I am on the edge of writers block: I am a fighter though…

Without further ado…………

--

Aqui

--

--

Here I stand utterly helpless,

Awaiting your review

Here I am, surveyed harshly

If only you knew

Here we go, trial and tribulation

What shall I do?

--

--

--

“Sorry man, I can’t live with a baby.”

Dai held the small bundle closer, “So, you gonna kick us out like they did Jesus?”

Shaking his head, Max smiled mirthlessly, “Man, Jesus at least had a mother and a barn or shed or whateva to sleep in. You, man, you only got this room that we share and I can’t live wit a baby.”

Wait, wait, something inside of Dai’s mind called out to him. WAIT! How did this happen, when had his world changed so suddenly? Breathing deeply and slowly lowering himself onto his bed, Dai glanced down at the bundle in his arms. A part of him was wondering why he hadn’t tried to hide his newborn daughter from his roommate?

Regretting his previous actions, Dai made room for his daughter. “I think I need to take her to the hospital or something. She needs a birth certificate and a check up and and…”

Dai looked up confused, “I have no idea what else she might need.”

“Man,” Max sat down opposite him shaking his dreaded head. “I’ll go wit you and everything but if the RA gets wind of her, that’ll be the end of us both; or at least you. I know that you ain’t no minor, so Social Services won’t take her from you but trust me, it would be better if they never get involved or that little baby of yours will go live with some foster family.”

Dai shivered and tried not to allow his mind to wonder. Strangers taking care of his little girl? Never, not as long as he lived.

Rising, Max walked over to Dai and clasped his shoulder. “I’ll go wit you. If you want.”

Dai nodded, “I’d like that. I guess I’ll worry about coach later.”

“Oh, yeah, definitely later.” Max murmured as he lead the way to the door Dai following suit.

--

--

--

--

My life is a lie and I revel in it. Kari raised her eyes to meet her fiancé. Everything she knew could be much worse: her friends could know her true character. Tai still hadn’t spilled the beans not that he could have even if he had wanted to.

“Kari?” Tai called to her softly as he leaned against her bedroom door frame. He was back from school. For the moment, Tai was commuting from home to university because of her parent’s inability to trust that Tai could take care of himself alone in his dorm room. Kari wasn’t sure if this was a good thing or a bad thing. Sooner or later, someone was going to notice that Tai was completely normal and then what? What would she or could she do to stop them from finding out why Tai had fallen in the first place? As usual, Tai was saving her, but Kari could not help but wonder how long he could try to save her from herself.

Feigning ignorance, Kari met Tai’s glassy gaze. “Yes, Tai, you called?”

Grunting and murmuring under his breath, Tai dragged himself further into Kari’s lair and closed the door for privacy. “We need to talk,” Tai whispered. Kari could tell from his demeanor that he was serious. He had made attempts to speak to her before, but he had never come this close to talking to her on a one on one basis.

Smiling as much as her tense face would allow, Kari motioned to her bed. Kari turned in her chair at her desk. The setting of the room reminded her of a time long ago when the Digi world had been threatened by Malomyotismon and his flunkies. Kari remembered quite clearly that Tai had been sitting where she was sitting now and Kari had been sitting on her bed. They had been discussing whether or not her teammates the new additions to the original digidestined, were ready for the war ahead. Kari recalled fondly how they had been ready and how they had won all thanks to Daisuke. A warm presence settled in Kari’s chest. She had never felt so calm and reassured as she had been when Davis had proclaimed his dream of owning a franchise.

Nowadays, Kari wasn’t sure what Dai’s future plans were. Actually, she didn’t even know her own future goals. Her teachers were always pressing for her and all of her classmates to go to university, but the reality was that Kari was not sure if university was really for her. Being manipulative had its perks, but for the time being Kari wasn’t sure what she wanted.

Kari was brought back to reality by Tai as he made sounds of adjustment in his throat. Kari raised herself to her full seated height waiting for him to begin.

"I realized something, when I was in the hospital," Tai spoke softly.

Kari opened her mouth to speak. She wasn’t sure what she was about to say, but she knew that she needed time to think. If Tai left then their secret would remain between the two of them. There was no reason for anyone else to know about that his accident was not really an accident.

"Tai you're not about to come clean are you?" Kari bit her lower lip in anticipation. Takeru couldn't know, he would never look at her the same. He would never forgive her. The single candle burning with the hope for the future felt like it was flickering in the wind of her paranoia.

"Kari, do you feel any different?" Tai raised his eyes to meet hers.

Never allowing her eyes to leave his, Kari spoke quietly, "I feel the same."

"So, what we did didn't even matter?"

Kari restlessly raised her hands to run through her elongated brown hair. Silence ensued and there was no way Kari would voluntarily break it. If she lost Tai who would help her fight? who would stand by her side? Gatomon knew the truth and was on the verge of becoming her moral confidant. She had tried cornering Kari almost every free chance she got, but Kari was cunning and she did all that she could to avoid her.

Kari knew Gatomon understood her motives, but the last thing Kari wanted right now was another load dumped onto her guilty conscience. Didn't she already have a enough to bare?

Feeling something warm and wet slide down her face, Kari closed her eyes. She was crying and she didn't know what to do or how to stop the avalanche she had pressured into motion. Nothing was as it seemed and Kari was sure that she wasn't the only one in control of the relationship she had with Takeru. No, Takeru had the same amount of responsibility she had. Perhaps if she left it all to him to figure out. To chose whether or not he should toss her aside or keep her. Maybe she ought to throw the ball in Takeru's court and see how he would deal with the situation at hand.

"Kari," Tai's voice sounded closer than it had when her eyes were open.

"Yes, Tai?" Kari whispered, her eyes still closed.

"You have to talk about this. You can't go at it alone. I should know, I needed someone to talk to and I found that someone. You know it is not that bad once you try and then the next thing you know you're in the clear."

Kari felt hands gently land on her knees, "Please, Kari, you can't give up. He is out there somewher and he is waiting for you. Believe it or not, Dai may be thick but I think even he knew true love when he met you. You just have to hold on and wait. I'll-" Tai hesitated and all Kari could hear for a few moments was his labored breathing.

When Tai began again, his voice was weighed heavily by emotion, "Kari, I will wait with you. You won't be alone. I won't tell anyone, it will just be between you and I. No one else will know and I'll be here for you. Forever and for alway. I promise on my crest of courage that I will be there for you, even when you think no will be."

Lifting her eye lids to meet her elder brother's eyes, Kari nod before gesturing to Tai her next move. She slid off her seat and kneeled next to him. "We'll make a vow then?"

"Yes, a vow to one another." Tai gave her a watery smile, "But not until death do we part, okay?"

"Yes," Kari whispered her own voice heightened by emotion. They were sibblings and not lovers after all. Only time would tell before Kari and Tai could come with a plan B to counter the affects of plan A.

--

--

--

--

--

“Daisuke Motomiya,” the nurse called softly as she glanced down at her clipboard and around the St. Anne’s Pediatric Ward sitting room. Running his hands over his tense arms, Dai stood. Max stood up beside him as the nurse approached. Dai noticed that her name tag said Alice.

Clearing his throat, Dai shakily raised his hand to meet her expectant one. “Hello, I am Daisuke and this is my roommate Max.

The nurse gave him a firm handshake before turning to greet Max. “It is a pleasure, but I’m sure you’d like to be visiting your daughter and the doctor on duty is ready to see you. If you would please follow me,” Alice gestured to the hallway beyond the waiting room.

Once there, they reached another door and Dai was confronted with the sight of many small infants in clear cribs on the other side of a glass wall. Pausing to satisfy his curiosity, Dai was gently pushed by Max to keep speed with the nurse who was entering an access code into a control panel beside the entrance to the glass walled room.

At the sight of Dai curious frown Alice spoke, “It is for their protection. Sometimes deranged people –who can’t have children of their own- take it upon themselves to find or shall I say adopt a child. It all has something to do with filling the empty void within or some bullshit like that.” Alice shrugged as she began to wash her hands and gestured for the men to do the same.

“Why not just…ah…have a sur-ro-gate?” Dai asked as he desperately grasped the English terminology for the words that floated in his home tongue in his mind.

“How the hell should I know? All I do know is that infants like your daughter want –need- to be brought up by their real parent, you know?”

Dai met Alice’s eyes and he understood the concern and annoyance there. She looked tired and from what Max had been explaining to him about American hospitals, she probably worked a twenty something hour shift. Breaks were probably rare and she’d probably dealt with her fair share of rude patients and possibly other staff members. Dai didn’t want to make her night any harder or aggravating that it most likely already was.

Gesturing toward the room beyond the wash station, Dai and Max were given blue open-backed gowns to wear over their clothes. Alice was wearing a purple colored uniform. Max had also explained to Dai the special outfits nurses wore and how they were color coded according to their station in the hospital. Apparently, purple was for the nurses who took care over the newborns.

Seeing a balding man up ahead, Dai slowly advanced. The room was warm and cozy. Nearly every clear crib was holding an infant within. Two other nurses held softly crying babes in their arms soothing them so as not to disturb the other sleeping infants. Standing near his own sleeping daughter, Dai’s breath caught. She was the most beautiful being he had ever laid eyes on. He couldn’t understand all that the doctor was saying because his eyes had clouded with tears and his mind was searching for a name to call her by.

--

--

--

When I fail, how will you reach me?

Will you catch when I fall?

How can I satisfy your desires?

When you expect me to treat you like a doll?

Lust rages in me imitating a fire.

Fascination barely restrains my actions.

Narc is diving off the tip of my tongue

You can’t stop the consequences

When you’ve fired the gun

--

--

--

“So,” Takeru murmured as he walked his fingers along the edge of Kari exposed shoulders.

“So,” Kari mimicked trying to conceal the bile that was rising to meet Takeru’s awaiting lips. She tried not to watch as his tongue glided over the desert barren lips attached to Takeru’s angular face. Now was not the time for her to be complaining. She had only herself to blame.

Kari had invited herself over to Takeru's apartment when she knew that his mother would be out of town. She had spiked his drink when he'd left the room to find his yearbook from freshman year. They had been going through it conversing about old memories and high school disasters and mishaps friends and associates had gone though. Time was lost to them as the night deepened.

Kari was sure that her mother's anti-depressant was slowly kicking in. He would be in a dream like state soon. Kari knew that what she was doing was wrong, but she needed answers and she needed them now. If Takeru did love her as he had once proclaimed then he would admit anything to her under the influence drugs. She just needed to know where she stood in his heart of hearts.

--

--

--

People, please, don’t think I don’t know what it is like to wait for an update. I know the turmoil and the agitation that sets in.

I do hold fast to my vow to finish this fic and I will do so before I finish any of my other ones.

Rest assure and stay tuned!