fact, Chase was the only one besides Chris, that wasn’t fond of Tyler. Tyler and Chris were siblings. Lu was their sister, and Rachel’s best friend, so basically because she knew Lu, was possibly why she now knew Chris… and Chase, even though he wasn’t one of the Downers’. He was one of the Hiwataris’. Kai’s long lost cousin.

“It’s really hard to be friends with you, when you hate my other friends… excluding Chris of course,” Rachel replied and tugged at her back, which was slung over her shoulder.

“So my cousin is now your friend?” Chase snorted sarcastically. Rachel was practically about choking in her own saliva from shock. In astonishment she managed to pull of a disgusted expression and shook her head violently. Kai was not one of her friends. He was her archenemy, though when they were little, they had been best friends… She tried not to think too hard about that.

“Kai? God hell no! That’s fucked up bastard! I was talking of Tala… and Ray too, even though he’s not a part of The Unbreakable Trio, as you’ve named them so gracefully,” Rachel grinned, but was quickly fuming with anger, as Chase with a smirk plastered to his face grabbed hold of her shoulder to steady her, and ruffle her hair relentlessly. Wildly trying to pry herself away from Chase, she managed to perform a good distance between them.

Rachel was about to start yelling, when she remembered what it was, she was forced to plead him about later, and quickly shut her mouth. She wasn’t about to ruin this with her raging temper. Chase seemed to grow suspicious that she had hesitated in her yelling, but peeled it of.

“The only one I despise is my cousin. You should know that. That is the only thing we have in common,” he mumbled, and earned a rather angry glare from a certain short-tempered girl. A quick glance to her left, she saw that they had just passed art-class. If she wanted to ask, then it had to be now, before it was too late.

“Uhm Chase? I seriously need a ride to the Downers, and I suppose…” her timid voice trailed of at the intense look of disbelief, he gave her. She knew, she was pathetic, but it still hurt somewhere deep inside to have him look at her, like she truly was. Swallowing her unease, she straightened her spine to look prouder.

“…you could give me a ride?”

Relief washed serenity over Rachel, as she finally asked him. Her tenseness and anxiety seemed to calm down a bit, yet she knew this wasn’t over. He would without any doubt turn down her plead, and then she would have to keep on pleading him, with would take about forever. It took surprisingly much effort to convince him verbally. Hopefully biting her lip, Rachel clenched her jaw. Just this time. If there were anything just close to softness in him, he would grant this to her just this once, when she really was in honest need of it.

“No,” he stated flatly and turned his crimson irises down at her. Hurriedly the hope changed into sorrow and hurt in her eyes, and she sighed heavily. Chase was everything but prepared, as Rachel grabbed hold of his sleeve, and tugged it in her palm. Glaring up at him she sadly arched her brows.

“It’s not an obligation,” he muttered darkly, obviously feeling just the slightest hint of guilt. Rachel desperately attempted to lock their gazes, but he seemed to purposely avoid her eyes. A low growl left her lips and angrily she let go of him, pushing a few inches away from her in pent-up anger. She crossed her arms, and furrowed her brows.

“You really are as bad as your cousin, Gothie”, she accused him. The reaction was immediate. His head shot up, but she had no intention to let this chance pass. She knew he listened now. It was just so hard to bring out Kai, to make him listen to her.

“Please Chase, I’ll do anything if you give me a ride to the Downers’ place? I’ve to be there in fifteen minutes,” she explained further, as if it would change his opinion. There was a slight hesitation, before the two letter word hit her face

“…No.”

“Fine! Be that way then. Behave like a spoiled child; it’s the only thing you’re good at, you arrogant jerk,” Rachel snarled much close to an actual yell. Chase wasn’t affected though. He never was. His decision was the final, and nothing could make him feeling guilty. Arrogant indeed.

“Move out of my way, Chase”, she growled angrily and pushed him away from her, as she hurriedly started to run once more. Why was it, she always hoped, he would be the friend, she thought of him, and actually do her a single favour? Hadn’t she learned anything from the countless times, he had always disappointed her with his arrogance? Apparently not. Stupid jerk.

Colourful curses clawed at Rachel’s brain, as she was pulled to a stop with Chase’s hand grabbed her bag and forcing her to stop.

“What now Chase! I’m kinda in a hurry since somebody just turned me down, where I was in the most need of-“

“-On one condition,” he interrupted flatly, only a little bit of gentleness showed in his eyes. Rachel blinked shocked, and it took her a few second to gain her composure. Then narrowing her eyes suspiciously, she crossed her arms over her chest in a defiant matter and glared disbelieving at Chase. He looked… well, not innocent, that was the last term she would connect with Chase Hiwatari, considering the behaviour of his cousin too. Either way he didn’t look innocent, but neither did he look mischievous.

With a sigh Rachel gave in and rolled her eyes at him; “What is that one condition then?”

“You owe me one.”

Rachel looked stupidly at him. What the hell had he expected anyway?

“God, why do you have to be so hard making deals with?” she muttered dryly, as they stepped out into the white December. A freezing wind instantly threw Rachel of guard, even though she still managed to stand upright. Hugging herself tightly to block out the cold, she followed Chase closely, as he walked towards his car. She wet her lips, immediately regretting, as they seemed to freeze by the slightest hint of wetness.

“I’m not. You’re the one being difficult! If you’re that dependable on a car, then take a fucking driver’s license,” Chase reasoned and picked out his keys from his pocket, and cast Rachel a glance. He frowned worriedly. Why was it girls never learned to wear proper clothes? Weren’t they rational enough to know, when it was cold, they should wear warm clothes? With concern on his features he put a hand on her shoulder and guided her towards the car. She took against his offer of guidance.

He felt her shake slightly, and suddenly realized he would have to turn the heater on, if he didn’t want Rachel permanently being stuck to his seat.

“Too expensive. I’m not the one with money clinging all over my very presence,” she mumbled offended, although the sadness was evident in her tone. Instantly feeling guilt appearing inside him, Chase tried to comfort her by rubbing her shoulder a bit and then shrug.

“It’s not that expensive Rachel,” he tried to convince her, but more likely doing it to save his butt from her anger, by not making a moron out of himself again. Rachel was never one to mess with. Only his stupid cousin seemed to be able to make her cool down, when she was in the middle of a raging outburst.

“For me it is okay? My mom’s economy isn’t very good,” she hissed, “You forget it all the time. It’s that whole acting before thinking-concept. It’s like the only disease you ever get.”’

“Just get in the freaking car, and we’re of,” Chase grumbled and with an annoyed look, he reached the car, only to open the door to an utterly angry Rachel. With a scowl she placed herself in the seat, with crossed arms, even tough her jaw shook from cold, and made her ruin her determined look.

As the engine started, Rachel was able to pick up a silent ´sorry´ from her right, and a warm smile crossed her lips.

(-)

Rachel paced up through the front yard of the Downers’ house with steady steps, determined to reach goal and break free of the cold wind. Not even bothering knocking, she practically stumbled in panting and shuddering. Ignoring the unpleasant cold slowly chilling down her body, she prayed the lord, Lu wasn’t reluctant to the idea of hot chocolate. Her throat suffered from the lack of warmth. Chase hadn’t driven her all way to Lu’s, partly because he had business to attend to, as if, but mainly because he wouldn’t risk stumbling right into Kai. Those two cousins truly had something against each other.

“So the goody-goody bookworm has arrived”, a cool voice suddenly pierced right through her mind, and with a gasp she twirled around, her jacket half open and her face flushing from cold. Glaring at her stood a familiar slate-haired presence, leaning nonchalantly up against the doorframe, a smirk plastered to his lips. Just as Rachel was about to respond back, another head with messy brown hair peeked out from the doorway, his auburn eyes filled with humour and mischief.

“Hey Rachel. Have you seen Chase?” Chris asked, and manoeuvred past Kai with a broad grin on his face. Rachel shrugged casually and let Chris close the door behind her. She didn’t realize she hadn’t been closed, before she felt how cold it actually had gotten.

”Actually he drove me here- Chris! Where on earth have you been? I’ve been worried sick about you,” she suddenly exclaimed and spun around to face Chris. He watched in shock and mild amusement, as she began to examine him in concern of any physical wounds, as if he had been victim to a car crash. Kai arched his brows in boredom and couldn’t help but snort at the obvious display of concern. Rachel could feel her cheeks blush from embarrassment. If they had been strangers looking, her gesture could easily have been mistaken for a display of affection.

Patiently brushing a few strands of brown hair away from her eyes, she took a deep breath. Chris only tilted his head to the left with a grin on his face.

“I’m flattered you care so greatly for me, but I was simply at Kai’s with Tala and Ray,” he responded her question. Rachel’s expression turned dry, and she cast a glance towards Kai in the doorway. He connected their gazes, and a rush of adrenaline ran up Rachel’s spine, as she saw the intense challenge in those crimson irises, yet the flush of anger, got fuel from another part of her too. The part that… cared about Kai from her childhood. Quickly banishing that disturbing thought from her rational mind, Rachel heaved her face proudly and narrowed her eyes at Kai. He only smirked amusedly, and arched his brows awaiting her reply. She bit her lip. She wasn’t going to argue with him in this company. It would be terribly wrong, not to forget rude. Instead she turned her attention to Chris, who arrogantly, and unfortunately, decided to join Kai at the doorframe with a smug expression.

In that second another presence entered the room from the door leading into the living room, his eyes a blazing turquoise and his hair a flaming red. He held the same nonchalance as Kai and Chase. Rachel found herself cursing her luck. The three persons that loved to humiliate her gathered in the same room with her, and her being vulnerable without any support. How she wished anybody may pass by right now.

“Hey, like your outfit Rach. Very… clingy…,” Tala stated in an honest tone, and much to Rachel’s annoyance she found her face flushing. With a hard glare she placed her hands on her hips. If he meant those clothes of hers, he surely must have lost his mind… if he hadn’t already as it was. She never liked to show of. It gave nothing but trouble. She didn’t want guys to glare at her with passion in heir eyes, as if they would anyway. She had never caught any guy looking the way at her, as they always looked at Lu. If it wasn’t for her charming and welcoming nature, even though she was hard to gain trust from, she wouldn’t be appealing in anyway, but she was like that. The sway from her hips only added to the plusses. Rachel could practically only dream of that stuff. She wasn’t the very… charming person… just the shy one…

“I’m flattered you watch me so intensely, but I was simply not trying to gain your attention,” she quoted Chris’s former words, and noticed out of the corner of her eye him flashing a sly grin at her. Tala only grinned broadly and winked at her. Her eyes darted of to glance at Kai. As usual he wore the bored, slightly mysterious, expression, almost like a shadow covered his face. A loud curse echoed in Rachel’s mind, as she instantly blocked that thought away… it was for her own safety anyway…

“Well it all in the end explains, why I couldn’t locate you, Chris. No person in his right mind would consider Mr. Perfect as an option”, she sarcastically replied with a scowl. Kai’s eyes darkened and, he was about to retort, just as shriek from the highest step of the stair, made everybody’s attention turn to a brown-haired female with glistening auburn eyes, at the moment wearing a wide smile.

”Rachel would you hurry already? There’s a lot we need to do before tonight,” Lu scolded friendly, and placed her hands on her hips. Rachel smiled and quickly waved at her while nodding.

“Especially with a worm-face like hers”, Kai muttered in a sinister tone. Rachel’s palm itched to slap that perfect face of his, but unfortunately she couldn’t bring herself to actually do it. Choosing to ignore the insult for now, she merely ruffled Chris hair, him letting out an offended pout, before she hurriedly scrambled up the stairs following Lu.

(-)

The room was beautifully decorated in rich, mahogany colours. The curtains were white and probably made of smooth satin, while the walls were painted in a bright yellow. In the left corner of the room were a closet of dark mahogany, and beside it were a desk containing a few drawers in the left side of it, also made of rich mahogany. The bed had silver drapes, and in the bedpost there were carved minor roses, each one of them made down to the smallest delicate detail. To say at least, it was indeed a very beautiful room, expect for the mess in it. Magazines, old and new, in preferable shape or not, were spread carelessly around the floor, and half-done drawings were shuffled into the drawers regardless of respectfulness, not to mention the value of paper, and sticking out like colourful flowers ready to spread their petals and bloom in grace. The sheets of the bed were wrinkled and tangled up in a mess.

Rachel shook her head.

“The guys are gonna join us you know,” Lu exclaimed cheerfully, as she collected everything needed for the transformation of them. Basically it was make-up and hair-stuff. Just the usual. Rachel frowned, and her mouth fell open in partly shock. She hadn’t heard anything about that, but then she had been with Chase most of the time this week, and he surely wasn’t going to go, when Kai and Tala was. That was the only bad thing about having friends, Tala, when your other friend, Chase, only could get along with some of your other friends, Chris.

“Huh!” she asked dumbfounded, as she let Lu guide her into a chair, and pushed it over to the mirror. She glared at the reflection of Lu in the mirror standing behind her with various object in her hand, amongst them several foundations and likely. Apparently the face had first priority. Closing her eyes Rachel handed over her face to the professional hands of Lu’s.

“Your brother is going too,” Lu claimed and put some of the cold and clingy foundation onto her face. Rachel shuddered unconsciously at the coldness of it on her already frozen cheeks, even though the hot chocolate in between her numb fingers helped her warm up quickly. She tilted her head upwards for Lu to gain better access to all the angles and edges of her face.

“Chad? Is he honestly in league with them?” Rachel asked in disbelief. She just found it hard, not to forget odd, that her brother was in league with the popular ones. He didn’t mingle with them in school, but then neither did she mingle with Chase or the others in school. Only if it was necessary, as to day with the lift. That truly was an emergency.

“Apparently. They invited him, whether to annoy you or because they actually wanted to, I can’t even dare to assume. I only overheard Tala telling it to Kai and Chris,” Lu mumbled in concentration. Rachel let one eye batter open to look at Lu with a teasing grin; “More like eavesdropping, but what about Tyler and Chase?”

Lu smacked Rachel’s shoulder, and rolled her eyes.

“I don’t know about Chase, perhaps Chris has asked him, but then I’m pretty sure Chase won’t do anything with Kai, so…And Tyler is occupied. A school-project. He was sick for a week and is way behind. Mom won’t let him out, before he has caught up, yet I think she only does it to punish him. You know she’s not especially… fond of him like with Chris and me,” Lu explained hesitantly. Awkwardly a thick tension fell across the room. Lu had only once explained her past to me. It simply hurt too much to tell. Her parents had never been fond of Tyler. He had been both physically and emotionally abused, yet her and Tyler had always stick together, while they had never shared and exceptionally strong bond with Chris. In other words Tyler loved Lu above everything on earth. When she was nine their parents divorced, and she went with her mother together with Tyler. At that time both Chris and Tyler went out of control. Tyler mainly because of frustration and suffer. He just had to let it all out, but eventually, at the age of fifteen, he had calmed down. Chris on the other hand lived with their father, who let him basically do everything he wanted. He didn’t care what his son did or what consequences it made, so when he went berserk it was unlike Tyler. Tyler just didn’t care anymore, when Chris deep down always had been a rebel. Amongst the two of them Chris had always been the worst one, yet he ended up calming down too, when he joined Tala and Kai.

Generally they weren’t that much opposite of each other, as they would like to be, considering they constantly argued with each other.

“Anyway, how are you taking it?”

Lu’s voice jerked Rachel back from the memories, and it took her a few seconds to absorb what she had just asked; “Taking what?”

“That they’ll be there. Kai’ll be there,” Lu explained further. Rachel sighed heavily. Like she hadn’t thought of that already. It was pretty hard to forget you had to stand your archenemy for a whole evening of fun. Damn him to hell.

“Thank you for reminding me,” Rachel replied sarcastically. Lu gave her a supporting smile and titled her head to the left to get the right angle once more. Rachel dazedly obeyed and titled her head with laziness. She was worried. Not that she minded the others presence, but it was just that every time Kai and she were at the same thing, they usually ended up bumping into each other. Call it destiny or just bad luck, but she was beyond caring anymore. If fate was that cruel to humiliate her constantly, then so be it. She could defeat fate. She simply just had to.

“It’s not that I deliberately hate him. I just don’t like they way he’s grown up,” Rachel softened her rather harsh thoughts. Lu quirked an eyebrow in a mocking gesture.

“The sadistic, arrogant and chauvinistic type?” she suggested dryly. Rachel smirked at her friend’s cruel words. Yeah, she had thought that about Kai too, when they had met once more after being separated since childhood, and she had come to the same plain assumption. Kai truly was sadistic, arrogant and chauvinistic.

“Yeah,” Rachel agreed sleepily. Lu had finished her face. She hadn’t applied much. Only a bright red eyeshadow with faint golden glimmer, dark eyeliner and an almost transparent trace of pitch black mascara. The rouge on her cheeks gave her face a warm and enchanting glow. She was satisfied with the outcome. Lu was a true professional at this kind of stuff.

“And the hot one too,” Lu suddenly giggled. Rachel blinked once. Twice.

“Lu!”

“Oh come on. Don’t tell me you haven’t thought of him that way. Everybody has the hots for him, and I bet even you have deep inside that thin brain of yours,” Lu exclaimed in desperation, as she began brushing Rachel’s dark hair. Rachel scowled at her best friend and shook her head in disbelief. Kai hot? She ought to be kidding, yet many girls were swooning over him, not to mention the sea of drool that was created, when he passed. Perhaps he was handsome… Get a grip Rachel!

“Shut up Lu. I hate him, and that’s final,” Rachel quickly disregarded her previous thoughts, and growled at her friend. Lu pouted childishly and put up her hands in front of her chest in offence.

“I though you only disliked the person he had gown up to be, not his sexy body and features too?” she muttered innocently.

“Lu… Do me a favour and just fix my hair… silently.”

Lu sighed lightly and nodded in abandonment. She was pretty much aware, Kai was downright hot, but she just hadn’t felt that spark, when she saw him, so basically she wouldn’t even dare bet her effort on him. It was much safer with others, she did have a spark with. With Rachel… Lu just found it hard, Rachel didn’t felt anything for Kai. After all they had been childhood friends, and such close bond never faltered that easily. Perhaps deep down, they unconsciously did fell at last something.

“Sure, besides we have to take Mariah with us. We’ll take mom’s car. Then the guys can take the spare one in the backyard,” Lu changed the topic. It didn’t matter trying to convince Rachel. She was stubborn as hell.

“You have a car in the backyard?” Rachel asked in sheer amusement. Lu narrowed her eyes at her, and finished setting up her hair in a messy ponytail, while letting the long locks of her bangs move freely down the side of her jaw and chin.

“Yeah, it’s a Rover.”

“I guess it does make a different image having a Mercedes in public rather than a Rover”, Rachel mumbled in amazement. How come she never knew that? Well, she didn’t necessarily have to know that exact piece of information, but still. Perhaps she someday was in need of a car, if she would ever get a driver’s license that is.

Lu nodded, “That’s exactly why the Mercedes gets the gara- hey, don’t ruin my masterpiece!”

Lu’s hand shot up to remove Rachel’s, which were heavily busy with scratching her scalp.

“The spray makes my scalp itch,” Rachel complained sadly, but got no mercy from Lu. She harshly forced Rachel’s hand away from her hair with a growl. In reluctance Rachel gave into the supremacy of Lu.

“Want the bangs curled or straightened?” Lu asked eagerly. Rachel glared at her friends nervously, “Just do it curled.”

“My favourite!”

“Only because you manage to torture me by ripping of half of my hair in the process,” Rachel snorted. Lu put her hands at her hips and glanced darkly at Rachel. Rachel merely shrugged and practically ignored her friend. Lu let go of a suppressed smirk. Rachel’s eyes twitched in anxiety.

“Well, there has to be benefits somewhere!”

(-)

Rhythmic beats thundered through the floor and echoed onto the walls, while dust-like smoke floated in the air, having various nuances due to the dizzying colours of the moving lamps above. A smell of sweat and warmth caused the room to somehow store a thickness, which was appealing in every single way. Inhibitions were carelessly thrown away, regardless of the consequences, as couples grind sensually up against each other in a display of pure and raw lust. Such an environment was addicting. For somebody every single hour of the day, and for others only mere hours of the night, either way when you stepped into it, you got lost in pleasurable insanity.

Rachel, Mariah and Lu entered the room. Mariah sent Rachel a comforting grin, telling her silently she shouldn’t worry. Both Lu and Mariah knew Rachel’s dislike against this kind of trips. She had always been the innocent one, yet deep down she liked this. She liked, that she was able to just let go and have fun, to be reckless.

“I’ll get the drinks and you just try to locate the guys, okay?” Rachel suggested calmly. Lu and Mariah nodded and within a few seconds, they were already lost in the crowd of humans sweating their emotions out. Their eyes were glazed over, as if in a daze of oblivion. Rachel was fond of that state. It was the state where all inhibitions were lost, and you just let your mind take over your body, like it was a tool that needed to be controlled down to the last minor detail, or plainly just down to perfection. It was when you felt the rhythm of the music thunder through your blood and cause your veins to pulsate with adrenaline.

With a slight smile, Rachel shook her head at her wild and uncontrolled thoughts, and glared around in her search for the bar. It was pretty hard to locate anything amongst all these dancing bodies. Frankly she wasn’t that concentrated on finding the bar. To be completely honest she wanted to find her brother. Why, she had no clue. She just wanted to see for herself, that he truly mingled with Kai.

With a gasp Rachel suddenly collided with something hard and plain. Everything seemed to swirl around, and for a second she felt her legs betray her, though fortunately a forceful grip around her wrist roughly prevented her from the humiliation of falling.

“Shouldn’t you be more aware of your surroundings?” a baritone voice stroked her ears. Rachel blinked several times to get the dizziness away from her mind and clear the fog. Placing her free hand on her forehead in a light touch, she vaguely sensed the familiarity in the voice, yet it didn’t reach her powerfully enough, before an embarrassment overwhelmed her.

“I’m terribly sorry. I didn’t mean- Kai!”

Crimson irises, almost similar to Chase’s, held her gaze intensely, amusement evident in the depthless darkness. An elegant eyebrow was arched in perfection, and his lips held a smug smirk. Tilting his head to the left, he glanced at her innocently.

“Hello Toxin,” he greeted flatly. Rachel’s eyes widened in realization and anger fumed through her. Of all people it had to be him? Fuck fate! What had she ever done to deserve this? Growling in mental agony Rachel narrowed her greyish eyes at him, even though it only seemed to add further fuel to his amusement, despite the fact he still looked as cold and untouchable as ever.

“Don’t call me that hideous name you moron,” she hissed and attempted to jerk her wrist free from his firm grip. He tightened the grasp to Rachel’s astonishment. She nearly spat acid at him, as a low hiss broke the prison of her lips.

“You’re nothing but an arrogant, chauvinistic excuse of a rich and whiny bastard. No females would even consider nearing you, if it wasn’t for…Just forget it Kai, and let go of my wri-”

Kai suddenly spun her around, and she felt her back connect harshly with his muscular chest. A lump of unease gathered in her throat, and she desperately gasped to gain the slightest amount of her breath back. Shock invaded her fogged mind, and she immediately started to writhe smoothly in his rather possessive grasp, yet he quickly encircled an arm around her slender waist, plastering her relentlessly to his body. Before she could utter a single phrase, his breath fell warmly on her exposed throat and the shell of her ear and effectively shut her up. He began moving them both to the music, sensual motions, their bodies practically hugging each other erotically.

“Why is it you can’t offend Toxin? You could at least fulfil that pathetic attempt of an insult instead of trailing of into a plea,” she heard him whisper huskily into her ear. A sudden rage filled her. The nerve of him. He actually dared to embrace her in such intimacy? Though all she could do was remaining limp in his presence, only being capable of hissing: “It’s nothing.”

“Why do you always have to purify yourself and your actions Toxin?” he growled lowly in her ear, feeling her body shudder. Perhaps it was oblivious to her now, but her body was far by ready to give into its desire and urges. She held it in such a tight lace. Why was it she never just let it control her mind? Let her urges surface and control her very being, instead of her rationality blocking her way to pleasure, physically or emotionally didn’t matter very much. She was tense both ways. Besides… this only added profit for him later on. Blackmailing was so nice to have in the backhand.

“You’re so determined to stay pure and innocent. For once just let others tend to you,” he explained further. Rachel was feeling odd. Her breath was pounding harshly in her chest, and the lump in her throat was beginning to warm. Her fingers trembled, little tremors and shivers stroking the skin on her spine. Anxiety entered her pools of grey and onyx. Determined she concentrated on the hostile conversation instead of her body behaving against her will.

“Tend to… oh…” she muttered as realization dawned on her. She more like felt the warmth breath of his collide with the sensitive skin on her neck instead of hearing his dark chuckle. Shit, what the hell was going on! What the hell were they doing! What the hell was this!

Gulping nervously Rachel focused her gaze ahead of her. Where were Lu and Mariah, when they were actually needed for once?

“Oh indeed, but I guess a virgin wouldn’t dare doing such a sinful thing,” he purred into her ear, embarrassing her terribly. Suddenly gaining her composure and fierce confidence, she practically hit her way out of his embrace, and spun around to face him. Shock hit her straight in her face. His eyes were glowing with a primal force and an engulfing darkness. His skin was glistening and warmth seemed to radiate from his body. Before Rachel could make a run for it, he had grabbed her again by her wrist.

“Oh well, not everybody is players right!” she actually managed to snarl, fighting for control over her body, which still reacted so oddly.

“And I am?” he asked plainly, keeping the distance between them. Rachel seemed to hesitate. In a moment the old Kai surfaced in his eyes. The caring one, before the gleam suddenly vanished. A flicker of sadness crossed Rachel’s features. She didn’t want to fight him anymore. She wanted to be friends with him, but…She had really never liked to fight him. She kind of… missed him…missed his old self.

“What do you think yourself?” she snorted angrily and poked him on the chest with one finger.

“Let me get this straight, because you’ve seen me with a few girls, then I’m a player?” he asked in disbelief, crossing his arm over his chest, and forcing her finger away from him. Her left eye twitched, and out of frustration she groaned.

“It’s not just a few, and you’ve doubtlessly been sleeping with them too, if not with countless others you can’t even name correctly.”

A sudden flicker on his face, made Rachel stiffen. A mischievous glow shadowed his features, as she suddenly found herself captured by his arms once more, only this time facing him. With a gasp of surprise, she placed her palms on his chest, barely being able to move at all. He glared down at her, terrifyingly near.

She didn’t feel comfortable in his presence, as she used to, when they were little. In that cute, silly, childish way they had been intimate back then, but when she grew older, more rational, understanding, and didn’t see the world in black-white perspective, those tight bonds she once had thought unbreakable, had faltered slowly, the more time they spent away from each other, due to the difference in sociality. He was simply ranked higher than her, because of his money. Now she saw him in a different perspective too. She had learned to see under that stoic façade of his and discover minor details about his behaviour and structure. Pretty scaring since he was her archenemy through years by now. What had separated them was beyond her comprehension, all she knew was that something between them had faltered ever so elegantly, and left nothing back but a hollow emptiness, to huge to shallow.

“Are you jealous Toxin? Is that it? Those pathetic boyfriends of yours surely couldn’t have been in the skilled department, now when I think about it! Wasn’t the last one the retarded one with glasses?” he mumbled huskily, breaking her thoughts, while a newly created shudder ran down her body. Very ready indeed, Kai noted mentally. Her body was restless to gain attention. What on earth had she been doing with her other boyfriends, when her body reacted so strongly, to him of all people? Was she really so desperate deep down inside?

“Just shut up Kai, and you assume you are skilled then?” She asked with an undertone of sarcasm. Kai arched his brows.

“K-Kai!” Rachel burst out in a stutter, as he abruptly tangled his fingers into her hair, and forced her head to the side, nuzzling his face down into the fragile crook of her neck.

“You’re flushed and you’re trembling, your breathing is ragged and your eyes are glazed over, your body is warm and your lips are dry, not to forget your heart is pounding rapidly in your chest and your skin is glistening with sweat, and to think I yet have to deliberately touch you… Girls in my league? I doubt that very much so,” he whispered, with every single word brushing his warm lips against her skin. Her body was melting into him and it frightened her. With one single push she freed herself, panting harshly. She stumbled backwards, Kai watching her in amusement.

“Get the hell away from me Kai! I’m not in the mood dealing with complete assholes right now. I’m here to let go of tension, not gain it. I’m not afraid of hitting you, so don’t tempt me,” she hissed furiously, and in rage she strode pass him proudly, but before he let her leave, she heard a faint whisper.

“Then I better be your guidance on that matter!”

(-)

Still fuming over her partly scaring encounter with Kai, Rachel had managed to locate the crowded bar, and oddly enough even managed to get serviced rather quickly. Carrying three drinks, she pushed through most of the people she passed without seeming too rude. It practically took her breath away, as she in anxiety glared at the dark liquid in the glasses in her hands. It could very easily spill, especially when people constantly overlooked her, and either bumped into her or actually hit her accidentally with their elbows or likely.

In the middle of Rachel’s utter desperation, familiar voices reached her ears.

“Do I have to separate you two like a pair of children?”

“He’s the only one who’s a child.”

“If I’m a child you’re a midget sized infant.”

A broad smile crossed Rachel’s lips, and her eyes locked on six familiar shapes, relaxing in the couches. Taking in a deep breath of relief, she paced towards them. Mariah was the first one to acknowledge her, as she waved at her. It was basically just to tell her to hurry up with the drinks, but still she did acknowledge her.

Rachel reached them and sat down beside Lu and Mariah, handing them their drinks. The greedily caught them in a passionate grasp, that made Rachel grin. Mariah sent her a confused look.

“Why did it take so long for you to get the drinks?” Lu asked lazily with a yawn. Momentarily Rachel stiffened, and she paled, a too clear picture of her sharing an embrace with Kai fluttering briefly through her inner vision. Quickly gaining her normal expression back, she simply waved her hand at Lu.

“Ah well, I looked for Chad and then met Kai,” she briefly explained. It didn’t even pay off to tell a lie. Basically Rachel sucked at lying, and Lu was just too good to look through any lie that might occur. Lu had always been the best to look straight through Rachel, but then they weren’t best friends through almost about ten years for nothing. Rachel could read Lu like an open book too, sometimes for the good and sometimes for the bad, but no matter what friend you ´choose´, there were always bad sides, and those sides you just had to accept. Nobody was perfect no matter how hard they tried. No detail could be made completely perfect, so why bother trying?

“Oh, anything interesting happened?” Lu asked, suddenly very eager and interested, her eyes glistening with mischief. Rachel should’ve known. Anything involving her and Kai excited Lu beyond limits.

“Nah. Just a little arguing you know,” Rachel quickly brushed of the upcoming conversation. She had enough trouble, as it was with the last remark of Kai’s. Then I better be your guidance on that matter. She was afraid to even try comprehending, what those words meant to be completely honest. The truth about it was just something she couldn’t deal with. God, he could be such an ass. A wonder he even managed to keep his girlfriends, but then… every guy needed flesh plainly spoken.

“If you say so- Hey Tala you jerk, quit being an ass and stare at that girl like she’s a piece of meat,” Lu suddenly raged at a smirking Tala. He was glaring intensely at a girl, being held tightly by her boyfriend. His expression was everything but bored, more like greedy. Rachel suppressed the urge to smile. Tala always managed to get a rise out of Lu. It was so funny sometimes, even though Rachel had to agree with Lu, that Tala was an even bigger player than Kai. He used even more innocent girls, mainly cheerleaders, and he even used some twice, and they just willingly let him, because of the… well… the sex… He ought to be good in bed. No person could ever fall for his personality. Actually Tala was much worse than Kai, despite her hate for him…. Why the hell do I keep comparing Tala with Kai!

“Only if you offer as replacement,” Tala smirked slyly back at Lu, who shot him a warning glare. Tyler suddenly seemed to be done with Chris, as he turned his full attention to Tala, his eyes a warningly dark colour.

“Don’t talk like that to Lu,” he warned, a hidden threat hidden beneath the surface of his voice. Lu sent Tyler a thanking glare.

“Cool it, I was only kidding.”

“Why do you always have to protect her?” Chris suddenly raged, and Tyler instantly turned his attention to Chris once more. Deep down Chris was probably jealous, that Lu and Tyler always was on each others sides, but then, he could be like them too, if he just wanted to make the effort and create such bonds.

“Oh shut it ass”, Tyler grumped and disappeared in the crowd, Chris following him angrily.

“What a lovely conversation,” Rachel joked sarcastically and stretched. She was getting rather tense from just sitting here, perhaps even slightly worried. If Chad truly were here, she had to… she had to find him and watch over him. Mom was down enough already, but if Chad kept it up. Last time he did promise mom, it was over, but… Rachel knew it was never fully over. It had been going on long before mom ever got to know it, and she had cried for several days afterwards. If Rachel went to tell her, he had fallen into the loop again, then… She didn’t dare even think about the consequences of that act of concern.

“Hey sis, comfortable?”

Suddenly everybody went deadly quiet. Lu had her eyes turned on Rachel. Ever so slowly Rachel heaved her face to glare at her brother. His appearance was everything but tense, and unfortunately his eyes were glazed over, but not from the state of the lack of inhibitions. No, this was entirely different. His eyes held a lightness and carelessness, which was everything but calming.

In one smooth motion Rachel was standing with a tense posture, her eyes pricking with the threat of warm tears. Her heart swelled in agony. Why!

“Uhm Chad? You okay?” Mariah asked carefully behind Rachel, as she stood up to support her friend. Lu was simply eyeing the situation very carefully. Tala’s expression had turned serious, and he finally seemed to concentrate fully on something.

“Yeah, cool as ever babe. Just chilling,” Chad grinned and swayed a bit. Rachel bit her lip, feeling the pain and the metallic taste of cobber-blood in her mouth. She closed her eyes briskly, before opening them, her face void of any emotions but pure and sheer anger.

“Geeze Chad, not again! How can you do this to mom?” she yelled frustrated. Mariah backed away from her, as Rachel slung out her arms to her sides desperately. The urge to slap him straight across his face, made her palm itch temptingly.

“Don’t be such a baby sis,” Chas rolled his eyes at her, and waved her of.

“God damn it Chad, mom’s worried enough, why the hell do you keep this stupidity up? You’re practically spiked with cocaine, marihuana or whatever it now is this time”, Rachel fumed, and reached out to grab Chad. He grabbed her wrist, and pushed it roughly away from him. For a second fear entered her eyes, as a violent gleam glistened in Chad’s glare, before it vanished like dew in the morning sun. Violence was the primal instinct in every human body, and was released by the simple act of offence. Rachel never intended to release that instinct unnecessarily.

“Shut it sis, why don’t you just relax! Get Tala to shag you like the bitch you are, you need it,” Chad said groggily, as he glanced ahead of Tala. He had narrowed his eyes, and looked oddly… concerned and… worried….

“Chad damnit, get a grip on reality you ass,” Rachel yelled and shook her head in disbelief. Usually her brother was rational, but lately… lately it had all gone wrong. Her mom had gotten fired, they were in serious lack of money, and were in deep debt, and her father had no intention helping her mom out of it. Therefore Chad had completely given up on everything; even the word college was far away from his mind, where he in the past has been so fixated on it. It was like he had given up his dream…

“Whatever,” Chad merely mumbled, before ignoring her words, like they would’ve peeled of glass, and slowly he paced of into the crowd of humans. In desperation and abandonment Rachel watched him leave, glaring after him with emptiness in her eyes.

“Come on Rachel, let’s... let’s go home,” Lu said softly, placing a hand on Rachel’s shoulder. With a last glance towards Chad, Rachel nodded. What could she do either way?

As usual R&R and tell me whatever you feel like!

Hope you wasn’t disappointed!

Feedback is my motivation!

-Frozzy-