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Last Stop
Notes: This story contains shonen-ai and a good dose of angst and awkward situations. The idea was not entirely mine, but inspired from a TV series (I will tell the source in the bottom note, so that I don't spoil it). It's all in Leorio's POV (Point of View).
There are a few things I can't understand, like how fate had cruel plans for me. I remember Kurapika mumbling something about "the irony of the world losing a noble man". I'd look at him quizzically, then smirk and say: "Me? Noble? I'm a greedy bastard!"
I called Kurapika less than two years ago, while having a panic attack. I remember him crying with me on the phone. I didn't think he'd cry, I thought he'd remain calm, like he always did. But ever since then, I learned how much he cares for me. Although he can exaggerate a lot, frankly.
We are in a small car, I think it's called a Beetle or something like that. Kurapika drives while I drift in and out of sleep. The sun hits me on the face, so I also don't have another choice but to close my eyes. I can feel him looking at me occasionally. Making sure I'm all right.
I remember how things used to be before I found out... I worked at a poor, public hospital just after graduating. Full days, I'd sleep there, eat there, shower there... Actually, I didn't have a home, so I got to save a lot of money back then.
There was a big woman of color there, who we affectionately called Big Momma. She was a nurse, and she had a special gift with people, making everyone feel calm and happy. She helped me a few months before Kurapika moved in with me, she was very strong, both emotionally and physically. Big Momma would tease us, and the Kuruta would turn red as a tomato by her insinuations of us being lovers.
I guess he never expected this. Heck, neither did I. But it helped us to confess much faster than we would have if this hadn't happened. Which does leave one with a bitter taste in the mouth... Why do we wait until the worse happens to be honest with each other? And I'm not talking about Kurapika and I, I mean people in general...
We're going to meet Gon and Killua today, in a beach no one goes to. We don't want people bothering us. Those two... Last time I saw them, they were thirteen years old each. And if my memory doesn't fail me, they'd be eighteen by now. That's five years of not seeing each other...
"Leorio?" Kurapika's concerned voice snaps me out of my thoughts. I move my head in his direction, opening my eyes lazily. "We're almost there," he says.
"Ok..." I mutter, and go back to my thoughts. I hope those two don't get overly emotional about this... Maybe not Killua, but Gon... He's too attached to us.
Just as my Kuruta promised, the car slowed down and he turned towards the beach. There is no parking or signs or anything, it really is the middle of nowhere. I wonder if the boys will know where we are... But then I see a red car parked, and Kurapika drives towards it.
Gon and Killua are sitting outside, leaning against the vehicle. I can't believe how much they've changed. Killua looks like one of those guys in the popular boy-bands, while Gon looks like he's ready to hold the car in his hand. Needless to say, they've grown up and they're no longer the little boys I knew.
Suddenly I feel a lump in my throat, but I hide it from everyone, even myself. I'm good at doing that. I look at my partner, as he observes me expecting some sort of decision on my part. "Well, let's go out and meet them," I say firmly, and for a moment, I convince myself that I can actually jump out the car.
"Don't do anything you can't," he warns me, not buying it. Damn, he knows me well. So, with my right arm I open the door. I take out my right leg and bend over to get a small staff from the floor. Then I lean all my weight on it, and get the other half of my body out of the car.
Kurapika grabs me before I almost fall. It always happens, I tend to forget that there is no wall or anything to support me on the right side. And I don't put much space between the staff and my right leg. This whole parade has gotten the attention of our two younger friends, and they already look concerned.
Right, I almost forgot they know nothing of this. "Yo!" I call, but can't lift any hand to do my salute. I can feel a negative emotion coming back, impotence. I shove it aside with a grin, and drag myself towards them. It seems that Kurapika knew the terrain of this place, since this part is firm ground and grass. The sand is a few feet away from us, and much further, the sea.
The day is a bit windy, but the sun shines and there are no visible clouds. "Leorio! Kurapika!" Gon greets us, hugging my partner. Killua smirks and extends his left hand towards me, expecting me to shake it. He was never emotional around us, much less to me.
I felt awkward. Not because of his gesture, but because I couldn't respond to it. So I just stood there, smiling like an idiot, until Kurapika got close to me, allowing me to lean on him while I let go of my staff. So I extended my right hand. "It's been a long time!" I say, ignoring the confused looks they gave me. "How's everything going?"
Kurapika hands me the staff, and I watch him with thankful eyes. I feel guilty when I have to support my weight on him. He looks so frail, I know he hates it when I say it, but it's true. Gon seems to be having trouble with what he's going to say. I suppose he wants to ask, but doesn't want to sound rude. "We've been fine," he says, instead.
There is that uncomfortable silence I hate. Kurapika ignores it and speaks up. "Have you found your father yet?"
Gon shakes his head, but smiles anyway. "No, but I still keep trying. He's good at avoiding people, though." He looks very mature, talks very calmly. I miss his eager attitude, even if sometimes it irritated me to no end. Killua looks at me, his eyes have changed also. They show more feeling.
"And you, old man? How many women have you got?" As sarcastic and annoying as always. That's Killua Zoldyck for you. I smile, because the tone was friendly. Beside me, Kurapika shifts, probably annoyed by the question. Maybe even jealous. I grin at this thought.
"No time for those things," I say, looking sideways at my partner. He looks up at me, half embarrassed, half concerned. I'm not sure it's possible, but he always manages to do those things. "So! Do you want to go eat on the sand or something?"
Gon and Killua quickly nod and get their things from the car. They brought a lot of food! Kurapika goes to get our own stuff and the infamous backpack. He always brings that, in case I get worse or something. Funny, because there is no cure for me...
The young men walk towards the beach, and Killua looks back at me. He has a questioning look, because I stay here, waiting for Kurapika. When he comes, he positions himself on my left side, and I start dragging half of my body towards our friends.
Fortunately, Gon is still walking to the beach, visibly looking for the best spot. But Killua already is heading towards me. "What...?" he stutters. "What's...?"
"What's wrong with me?" I suggest, and he nods. "I'll tell you both, in time," I assure him, and we continue our march. I delay them a bit, though. And when we reach the sand, my staff sinks, making it very hard for me to go on. I chuckle, despite my bad luck. Killua quickly offers his shoulder as a support for my right side. Seeing that there is no other choice, I accept it, and we make our way towards Gon.
By this time, our younger friend is also looking at us with concern. I curse at all this, inwardly, of course. But I never stop smiling. Kurapika looks deadly serious, but it's not uncommon. He gets this way when I'm around people, in this pathetic state.
They prepare a couple of chairs, and the Kuruta helps me sit on one of those. He sits next to me, as I refuse to occupy it all. Kurapika is good at strategy, I've noticed. He puts himself on either side of me, depending on the situation. Right now, for example, he's sitting to my left.
The other two share the second chair. Everyone looks at me expectantly, and I have to ask. "What?" And then I laugh. I'm not sure if they just want to amuse me or what, but they also laugh a bit.
Gon looks at me worried, once he stops laughing. "Leorio... You're not using your left side..." he says, pointing at me for emphasis. I nod, serious for the first time since we arrived.
"Well, I'll tell you now," I say, and both boys lean closer. And then, after being practicing this conversation with Kurapika, I forgot how to say it. My mouth is open, but no words come out of it. I decide to say it in a typical doctor way... "About two years ago I was diagnosed a tumor... in the brain. This... is slowly... killing me..."
I can feel Kurapika tense up, and both boys looking at me with the most devastating expressions I've ever seen. I smile, a bitter and sad gesture. Gon's eyes are watering, while Killua remains still, in a prudent state of shock. "But... You're a doctor, I mean... Who doesn't have a tumor these days...? It's easy to get out! If it's the money, we can help with that, right Killua?"
At last, the silver haired boy blinks and frowns at our friend. "Idiot..." I hear him mutter. "I don't think it's about money..."
"He's right, Gon. It's not about money," I say, my voice almost defeated. "The location of the tumor makes it impossible for me to get a surgery to remove it," I explain them.
Gon sobs, and Killua's nudge doesn't stop him. He suddenly throws himself at me, and hugs me fiercely. I wish he didn't, though. I can't breathe, he's gotten a lot stronger. And I guess, my partner realized this. "Gon! Don't be so harsh!" Kurapika scolds the young man.
I hug him back with my right arm, ignoring the blond man. Gon's sobs become louder, and I start to worry. I don't want this reunion to end up being my pre-funeral. That was not the idea! I pat him softly on the back. "It's ok, Gon. It's not the end of the world," I joke.
Soft sobs mix with chuckles. "Maybe not," he says against my shoulder, so his voice is muffled. After a few more seconds, he speaks again. "I remember when you got me out of that cage." He sobs again. "If it wasn't for you I wouldn't have gotten to the ship, I wouldn't be here."
"Hey!" I say, trying to calm him down. "You probably would have gotten out anyway."
Killua snickers, and pulls Gon away from me. "Old man's right, Gon," he adds. Our youngest friend frowns, but sits next to his best friend, wiping away the tears. "So, Kurapika, have you gotten all the eyes of your tribe?" He changes the subject.
I almost cringe at the question, and look at my Kuruta. He's serious, and I feel guilty, because I know the answer. "No," he simply says. I feel like a burden. He stopped his quest to take care of me, as if I were a little baby. "There are more important things that I must do," he adds, and looks at me. That is... unexpected.
And now there is, yet again, that dumb silence. Not even the wind makes any noise. Are we going to sit around and look at each other like freaks in a show? "Anyone's hungry?" I ask, breaking the silence. Gon instantly brightens and grabs the portable fridge he and Killua brought.
"Here," he tells the silver haired boy, handing him a chocolate bar. I can't help chuckling at the scene. He still likes chocolate? As if he reads my mind, Gon looks up at me. "I don't think I'll ever get rid of that obsession of his..." I laugh, and soon I hear our younger friends laughing along with me. A soft, polite chuckle joins in, from beside me.
Kurapika gets me a bottle with juice, which he knows I hate with a passion. Where's the beer? Oh, right. I can't drink beer. I glare at the bottle before drinking from it. I'm thirsty, can't argue with it right now. My left arm and leg hang lazily, so I have to support my body with my right leg, and grab the bottle with my right hand. Even half of my face feels numb, and some juice spills from that side of my mouth.
My Kuruta is an expert at this, and he quickly cleans my mouth with a napkin and silently scolds me for drinking so fast. I grin sheepishly, and shrug. Or try to, as only my right shoulder moves. Killua has a sly grin on his face, as he looks at us. I can see it coming... "What are you, husband and wife?" he snorts, and Gon looks at him quizzically.
Kurapika sighs, in what I guess is exasperation. He always hated that comparison, anyway. "You don't see a woman around here, do you?" he asks, trying to be calm. Something is bothering him, and I can't seem to figure it out.
Killua shrugs. "You could have fooled me," he says casually, and then adds, much to my horror. "With your moodiness and all, I thought you were going through PMS or menopause..." He smirks, obviously joking around. But I know what's going to happen.
"Excuse me?" Kurapika snaps, visibly irritated. I look at Gon, and he looks back at me like saying "Let's not butt in". And I silently agree with him. Maybe this will help... I hope... "I'm not going through anything!"
The young Zoldyck makes himself comfortable, leaning against the back of the chair and putting his legs on Gon's lap. "Then why are you so cranky? Why can't you enjoy this day without ruining it?"
"I ruin it?" he raises his voice, eyes wide in shock and anger. "What did I do?"
With a sign, Killua looks at him aloofly. "What didn't you do? That's exactly what I said before... You're cranky, snappy, and bitchy. You should be smiling and having fun, that's why we came here, right?"
Kurapika breathes loudly, his head low, obviously losing his temper. I try to calm him down, but he ignores me. Gon's attempts to quiet Killua also go unnoticed. The Kuruta's shoulders shake a bit, and he looks up at the silver haired young man. His eyes are wet with tears. "How can you say all those things about me, when it's you who's throwing insults around? What is there to smile-?"
He stops and gasps. Kurapika looks at me horrified, as if he just said I'm an asshole or something. I blink. "What?" I ask, really not getting it. Then I remember... "What is there to smile-?" I frown. It's not that I'm angry because of me, but I'd like him to understand that he needs to be happy. Everyone needs to be happy. "Kurapika..."
But he looks at the sand. "I'm sorry, Leorio. I ruined it all. I'll be in the car." And with that he leaves. Gon and I glare at Killua, but I just do it out of frustration.
"I'll go talk to him," the young Freecs says, and runs off. I see when he catches up with my partner and they both lean on our car to talk. That's good, Gon always made him feel better. He's the one that could make us all be together, despite of our differences.
"Sorry," I hear Killua mutter. "I got a bit carried away."
I shook my head. "Don't worry, kid," I smile. "If I wasn't in this condition, I'd kick your butt, though..."
He rolls his eyes. "Sure, old man." We glance at our friends again, looks like Gon is doing all the talking. "So, are you two...?" he asks, and I turn to look at him.
"Yeah..." I answer, taken off guard. In fact, Kurapika and I never made it official. We didn't say one day: "Today we start being a couple!" It simply happened, so we don't have a special day or anything. And I know I'll sound corny, but I think all days are special with him. I chuckle at my inward confession.
Then I sigh, and the young man looks at me expecting me to say something. "I'm sorry I'm making you all go through this..." I admit, and realize who I'm talking to. I've never gotten along with Killua. Not that we hated each other, but he and I were simply too different. Much more than the other two. And now I'm saying things that I didn't even tell Kurapika... "Somehow I think that if I died faster, all this could be avoided..."
"Nonsense!" he snaps, frowning. "We'd still suffer..." he adds, almost too low for me to hear.
"But I wish I could do something so that you don't have to..." I try not to cry, I don't want them to think I'm a crybaby or that I'm scared of death... "... so that you don't have to suffer..."
"None of this is your fault, Leorio. We're losing a friend, and it's normal we get a bit sentimental..." He glances at our friends, and I follow his gaze. Gon is hugging my partner, who seems to be crying. "Ok, maybe not just a bit..." Killua adds, almost sarcastic. And I chuckle.
"You know, kid... You're very strong," I say, and he grins.
"Of course I am! Didn't Gon tell you of the time I kicked-"
I interrupt him, despite being curious about his story. "No, I meant... Strong, here," I say, putting my right hand over my heart. And it really wasn't my intention, but his eyes water suddenly, and he sobs.
"Stupid, old man," he mutters, and hugs me. Thankfully, he doesn't choke me to death. He sniffs a bit, and lets go quickly, as if he was being caught doing something bad. "Sorry."
"You were saying about sentimental...?" I joke, and we laugh once again. The hug we shared means a lot to me. Despite our fights and arguments, this kid cares for me. And I feel... honored to have him as a friend.
Gon walks up to us, and looks at Killua. "He wants to talk to you."
The young Zoldyck nods. "We're swingers now?" I ask.
"Old, perverted man," Killua snaps, running towards the car. "I'll borrow him for a while!" he calls from there, and I look at Gon, who's confused.
"What's a swinger?" he asks, curious.
I blush and shake my head. Here I was thinking he had grown up and learned stuff. "Gon, could you do me a favor?" And he nods, forgetting about his previous question, thankfully. He sits down and waits for me to continue. "When I go... I want you to keep an eye on him..."
"You don't even have to ask," Gon nods sharply. "From what I've seen... He'll need to be around other people... for a long while... We'll take him with us." I'm so glad I asked this. I know I don't need to, Gon always makes sure his friends are ok.
"Good," I say. "Thank you, really. He still needs to live his life..."
Gon raises an eyebrow. "Isn't he doing just that?"
"What? You mean taking care of a dying man?" Sarcasm invades my question.
He frowns. "He does it because he loves you." I feel guilty, yet again. And I start to wonder if Pietro felt this way when I spent hours watching over him, unable to do anything to help. Do they feel the same thing I felt? Irony, it's a cruel irony. It's a vicious cycle, my life.
"I love him too, that's why I want him to have a real life," I insist.
"Figures. Stubborn pairs with stubborn," Gon mutters, with a bitter smile.
I'm getting tired of talking. The bottle of juice is empty, and I feel cold. How much time have we been here, anyway? I try to ignore all this, and focus on a new topic. "So, are you and Killua together or what?"
My young friend blushes and puts a hand behind his head. "Well... Yeah..." he stutters. "How did you know?"
I roll my eyes. "Wild guess..." I really need to go to answer Nature's call. That's why I hate the damn juice... I look impatiently in the direction of my partner, and thankfully he's walking towards us. Killua not far behind. I grin when I see that he brings a jacket.
"It's getting cold," he says, as he grabs my left arm and shoves the sleeve on it. And then I raise my right arm and he does the same. He grabs the empty bottle and shakes it slightly, to confirm that it's empty. He roams through our mini-fridge and gets out a new bottle.
"I..." I'm embarrassed to say it in front of my other two friends. But he understands, and closes the fridge. He positions himself on my right side and I do my best to stand up. He looks at our friends and excuses us. "This is so embarrassing," I whisper.
"Don't say that," he scolds me. "Nothing wrong with having to urinate."
I snort. "I bet you've been waiting for this moment," I whisper in his ear, and I can see him blushing slightly. We finally get behind our car, and he helps me to unzip my pants. We've done this so many times, that I don't think of it as sexual. Neither does he.
Once I'm done, he takes out those special, hygienic handkerchiefs, to clean our hands. I feel useless again, it's almost a habit. After doing things I really should be doing by myself, I feel this way. Kurapika helps me to get into the car, and I look at him with a questioning look.
He smiles. "It's getting cold, and Killua said we could go to a hotel and stay there. The four of us." I sigh in relief, and nod. It's a great idea. He turns to our friends and looks back at me. "I'll go pick our things."
"Ok," I say, and make myself comfortable in my seat, in the car. I'm so tired, that I don't wait for him to come back. I simply fall asleep.
When I wake up, it's dark outside, and we're on the car. Kurapika is driving, and in front of us there is another car. Our car's lights don't reach out enough to illuminate it, but I can tell it's our friends' car. "Did you sleep well?"
I smile, even if he can't see me. "Yes. I really needed that," I confess. I move up a bit with the help of my right arm. But when I try to impulse myself up with my right leg, it doesn't respond. Luckily, this didn't require me to do any sudden movement, or Kurapika would have noticed by now. I just hope it's just temporary, because I'll have to walk out of the car sometime... "Where are we?"
"Lost," Kurapika said, in an annoyed tone. "Gon decided he wanted to take us to some hotel he thought he saw, instead of listening to Killua's suggestion... This, of course, was in the opposite direction... But we're back on the road, and Killua said it won't take us long until we reach the hotel he mentioned."
Wow. Have I slept that long? At least it gives me time to try to move my leg. After almost half an hour, I can move it again, but not as much as I could earlier today. Which could only mean that I'm getting worse. I try to calm myself, remembering that it took me a few months to lose control of my left side. It was very progressive. It could take the same amount of time if it happens to my right side...
My thoughts are interrupted as the car slows down and we see some lights on the side of the road. The big, bright sign reads: "LAST STOP". The car in front of us turns towards the parking lots in front of the motel, and Kurapika follows after it.
The cars are stopped in front of the main building, and Killua jumps out of the car and runs towards it. I just want to keep sleeping... "Don't fall asleep." Argh! Kurapika reads minds or something... I look at him, half asleep, half annoyed. "Just wait until we get to our room, I won't carry you as if you were a baby."
I grin. "Yes, mommy," I say in a small, high-pitched voice. He snorts and soon we see Killua running back to his car, motioning Kurapika to follow them. We follow after them for a few seconds and stop in front of a series of rooms.
My Kuruta parks in the special lot for disabled people, and I inwardly grunt at this. But it's better than parking a mile away from the door. Killua seems to be parking on a lot not too far from us. Kurapika opens the door and starts getting our things, as the young Zoldyck comes running towards us. I stay in the car, looking around.
"They had one room left," I hear him tell Kurapika. I sigh, and hope that the young men don't toss around like they did years ago. They open the room door and start taking the things of importance. And now Gon walks up to my side and opens the door.
"Hey, Leorio. Want me to help you?" He asks, and I don't have another choice, so I nod. I'm tired, so I simply let him put my right arm over his shoulder and lean on him. He takes all my weight as if I was a kitten, and I soon find myself inside the room, on a bed. "That was fast," he says, grinning.
Kurapika comes back from outside, I saw him going to the car when Gon helped me. He comes to me and hands me my staff. "Thanks," I say, looking at both him and Gon.
They go back to close the cars, while Killua got his bed ready. The beds are big enough for two, and since we all swing to the same side, it won't be a problem. Once Kurapika comes back, he starts pulling off my pants and putting on some sleeping shorts. Right, now I can't sleep naked... He helps me get my upper clothes off, and to get inside the covers, on the right side of the bed.
Once he's done, he shuts himself in the bathroom before Gon or Killua could protest. But he comes out quickly, dressed in his pajamas. Finally, I can hug him, much to his embarrassment. I lay on my left side, so my right arm is free to move and pull him closer to me. I'm too tired to think about anything else... The chuckles behind my back are the last thing I hear, because I soon fall asleep, again.
"Leorio, wake up," I hear the familiar voice call. "Don't be lazy," he says, and I open my eyes. "Hey," he whispers, with a small smile. I'm still hugging him, as if I'm protecting him from some monster.
"Hey," I say, but it comes out as a whisper too. I shrug this aside, I don't want to worry about anything. Just having him this close, with the sunlight covering his back, is enough. He looks like a little angel, and I feel so lucky to have him. "Where are they?"
"They went to buy food in the cafeteria," he explains, one of his small hands caressing my face. "This place has a lot of things, it's like a small village," I raise an eyebrow. "There's even an amusement park," he whispers in what I think it's an excited tone. Kurapika wants to go there? Might as well take him there... Ha! Taking him! More like taking me!
"Sounds fun," I say, and I lean my head closer to him, to kiss him. We brake apart a few seconds later, and he gets out of the bed. He goes through that routine of his. To the bathroom to get dressed and wash himself. He comes out and grabs new clothes for me, and helps me sit up. He becomes my living staff as he drags me to the bathroom, with the clothes under his left arm. I'm amazed at how he manages all these things.
He pulls down my shorts and my boxers, and helps me answer Nature's call. Not that I need him to do more than just not letting me fall, but I think he likes to help with more. He puts the lid of the toilet down, puts a towel on it, and helps me sit down. With another, wet towel and some soap, he cleans me up. And with a third towel, he helps me get dry.
Then he dresses me up. All these things are carefully planned beforehand, of course. I feel like a huge baby, but I enjoy it. He looks concentrated, and he smiles when our eyes meet. And I feel my heart getting warmer and warmer. I couldn't have asked for a better partner... Someone who I love and who loves me back...
Soon, we're out of the bathroom, and he gives me my staff. I feel much better than yesterday. I can really hold myself now. I sit down at the edge of our friends' bed, since Kurapika wants to make the bed. Then he tells me to sit on ours, so he gets theirs done.
My clothes are for a summer day. A Hawaiian shirt and some beige shorts. He has a plain shirt, instead. "I was thinking..." he says, as he finishes. "Maybe Killua was right." It takes me a few seconds to understand what he meant, but then I laugh with him.
"Right, honey," I say, and the door opens. "Welcome back!" I greet our friends.
"Whoa! Look who's up!" Gon exclaims as he carries some packs in his arms. From the smell, I can tell it's food. I realize that the day before I almost didn't eat, so now I'm really starving. Now that I thought of it, Kurapika didn't eat... At least, not while I was awake...
We soon find ourselves eating, chatting and having fun. It's just how I wanted! But there's something that can make it better. "How about we go to the amusement park? Didn't you say there was one out there?" I ask Kurapika. He nods, and I look at our friends.
"Great idea," Gon says, cheerfully. Killua yawns, making it obvious that he doesn't like it. But he says nothing. He's probably just trying to annoy us. Kurapika hurries to get the backpack ready, and I get up, leaning on my loyal staff.
Once we're outside, I smile. The day is beautiful, the sun shines and there are no clouds. There is a bit of wind that prevents the sun from burning too much. We walk towards the park, because I told them that in order to get better, I need to use my muscles. Which is, in part, true. Though, there is no getting better, in my case.
The amusement park is not really the best, but it's got a pretty big wheel, some spinning cups and a house of mirrors. The rest are really things for children, and I don't really think we'll lower ourselves to that... "Look at me! I'm a cowboy!" Gon exclaims a bit ahead of us, and we see him on a little, plastic horse. Too small for him.
I take that back, then... I don't really think I'll lower myself to that. Killua snickers, but then he discerns a chocolate vendor, and he runs off towards the cart. I feel like a father taking his two sons to a fair... Kurapika chuckles and tugs at my sleeve. He points at the wheel ahead of us. I grin, and nod. And we head over there.
Once it's our turn, we sit down on our spot. The wheel consists of many seats for two people. It doesn't look like it's going to turn around and drop ups to the ground, so I sit calmly, and place the staff between Kurapika and myself. We are actually the only ones riding it, and I feel self-conscious.
The 'ride' is slow and peaceful. Kurapika leans against me and I wonder what's gotten into him all of a sudden. I try not to blush. "So..." I try to start a conversation.
"Could we... not talk?" he asks softly, his head using my arm as a pillow. "Could we stay this way for a while?"
I grin. "Ok. Of course," I say, and look up at the sky. It's so peaceful. I never took my time to look at the natural beauty of things. Some birds pass by, making noises. It's like music. I close my eyes and breathe the fresh air.
"Leorio?" I look down at my partner, he's smiling, not looking at me. "I'm... I'm... glad I've met you." He glances at me, and grabs my hand. I can't describe how good it feels. Like we're being connected. "I don't know what I'm going to do..." he says, his voice breaking...
"You do whatever you want, move on and live a happy life," I say firmly, and squeeze his hand a bit.
"I don't think I can..." he whispers. "I rather die with you..." I frown, and sigh in exasperation.
I try to pick the right words, but I decide to say whatever comes into my mind at the moment. Maybe being careful will spoil what I want him to understand. "You can't say that!"
"It's easy for you to say, you don't seem to be taking it that bad... You'll die and I'll stay here... alone..." he snaps between sobs. Obviously, he won't look after what he's saying neither.
"You think I like to be like this? That I don't give a damn about what's going to happen to you? I'm scared, Kurapika! I'm scared because I don't want you to do anything stupid when I'm gone. I'm scared because I won't be able to take care of you!" I said, ignoring the tears that stream down my face. "And I don't know what to do... I feel useless..." I add, softly.
Kurapika looks at me, surprised. Pained. As our ride ends, and we reach the lower part, I start to feel dizzy. I try to ignore it.
"I'm sorry," I say, before he could speak up. "I'm sorry, Kurapika..." And then I can't stay awake any longer. I can't move, and I lose my balance as I try to get out of the chair... I can hear him scream my name, but can't see him...
"Is he going to be ok?"
"I don't know..."
"We could take him to a hospital."
"No. There's nothing anyone can do..."
"Kurapika..."
"Just... shut up, Gon... Please..."
I hear them... I open my eyes slowly, and I'm greeted with an joyful Gon. "He's awake!" he exclaims. Kurapika shoves him aside and starts checking if I'm ok. He brings a small lantern that he uses to focus on my eyes, as I taught him.
"Leorio?" he asks, and I nod.
"Hey..." I barely can hear myself. I realize that I can't really move any of my extremities. Just my head and neck, but even that is limited. "Where are we?"
"We're still at the motel," he explains. Killua comes into my range of vision and waves his hand, slightly.
"Hey, kid," I smile. Then I turn my gaze towards my partner, once again. "I'm thirsty..." He nods, and rushes to get my bottle. He puts it in front of me, and I avoid his gaze. "Um... I can't..." I whisper, knowing that it will let him know... I've got not much time left...
Kurapika gasps, but he goes back out of my range of vision. Probably to get a straw. He comes back and, indeed, the bottle now has a straw, which he puts close to my mouth. I sip, glad to be able to drink and swallow. Killua and Gon put me into a sitting position after I finish my drink. So that I don't choke...
They all sit on my bed, and play cards. As I asked them to. Because I didn't want Kurapika checking on me every five seconds. I smile, but I feel the muscles on my face slowly getting weaker. I know I'm dying, and I'm scared. I want to cry, but I decide against it. They must not see I'm scared, or they'll remember me with sadness. No, I want them to remember the good times we've shared.
I wanted us to be together, forever. Us, the four of us. I'm selfish, I know... Kurapika puts down his cards and looks at me, concerned. I smile, surprising myself and my own strength. Even while dying I have enough strength to help my friends. I start wondering what will their reactions be, when they notice I'm dead. That's a morbid thought, cruel, maybe. But I'm curious. Humans are curious of death...
When I can't breathe, I try to be quiet. I don't want them to see me struggle. I close my eyes and I feel how my heart stopped. This is my last second. I am aware that I'm still smiling. Though small, my smile will never fade. I will always comfort my friends... My love... I'll wait for you...
But please, take your time...
Notes: Well? I'm done. At last. It's the longest one-shot story I've ever written... And it's so depressing... Bah, I hope you enjoyed it. I was inspired by one of the episodes of ER, when the doctor took his daughter to the beach, because he was dying. I've never watched the series, but one day I was zapping channels and that episode was starting...
