Hey guys! I just finished reading Ptolemy's Gate (glances at watch) about half an hour ago, and am currently going through a state of total devastation. This is a song for Nathaniel based on the song from Phantom of the Opera of the same name. OMG, I wish I could cry him...

Disclaimer: I do not own The Bartimaeus Trilogy, or else Nathaniel wouldn't be dead...also, I don't own the musical Phantom of the Opera (music by Andrew Lloyd Webber, lyrics by Charles Hart)...but God, they hurt me so much right now!

You were once a loathed enemy

That was all that mattered.

Then you became what you really meant to be…

Now my world lies shattered.

Wishing you were somehow here again

Wishing you were somehow near…

But there is no body for me to bury

And I just wish I wasn’t here.

Wishing I could hear your voice again

Knowing that I never will…

Dreaming of you won’t help me to do

All that we dreamed we could.

Passing bells and sculpted angels…

There are none here for you.

But would they really be the right companions?

You were so brave…but gentle, too.

Too many years fighting back tears…

Why did you have to die?

Why can’t the past just die?

Wishing you were somehow here again

Knowing I must say goodbye.

I’ll try to forgive

If you can teach me to live.

Give me the strength to try…

No more memories

No more silent tears

No more gazing across your wasted years…

Help me say goodbye, Nathaniel.