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Love is a Complicated Thing
Isaac: Romance? You're writing romance?
... Yeah. It's not that rare from me, is it?
Garet: Um... kinda...
Eh. We're going back to some good old rare pairings. One-sided Zitshipping, that's JennaxAlex, and Porcelainshipping- AlexxFelix! I love Porcelainshipping... heh... I wish it wasn't so rare.
Isaac: Oookay...
Garet: I will never understand this... eh, Camelot owns Golden Sun. If you don't like slash, don't bother reading and most importantly don't whine about it because I eat the flames. Caz feeds them to me.
Alex was silent, his body still.
"Oh, are you asleep already?" Jenna murmured, her eyes sliding shut. "Okay then."
Alex's sapphire eyes gazed out into the darkness, running over the same old faint shapes that showed up in the light of Luna. He had looked at them like this many times when he could not go to sleep, listening to the calm, soothing breaths of the girl behind him. But they have never soothed him and it is all he can do to remain calm.
What happened anyway?
Half a year later, Alex found himself back at Vale. The old Vale had been destroyed but the Valeans had swiftly rebuilt their home. For some reason, he had plucked up the courage to enter the village and make himself known. He had a reason of course.
He had wanted to see a very special person.
Reactions had been mixed for sure. In fact, Garet wanted to beat the pulp out of him. Isaac, the calm and rational one, had held him back and demanded an explanation out of Alex and asked what his intentions were. Felix never said a word during Alex's desperate speech, standing and staring, and Jenna stood next to him, watching Alex with a strange look in her eyes. She had shouted at Garet not to hurt him as well...
That had been an awkward moment. Isaac looking suspiciously at Alex, Garet looking at Alex like he wanted to tear him to pieces, Felix... actually, Alex wasn't sure. Felix was pretty good at hiding his feelings, which, now that he thought about it, really was a shame, and Jenna was looking... well, just strange, like he had never seen her look before. It was almost as if... she was revering him, looking up to him.
Alex wasn't sure what to say either. Could he really say he had merely wanted to talk to a certain someone? It would not be good enough for them. It seemed they knew of his attempt to take Alchemy also. Perhaps the best thing to do was just ask forgiveness. It was below him, but what else could he do? So he tried his best.
Everybody listened in silence as Alex spun the best excuse he could and grudgingly asked to be forgiven.
"I'm not sure," Isaac raised an eyebrow. "You say you wanted to prevent others from getting the power? It doesn't seem likely. And to ask for forgiveness?"
"Hah!" Garet exclaimed. "Like we're going to forgive a jerk like you! You deserved everything you got!"
"Then I should just leave?" Alex enquired, his spirits sinking. At this rate, they were going to ensure that every Valean refused to let him in the village from now on.
"And never come back," Isaac said quietly.
"No!" Jenna exclaimed. The others turned to look at her in surprise, as she ran over to Alex and grabbed him by the arm. "It's not your decision to say if Alex can stay or not! Garet, you can't make the decisions for your grandfather either! Why shouldn't Alex be allowed to stay here? If he wants to, then he should be allowed to..."
"You know, she's got a point," Felix spoke up, startling everybody in the vicinity. "Shouldn't Alex have a second chance?"
"This is ridiculous!" Garet threw his hands up in the air. "Alex used us! He tried to take Alchemy! He's clearly rotten to the bone!"
"I see we are divided on this matter," Isaac frowned. "Fine then, we should let Alex stay on a trial basis," He held up a hand, cutting off Garet's angry exclamation. "If Alex does anything wrong at all, he is straight out of here and will never be allowed back on punishment of death."
"Thank you, Isaac," Jenna smiled.
Alex felt a slight feeling of dread rising inside him. Jenna was acting very odd... in fact, it seemed as if she had developed an attachment towards him. Well, at least now he could go and talk to Felix uninterrupted.
"Do you hate me?" Alex asked tentatively. He knew plenty of people hated him for what he had done, but he knew that if Felix hated him too... it would hurt. He didn't want Felix to hate him.
"No," Felix sighed. "I just... you confuse me, Alex."
"I do?" Alex looked away guiltily. He had mastered the art of mixed signals and deception after all, but at what cost? Had he gone so far that he couldn't be trusted? Possibly.
"I could never really tell what you were thinking," Felix smiled wryly. "But you didn't seem so bad, not really... but then in Champa, you..."
"Champa?" Alex said vaguely. Oh, Agatio and Karst...
"You pretty much implied you were threatening us to get the lighthouses lit," Felix sounded bitter now. "You called us a bunch of useless ragamuffins."
"Your memory is impressive," Alex commented, raising an eyebrow.
"What was all that about?" Felix looked at him, his face etched in a frown.
"Well, you can't really complain about me wanting the lighthouses lit quickly," Alex was immediately on guard. Ticking Felix off wasn't the best idea. "You all really wanted to light them quickly... I just didn't want you getting lazy."
"That was the last thing we were going to do," Felix scowled. "And you still insulted us."
"Well, you replaced me with an amateur Water Adept," Alex shot back.
"You're the one who left us on Idejima," Felix retorted.
"I went to look for a boat," Alex replied.
"Why are we even arguing like this?" Felix shook his head. "I'm not mad at you or anything, but... you're so hard to understand. I guess I shouldn't even bother trying."
"I'm sorry," Alex whispered.
"What?"
"Nothing," Alex said quickly.
"What is it?" Alex asked.
"Well, I..." Jenna's face was growing red. Her eyes flickered briefly downwards and she grinned, although her grin looked somewhat nervous. "Heh, I'm not sure how to put it. I'm not very good at this kind of thing."
Alex remained silent, confused by Jenna's behaviour. He had never seen her like this before, certainly not blushing or... wait, she was blushing? He had a sudden desire to get out of there.
"I'm just going to say it," Jenna took a deep breath and looked up at him, her ruby eyes shining. "Alex, I love you."
"What?" Alex gasped out. She loved him? He thought maybe she would have had a thing for Isaac or Garet, certainly not for him. But he didn't feel entirely disappointed. Jenna was a beautiful girl, and she probably had a whole line of prospective suitors.
"I love you, Alex," Jenna said again, grabbing his hands and pulling him closer. "I don't know how you feel about me, but I felt so happy to see you back, alive and well... ever since I first met you... I guess I've had a kind of crush on you."
"Jenna, I..." Alex faltered. He had never been in a situation like this at all. What could he say to her? Maybe the best thing to do was just accept it... he certainly couldn't reject her and break her heart. Several people would proceed to break every bone in Alex's body. Especially Felix. Which wasn't very fair, now that Alex thought about it.
"Please," Jenna placed her head against Alex's shoulder, her arms sliding beneath his and wrapping around his slim form. "Please, tell me you feel the same way, Alex."
"I do," Alex said heavily.
"You do?" Jenna exclaimed, pulling back. Her entire face was lit up with joy. "I... I'm so glad!"
Then they had their first kiss. Jenna went right into it with passion, Alex simply just let her kiss him. He felt nothing however, and the thought that it should be someone else occured to him, but that was a no-go, wasn't it? Might as well just go with her.
Their relationship moved so fast, it was a blur. Alex faintly recalled Garet being so mad he even suggested to Isaac that they kick him out (Isaac had told Jenna, who shouted at Garet before complaining to Alex about Garet and how mean he was.) and Isaac seemed displeased but he never complained. Felix... well, Felix seemed disappointed. Alex supposed he knew why, anyone would be disappointed with Alex as a prospective brother-in-law.
And now they were an actual couple, living together under the same roof, barely a year after that day Alex almost perished.
Alex hated himself for what he had done. He was living out a lie. Jenna loved him, and while he did feel some affection for the younger girl, he couldn't call it love, not by a long shot.
It hadn't taken Alex long to figure out who the one he really loved was either.
It was around the time those dreams started.
They started off so innocent, with just a suggestive hint here or there. Alex had brushed them aside casually and thought nothing more of them. But then the dreams started getting even more obvious and even more explicit until it just became too difficult to ignore. But what could he do? Hightailing it out of Vale was not an option now, ironically enough, not now that he was with Jenna.
Alex let out an inaudible sigh and closed his eyes. Things could not be allowed to continue like this. But that meant there was only one thing he could do. The thing was, he had no idea what would result. Anything could happen. And it wasn't going to be pleasant, not at all.
He drifted off into another series of troubled, yet pleasant, dreams. And he was very, very glad that nobody could see what he was dreaming about.
Alex heard a faint sound and turned his head towards a tree. Felix was sitting against the tree and gazing at the empty sky, hugging his knees to his chest and resting his chin on them. He looked so small and lost, Alex had the urge to run up and comfort him. He shook his head sharply, shaking the feeling aside, and approached Felix, taking a deep breath as he did so.
"Good morning, Felix," Alex stopped short and leaned against the tree casually, which was awkward enough considering he was not used to being so casual. But it was better than freaking, blurting everything out and then running out of the village and being forever cursed.
"Morning," Felix grunted out.
Alex exhaled deeply. Clearly Felix was not in a conversational mood this morning. In fact, he sounded kind of sulky. "What is the matter? I have not done something to make you angry, have I?"
"No," Felix responded.
"Is it possible for you to give me an answer that's more than one word long?" Alex asked, a smirk tugging at the side of his lip.
"Shut up, Alex."
"Look, Felix," Alex sighed. He didn't want Felix on his bad side this morning, not when he had to tell him something important. "I need to tell you something."
"Go ahead," Felix shrugged.
Alex closed his eyes for a second and shook his head. Felix probably thought Alex was just going to tell him something trivial, like it was going to rain this afternoon... although the sky was clear, but that didn't matter right now. "It's pretty serious, so I just want you to prepare yourself, okay?" Felix nodded hesitantly.
Alex mentally counted to ten in his mind, preparing himself.
He had to say it. It was now or never.
He would deal with the consequences later.
Alex took a deep breath, eyes still closed, and blurted it out.
"Felix... I love you."
There was a loud rustle and a soft thud that sounded like feet moving. Alex opened his eyes to see Felix standing up and facing him, his mouth hanging open and his breath quickening, his eyes wider than usual.
"What?" Felix gasped out. "Alex... did you say..."
"Yes," Alex spoke with an effort. "I said I loved you, Felix."
For an awful moment there, Alex had no idea what Felix was going to do next. He might have proceeded to beat the stuffing out of Alex, or ran and hid.
"Damn, Alex," Felix cursed. "But I thought you loved Jenna..."
"Well..." Alex hesitated. Big mistake. Felix grabbed him by the shirt and put his face very close. Alex struggled not to think of how nice it was to have him so close like this...
"You mean you just went with her, even though you didn't actually love her?" Felix yelled.
This wasn't the way he had wanted the conversation to go.
"But at least I made her happy," Alex protested. "Besides, don't you think I hate myself for it already?"
Felix sighed in resignation and let go. Alex pulled down his shirt to get rid of the brand new creases.
"Well..." Felix bit his bottom lip. "I know I shouldn't be saying this, we shouldn't even be having this conversation at all, not like this, but... Alex..."
"What is it?" Alex pressed, as Felix glanced downwards. "Felix?"
"I do love you too..." Felix said quietly, looking back up with a sad look on his face. "But it's too late..."
"No, Felix," Alex stepped forwards. "It doesn't have to be... we can still make it work..."
"I can't hurt my sister," Felix protested. "Have you any idea how Jenna would feel? It's not right, Alex. It's not..."
"I suppose you're right," Alex spoke solemnly. "But, let us just have one kiss. Just one..."
Felix had no time to reply when Alex wrapped his arms around him and pressed his lips against Felix's, hungrily and desperately. He was happy when Felix kissed back and also put his arms around Alex, and they spent a whole minute like that, just holding each other and looking into each other's eyes.
Unfortunately, they couldn't stay that way forever. Felix broke away first, his expression pained and guilty, and he strode away without even looking back, and Alex sadly watched his retreating back, wishing that he had realised it earlier, before it was too late.
Well, he was just stuck with Jenna, wasn't he? Alex sighed miserably and turned around, walking back to the house where Jenna still slept, blissfully unaware of what had just happened outside.
Strangely enough, Alex didn't see much of Felix over the next few days. Evidently, Felix was avoiding him. Alex was even more depressed when this became apparent, he had probably destroyed whatever shred of friendship he had left with him by telling him what he did...
"Oh, yes, I'm fine," Alex said dismissively. "Don't worry about me."
"Uh, okay," Jenna frowned, unconvinced.
Jenna had the niggling feeling that something was wrong with Alex. He had been behaving very strangely lately, but he wouldn't tell her what it was and that made her very frustrated. Jenna stubbornly decided that she was going to find out what it was.
It came sooner than she hoped. Jenna woke up in the middle of the night to find Alex with his arms wrapped around her and murmuring. Jenna smiled and kissed back, gazing at his eyes. It was then that she realised they were unfocused, a sign that Alex was effectively sleepwalking... just, not walking.
Alex pressed against her tighter, and kissed passionately. Jenna realised that she could never recall a single moment in which Alex had kissed her like this. This was so needy, so insistent. And what was he mumbling under his breath? Jenna listened carefully to his fervent whispers.
"Felix..." Alex murmured.
Jenna angrily pulled away and scrambled out of the bed, standing besides it and leaning on the mattress, her breaths coming out in furious, heavy gasps. Alex flailed his arms in the air for a second before turning over and going quiet, his sleepwalk state evidently over. Jenna slowly sank to her knees, her eyes filling up with tears. Alex had been dreaming about hugging and kissing her brother! But why? Was this what he hadn't been able to tell her... it couldn't be... but it made sense.
Jenna punched the floor with a clenched fist, furious with herself for not recognising the signs. Alex had never made any actual indication he felt the same way about her as she did him, he had never kissed her like she had him and he had never said those three special words to her either. He... he had been lying to her the whole time! She couldn't believe it, she didn't want to, but she knew it was true...
Alex awoke the next morning, faintly surprised to see that Jenna was already out of bed. He got out and looked around, alarmed to find the house looking very bare. In fact, everything Jenna owned was gone. She had just left him with the basic necessities, like food... and furniture.
"What?" Alex stood in the middle of the kitchen, flooded with disbelief. Jenna had moved out without telling him? She must have gone in the night, while he was asleep. Alex's blood ran cold as it occured to him that he must have talked in his sleep... and he dreamed about Felix again... "No!"
He had done it. He had made Jenna aware of what was going on, without even meaning to. Now she knew about his feelings for her brother, she would evidently have figured out Alex didn't even love her the same way she did, and she had to be so hurt. In fact, she was most likely plotting to cause Alex some form of severe pain. And Felix would be too. And Isaac... and Garet... heck, the entire village would be against him!
"You really are the master of deception," Isaac spat out. "Tricking Jenna like that for so long. You probably just used her as an excuse to stay here. Well, we're not standing for this. In fact, I think we've all decided on what we're going to do to you."
Alex's eyes widened. What the Valeans were going to do to him?
The Mayor of Vale shuffled towards him, a hard stare in his dark eyes.
"Alex of Imil," The Mayor spoke in a rasping voice. "We, the people of Vale, have decided you to banish you from the village henceforth. If you dare step foot within the village again, then you will be punished by the death sentence. Leave now and never return."
Alex lowered his head and turned, people shouting and jeering at his back as he stepped towards the boundary of the village. So he was exiled and forbidden to return. That really didn't surprise him. Alex was used to being the outcast, he just hadn't wanted it to happen this way. Alex sadly passed out of the village and wandered off into the wilderness, making way towards Vault. He wasn't sure where he was going to go now, but it pained him to think... wherever he was going...
Felix wasn't going to be there.
Alex was going to be alone as usual.
He checked himself into the Vault Inn and sat alone in the bedroom, gazing forlornly out the window. Alex remembered a time when Mt. Aleph could be seen from Vault, especially out the window of the inn's top floor, but he couldn't see it anymore. If he looked very hard, he could see the faint outline of Vale on the horizon, just a tiny little speck.
Barely an hour has passed by when a knock sounded on the door.
"Come in," Alex muttered, wondering who would even bother coming to see him. The door opened and a woman peeked around it.
"Excuse me," The woman smiled hesitantly. "Are you Alex?"
"Yes," Alex replied, turning his attention to the woman. Just who was she? He certainly did not recognise her.
"There is a visitor here for you," The woman told him. "Downstairs. He says it's urgent."
Oh. So she was simply a woman who worked at the inn and somebody wanted to see Alex. So he wasn't becoming that well known after all. Feeling somewhat relieved, Alex thanked the woman and hurried downstairs, looking around frantically. He spotted a familiar head of brown hair and his spirits soared.
"Felix!" Alex exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"
"I guessed you might be here," Felix walked up to him. "I know it wasn't your fault, Alex, you were talking in your sleep and Jenna overheard you. Fortunately, she didn't think we had anything going on so I've been spared for now. But you... well, you can't really come back to Vale anymore."
"Yeah, just my luck, huh?" Alex chuckled dryly.
"Where are you going to go now?" Felix asked.
"Well, Imil's not an option, Mia's there and she hates my guts," Alex sighed. "Don't worry about me, Felix, I'll figure something out. Besides, I'm used to being by myself so I'll be fine."
"I'm going to miss you," Felix pouted. "I did like being able to see you every day..."
"Me too," Alex turned away slightly. "You should just return to Vale now. There's no point in hanging around here. I'll be gone by tomorrow."
"Alex..."
"I don't know when we'll see each other again, if ever, but Felix, just remember, I'll be thinking of you wherever I go. I'll never forget you."
"I'll never forget you either," Felix said quietly. "I wish things could have turned out better."
"Don't we all?" Alex shook his head, his blue hair flying. "But wishing won't change the past. Go on, Felix, go back home."
Felix looked like he was about to protest, but thought better. He walked away towards the door and paused to look back at Alex, his eyes shining with tears.
"Goodbye, Alex," Felix whispered, turning and hurrying out of the inn, slamming the door behind him. Alex stared at the door, lost in a trance, thinking of the forlorn look on Felix's face. It was all his fault, wasn't it? It wasn't often he had even seen Felix like that, but he was now... because of him.
"Goodbye, Felix," Alex muttered under his breath, although the Venus Adept was far from hearing distance now, and he turned around to head back upstairs, trying to ignore the aching in his heart.
Isaac: That's a nice romance fic?
Eh, stories write themselves, sometimes. Personally, I think it's not very good... but, eh, don't blame me. Blame the clouds. It is always the clouds' fault. A very wise person told me that.
