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Chapter 6

Lulled to sleep by the sound of raindrops, Sakura dreamt.

Once upon a time, Sakura's dreams had not been her own. It had been a very long time ago, and she could still remember the first time Clow Reed had come to her in dreams. In these dreams, they sometimes strode through a garden together, the scent of violets and roses and cherry blossoms and a thousand other plants taking turns. The garden was always beautiful, and they did not always have anything to say to each other.

And then her Judgement and her Test were over, the Clow Cards had become Sakura Cards, and Clow no longer came to her. It was as if the last lingering traces of his spirit, which had had unfinished business, felt no more need to remain.

Sakura dreamt, and once again she stood in the garden. It seemed a timeless place; Sakura could've sworn that the cherry blossoms for which she was named never ceased to fall, never passed out of season. Clow sat crosslegged before a patchwork quilt spread out on the grass, a bread roll and teacup on a plate in front of him. He was smiling; Sakura could not, at the moment, remember a time when he was not.

"Are you thirsty?" he asked, gesturing towards a second teacup that Sakura had not noticed before.

Sakura shook her head. "I'm dreaming. I don't think I could be thirsty."

Clow inclined his head. "You're dreaming; you may be whatever you imagine yourself to be. At least, I've always found it to be so."

Sakura found herself answering his smile. It was difficult not to. "In that case, I think I will imagine myself not thirsty, but happy to share a cup of tea with you."

The ancient mage gestured, and there was tea in Sakura's cup. "Your imagination warms me as the afternoon sun. Let us talk, Sakura. It has been a long time."

Sakura settled herself automatically into /seiza/, her legs tucked neatly under her. She tasted the tea, and was not at all surprised that it was good. "No kidding. What should we talk about?"

"What indeed." Clow sipped delicately at his tea, seeming to barely even taste it, as if it was more a gesture than a drink. "You are troubled."

"And you, sir, are a mindreader."

Clow allowed himself the briefest of chuckles. "Everyone always thought so. I've sometimes found it useful not to disabuse them of the notion."

Sakura chewed on that non-answer. "What do you do?" she finally asked.

"I'm afraid I don't follow."

A fleeting smile passed Sakura's lips. "Okay, so you're not a mindreader. Let me rephrase that. You were alive for a long time."

"Long enough."

"So what did you do with all the time? What do mages do when they graduate high school and want to get on with their life, get a job, have a family, and all that?"

The Great Clow Reed appeared to have momentary difficulty breathing his tea. Coughing, he waved his hand before him. "No, no, I'm not laughing at you, your question merely caught me off-guard. I wish I had answers for you, Sakura. You see, I never led the sort of dual life that you find yourself in now. I never went to a school for regular children, never 'graduated', as you put it, or anything of the sort. What I am, I have always known and always been."

Sakura's emotions must have shown on her face, because Clow reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Let us walk."

They did so, taking the same path as they always had before, and in silence. Eventually, they stopped before a great tree, and Clow turned to look at Sakura with pride in his eyes.

"My life was devoted to magic, Sakura. From the moment I was born, I had power. It was in my very essence, passed down to me by both parents in something that goes far deeper than what you now understand as 'genetics'. Just as it was with you." Clow's face then fell; he seemed far more ancient than imaginable, as if the weight of time's passage was still sinking in. "You live, unfortunately, in a day and age where it is increasingly more difficult to conceal magery. I am no longer of this world; much of what I know of present day, I know through you. The only mages that I know still to thrive, organized, are my descendants-the Li Clan."

Sakura's expression darkened. "The Li Clan."

Clow gave her a pointed look. "That avenue is not wholly closed to you."

"The Li Clan," Sakura said tightly, "wants nothing more to do with me. The Clow Cards are Clow Cards no longer, and they have their heir."

Clow's eyes turned compassionately on her. "If you say so. But they are a resource. You would do well not to burn your bridges."

"My bridges were burned long ago, Clow."

"Again, if you say so."

Sakura stared at him. "I do," she answered, not sounding wholly convinced herself.

"Well then. You asked what I did with my time." Sakura nodded, and Clow turned, walking towards the tree at which they'd stopped. "Many of my days were spent much as you see me now. I have found," he said as he settled himself within the roots, "that many of your troubles are eased by occasionally stepping outside of your routine, and resting within the shade of a pine tree."

Sakura continued staring at Clow, though her gaze had a thoughtful quality to it now. "You," she said finally, "are a very peculiar man."

"Were."

"Were," Sakura agreed.

Clow lifted an eyebrow. "Indeed." The eyebrow stayed suspended there for a moment, and then both of his eyes slid closed. "I've often had that very thought myself."

Sakura nodded. "Thank you," she said, and awoke.

Opening her eyes, Sakura was not surprised when the early morning sun spilled through her window, providing a pleasant sort of heat on her legs; somehow the dreams of Clow always managed to carry her through the entire night, no matter how short or long they were. She rolled over onto her side and fumbled groggily for the alarm clock, managing to tip it towards her after a few tries.

Sakura still had a few minutes before she needed to get up, and she took advantage of it, shutting off the alarm clock. She rolled back and laced her fingers behind her head, and tried to focus her thoughts and remember everything she and Clow discussed.

Clow, she decided, had been as helpful as always. Which is to say not at all; Sakura was convinced that part of the mage training that she never received was the part where they taught you how to conduct an entire conversation without saying anything at all of substance.

"Well, ain't /someone/ up early. So what did Clow have to say?"

Sakura lifted her head from the pillow and stared down at Kero, whose voice had just wafted out of her dresser drawer. "What makes you think I had a Clow dream?"

Kero snorted. "Because it's the only time you /ever/ wake up before your alarm goes off. Assuming it does at all."

"That's not /always/ true. Sometimes the dreams themselves have made me wake up late."

"And she dodges well, but not well enough." Kero floated up out of the drawer and gave Sakura a knowing look. "I read it in the Daily Yomiyuri, what do you think? Now spill."

"This must be what it's like to have a mother," Sakura said, sinking below the covers and pulling them over her head.

Kero waited. Eventually, a few inches of messy brown hair and bright green eyes peeked back out.

"Okay. Basically, he said that things were different nowadays, and that there wasn't much advice he could give me on being a mage-except to not burn my bridges with the Li Clan, since they were the only organized mages he knew about."

Kero's little head bobbed. "He's right, ya know."

"Kero, we've /had/ this discussion. I have no life with the Li Clan. Syaoran's married and spawning."

Flying over to the closet, Kero began pulling Sakura's school uniform off of hangers for her. "I don't think that's what he was talking about. You asked him for help on bein' a mage, I assume. Well, he ain't sayin' you need to go back and try to marry Syaoran or some other Li boy... maybe you oughta ask /them/ for advice."

"Ask the Li Clan for advice." The words in Sakura's mouth tasted about as bad as they sounded to her.

Kero paused. "Yeah. Which one of these do you wanna wear?"

"The shorter one. Kero, I'd sooner strip naked and soar around school with the Fly Card."

"Really?" Kero asked deadpan.

Sakura stopped dead in her tracks, the skirt of her /seifuku/ halfway on, and nearly tripped right over. "No, not /really/! Look, even if the Li Clan was willing, and I was willing, they'd just be figuring out ways to use me. And I don't particularly feel like being used."

Kero shrugged, which was an odd-looking gesture for a stuffed animal with almost no shoulders. "Fair enough. But I don't think Clow'd tell you to do something that wasn't in your best interest. You ain't so naive anymore, and I credit you with the sense to know if you was bein' played."

Sakura nodded thoughtfully. "I suppose, but still."

Kero lifted his nose to the air and made a great dramatic gesture of sniffing.

"That," Sakura observed, "would be my father starting breakfast."

The thought seemed to brighten Kero considerably. "Maybe he'll make /okonomiyaki/ this morning!"

"That'd be nice." Sakura ran a comb through her hair, and pinned it into place. Satisfied with the result, she turned to leave, and stopped in the doorway. "Kero?"

"Yeah?"

"Did Clow ever spend much time sitting under pine trees?"

Kero blinked owlishly. "I suppose. The house in Hong Kong was up a little bit on the mountain, and there were a whole stinking lot of trees there. Clow really liked to go outside and read. Why?"

Sakura tapped the doorknob with her fingertip a few times in thought, and then turned. "Nothing. Anyway, I'll see you later."

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Notes:
The /seiza/ position is a traditional Japanese sitting position. In essence, you sit with your knees just slightly apart, your back straight, without putting your weight on your heels. It is highly uncomfortable for most people who are not used to it to sit like this for any length of time.