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Anime/Manga » Naruto » The Naruto News Show Special: OneShot
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Author of 36 Stories |
We interrupt your Christmas fanfiction reading for breaking news from the Naruto News Show.
By PikaFlash And the News Team
Christmas Edition: UchihaGate
Disclaimers: Almost all of the (fake) News Reports and ideas are mine. The Characters and scenes are not.
Naruto Uzumaki was at the news desk.
"If you have just joined us, our Weatherman, Rock Lee in the Weathercopter has reported a car chase," reported Naruto
3 Police Cars were chasing a 4 wheel drive while being recordedby the Weathercopter's camera.
Lee's V/O: That's right, I'm right over the car chase watching three or four police cars chasing a 4 wheel drive. It is said that we are not sure on why the police are chasing the driver, but it could it be possible that either food, Orochimaru or an idiot was involved.
"I'm right now near the road where the chase has taken place and I have received official information that the driver is known as Sasuke Uchiha, a ninja," reported Neji. "It turns out that the police are chasing him because he left his lunch at home. We're going to feed you through to a press conference with Police Spokesperson, Itachi Uchiha.
At a press conference, a stand with microphones was left empty with the press taking photos.
"And it appears that Itachi has not appeared yet," said Naruto. "At the moment, Ino Yamanaka is at the Uchiha Household."
"Yes, I'm right in the Uchiha household where this whole saga began. And I can see that it is where Sasuke's wife made the lunch, indicating that..."
"That's right, Naruto," said Neji. "But it appears that Lee has sent out Chouji Akimichi, daredevil reporter, on passing Lee's Cell Phone to Sasuke .aka 'The Duke' as he is going to catch up with Sasuke on the NaruCycle."
Chouji's V/O: "That's right I'm right about to reach Sasuke to pass Lee's Cell Phone and...oh shit!"
The bicycle that Chouji was riding on collides with the front of Sasuke's 4WD.
Naruto had a sort of-concern look on his face. "Chouji? Chouji? Are you still there? Did you pass the Cell Phone to Sasuke for us to talk to him?" No reply, so Naruto continued. "Never mind. Anyway, after the break, more on the Uchiha Car chase."
McAnimes!
"McAnimes has its own charity house."
A very disabled Anime kid was on a hospital bed with some burgers, fries and a drink.
"And these kids even have famous Anime Characters to endorse them, but...they told us they were busy. But that doesn't stop us from helping these kids."
A McAnimes worker pours more burgers and fries onto the hospital table.
"Come on, kid, you can do it."
"Mc...animes...the...only place...to eat...in the cough Anime world," said the patient in a dying voice before he closed his eyes.
End Ad Break
The Weathercopter was still watching the police chase the 4WD. Then the 4WD made a U-turn and the police cars were having trouble to make their own U turns and ended up driving in circles and the 4WD left the circle.
Voice of Sakura: I am and I'm trying to convince Sasuke-kun to take his lunch!
"Sorry to interrupt you there," said Naruto. "But we got Jiraya on the screen at the moment."
"I can't say much, other than why am I here?" asked Jiraya.
Chouji's V/O: "I'm at the moment going up a ramp to check for Sasuke's 4WD I lost and...oh shit!"
Chouji's motorbike crashed into a bus that appeared out of nowhere.
"Chouji? Chouji?" Naruto called out, but no reply. So, Naruto continued the report. "Looks like we have lost transmission with him again. Back to the chase..."
"Yes, Naruto, I'm with Sasuke's Neighbor, Hinata Hyuuga. What can you say about Sasuke?"
"I can't say much," said Hinata. "Other than he's quiet and he's concerned for reveng..."
"That's right, 'Duke' Sasuke's 4WD has just crossed a bridge!" called out Lee.
"That's right," reported Neji. "I'm with Shikamaru Nara, who nearly got run over by 'Duke' Sasuke's car. How are you?"
"I'm just shocked by what has happened," said Shikamaru, in a dull voice.
The empty stand with microphones is still there with the press taking some pictures.
"And it seems that Spokesperson Itachi Uchiha has not arrived yet," said Naruto. "Anyway, I have the timeline on what happened before the chase."
TimeLine:
1: Sakura makes packed lunch and leaves kitchen.
2: Sasuke walks past the lunch and forgets about it while Sakura was cleaning in another room.
3: Sasuke walks out of kitchen.
4: Sasuke leaves house.
5: Sasuke walks to the 4WD and drives off.
6: Sakura finds out and started chasing Sasuke carrying his lunch.
The Weathercopter was flying over the city bridge.
"Apparently, it is obvious that we have lost track of where the 4 wheel drive is. So, let's go straight into the World and Sports Report..."
"Anyway, before we go to the news, let's see the reaction from other Hidden Villages from our correspondent in Suna, Shino Aburame."
"When I get myself large again, I am going to..." Before Shino could finish his threat, a large fly swatter crushed Shino.
Naruto tosses away the fly swatter.
"And it seems that we have some technical difficulties with Shino. Anyway, on the news. There are still no clues on the hunt of the thief of a baby Pichu, although Orochimaru is likely to be involved."
Headline: Totaled Totodile
"And at the Tojoh Falls, a Totodile broke down and had to call for some assistance near the falls. Officer Jennys sent the Totodile to the nearest Pokemon Center where Nurse Joys investigate any links to Orochimaru."
Headline: SharpShooter links
"And ANBU have linked Galbadia's Irvine Kinneas to Orochimaru, as both men have been at some point eating at the same restaurant, leading ANBU to arrest two Wizards who were flying on broomsticks."
Headline: End of the Joey
"Yu-Gi-Oh Fans are facing a crisis when their banners were starting to run out of puns for Joey Wheeler, from 'Joey Wheels in the Victory', to 'Wheeler of the moment', to 'He will Wheel Us nicely' and finally "Go Joey". Fans have blamed Orochimaru for the situation."
Breaking News: Daring Switcharoo.
"Back on the chase of Sasuke Uchiha, somehow 'Duke' Sasuke has actually changed his transportation in a daring attempt to avoid the police."
Lee's V/O: That's right, and now there are plans on giving Sasuke my cell phone by hanging Chouji down the Weathercopter and passing Sasuke the phone.
The Weathercopter catches up with the desert buggy and Chouji was tied to the Weathercopter carrying a cell phone.
"Are you in there, Chouji?"
Sasuke (on phone): What the f-!k! What are you doing in my car?
"Chouji, pass the Cell Phone to Sasuke," said Naruto. Then he proceeds with the interview. "Mr. Uchiha, I'm Naruto Uzumaki from the Naruto News Show."
Sasuke: Why are the cops and that chopper following me for?
"Your wife is chasing after you because you forgot your lunch."
Sasuke (on Phone): That annoying pink-haired woman! Why did she have to go all this way to pass me my lunch!
Sasuke: Now you see what you made me do! F-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-k!
The desert buggy drives off the cliff.
Breaking News: Uchiha-Highway Aftermath
"What a horrible aftermath for the UchihaGate chase," reported Naruto. "What all started from a ninja forgetting to take his lunch, ended up in tragedy on Christmas. Chouji also suffered the same fate as Sasuke after separating himself from the Weathercopter when forcefully entering Sasuke's getaway buggy to give Sasuke Lee's Cell Phone. For specific details on the chase, read my latest 'Icha Icha' published book, 'UchihaGate', the day where Lunch lost its innocence and changed the world. In my humble opinio..."
And that concludes our live coverage of the Naruto News Show. We will restore you back to your normal Fanfiction reading.
