I won't be submitting for a while, so I'm doing these submissions as soon as possible. Here's my holiday special evrybody!

Itachi stared at the gist in his hands. It wasn’t nicely wrapped, and was rather ugly looking, but I guess that was the type of presents that Deidara gave. Nothing but crap…

“It’s Christmas, Itachi! Put a smile on, yeah!”

Itachi slowly turned his head toward Deidara, and put his ugliest glare on his face. Deidara’s smile twitched. “Umm… okay then.”

Zetsu walked up over to Kisame, who was glowing over his new stuffed shark plushy that Sasori had given him for a Christmas present.

“Are there any females in our organization…?” Zetsu asked timidly.

“Why are you asking a retarded question, retard, yeah?” asked Deidara snottily.

“Well…” said Zetsu, “I found some mistletoe, and I don’t know who to use it on…”

“Dude, who would want to kiss you anyway?” asked Kisame.

“I don’t know…”

“Well, there aren’t any girls in our organization anyway.” noted Sasori.

“Well, then…” said Zetsu. He paused. “It’s such a shame to let some fine mistletoe go to waist…”

Itachi coughed. “Are you implying you’re gay, Zetsu? And you want one of us to share a kiss with you?”

There was silence.

“EEEWWWW!” yelled Deidara, “EEEEEEEWWWWWWWW! ZETSU’S A !”

“Dude, that’s wrong.” said Kisame, scrunching his face in disgust.

“I agree…” said Sasori, “I’m leaving. I have to puke…”

As he left, Zetsu shook his head. “I wasn’t implying…”

“Zetsu, I now know why everything you say is gay.” said Deidara.

“But…”

“No! You’re gross! Wait, actually, your not homo…” said Deidara, perking up.

“Thank you for noticing I’m completely…”

“Bi! You’re bi, yeah!”

“No! I’m straight! Straight!”

“Bull! You’re bi, yeah!”

“No, I’m not!”

Itachi stood up abruptly, making the others shut up.

“Just agree with him, Zetsu. He’ll shut up after that. He probably won’t remember anyway. He has ADHD and a short attention span.”

“I do not, yeah!” yelled Deidara.

“Actually, I think you are, girly man.” Said Kisame, opening another present, since their was nothing more he could do. It happened to be a Zetsu voodoo doll…

“Shut up, shark man. This retard is BI, is in a homo and hetero. That’s just gross!” retorted Deidara.

“Well, we can’t tell if you’re a male or female, so you’re bi to us since we don’t know if you like guys or girls…” said Itachi.

“WHAT!” screamed Deidara, “It’s obvious I’m a guy… right!”

There was a silence. No one wanted to answer him. The silence would’ve lasted FOREVER if Sasori hadn’t come back in.

“If Mr. Homo Zetsu still here?” he asked in his casual laid back voice.

“That’s it!” screamed Zetsu, making everyone turn to him, “I’ll admit it! I’m BI! I’ll prove it!”

He grabbed Deidara by the cloak and stomped out of the room, the mistletoe in his other hand.

The remaining three waited till they heard the screaming of Deidara, which sounded like a little girl. “That is just disturbing…” said Sasori.

“That’s sick and wrong…” said Kisame.

“In so many ways…” added Itachi.

Sasori grabbed his Christmas presents, which were a Zetsu voodoo doll, a ponsettia in a pot, and a kunai. He also grabbed Deidara’s stuff, which was another plant, some clay figures that looked like dancing women, and a kunai. After grabbing all the stuff, he said, “I think I’m going back to the apartment. I have to burn Deidara’s Santa hat…”

“His what?” asked Kisame. He had never heard of Santa.

“Long story…” said Itachi as Sasori left the room once more.

“Well, I think I’ll be heading back to, Itachi. See you later!” said Kisame, as he picked up his stuffed plushy shark, his Zetsu voodoo doll, and kunai. He walked out of the room, then yelled, “EW! HOMOS!”

Itachi stared at the doorway, and blinked. He then turned to his Christmas present from Deidara. He expected it to be another Zetsu voodoo doll, but when he opened the gift, he felt a vein pop into a stress mark. Actually, it was a bunch of veins, all over his head as stress marks. Very humorous…

The present was actually a hand-sewn doll of Sasuke, a younger version of Sasuke, with detachable clothes. There was also a note, which said:

Dear Itachi,

Merry Christmas! I knew you would want to kill me when you opened this, so I got the others to play along and delay so you were the only one left… Don’t kill me!

Love, Deidara X3

P.S. We all know you want to screw your little brother, you perverted pedophile you. Incest isn’t a crime, Itachi… killing is…then again, we’re all criminals…

P.S.S. You talk in your sleep…

“DEIDARA! YOU BASTARD! I’M GONNA YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!”

I want a Zetsu voodoo doll...