These are a few random scenes from FFX – my style. There is absolutely no order, just the ideas when they come to me. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own FFX or any of its characters. Well, I do own the game, but I didn't create it and copyright it. They belong to Squaresoft/Enix/whatever-the-hell-they-call-themselves-these-days.

I did, however, create the nickname "Mr Cool" for Seymour's hair and Kekyf Hiatsui.

Location: Mt Gagazet

The Commotion: Seymour Guado

The fabulous group of … (Counting on my fingers) um, seven are crossing this ledge on Mt Gagazet. Tidus, as always, is lagging behind. Probably stoned or drunk or forgetting how to walk – as usual. Rikku stops, hinting that she would like to talk to him. Tidus, being Tidus, walks straight into Rikku.

'Hey, watch it, reject!' Rikku snaps, pushing Tidus away.

'No, Jecht is my father.'

'Your idiocy amazes me, son of Jecht,' Seymour chuckles.

'SHUT UP!' Tidus yells, feeling homicidal.

'You're supposed to be writing your speech,' I add coldly.

'And aren't you meant to be in Maths?'

'Get a life, Seymour!'

'I have one, which I am quiet willing to –'

'Shove up your arse?' Rikku sniggers.

'Rikku, do you want the money?' I say through gritted teeth.

'Tidus, what are we gonna do? We're almost in Zanarkand and when we get there-' Rikku says dramatically.

'We're gonna have a huge party around the fire?' Tidus asks eagerly.

'Who said fire?' Kekie asks, appearing from no-where.

'Now why the hell is an eleven year old here?' Rikku asks sarcastically.

'Because Tidus mentioned fire and she's obsessed. Her last name is Hiatsui, after all,' I reply, even more sarcastic. 'Kekyf Hiatsui, get the hell back to wherever the hell my original characters come from before I have Seymour over there style your hair.'

Kekie is long gone.

'Amazing how people react to that, hey?' Tidus sniggers.

'Now what is the problem with Mr Cool?' Seymour asks innocently.

'You named your hair Mr Cool?' Rikku asks, shaking her head.

'At least it's not Mr Sexy…' Tidus says, shuddering at the thought.

'On with the effing story, please.'

'Oh yeah. Yuna's gonna die, Tidus. Figure out how we're gonna save her,' Rikku says bluntly.

'I dunno. Throw a party so sexy that she gets pregnant?' Tidus replies, shrugging.

'You are an idiot. Not all problems can be solved by throwing a party,' Rikku sighs, rolling her eyes. 'Is all you think about sex?'

'Sex, parties, drugs, booze, Blitz, Yuna… yep, that's all there is.'

'Oh whoa, what an unpredictable situation! There's Seymour, looking all smug!' Rikku says, too sarcastic for even my liking.

In reality, Seymour is sitting with his legs dangling off a cliff, staring intently into a spoon.

'You are one sexy spoon…' Seymour whispers, edging his mouth closer.

'Oh dude! That's nasty!' Tidus cries.

'Oh, you're done?' Seymour asks, standing up and putting his spoon away – exactly where I won't elaborate upon.

'Hello, son of Jecht and um…' Seymour says, clicking his manicured fingers and staring blankly at Rikku. '… some Al Bhed bitch?'

'Rikku! I've helped kill you two times and you don't know my name?' Rikku protests.

'No.'

'And my name is T-' Tidus starts.

'DON'T SAY IT!' Both Rikku and Seymour scream. Seymour's voice was more high-pitched, and that's saying something.

'What…?'

Keep in mind that they never say Tidus' name out loud in FFX/X-2. It's not even written in X-2.

'Prepare to die, bitches!' Seymour screams, pulling out a hair-dryer and hair gel.

'Wait, we need to get Aurie!' Tidus cries.

Rikku runs ahead to get Auron.

'Tell me, son of Jecht, did you know Jecht used to be Jechtina?' Seymour asks, stroking where his goatee would be if he'd realised he didn't have one and grown it.

'…wanker.'

'Blonde.'

'Blue.'

'Yuna-lover.'

'You married her.'

'You kissed her.'

'So did you, ugly retardo.'

This continues for a while, as the brain-numb tries to outwit the brain-dead. The other soon arrive, in no rush to stop Seymour from devouring Tidus.

'Yeah well… you Squall you!' Seymour yells.

'For Yevon's sake…' Auron mutters.

'That's hardly an insult,' Lulu says, a grin I can't quite describe on her face, 'more of a compliment, actually.'

'This is so fucking stupid… should I just Send him?' Yuna asks, slightly out of character.

'Yes.'

Yuna raises her Summoner's Staff dramatically.

'Ha-ha! Yuna's gonna Send you!' Tidus taunts Seymour, winking at Yuna.

'You idiot Tidus! Now he's gonna give us a speech!'

Seymour turns around, smug and victorious.

'Lady Yuna, isn't it too soon to Send me?' Seymour asks, raising a blue eyebrow.

'…no. You are dead after all.'

'Death is pretty nifty. You feel no pain of life,' Seymour continues.

'Yeah, there's no pain of life 'cause there is no life! Dumb ass!' Rikku cries.

'All the pain of life is slowly swept away…' Seymour says, pulling out a nail file and getting to work on Mr Cool.

'Didn't he just say that?' Lulu asks Wakka.

'Hey he did, ya?'

'To destroy – to heal Spira, I will become Sin,' Seymour says, chucking the nail file away.

There are a few moments of silence. Then they all burst out laughing – Seymour included.

'Good one, Seymour!' Tidus laughs.

'Yeah, as if you wanna heal anything! You can't even cast Firaga yet!' Yuna adds, giggling.

'That is a classic.'

'Kimahri have no sense of humour,' Kimahri announces, despite the fact he too is laughing.

'Oh yeah. Kimahri, I killed your brothers and just about all the Ronso,' Seymour says, laughing with uncontrollable mania. Auron slaps Seymour with his sword to get him to shut up.

They all fall silent and watch Kimahri. His head was bowed.

Kimahri started laughing. I mean, like, full-on laughing! If Ronso could die from laughing too hard, Kimahri would have died in seconds.

'That's not funny, Kimahri. That's awful,' Yuna says uneasily.

'Kimahri love Seymour now.'

'Hot damn!' Seymour cries with all the enthusiasm of Christmas.

'This is getting way too weird!' Tidus groans.

'Yeah, more wacked than Wakka!' I agree.

'Hey, ya?' Wakka says, sounding mortally offended.

'Dude, Seymour, you're meant to spill the beans about my Daddy,' Tidus says loudly.

'Hey Yuna, Tidus' father is Sin. And if I'm Sin, Jecht won't be Sin,' Seymour yells in Yuna's ear.

'Ow…'

'Seymour, what is your true plan?' Auron asks formally. Seymour gushes.

'Aurie… I had a lot of fun in –' Seymour starts, flirting.

'And you married him!' Rikku says to Yuna, rolling her eyes.

'WHAT IS YOUR MASTER PLAN, GUADO?' Auron yells.

'Okay, well, when I am Sin, I will do deals with everyone. I will not kill them if – and only if – they let me do their hair like Mr Cool!' Seymour says. His voice shows all the excitement of winning the Spira beauty contest and a million Gil.

They all stare at Seymour. He is such an idiot.

'… do you have any idea how completely and utterly stupid that is?' Tidus asks. 'Not even Wakka would think that up…'

'Why's everyone pickin' on me, ya?'

'Because you are Wakka. That is your purpose in FFX; comic relief,' Yuna sighs.

'I thought that was Seymour's, ya?'

'Do none of you understand? My entire life, I have been all alone. No-one has understood me, no-one has cared. Not since my mummy went all Anima. Have you never wished that other people were more like you?' Seymour says theatrically.

'So you do their hair like yours?'

'If that is what it take, then yes.'

'Why not pretend to be like everyone else, retard?'

'…pitiful mortal. Where's the fun in that?' Seymour cries, moving closer to the ledge's edge. (Hey, that almost rhymes! Almost.)

'All of your hope ends here!' Seymour yells, turning into a demon in a flash of white light.

The mortischoke appears behind him. In another flash of light, he is riding it like an ugly, skeletal pony.

'And your Mr Cool-less existence with it!'

The battle. They kick his ass with a mix of Ultima, Auron's blade and Bahamut.

'No… I have been defeat! Through the body!' Seymour groans as he breaks up into pyreflies.

'He is such a dip-shit.'

So, what do you think? Please comment, then I'll do more. If you don't, I probably won't. Please, please comment! They make me happy. Oh, and if you have an ideas, tell me and I'll try and work them in.