Epilogue – Six Months Later

Sam's Journal

Well journal, here I am again in Tomahna. It's nice to be back so soon, and even nicer to see that things have been going well since the last time I was here.

The first thing I noticed upon arrival was that Atrus has built Sirrus a bedroom. It's situated a level up from Yeesha's, sort of set into the cliff side, overlooking the expanse that he still seems to enjoy hiking. The walkway that used to switch between Atrus and Catherine's bedroom, the kitchen, and Yeesha's room is now immobile, and there's a new moving walkway that Yeesha and Sirrus share between their bedrooms and the kitchen. It looks complete rather than additional, which, I think, is what Atrus was going for, and what Sirrus needed so badly.

Catherine is happier than I've ever seen her. She's been spending a lot of time in her garden rooms, sometimes with Yeesha, but mostly alone, and she's been smiling to herself almost constantly.

Atrus is, as usual, hard to read, but I have a feeling that he's happy, too. I caught him whistling earlier when I went up to the workshop to tell him it was dinner time. After dinner, he and Sirrus sat down to a game of chess, and nobody's been able to tear them away.

I hate to admit it, but the Serenians were right. I did end up having a hand in all this, much as I tried to fight it, and everything seems to be working out okay.

I must confess, even I'm surprised by the change in atmosphere around Tomahna. Much of the old sadness is gone, and the feeling that something large and unavoidable is hanging over everyone has disappeared. There is, inevitably, the subject of Achenar, but it seems that everyone is able to cope better now that the family is stable.

It's kind of weird, but I'm finding Sirrus much easier to be around. Whatever the Old Guardians did to or with his memories, it seems that he's gotten in touch with it over the past months and is a much different—and better—person than I've ever known him to be.

He wanted me to go hiking with him earlier. I almost said no, but Catherine was grinning at me, so I agreed. I didn't have the heart to tell her that there's no way in hell things are ever going to get that friendly.

Sirrus and I had a good hike, though. He showed me a gorgeous beach that I had no idea existed, and told me how he's been slowly mapping all of Tomahna. I think he wants to be friends, which seems strange to me, but I guess it's possible if he remains as decent as he has been these past few days.

I should go now. Sounds like Yeesha wants me to have a look at one of her experiments.

Today Sirrus tried to teach me to play chess, but I'm not very good at it. He says I have to keep practicing, but I don't know.

Dad's been talking to Sirrus a lot, mostly about technical things. Mom says that's good and that they're getting along. I want to tell her that I knew they would, but I can't explain how I knew.

Mom says that Dad still thinks of Serenia like a puzzle, but I know it's really more like a dream. I think Sirrus knows, too, but he never says so.

Dad's friend is staying with us again. I showed her the experiment Mom and I have been doing with two of the flowers in the incubators. She seemed impressed.

I want to go back and visit Anya. Maybe I'll ask Dad if I can go next week.

What a long time it's been since I last wrote. So much has happened, so many amazing things, that I can scarcely believe it.

Having Sirrus back is like a miracle, a crazy dream come true. Before, when I used to think of Sirrus and Achenar, it was always in terms of the past. It always had to be. I never could have imagined a situation like the one we have now.

Of course, I still miss Achenar, and I always will. I suppose I must remind myself that he had his own part to play, and, despite the fact that his story ended tragically, what he did was good, and he was redeemed in his own way.

Yeesha's courage through everything erases any doubts I have from day to day. I don't suppose I'll ever understand how or why she has complete trust in Sirrus again, but her forgiveness of him has saved this family, and for that I think we should all be grateful.

As for Sirrus, we haven't talked very much. He spends much of his time alone or with Atrus, hiking, mapping, and building. It's wonderful to see him happily occupied. I do wish that the two of us could talk, but to be honest, I am often at a loss for what to say to him. It's a delicate balance, a long road, and each bridge must be crossed as we come to it. This is one that is in the distance as of yet.

Atrus's friend has spent the past few days with us, helping with whatever she can, patiently listening whenever Yeesha wants to explain an experiment, and keeping Sirrus company. It's nice having her visit. I think that, over the years, she has kept Atrus balanced in ways that I can't, and of course she has helped us much more than we can ever properly thank her for.

And Atrus…Atrus is happy. It's such a rare thing to see him smile, to see his eyes light up over something other than a device or an Age. And, of course, when he's happy, I am happy. For once, we have nothing to worry about. The past that always seemed to haunt us has come full circle and has turned into something wonderful.

These past months, I have tried to understand how Sirrus's personality came to change so drastically, and how Yeesha was able to forgive him after all that transpired. Finally, I think, I must accept that Sirrus was saved by a force that I do no entirely understand, and that Yeesha had her own reasons for giving him the second chance that I myself was so reluctant to give.

Whatever her reasons, Yeesha's forgiveness of her brother continues to amaze me. Her willingness to extend her love and trust to him despite everything is something that I wish I could fully understand. She is so young, and yet, at times, it seems that she is far wiser than people many times her age.

My friend amazes me, as well, for sticking by us through all of this, never once pushing any of us to make a decision. She simply watches and waits, somehow always knowing when is the right time to step in and when she should keep her distance. For that, I am more grateful than I can express.

It's becoming less and less awkward to have Sirrus here. The two of us have managed to find common ground in building devices and playing chess. Rather than constantly being on the brink of an argument, it seems that we are approaching an understanding.

My daughter, my son, my wife, and my dearest friend, all together and happy in one place at one time. It's something I never could have imagined. As my friend said, this is not Myst; this is the present, something new, a new chapter in a book that I thought had closed forever.

Though I've been writing in here for several months now, it seems strange to be keeping a journal again. Nearly everything I wrote for twenty years was technical in nature, and I still have difficulty in putting my feelings on paper.

I find that I'm adjusting well to Tomahna. The bedroom Father built for me looks out towards the beach, though I can't see it from the window. At night, the smell from the dying embers of the kitchen fire fills the room. It's the most comfortable place I've ever slept in.

I find myself wanting to spend more time with Father's friend, though her name constantly escapes me and I think she still finds me somewhat of a fool.
Father and I have begun working together to build a few small devices. It's slow going, as there are still many things between us that we're unwilling or unable to talk about, but the mere act of sitting in his workshop, pouring over notes and diagrams, has made things easier. The relationship between us is, for now, more like two scientific minds than father and son, but I can live with that. It's more than I've had since my great-grandmother died.

I know Father is intently curious about some of the devices that I was able to build on Spire, but he's too polite to ask, for which I'm grateful. Perhaps, eventually, I'll be able to tell him how everything worked, but for now I can't bring myself to discuss it. Much of what I did on Spire was for one selfish purpose, and until I can come to terms with who I was and forgive myself the way my sister has forgiven me, that will all remain firmly in the past.

It doesn't matter, I suppose. I have a family again. I can watch my sister grow up. I can appreciate the beauty of Tomahna. That's more than I ever could have asked for all those long nights on Spire.

Finally, I'm home.

THE END