A/N Christmas one-shot, though it's...a day after New Year's. Heh. I also suspsect I have a weird things for butterfly one-shots. To my loyal readers, hold on, the next chap will be updated soon, thanks for everything!

Hope you enjoy all the same, Happy Holidays!

"Just you sing that one more time, Greggo."

Greg looked to the towering CSI before him and sheepishly grinned, holding up his hands in defeat.

"Hey Tex, no need to get defensive."

He plopped a festive santa hat on Nick's head before bouncing around to spread Christmas cheer with the rest of the CSI's. Nick pulled the hat off his head and looked at it dubiously. What the hell?

"Hey Nicky, if you keep that on, I'll wear mine."

Nick looked to see a bemused Warrick holding up a headband with mistletoe dangling in front. They looked at each other before breaking into laughter and donned their silly, Greg-of-a-kind hats.

"Sara, one for you too."

"No, no holly."

"Oh come on, Catherine's wearing antlers."

Sara looked over and a significant look passed between the two women. Catherine mouthed a silent 'for Lindsey' and Sara gave a strained grin. She plucked the headband out of Greg's hands and jammed it on his head instead.

"Aw, Sara…"

But Sara was in no mood for any of the young CSI's frantic energy. Her stomach felt like it was twisting itself into a knot. She held the small present in her hands and walked over to Grissom's office. He would be hiding in there to get away from Greg and the too cheery bow on his head.

"Griss?"

Grissom jumped from behind his desk but calmed when he saw it was only Sara. She closed the door softly behind her and put on her best, casual smile. She placed the gift on his desk.

"Merry Christmas."

"You too, Sara."

"What're you doing?"

Grissom held up the tiny entomology jar.

"An entomology professor I know is in town. He gave me this to look at."

"It's beautiful."

Inside a tiny butterfly had settled against the glass surface and gently beat its wings, conceding defeat in the crystal calm. It was a splash of color in the bleak office monochrome.

Sara's plan had been to just give him his present, give holiday greetings, and walk out. It would have been nice all around, she would have been able to make full good of her excuse to drop by for small talk and that would be it. But her smile was fading now, and she just wasn't good at keeping it up when she wasn't feeling it.

"Is that what you do during your holidays? Examine insects?"

He took off his glasses and pinned her down with a vibrant blue stare.

"Sara…"

"You're alone, and you have nothing. Which also means…you've got nothing to lose."

She sighed inwardly, she really wished it hadn't come to it, but damn her Sidle blood if she couldn't keep but blurting things out. Her chest felt constricted and she was struck with a sudden flash of vertigo. Through the haze she felt her deepest rage pushing out through her lips silently.

You're miserable, and you've made me miserable too.

Grissom who could read lips, was so startled that the glass jar slipped from his fingers and crashed to the floor. He stared at her stony face a moment longer before having to divert his gaze to the broken glass by his feet.

The butterfly flapped frantically about the room as Grissom tried to carefully cage it between his fingers. It hesitated a moment longer before flying right out the open window.

Outside with the snow falling lightly from the sky, the butterfly froze right up and mid-flight, stopped in the air like a tiny statue and fell to the ground. Grissom looked despairingly out the window at the delicate corpse.

"Why would it go out, it doesn't like the cold."

"It's even colder wherever you are."

Before Grissom could turn around, Sara had already left the room. Fleeing into another dangerous world, knowing that staying where she already was, infinitely, was far worse.