DISCLAIMER:

I don’t own them, nor make any profit from them.

I just take them out to play for a while, and send them home, tired – but happy.

GOING HOME

By: Rogue1503

-o0o-

A/N: - Spoilers for Epiphany

For Titan5

-o0o-

CHAPTER ONE

The team stood and watched the ascension of the inhabitants of the Cloister. Nobody spoke until the last of their bright lights had faded into the pale blue sky.

Much to Rodney McKay’s extreme disappointment, the team made a bee line for the portal, making only a brief stop at the Cloister for John to pick up his things. They all agreed that even though there wasn’t anyone left there, they didn’t want to leave clues as to their identity or existence, should anyone else arrive there and take up residence. Worse still, Elizabeth ruled out even looking at the power source for the portal. Not even a sniff.

It was mid afternoon as they arrived in the centre of the Cloister. John was surprised that he actually felt a little heartsick that there was no movement anywhere. The place was silent, save for the sounds of nature in the nearby woods. He didn’t really want to admit it, but he was missing them a little – as he approached the door to what had been his home these past six months he still expected Hedda to run out and hug him. He and the little healer had become firm friends. He had told her stories of Atlantis and though she never said it out loud, he could see the wistful look that she could perhaps travel there one day and see it with her own eyes.

He walked into his room, trying not to look around, searching. Logic said they were gone. Logic said you’ve got what you wanted – you’re going home – don’t waste time here and jeopardize it.

He reached for the two packs – the original one which now held the remnants of his torn and bloodied uniform and his long since empty P90, and the newer pack acquisition still containing the food stuffs and survival gear. He hadn’t let Teer even wash his uniform – though useless and hopelessly torn, he had tried to hold on to the belief that he would be able to go home sooner rather than later and he wanted to be able to take everything home – just as it was.

It was probably a silly thought really, but he couldn’t help but feel that if she washed his clothes, washed him out of his uniform that it was another step closer to losing touch with his own home.

His eyes fell upon the thick rug on the floor that only a couple of nights ago he and Teer had … he tore his mind away from the images dancing in his head, the feel of her skin on his as they had both given in to the moment.

He would miss her. He would miss them.

He wouldn’t miss the meditation – he so wouldn’t miss the meditation.

“John – are your ready to go, we’ll be losing the daylight soon” Elizabeth’s’ quite voice broke his silent reverie.

“Ummmm yeah, just about got everything I think….” He looked around one last time.

Now he wanted to be away from here, or more correctly he wanted Elizabeth to be away from here. Having her standing here in the same room that he had made love to Teer in felt like sacrilege to their memories, his memories.

“C’mon John – get a handle on this now” he muttered quietly to himself, walking out of the door without looking back. The bombardment of confusing thoughts only managed to confuse him further – he needed some space to figure this out. Let go, go home.

“Colonel Sheppard – how are you feeling?” Carson met him at the bottom of the timber stairs.

“Not now Carson – I’m fine – please, tell me you didn’t bring that damned pen light of yours.” John countered.

“Aye son, I did, but I’m more concerned about how you are after your latest encounter with the ground. Ronon and Teyla are still a little shaken up” Carson’s eyes drifted over to the pair of his team mates sitting quietly at the central meal table, heads leaning on the table top, empty dishes pushed out of the way.

John tried to ignore the soreness in his muscles.

“Hey Sheppard – what’s this place for?” Rodney yelled out as he poked his head out of the meditation area. John just couldn’t shake the feeling of irritation he was feeling, nor the growing loss within him for the people that were no more. Only hours ago he was telling them of thunder storms, only hours ago, they were all sharing a meal together, the remains of which remained as they’d left it. Now he felt as if his team was walking on their grave – intruding where they were not welcome.

“Nope, I’m fine – can we all get going now? – and Rodney, you wouldn’t believe what goes on in there – I’ll tell you about it on the way home” Sheppard shouldered his packs and started towards the now familiar track back to the portal.

“You guys coming or what?” he called back over his shoulder.

To be continued