Disclaimer: I don't own Saiyuki…I just like hurting Minekura-sama's lovely bishies…(evil laughter)

"Here. They're for you."

A strand of blood-red prayer beads was transferred from one hand to another.

"Are you sure?"

A rare smile lit up the child's face. "I've never given anyone anything before. So yes, I'm sure."

As Kouryuu left the room, Shuei smiled after him. "Thank you."

xxx

He didn't know why he wanted to kill Rikudo. Maybe it was just an excuse to see the older man again. Whatever the reason, all he knew was that he wanted to see what was left of Shuei.

Sanzo sat up on his bed and buried his face in his palm. He couldn't believe it; the powerful monk named Shuei had wasted away to nothing but a mere shell of his former self; a monster with nothing in mind except to kill demons.

The blonde put on his robes but clutched at his abdomen, wincing.

"I'd hate for us to have matching scars."

Sanzo shook Hakkai's words out of his head and approached the door. Gojyo's voice coming from the other side stopped him in his tracks. "I couldn't care less what you do but the other two are too worried to leave you alone."

"Then if you don't care, get out of the way."

"Oh come on, don't be so cold. We practically kissed last night."

Sanzo frowned and aimed his shoureiju at the point in the door where Gojyo's head was presumably on the other side. He cocked the gun but was stopped when Gojyo spoke up again. "If seeing this Rikudo guy means so much to you, I'll let you go."

Sanzo pushed past the open door and the redheaded kappa and walked into the woods. He had plenty of time to think and analyze about what he was doing and why he was doing it.

Maybe it was a twisted sense of justice. In his mind, he was the one at fault for leaving Kinzan Temple when the demons attacked, looking for the Maten Sutra. He should have stayed behind and helped them. If he had done that, Shuei wouldn't have used the forbidden talisman. He wouldn't have turned into Rikudo. And Sanzo wouldn't have to kill Rikudo now.

xxx

Rikudo ran faster and turned around a bend in the forest path. When he arrived at the clearing, he saw Sanzo sitting on the rock and looking at him with feigned aloofness.

"Do you mean to kill me, Kouryuu?" he asked in his rasping voice. He crept closer, clutching his wounded shoulder.

"Yes." Sanzo brought up the shoureiju and aimed it at his former friend. Before he could fire, Rikudo had disappeared. The blonde kept firing shots but the other monk just evaded the bullets.

"Your aim is off," he taunted. "Your wound from last night must be hurting, Kouryuu." The voice came from behind, so close that Sanzo could feel Rikudo's breath stirring his hair.

The blonde suddenly twisted around to try and hit him but Rikudo dodged the bullet once again. He saw Sanzo wince in pain as blood began to stain his robes from the reopened wound.

Rikudo thought it was a delightful shade of red. Like the prayer beads around his neck. Making up his mind, he began to chant a binding spell, paralyzing the younger monk.

Before he killed Kouryuu, he would have his fun first.

xxx

Sanzo was helpless. Unable to move, all he could do was mentally curse himself as Rikudo dragged him to a nearby tree. Using the red prayer beads, the cursed monk tied Sanzo's arms to a branch above his head so that the monk was in a standing position. Unsatisfied, Rikudo removed Sanzo's robes and ran callused fingers across the front of his tight black top.

"You are a very naughty monk, Kouryuu. Should I know why your undergarments are black leather?"

Sanzo couldn't do anything but glare at him. It seemed to amuse Rikudo as he began to remove the remainder of Sanzo's clothes. Using the shawl he wore over his robes, Rikudo tied Sanzo's waist to the tree trunk.

The blonde couldn't anything but watch in horror as the older monk stripped. What Rikudo was planning suddenly hit him and he tried to do his best to overcome the spell he was under.

Finally naked, Rikudo pressed his body flush against Sanzo's. The blonde could feel the demon slayer's turgid flesh hitting his thigh. He couldn't do anything to get away from the hard member slowly making its way towards his tight entrance.

As Rikudo slowly pushed himself into Sanzo, bright dots began to dance before purple eyes, slowly fading into black. The slow penetration seemed worse than the fast pumping that came next; the pain seemed to be prolonged, stretching Sanzo and slowly ripping his insides apart.

"You must be strong, Kouryuu."

A bitter laugh began to rise up in Sanzo's throat but couldn't come out because of the paralyzing spell. He wasn't strong, could never be strong, will never be strong. Especially now, as he was being viciously raped by a deranged monk from his past. He was weak and this moment just served to open his eyes to the truth that he was trying to hide from.

Rikudo laughed as he stopped his movements for a while though he remained buried hilt-deep in virgin heat. He wiped away the tear sliding down Sanzo's cheek with a finger before wiping the moist digit across the blonde's slightly parted lips.

He pulled out then reached for his spear. Rikudo waved it back and forth in front of Sanzo's face with a twisted smile. "Do you know where I'm going to put this, Kouryuu?"

Fear began to race around Sanzo's mind as he imagined the cursed monk ramming the spear's end up his ass. But a part of him anticipated the pain. Blood was already dripping down the backs of his legs and staining the blades of grass beneath his feet.

It was punishment for being weak. The pain and the blood were just reminders of how he had failed everyone who had relied on him.

Rikudo jammed the point into Sanzo's reopened wound, twisting it so that the spear went deeper. "I finally found out what the talisman wants, Kouryuu," he whispered into an ear. "It wants your soul."

xxx

Rikudo traced a path from Sanzo's ear to his collarbone as he resumed pumping into the still form in front of him. "Why did you give me those prayer beads, Kouryuu?" he asked though he knew that the body he laboring over couldn't answer.

"Did you do it because you liked me, Kouryuu? Because you had feelings for me? I've had a lot of time to think it over; ten years in fact. It was your first time giving anyone anything. Why me? Why not Komyou Sanzo?"

Rikudo knew that the questions were pointless; actions of ten years ago could hardly effect what was happening now. But he needed to know. Needed to voice his questions though nobody would answer him. For ten years, Kouryuu had become an obsession with him, fueled by the talisman's burning need to consume the younger man's soul.

"It's your fault that I can't let go and just die," Rikudo hissed into Sanzo's ear. "I want you to suffer as much pain as I did."

xxx

If Rikudo killed him, a part of Sanzo would be very grateful. In reality, the blonde had wanted to commit suicide for a very long time now. The only things that stopped him were cowardice and the desire to retrieve his master's stolen sutra.

Sanzo was ready to die when Rikudo suddenly pulled out of him and clutched at the talisman embedded in his chest. He opened his mouth in a silent scream as if he were in pain. The binding spell was instantly released and Sanzo thought about trying to escape from his bonds.

The prayer beads around his wrists began to glow red then they shattered, throwing red shards in all directions. The only thing that supported Sanzo now was the cloth tied around his waist to the tree. He tried to untie himself then fell to the ground on his knees.

Rikudo lay writhing and thrashing on the ground, pained sounds coming out of his mouth. Not knowing why he did it, Sanzo crawled over towards the older man.

"Kill me now, Kouryuu," the demon slayer managed to gasp out.

The talisman clenched tighter in its position on Rikudo's chest. The curse was spiraling out of control and the prayer beads, which where the only things that seemed to keep Rikudo half-way sane, couldn't control it anymore.

Sanzo was torn in half. He knew that he should kill Rikudo to ensure the safety of their group but Shuei's face kept asserting itself. He had harbored feelings for the older monk and maybe he still did. That was the reason why he had given Shuei the prayer beads ten years ago and maybe that was why he went looking for Rikudo.

Maybe that was why he didn't want to kill him.

It seemed like an out-of-body experience the way the shoureiju suddenly found its way into his shaking hands. The way Rikudo grabbed his wrist to steady him. The way he pulled the trigger and watched Rikudo die with a smile on his lips.

Sanzo put his clothes back on after wrapping Rikudo's shawl around his waist to serve as a bandage for his wound. He stood up and winced at the pain that came when he tried to walk but he shrugged it off and forced himself to move normally, practicing until it looked like nothing was wrong. He went back towards the road only to find the others waiting for him in Hakuryuu.

"Going our way?" Gojyo asked.

"Maybe we can give you a lift," Hakkai said and cocked his head to one side.

"Only ten-thousand yen," Goku added with a smile.

The blonde managed to give one of his rare smiles and climbed into the dragon-turned-jeep. "Anyone wakes me up, I'll kill them."

As purple eyes slid shut, an image of a smiling Shuei shattered into blood-red shards behind them.

This part seems to be more in-depth than the first installment, ne? Oh well, I guess I've evolved into a darker, angstier creature…

Before I forget, gomen if the sequencing of events and dialogue are off, I haven't had time to re-watch the episode where this fic was based. I'm actually supposed to be studying for my exams…