her handkerchief
was unstained
tongue moistening
rouged lips
it was forever winter
and never christmas
it was strange
going to a funeral
for a brother who
had long stopped writing
she had written him
even when letters had
come back unopened
the funeral of a sister
who would smile
unnaturally during her visits
no longer trying to
engage her in
conversations of
an imaginary land
filled with people whose
names had faded like ink
on old paper

she still could sleep
sometimes her dreams
were filled with laughter and finery
she had been wiser
in those dreams and beautiful
when she woke
from those dreams
she would think to
write to lucy
but the pen would falter
as she remembered
that lucy had gone

her friends were flashy
grownups like herself
who didn't like to dwell
on a past that was a
little too sharp
she liked to laugh with
them and sometimes
she laughed so that
people would stare at her
a fashionable woman
who should not be
laughing so soon
after the death of family
downright shameful

sometimes she would watch the train pass by
and wondered if she
should take a ride on it
ust to see where it would take her
no, that was the past
a train would simply
take her to the next stop
still, she looked at
the rails and thought
that lucy would not have
hesitated totake an idle ride
instead, susan went home
the sun was very
bright in the sky
she looked up at it
and afterwards she
saw spots

disclaimer - neither susan nor narnia belong to me. neither do any of the other characters. they were created by c.s. lewis.

author's note - first foray into narnia. i still firmly believe susan got robbed.