Iris

A/N: Yes, it’s another songfics, but I can’t help it, I love songs, and I love evangelion…

Disclaimer: This story belongs to me, Evangelion though belongs to Gainax, and the song is sung by Goo Goo Dolls, “Iris” great song .

Shinji was still awake in his bed, it was 1:00 in the morning and he was still listening to his SDAT. He had received some more song suggestions from his pen pal in Canada. He enjoyed the music even though he didn’t even really understand the whole thing.

His bedroom door shot open, his quickly reacted and turned off his SDAT and pretended to sleep waiting for whoever came in to exit his room.

“Shinji-kun…” said a small mumbling voice.

Shinji reacted to his name and turned to see a sleepy Asuka, her eyes were like when she came into his room.

He turned back around and closed his eyes. But then he heard a thump and he knew what just happened, just like what happened before their big day of synchronized dance.

And I'd give up forever to touch you

'Cause I know that you feel me somehow

You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be

And I don't want to go home right now

He opened his eyes once he felt something touch his hand. He blushed as he looked down to his hand, her hand was on it. He looked at her face, she was sleeping soundly. He smiled at her, unlike before, she looked happy, not crying for her mother, but happy.

“Must be having a great dream,” he whispered quietly.

“Shinji-kun…” she muttered again.

Shinji smiled at her and blushed again.

And all I can taste is this moment

And all I can breathe is your life

and sooner or later it's over

I just don't want to miss you tonight

She slowly opened her eyes and he got scared. She slowly rubbed her eyes and smiled. He was relieved she didn’t throw a tantrum. But he wondered why she wasn’t angry or anything.

“Shinji, can I ask you a question?”

She let go of his hand, he sighed, he wanted it to stay there. He then nodded.

“Am I a bad person?”

“No, you’re just a very fragile person.”

She smiled and closed her eyes, and tears came out.

“Don’t cry…”

“But, I’ve been having so many terrible nightmares, you, wondergirl, Misato, and even Hikari were leaving me. I was alone so alone… But then you came back, and stopped me from crying…I was so relieved, so happy. But I thought it might’ve been through pity, but I just enjoyed the moment while I could…”

Shinji just lay there nodding at her story.

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming

Or the moment of truth in your lies

When everything feels like the movies

Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive

“But then my Eva came out of no where, and inside was the doll my mom used to hold before she committed suicide…”

She started to cry and cradled into his arms. He became worried for her and stroke her hair.

“The Eva went berserk, and chased after me… Then I woke up and came here, I wanted to be comforted by the real Shinji, I was still afraid of rejection, so I was careful…”

“Asuka, please stop crying, don’t worry I’ll always be here…”

“But how can I be sure? My normal everyday habbits, I realized that they were selfish and rude.”

“But I know about your past, I wouldn’t expect anything less.”

“But everything in this world has a purpose, I came here, I was genius, but my life was screwed up, my mother died, and then I was scarred for life, I lived for the Evas, just to simply pilot them, just to unleash my anger. But no, I also used it on other people, to you and everyone else. I thought it was my purpose, to pilot the Eva, to make mama proud, but then I kept having these dreams, what’s the point of piloting, and glory, if everyone turns you down in the end? I don’t want to be alone.”

And I don't want the world to see me

'Cause I don't think that they'd understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

There was a long silence between the two. Shinji kept her in his arms, searching for the words to help her.

“Everything was meant to die in the end, that means me too, but I don’t want to die with this hole inside my heart. I don’t think anyone understands me…”

“Asuka, like I said before stop crying! You’re not a bad person, yes that experience with your mother scarred you for a long time, but it was all in the past. You have to accept now! We have to destroy the angels, make sure everyone is safe in the world. Now you are an Eva pilot, your smart, beautiful, strong willed and have a lot of friends.”

“But…”

“But nothing! You can’t swim in your sorrows forever, think of the positive things, people look up to you, you have Hikari, and others.”

“But they don’t know me…”

And I don't want the world to see me

'Cause I don't think that they'd understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

“Yes they do, you just don’t see it, they always have understood you, you just have to believe in them. I’m always here for you, I understand you too. Your fragile, unforgettable past, but now, it’s time to replace that memory with new ones.”

“Shinji-kun…You’re so sweet…I feel so much better now. All I wanted was someone who actually understood me, who would comfort me, and who would make me happy.”

Shinji smiled, and her tears finally stopped. She looked up to him and embraced him. He was happy that she finally was happy. The next thing that happened, he didn’t expect.

She planted a passionate kiss on him. She pressed herself against him and kissed him with all her might. He finally accepted it, and was out of his state of shock. They remained to kiss for awhile and stopped for air. Then they stayed in each others embrace as Shinji’s SDAT continued to play the song.

I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am

A/N: ok there it is, I love making songfics so be expecting more of it! Oh and if there are any big Hikari and Touji fans, I’m starting one just for that coupling!