|50 ways to aggravate and irritate James Potter
Author: tweeny-weeny PM
Lily Evans is bored, and thus 50 ways to aggravate, irritate and annoy James Potter is bornRated: Fiction K - English - Humor - Lily Evans P. & James P. - Words: 506 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 6 - Published: 01-07-06 - Status: Complete - id: 2741029
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50 ways to irritate, aggravate and generally annoy James Potter.
A compilation by Miss Lily J. Evans.
Confiscate all dung bombs. (Accio charms work particularly well)
Comment that the latest fashion is for men to have flat, blonde hair.
Say 'Snape is just a misunderstood sweetie'
Try to feed him veal.
Refuse to go to Hogsmeade with him.
Refuse to go to Diagon Alley with him.
Refuse to go anywhere with him – not even to the Hospital Wing.
Comment that you wish Gryffindor had a pretty green banner like the Slytherins.
Do not verify his temporary insanity when it is used as an excuse.
Laugh whenever you hear someone say "isn't James Potter divine/sexy/gorgeous/manly"
Ask loudly, "So how many balls are there in Quidditch again."
Alternatively state "I don't understand why anyone enjoys Quidditch – it's such a pointless sport."
Imply that he is short.
Imply that he is too skinny.
Imply that he is stupid.
Imply that he is a self-absorbed, egocentric, arrogant prat.
Tell him he is a sadist and that he appears to need psychiatric help in order to stop him from making himself big by hurting others.
Spread rumours that he is gay.
Set up a support group to council James Potter on how to 'come out of the closet.'
Dye his hair pink.
Glue his bed curtains shut. Aim to do this when he is encased by said curtains.
Say Quidditch books are a waste of time and that romance novels are much more interesting.
Call his pranks 'highly unoriginal.'
Wonder aloud if Severus Snape pulled the 'wonderful prank in the Great Hall' the other day.
Say Transfiguration is a doss subject.
Imply that only three year olds have gang names.
Honestly believe that his hair looks better green.
Ask if Potter is in anyway related to the Malfoys - they seem to have the same nose.
Stand up for others.
Stand up for Snape.
Humiliate him in front of the whole school.
Tell the whole school that you'd prefer to date the Giant Squid than ever go out with James Potter.
Say that Divination is a wonderfully precise and noble form of magic.
Say that Quidditch is just a childish attempt to fulfil juvenile muggle stereotypes.
Say that people who are good at Quidditch are compensating for something.
Try to psychoanalyse him.
Prescribe medication as a result of analysis.
Ask him why he's terrified of sweet little kittens.
Get other people to ask him why he's afraid of sweet little kittens.
Say that you think there are deer ticks in the Gryffindor common room.
Steal his favourite chair.
Ask Remus Lupin for help with Transfiguration when Potter is standing next to him.
Call him a male chauvinist pig.
Assign him detention.
Be very obvious that you are writing a list of 50 ways to irritate, aggravate and generally annoy James Potter.
O, poor Jamesie-poopskins…is everyone laughing at him?
Katie in Borediality.