|Days Like These
Author: Tinkering PM
After seven years together Harry finally wants more from his relationship with Draco Malfoy.Unfortunately Draco isn't ready to give it and when it turns out it's too late, turns on him.Sev is there for him but it's not that easy to leave a Malfoy.Rated: Fiction M - English - Angst/Romance - Harry P. & Severus S. - Chapters: 18 - Words: 76,313 - Reviews: 388 - Favs: 506 - Follows: 283 - Updated: 04-16-08 - Published: 01-06-06 - Status: Complete - id: 2740165
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Disclaimer: I wrote this all on my own. However, I am using characters made by other people soo...they aren't mine, I don't own them, I make no profit off them, blah blah blah yada yada.
AN: My newest story and actually the closest to being done. Hope you like it.
Days Like These
It was days like these. Days like this made him wonder if he was still content with his life because at this moment he didn't feel so content…
"Sufficio!" Harry dragged in a breath and stiffened as the suffocation spell hit the pillar he was hiding behind.
Yes, some missions did go wrong. This had happened before and it would probably happen again with his line of work, nothing was assured. But he was getting older dammit! It was risks like this he couldn't take anymore!
Clenching his wand in his teeth, Harry gathered his magic in his fists, in two tight little balls. He peeked around quickly as a cutting hex flew past his face and threw out the balls of power. He heard a yelp as one or more of the spells connected with his target and rolled across the floor while the dark wizard was preoccupied and got to a new pillar, with a better angle.
He had to learn to stop taking these single person missions, Harry shook his head, handling his wand again.
"Stupefy!" The man might be hurting from the stinging hexes but he definitely was not down.
"Purgio Conicio!" Harry's eyes widened in shock at the Dark Arts spell hurtling to him and he just got his upper body behind the pillar enough to save himself from a barrage of flying knives. Unfortunately, his thigh was not as lucky.
Harry groaned, pained as the knife sunk into muscle before disappearing leaving his wound to bleed freely. That was what he really hated about that spell. He murmured one to bandage the wound and hit his head against the pillar lightly before focusing again. This had to stop if he wanted to get home to his lover tonight. He couldn't take anymore of this.
Gathering a small amount of his full power, Harry thought the of the petrify spell and let out his power in a controlled ripple-effect wave. Harry gathered the remains of his magic back to him as the power he'd released ebbed and looked back around the pillar, tiredly.
After the whole house and grounds of the battle were checked it was found Harry had broke an illegal wand distribution ring. Another two men were found in the dungeons of the mansion with the loot and it was yet another sparkling addition to Harry's 100 success rate.
"Harry!" He stepped out of the Floo and brushed himself down, looking up tiredly at his smiling lover, who was making his way to him from the study. "I heard on the Wireless. I really didn't expect you home so soon…I've still been writing." Harry angled up his head and sighed softly as pillow-soft lips brushed his gently. His eyes opened with a new spark of life as his lover pulled away. "Are you okay?"
"Mm." Harry wrapped his arms around the waist of the slightly taller body in front of his and held on tight. "Sometimes I hate my job."
"As you've been saying for the past five years. And the two before that when you were an Auror." A teasing smirk replied to Harry's dark scowl.
"I mean it this time." Harry frowned.
"You've meant it for the past five years and you still haven't quit. So I doubt you're going to now." Harry moaned soundlessly at the fingers raking across his scalp. "How about a little relaxation?" His lover's body rubbed tantalizingly against his and his prick twitched and hardened slowly as the assault continued.
"Ah…ahhh." Maybe…maybe he did just need to relax? "Bed then." He whispered lowly. He wriggled slowly out of the arms holding him and made his way up the staircase and along corridors to their bedroom stripping as he went, clothes dropping behind him. By the time he made it into the bedroom he was naked and he turned his back to the fluffy queen sized four poster bed before dropping onto it.
"Mmhmm," His lover somehow still had more sinewy body mass than he did considering their professions and his heavier body settled onto Harry's, soothing him. Harry shut his eyes and breathed in the smell of mint and vanilla with another satisfied sigh. "Shall I make it all better?"
"Yes." Harry opened heavy eyes. "I need you." He looked up into Draco's darkened mercury eyes and pulled him down for a kiss grinding their hips together. And this was how the bad days always ended. But perhaps…maybe, they weren't that bad. He moaned softly as he was prepared and entered, cried out softly as he came, shuddering against the blonde and relaxed bonelessly in tight arms as he was held in his afterglow. Maybe it wasn't a bad day at all.
He knew Draco had gotten up in the middle of the night to keep writing where Harry had interrupted but he was just so sweet to come back. Harry knew he was working on something really important right now. But he always supported Harry with his work problems. Harry frowned down at the blonde though as he sat up. This was a serious problem though.
All joking aside, Harry was ready to settle down. He didn't want to be a Hit Wizard anymore. He felt like a petulant little child for it but…that was what everyone had wanted him to do! Even Draco, when they had realized the Auror work would be dead end until Harry was at least forty and the current Head moved on. As a Hit Wizard each person was individual and Harry was the best. But hell! He and Draco had been together for seven years…since school had ended when they'd dated in seventh year, and they still weren't Bonded yet! He was admittedly, beginning to get frustrated.
He'd wanted to do it after they'd been together three years. Just around the change in job area from Auror to Hit Wizard. He hadn't really been totally behind the idea and figured if he didn't want to do that he could settle down with his lover. No, Draco wasn't ready. It was too early. He didn't want to be Bonded yet. And the other thing Harry wanted…kids. He didn't want an heir yet. His father wasn't here to pressure him so why rush into things? He'd tried again two years ago. Draco felt more secure in their relationship then…but, yes another but, kids would hamper their love. He'd been a bit hurt at that. Kids wouldn't hamper it. Kids would make it grow. Nothing could make your heart swell more than having your own family. But no, he was quite satisfied with their sex life just the way it was and after that he'd found himself having to cast a contraceptive spell every time they had sex. They had stopped after awhile as Harry decided he could wait some more time for Draco to come around. But now…he wanted kids now. He wanted his family together now. He wanted to not be afraid he was going to die every day for something he didn't even like!
"Hey," Harry blinked and looked down at Draco's sleepy face. "You look like you're thinking hard. And it's not about something good." He wriggled closer to Harry's body under the sheets. "Talk to me."
Harry bit his lip and looked down at the sheets pooled around his hips, wringing his hands. "Do you want to Bond with me yet?"
Draco's gray eyes widened in surprise. He paused and ruffled his hair with a hesitant hand. "Harry…I thought you were…okay with us, now."
Harry looked up, luminous green eyes hurt. "I'm okay with it. But I don't want it to be just okay. I want us to be a family properly." He fisted the sheets and said tightly, "I want kids."
"I want all that too! But," Draco smiled tentatively and sat up with Harry. "Remember we talked about this already? When you get promoted to Head of the Hit Wizard Department and you've served for a couple of years, I'll be finished the books I'm working on by then and we can retire comfortably together at," Draco waved a hand vaguely. "Between thirty-five and forty! Then we can have our family and be comfortable with each other, love."
"With the best years of our lives gone. And I, I'd have wasted my life on something I don't even like doing!"
Draco laughed. "Harry is that what this is about again?" He ignored Harry's frowning face and kissed him slowly, pulling away when he felt Harry responding. "You don't really hate your job that much…" He smirked as he straddled Harry and his hands migrated under the sheets.
"Draco…" He moaned softly against his will as his body responded to the nimble hands. Emerald eyes fluttered shut as Harry bucked gently into the hands fisting his growing arousal.
"Come on Harry…don't start this again." Draco moved in closer, arms going to wrap around Harry's neck as he pushed their groins together. "We already worked this out. And if you really want to be Bonded that badly I guess we can do it…hmm, how about at thirty?" Draco sucked on the corner of Harry's mouth.
Could he give in again? Let Draco have his way again? He groaned under his lover, having his way with him again. Yes. As always, yes.
Draco winced looking up from the paper his Dicta-Quill was writing on and he stopped it and the magically operated typewriter as he got up from his work to go comfort Harry again. It was probably just another risky operation at work he needed to be distracted from for a bit. The problem with these days though were they always brought him home in a bad mood and so soon after their last talk about Bonding and kids…it was so not the time for this to happen.
"Harry?" Draco knocked on the door before opening it a split and sticking his head in. He was shocked to find Harry wasn't sitting petulantly on the bed as was routine…but huddled in a corner by their wardrobe, crying. And buggering hell, he hadn't seen Harry cry since the first time he'd refused to Bond to him.
"Oh bugger," Draco whispered under his breath, pushing the door open. He shut the door behind himself with a quiet click and Harry still didn't look up as he started towards him. With his slacks-encased legs pulled up and hugged to his chest, red face crying into his thighs, he looked messed up.
"Red shirts and red faces don't look good together Harry." Draco whispered, kneeling next to him. Nothing. Darn. "Umm, where are your robes?" Harry just hiccuped, lifting his teary face and turned it away from him to look at the wall he was pressed against. "Harry…what happened?"
A wet sniffle. "I…I-killed…two…guys. By accident."
Draco blinked. "Oh. Oh shit. Are you suspended or something? Oh Merlin! You don't have a trial do you? It was within the line of duty right? Do I have to pay a fine?"
Harry looked up with an angry sniff. "They were Dark Wizards. All I have is some private disciplinary hearing within the Auror Department. That's not it!"
'It' was the reason why he was crying. Draco sat back on his heels carefully.
"Then what's wrong love?"
"I lost control!" Harry swiped angrily at his face. "That's the only reason I'm having a disciplinary hearing at all. They could care less about the two men! But…I lost control." His full bottom lip trembled and Draco cringed at the thought of more waterworks.
"They were Dark Wizards love. They…probably deserved what they got. And I know that doesn't make you feel any better but you did it to protect yourself and the Wizarding world. That's your job. And no one knows you lost control right? You can say you did it on purpose…"
"But that wasn't why I did it." Harry whispered raspy. "I lost control of my magic. I lashed out at them because…"
"Because…" Draco coaxed out. He knew the reason behind the last time Harry had lost control well enough.
Harry looked up, green eyes watery. "One of them was distracting me with, you know, just some blood boiling and skin melting hexes…but the other snuck up behind me and almost…he almost hit me with Infelix!" Harry finished in a choked cry. "So I just…lashed out…I…think I suffocated them to death."
"Oh Harry," Draco started soothingly but Harry was having none of it.
"I almost lost my chance of having a family because of him! Draco! If he'd hit me we couldn't…we mightn't have been able to…"
"It didn't hit you?" Harry shook his head. "Then it's okay. If you're worried we can go to a Healer or Mediwizard…"
"That's not the point! If I'd been…I wouldn't…" Harry tugged on his hair and stood suddenly, angry. "I can't take risks like this anymore! Aren't you ever afraid something will happen to me?"
"Of course I am!" Draco leaned back, still on his knees, surprised. "And I more than most know how important is to have an heir…"
"Bond with me then!" Harry cried hysterically. "I can't take this anymore I really can't! I hate my job. I hate being in danger. I didn't like it when Voldemort was hunting me and I don't like it now. I just want you to be my husband…and kids…is that so much to ask?"
Draco flinched. "Don't…Harry, come on. That's not fair."
"Isn't it? I've always given way to you before but…not anymore. I can't. I'm quitting as soon as the hearing is over. And I'm not taking any more missions from today."
"Harry…you're being a bit too emotional. The spell didn't hit you. You're fine. You're blowing this…"
"I'm not! I'm not! It's simple Draco! It's very simple! If you care a jot about my happiness, if you love me…Bond with me." Harry stilled and gave a weak smile as Draco looked up at him thoughtfully. "I can quit my job and stay home…with our kids."
"But we planned…"
"Do you love me?" Harry interrupted.
"Of course b…"
"Say it then. Say you love me and we can get Bonded soon."
Draco's eyebrows furrowed deeply. Harry was…couldn't be…but Morgana! He looked serious.
"Harry I…we can't."
He seemed to crumble from the inside. "Can you even say you love me?"
"I care about us a lot Harry, you know I do." Draco scrambled up off the floor. "If I didn't we couldn't have been together for seven years…"
Harry crossed his arms. "You can't say it can you? You know I never realized…no, you know what. I did. But after the first time I asked you to Bond with me you stopped saying it. Unless it was before, during or after sex." Harry snorted. "You can't say you love me can you?"
Draco bristled. "Look, this isn't about that! I do…I mean, if I didn't love you I wouldn't…"
"No, you look here Draco! When you can say it…when you're ready to Bond with me! Come find me!" Draco followed on Harry's heels as he stomped out of their bedroom, ran down the stairs and headed for the fireplace in the Floo room.
"Harry let's talk about this!"
"No more." Harry glared before grabbing a pinch of Floo powder. "12 Grimmauld Place!" And he stepped into the emerald fire and disappeared.
A dark-haired head stuck itself out of one of the doors off the living room and when the person saw Draco their pale face frowned.
"What are you doing here?"
Draco's face darkened. "Harry's being an asshole!"
"And this is my problem how? I've already done my time with Potter, having had to teach him for seven years. I don't need you coming to me to talk about him now, yet again."
"Sev, I don't know what to do! You have to help me."
"The only thing I have to do is die." He said dryly, turning on his heel and heading back into his workroom, Draco on his heels.
"You've helped me with other things…" Draco said sulkily.
"Godfather or no, I only help when it has interest to me." Severus sneered. "There was good laugh value in talking to you about your erectile dysfunction when at my age I've never had that problem." He finished with a smirk.
"Slytherin that you are dear godfather you know about damage control. If you help me fix this now…I won't be sleeping on your couch later." Draco's eyes narrowed.
"That bad is it? And it sounds like it's your fault if you're the one moving out…" Severus turned, working smoothly between two caldrons.
"Well I wouldn't be a total bastard and kick him out all at once. I like living at the manor with Harry…" Draco sighed. "He does little things…for me. It's childish. But cute, you know?"
"So what is the problem?" Severus asked wryly, lifting his eyes from one of the potions he was stirring.
"He wants me to Bond with him. He wants to settle down and quit his job. He wants kids."
Never pausing from his stirring and adding ingredients to the other caldron simultaneously, Severus replied, "It has been seven years."
"Yes! But it's not like we're your age! No offense. And have to settle down now!" Draco said throwing himself gracefully onto a stool. "I had a plan!"
Severus snorted. "You don't have to be old to want to settle down and have a family. Perhaps you should ask yourself…not why Harry can't give in to you again, but why you can't give in to him."
Draco blinked. "Aren't you supposed to be on my side?"
"You said you came here for help. Not a cheerleader." Severus said, shifting between another two caldrons. Looking around Draco could see he'd interrupted in the middle of a mass production.
"Calming potions and Pepper-Ups?"
"Infirmary refill." Severus replied curtly.
"I'm…hesitant." Draco said quietly, looking down into the caldron he was behind. "Scared even."
Severus sighed and pulled his wand from his robes, setting a stasis spell on all of the caldrons. "Living room. Couch. Talk." He said in his 'professor' voice.
By the time Severus had finished pulling every detail from Draco he understood and Draco felt exposed.
"You're being completely irrational." Severus stated in the silence after Draco's broken explanation. "Just tell Potter you love him, Bond with him and get this over with. Firewhiskey?"
"No thanks." Draco frowned as Severus stood to get himself a drink. "So you don't think as soon as we Bond…everything we like about each other will fizzle out and we'll end up like my mother and father? I won't bring another me into this?"
Severus sat back down with his tumbler. "Ha…" He seemed to pause to rethink what he was saying. "Slytherins and Gryffindors…make surprisingly good mixes in the real world. It won't happen to you two." He finished cryptically, taking a gulp.
"I'm afraid I'll mess everything up Severus. If I'm honest to myself, I have money and looks and it'd seem like everything I could want…but I feel like Harry's too good for me and it's only a matter of time 'til…I lose him. I don't want to."
"The only way you'll lose him is if you keep up your crap." An ironic eyebrow arched. "Well, don't you have a fiancé to go make."
Draco stood as Severus drank the last of his drink and looked into the bottom of his glass. "Thanks Sev." He sighed heavily, then laughed shakily. "But maybe, I can still get him to hold back on the kids?" Draco threw some Floo powder into the fire from Severus' little bowl and smirked out at him. "I'm sure I'll be back soon with your godson-in-law. Ciao, Severus. 12 Grimmauld Place!"
Comments ARE welcomed. After all I've been running back and forth to fetch this for you people...I was gonna change my mind about posting tonight cuz the time to reread and fix it all up is seriously cutting into my monopoly time!P