Disclaimer: Don't own Jill, she belongs to SV. More spoilers from her story which I don't own. Don't own 'Xiaolin Showdown' or their characters. Only own Hybrid. People should know this by now.

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Part 5

Crap Happens at Chase's House and "Normalness"

When Hybrid/Bitch woke up, she found she was no longer at the Xiaolin Temple gates. Instead, she was in a cavernous room. She had shackle-like things clamped around her wrists and ankles, which were attached to four different chains. They were up so her body was about four feet up in the air in a somewhat standing position, her arms and legs like an X, stretching just enough so she couldn't move, so she was sort of exposed. (She's still clothed, pervs!)

Hybrid tried to move, but, as said in the previous paragraph, she couldn't really move. After a few attempts of AIR CONDITIONING herself out (the air conditioners weren't heavy enough to break through the chains), she dropped her head in defeat.

"What're you in for?" came a voice.

The African-American lifted her head and turned it to the left and saw a red-haired, extremely pale boy in a ripped red tank top, frayed black pants, and cracked, yellow, swirly goggles on his head. He had weird black marks drawn under his eyes, probably to enhance the somewhat goth look.

"Jack Spicer?"

He nodded. Hybrid noticed he was also chained up. However, his shackle-things around his wrists were so his arms were extended upwards for they (shackles) were connected to a chain that came down from the celing, the shackles on each wrist connected to the other so they were somewhat together. His ankles were free, though it seemed as if he were very close to standing on his toes if only the chain were pulling him just a bit higher. Also, he was wearing a collar with a leash attached.

Jack's position and appearance seemed to trigger something in Hybrid's badly warped brain, for she imagined something very perverted, but she was still under the effects of the few drops of Insta-Sue, so it didn't really matter.

She grinned widely. "So that's why I haven't done it with you yet! You were captured by... someone!"

"Wait. You mean to say you're the Mary-Sue?"

"Yup-yup! I'm the Dragon of Air Conditioning! (giggle!)"

"Which would explain why Chase kidnapped you. Almost every 'Sue gets kidnapped by the evil character they like." Jack concluded.

"Why are you here, Jackie?" Hybrid asked. "Did someone kidnap you, too?"

"No." Jack says. "I'm here because of a Mary-Sue like you, but one who's even more annoying. One who constantly says 'like' all the time and dumped me for Chase and all that crap."

"Jill." The name came to Hybrid instantly, and her expression darkened. "It's all her fault."

Jack turned to face the now furious Hybrid Sunshine, the chain creaking as he did. "You know her?"

"Oh-ho-ho, I know her alright." Hybrid's hair began shortening. "It's her fault that I'm here."

"I knew it! You're too different to be a Mary-Sue, which is why I didn't fall in love with you at first sight! Well, by free will. Let me guess. Insta-Sue?"

"I drank something that said 'DRINK ME'. Reminded me of 'Alice in Wonderland'." Her eyes returned to regular dark-brown and her clothes turned back to normal.

Jack watched the transformation, fascinated. "Yup. Insta-Sue. Saw it at Meijer at half-off." (don't own Meijer either!)

"Spicer! Stop talking to the Mary-Sue!"

Chase had come in, slamming the door shut behind him. Hybrid, who was becoming more normal than ever, watched him walk toward the redhead, more perverted thoughts forming as Chase held Jack's chin in his hand, simply looking at him.

Jack whimpered, since apparently Chase's grip had tightened.

Hybrid, who looked pretty normal now, was hyperventilating. It appeared that the ChaseJack contact was speeding up the wearing off of the Insta-Sue, even though they weren't really doing anything dirty. It was all in her head. Well, it might also be because she only had, like, three drops of the stuff.

"Ooh... This is hot... Hot hot hot..."

Chase snapped out of it, let go of Jack, and stalked over to Hybrid, who stared at him.

Then, she smirked. "Now Jack's pose makes sense."

Chase's eyes widened. "What are you implying!"

"Nothin'-- AAAAAAAAH! I'M BLIND! CAN'T SEE!" she suddenly screamed, her brown eyes wide.

The Evil Boy Genius and the evil warrior both flinched in surprise. Chase covered his ears, Jack, unfortunately couldn't, so he had to deal with his aching eardrums.

"WHAT IS HER PROBLEM!" Young shouted over Hybrid's screams.

"I THINK SHE'S BLIND! I REMEMBER, WHEN SHE WAS ON THE CATBUS WITH US IN CHAPTER 2, SHE WAS WEARING GLASSES!" Jack also hollers, tears streaming from his eyes from the loudness and pain in his ears.

"BLURRY!"

Chase looked around desperately, then saw something sticking out of Hybrid's jeans pocket. He tried his best to ignore the girl's screaming and quickly took out the pair of glasses from her pocket. Then, he placed the glasses in their rightful place on Hybrid Bitch Sunshine's face.

Hybrid stopped instantly and said, "WHERE THE HELL AM I!"

"You're welcome." Young sarcastically told her.

Jack was blinking. "...I think my ears are bleeding..."

"Hey! You're Chase Young and Jack Spicer! Hybrid Bitch Sunshine. Big fan. Let me down."

"Well, since you're not a 'Sue anymore..." Chase waved a hand over Hybrid's shackles and they unlocked with a CLICK, letting her fall to the ground on her butt.

"MY ASS!"

"Definately not a 'Sue. If you were, you would've landed on your feet out of perfection." the guy in armor commented. Then, he sighed. "I was looking so forward to sleeping with someone..."

Hybrid points at Jack. "You can sleep with him. And when you do, would you mind if I taped it?"

Jack and Chase made disqusted noises at her.

Hybrid sounded angry and disappointed when she said, "Alright, fine! Be that way! Then why is Jack shackled like that!" She added, pointing at Jack. She puts on a sly expression. "Looks kinda kinky, ya know?"

"I ran out of shackle-things to put on his ankles." Chase Young replied with a shrug.

Jack was about to say something, but was interupted by a large BOOM! There, standing in the new hole in the wall, were the Wudai Warriors and Dojo.

Raimundo was the first to speak. "The spell wore off, Chase!"

Omi smiled. "We are no longer pawns in Jill's sick game!"

Chase nodded. "I feel very evil and in character again."

Clay and Kimiko ran over and helped Hybrid up, who then shook them off with a "Let go of me! I can get up myself!".

"LIKE, NOOOOOOOOO!"

Everyone looked in the center of the room/dungeon place and saw Jill stomping her feet. She looked very annoyed.

"LIKE, THIS WAS, LIKE, NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!"

Hybrid and Kimiko glared daggers at the Mary-Sue. "YOU!"

Kimiko looked around. "Where's my machine gun!"

Sunshine pointed a finger at Jill. "WHY AREN'T YOU DEAD, BITCH!"

"'Cause, like, I can't die, like like."

Then, Chase kicked her into the wall. The wall crumbled down, but Jill was still in perfect shape, but slumped on the wall. "That's for making me turn temporarily good!"

"Chase! Let me out of here!" Jack shouted, moving his wrists so the chain would creak some more. "I wanna hurt her, too!"

Young snapped his fingers and Jack was freed. It wasn't long 'til everyone was surrounding the now cowering Jill.

"L-like, don't make m-me put up the flower ba-barrier, like like!" she stammered.

Hybrid took out the rubber band that was holding her hair together, causing her hair to poof up into a giant afro. "AFRO POWER!" Lots of mini Hybrids crawled out of her afro (all saying "AFRO AFRO AFRO!") and onto Jill's body. They all started biting her and pulling her hair and poking her with tiny sticks (them saying "I POKE YOU!").

(A/N: I don't really own that idea. It came from 'Excel Saga', since the guy can make his afro do weird things. I mean, he pulls out guns from his afro, make little mini versions of himself come out... Y'know. I just love it!)

"LIKE, OW! STOP, LIKE, IT! WHEN DID YOU GET AFRO POWERS? YOU ONLY PUT DOWN 'AIR CONDITIONING'!"

"I wrote it in tiny little lettering next to 'air conditioning'. (air conditioner falls in background) My friend taught me how to write like that in fifth grade." Hybrid says proudly.

Then, everyone began punching Jill and kicking Jill and poking Jill and biting Jill and dropping heavy air conditioners on Jill and afro-smothering Jill and... basically anything to hurt Jill, shouting different things.

"PUNCH HER!"

"DIE, BE-YATCH!"

"BUCKA!" (Jack cursing)

"AIM FOR HER NUTS!"

Everyone stopped momentarily and stared at Clay, who had said it.

"What?"

--

Later that night... Well, it was dawn, the Xiaolin Warriors and Dojo took Hybrid back to the Temple. Omi ran inside and came back out with the Golden Tiger Claws, giving them to Hybrid.

"Just think of where you wish to go and--"

"I know how to use them, jackass." Hybrid interupts the bald, yellow kid, who merely stared at her while she slashed a portal and jumped in, portal disappearing.

"Yeesh, what a bitch." says Omi.

Everyone agreed.

Then, Master Fung came walking out to greet them. "Welcome back, young monks and Dojo. I have a splitting headache right now, but I choose not to show it for I am trying to stay in character, for the Mary-Sue is gone. Come inside and have some dinner."

Everyone does so and half-way through the meal, Raimundo gasped. "SHE TOOK THE GOLDEN TIGER CLAWS!"

--

In Michigan... Bitch-Hybrid was standing outside Johnny B's resteraunt, blasting her walkman's music in her ears.

"Heeheeheeheeheeheeheehee! Barbeque ribs, here I come!"

All in all, it was a happy ending.

"LIIIIIIIIIIIIKEE!"

...Or was it?

(insert dramatic music)

Me: TO BE CONTIN--

Bitch-Hybrid: Oh, HELL NO!

Me: What?

Bitch-Hybrid: Forget it! This thing is finished!

Me: But, there's a cliff--

Bitch-Hybrid: AIR CONDITIONING!

Me: (gets hit by air conditioner) OW!

Bitch-Hybrid: There ain't gonna be no sequel to this sh(BEEP!) other than random sh(BEEP!)! So, y'all betta BACK OFF ABOUT IT!

Me: Bitch...

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So ends my crappy not-so-much-a-parody finally.