Authoress’ Notes: Hooray! It’s finally here! The much-wanted sequel to the famous “Pikario & Chuigi” series is here! XD As for the game itself, I hate to admit it, but everything was a little... lacking. Not that it wasn’t good, but it pales in comparison to the first, which isn’t saying much, because EVERYBODY loves the first M&L, don’t they? But... the one thing about the game that pissed me off the most was THE ANNOYING BATTLE MUSIC, OH MY GOD! Holy crap, if it weren’t for the fact that I was constantly trying to push the ‘Y’ button and keep Luigi’s sorry ass alive, I probably wouldn’t have finished it in 4 days. (Starting around 7:30am, Dec. 25 and finishing around 5:30am, Dec. 28) I also gained a little inspiration from it that I might add into “BOA” later. (It has something to do with the final bosses; I love them so. They remind me of Vivian and Marilyn. :D) But yeah, enough of my crap. Enjoy the story!

Pikario & Chuigi: Bozos in Time!

Chapter 1: Back to the Future... or Forward to the Past!

KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! HERE WE ARE! IN THE UNIVERSE! OMG! And in this universe, there’s a planet called Earth! And on this planet, there’s a kingdom; the Shroomish Kingdom!

...But that’s not the point! The point is, that there is... ANOTHER planet! Yes, Earth is not the only planet full of unintelligent life! Anyway, this other planet is very freaky! Its freaky natives float freakily in space, freakily looking down upon this freaky planet Earth that is very freaky, or if it is, it’s less freaky than these freaky freaks! And now, even as we speak, they freakily plot their freaky plans to freakily take over this pathetic, little freaky kingdom and make it as their own freaky kingdom! Why? BECAUSE THEY’RE FREAKY! ...Plus, aliens have this bad habit of taking over planets as a guilty pleasure, so...

BACK ON EARTH! The Shroomish Kingdom: Circa 20 Years Ago!

It was a super, happy fun-filled day and Baby Pikario and Baby Chuigi were walking along the road merrily, for they were going to see their bestest best fwiend in da whole wide wohld, Pwincess Peachie! Aww! CUTE!

“Ah! Yes, Baby Mario and Luigi are here!” Shroomsworth welcomed the two, lugging around some beer! “You want to see the princess, right? Yes, of course I’m right! What the hell? I’m talking to a pair of dumbass babies! Do you even understand me?”

“EETZ PWAY TIME NOOOOOOW!” Baby Pikario shouted, as he jumped on Shroomsworth and started humping his leg!

“GAH!” Shroomsworth kicked him off. “DISGUSTING LITTLE RAT! GET AWAY FROM ME! You’re lucky I let you come today! The only reason you and you’re presumably gay brother are here is because Peach won’t shut the hell up until she gets some playmates!”

Baby Pikario blinked cutely. “...Pway time?”

“More like ‘Get away from me and leave me to my liquor’ time!” the Breloom spat as he tossed the two into the next room! “I swear... I don’t get enough ass for this... And I thought women liked babies... WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING WRONG?”

“WHEEEEEEEE!” Baby Peach jumped off a chandelier, did a perfect summersault, and landed on the ground! “YAAAAAY!”

“PWAY TIME!” Baby Pikario shouted as he ran in!

“Pway time?” Baby Peach was confused, then happy! “PWAY TIME!”

Baby Pikario then proceeded to start humping her, as an involuntary kind of thing! ...And she enjoyed it!

“Ooooh, ‘ou gunna git in twouble!” Baby Chuigi pointed out!

Just then, BOOOOOM! It’s Baby Bowser the Squirtle! CUTE!

Shroomsworth stumbled in, obviously intoxicated. “I SAY! WHAT IS THIS? I’m trying to get drunk here!”

“Beat it, Gramps! The princess belongs to me now, as I am currently undergoing rigorous training for the repetitive kidnapping of her in the future! MWAHAHAHAHA!” Baby Bowser laughed!

“Oh, yeah?” Shroomsworth challenged. “Well, I’m almost 100 percent un-sober, so I can take you on!”

Baby Bowser touched his leg!

Shroomsworth fell to the ground! “AH! MY HIP!”

“HA HA! WIMP!” the baby prince taunted.

“Hey!” Baby Pikario was pissed! “Dat’s not vewy nicey-poo!”

“‘Nicey-poo’? Get some speech therapy, freak! That’s not even a word!” Baby Bowser scoffed.

“FIGHT TYME EEZ NOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!” Baby Pikario leapt into battle!

Baby Bowser sweatdropped. “What?”

Bottle Mode Start! GOO GOO!

Baby Bowser frowned. “What the fuck? ‘Bottle Mode’? It’s ‘BATTLE Mode’, you ass! What’s wrong with you?”

Baby Pikario used Diaper! EWW! IT STINKS SO BAD!

“ACK! Holy crap, that reeks!” Baby Bowser choked! “Alright, that’s it! IT’S GO TIME!”

Baby Bowser used Water Gun, but Baby Pikario swallowed it!

Baby Bowser raised an eyebrow. “What the hell...?”

Baby Pikario used Wet Diaper! SOMEONE GET THE TOILET!

“EWW! You wet me!” Baby Bowser’s lip started trembling! “You... you... you big... meanie! WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

Baby Pikario saw this... and started crying, too! “WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

Baby Chuigi and Baby Peach weren’t even in the fight and they started crying! “WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

Bottle Mode... Completed? Oh no! This didn’t go over well at all!

Irritated, Shroomsworth started shaking Baby Bowser! “You see what you did? Now, they’re gonna be like this for the rest of the night! So much for peace and quiet...”

“It’s not my fault!” Baby Bowser continued to wail. “As heir to my nonexistent father’s throne, I hafta do this! You think I like comin’ here everyday, when I can be outside, dropping dirty diapers on people? I’m making a great sacrifice here!”

Then, BOOM! Uh, AGAIN!

Shroomsworth looked out the window! “What the—Hey! I must be... uh...what do these kids call it these days...? Oh yeah! I’m totally gettin’ jiggly wit it, ‘aight?”

Baby Chuigi stopped crying and also looked out the window. “OOH! DONUTZ! EYE WANNA DONUT!”

Baby Pikario joined in the window gazing. “Where donutz? I WUNT SUM NOW!”

Outside, the castle was being INVADED BY ALIENS! ...Wow, isn’t that cliché...? But they were everywhere and blowing up the castle!

...Oh, who can possibly stop this takeover from ensuing and destroying our favorite Baby duo, not to mention the future princess and all the unimportant Shroomishes who happen to live there? Will it be someone heroic and dashing? Someone with a heart of gold and a sense of adventure? Why, it might even be someone who’s purity of heart can change the very world as we know it...

...Unfortunately for us, we get stuck with the bozos, the older Pikario & Chuigi... Dear friends, the end of the world is near...

The Shroomish Kingdom: Circa...um... NOW!

And now, it’s time for the Shroomish Kingdom News, or SKN! As all of you shrooms out there know, Professor E. Gadd, who decided to do this for NO reason whatsoever, has made a time machine! ...What the hell? Wasn’t he supposed to be engrossed with ghosts for all eternity and beyond? ...No? Eh... Anyway, Princess Peach, being the ass she is, has volunteered to test it out, traveling back in time! ...Wouldn’t it make more sense if some random, unimportant Shroomishes were sent instead, because you know DAMN WELL she’s not coming back in that thing, as someone, somewhere for some freaky reason or other will just have to abduct her... Meh... And, as if anyone cares, retarded heroes Pikario & Chuigi are here on the scene, not like them being here actually matters, ya know...

“Shut up! You’re not on air anymore!” Pikario punched the Lakitu’s camera, breaking it in the process!

“AHH! You’re gonna pay for that! WHY AM I SO UNLOVED?” Lakitu bellowed before flying away.

“Because birds who always have their heads in the clouds never get laid!” Chuigi rudely remarked!

Pikario made a face. “Chuigi, if you haven’t noticed, you’re still a virgin, too...”

“Yeah, well...” he quickly searched for an answer. “Birds... birds are retarded, so I don’t count!”

“Whatever... Virgo...”

“THAT’S JUST A COINCIDENCE!”

“PRIIIIIIIIIIINCESSSSSS!” an older, crankier, more perverted Shroomsworth bellowed! “Why did I ever let you get talked into doing such a ridiculous thing? I SHUN MYSELF WITH SHAME!”

“Gah... will someone please shut him up? He’s been doing that for over an hour now...” E. Gadd grumbled.

Pikario promptly picked up his little brother and jammed his head into Shroomsworth’s mouth! “There! Happy, now?”

“...That’s not exactly what I had in mind...” Chuigi pouted.

“I already told you; Peach is fine, jeez! There’s a 99. percent chance of her returning safe and sound, okay?” E. Gadd said, also getting very annoyed.

“Oh no! It looks like Shroomsworth has randomly died!” Pikario shouted!

Shroomsworth yanked Chuigi out of his mouth and scowled. “No, I did--”

WHAM! Pikario knocked out Shroomsworth!

“I reiterate!” he shouted again. “It looks like Shroomsworth has randomly died!”

“...Well, at least it shut him up...” E. Gadd mumbled, going back to inexplicably doing something he wasn’t a second ago!

Then, BOOM! Okay, this is getting repetitive... The Time Machine appeared out of nowhere and it looked like it’d been to hell and back!

“What the fuck happened here?” Chuigi asked.

Pikario sneered. “Okay, she’s back! Now, outta the way so we can go up to her room and um... ‘negotiate’... Yeah... that’s a good word...”

“You’re just trying to rub it in, AREN’T YOU?” Chuigi glared from the other side of the room, then randomly added, “AND I’M NOT GAY, EITHER!”

Shroomsworth rammed Pikario out the way! “MOVE IT, BUSTER! You and your sexy shenanigans are really starting to piss me off!

“Eww... Do you mean that in a good way, or a bad way?” Chuigi grimaced.

Pikario threw a DS at his bro! “SHUT UP!”

“Oh, Peach! I’ve been so worried! Are you...?”

"悲しい敗者! 貴重な王女決して会うことができない! 私達は引き継ぐすべてを!" 1) Some crazy, deformed Breloom stepped out! It looked like a friggin’ T-Rex!

E. Gadd freaked out! “What the hell?”

“Wow, Peach!” Chuigi laughed! “You really let yourself go, huh?”

"私が言ったことを公正なない聞いたか。行っている!" 2) the Shroomishroob alien thing flipped Pikario off!

“HEY! I don’t know the hell you just said, but THAT...” Pikario pointed at the middle finger! “...MEANS WAR!”

Chuigi sweatdropped. “Come again?”

Battle Mode Start! 0h n03z!1!one11!111eleven1! r4nd0m b4ttl3 wi7h 4n 3vil 4li3n!one111!

"HAHAHAHAHAHA! 今日行っている、小さい人!" 3) the alien said!

“I CAN’T UNDERSTAND YOU!” At that point, Pikario then took out a bazooka! “THIS is what crazy-ass people like you get when you mess with the master!”

The Shroomishroob sweatdropped! “...から来られてか。ことしたところちょっと、今?” 4)

Then, Chuigi realized something! “Hey! How come I’m not in this fight?”

“Because your stupid puns and tidbits are starting to get gay!” Shroomsworth shot back.

Chuigi pulled on his ears! “For the last time, I’M NOT GAY! And even if I was, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with the matter! Gay people are just as smart and talented as normal people except... well, they’re gay... BUT THAT’S NOT THE POINT!”

BOO—You know what? Screw it! No more ‘BOOM’s today! We’ve already gone past our limit! Pikario shoot the Shroomishroob thing!

Battle Mode Completed! NO MORE BOOMS? YOU MUST BE MAD!

“Well, that was exciting,” Pikario remarked in a very bland way.

Looking inside the machine, a Shroomish panicked. “ACK! Not good! Not good! Peach ain’t in there! She ain’t in there, yo!”

Chuigi shrugged. “Like we didn’t see this coming?”

Just then... uh... EXPLOSION NOISE! It came from outside!

Pikario whipped around. “NOW what?”

“After that RPG-induced battle you just had, I’d say it was probably a plot hole or something, randomly appearing in the middle of the front lawn,” Chuigi gratuitously answered.

Pikario punched him in the nose! “STOP BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL!”

Then, a Shroomish ran in. “Hey! Hey! There’s like, something outside that’s, like, all swirly and stuff! What the hell is it, sirs?”

“Eh, it’s probably just another Time Hole or something...” E. Gadd shrugged.

Chuigi raised an ear. “Wow, that was random...”

“What do you mean another Time Hole? What is a Time Hole? Why is it out there? Why wasn’t I memoed about this?” Shroomsworth demanded!

The Spinda pointed towards the sky. “I suggest everybody stop bitching and follow me outside! TO THE FRONT YARD!”

And with that, he magically flew into the DS’s Top Screen, which doesn’t really exist, and made his way to the front lawn, which is actually the courtyard, but that sounds too proper and saying ‘front lawn’ is funnier!

After a while of staring at the DS’s Top Screen, which doesn’t really exist, Chuigi cleared his throat. “...Think he gets frequent flyer miles?”

Pikario glared at him. “...That was really gay, man.”

E. Gadd stood in front of a swirly, whirly thingy! “Just as I predicted; A TIME HOLE HAS APPEARED!”

Pikario fingered his ears. “Dude, why are you yelling? We’re right freaking here!”

“And I thought Peach used your time machine thingy to go to the past... So... why is there a Time Hole here?” the Pichu asked.

“And why is everybody referring to it so ordinarily? It just... popped up out of nowhere and you all act like crap like this happens everyday!” Shroomsworth pouted.

E. Gadd yanked on his strand of hair in aggravation. “FOR GOD’S SAKE! It’s a rift in the Time Space Continuum! By sending my time machine into the past, I’ve changed it, therefore, this Time Hole is the result of the rip in the Time Space Continuum!”

“Don’t ‘rip’ and ‘rift’ mean the same thing?” Chuigi frankly inquired.

Pikario smacked him in the back of the head. “What do I have to do to shut you up?”

“Fine, then! Master Mario, you and the other guy shall go through this thing and save the princess!” the evil, old Breloom shouted.

“But we don’t know where this Time Hole leads!” said E. Gadd.

“Wouldn’t it, like, lead to here, only in the past, and stuff?” a random Shroomish asked.

E. Gadd adjusted his glasses! “...No.”

“Hmm...” Chuigi peeked into the Time Hole. “It’s like being drunk... but without the hangovers! I can stare at this thing all day!”

“I wouldn’t get too close to that, Chuigi...” E. Gadd warned, not even paying attention, as he was busy making another invention because he knew what was going to happen next!

“Yeah... we wouldn’t want you to fall into another dimension, with no possible hope of getting back to our time ever again... No, we wouldn’t want that...” Pikario inched closer to Chuigi’s derriere! UH OH!

“...Are you trying to imply that I’m gay?” Chuigi randomly defended for about the 15th time, not turning around.

Pikario threw him into the Time Hole! “No! I’m trying to imply that you’re an ass! Sayonara, sucker!”

“OH, CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...!” Chuigi disappeared into the Time Hole, with the addition of seizure-inducing lights and stars! PRETTY!

Pikario sarcastically shrugged. “Oops?”

“WHAT THELL JUST HAPPENED?” called Shroomsworth from the ground, who was currently having a seizure!

“Well, that’s just fucking great. Now you have to go get him!” Gadd scolded, knowing this was going to happen anyway!

“Uh... no.” Pikario scoffed.

“Yes...” E. Gadd disagreed!

“No...”

“YES!”

“NO!”

“YES!”

“NO! And that’s final! No matter what you or what you say, you can’t make me go!” Pikario finished!

“Ahh!” Pikario fell on his ass! “Damn you, E. Gadd! Damn you and your nonsensical logics about cheese! I’ll get you back one day, dammit! Just you wait! I’m going to kill your mom, then who’ll be laughing? Huh? HUH? THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT!”

“Can you get off me?” a rather smushed Chuigi mumbled.

Pikario did so and kicked Chuigi in the side! “This is all your fault, you know! If you hadn’t fallen through that hole, none of this would’ve ever happened!”

“...And the fact that you’re the one who threw me in is my fault, too, I’m assuming?”

Pikario kicked him again! “YES!”

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH! A suitcase came through the Time Hole!

“Hello! My name is Stuffwell and I’ll be your suitcase guy!” said the cute suitcase! "NICE TO MEET YOU!"

“Ack! A zombie!” Chuigi panicked and jumped into a nearby tree.

Pikario shrugged. “A talking suitcase who looks like that evil Smiley-Face guy from Wal-Mart...? Must be the booze kickin’ in again...”

“I was actually the suitcase you had on your last adventure, but the professor made me into a real boy! ...er, suitcase... for your convenience!” Stuffwell smiled.

Chuigi poked his head through the tree’s branches. “You know, you’d think he’d have the decency to give us a new suitcase, not one that’s possessed and all evil-like.”

Stuffwell frowned. “I’m not possessed anymore! The professor used SCIENCE to rid me of that awful demeanor and give me this brand new, living one!”

Pikario sweatdropped. “And how did he do that?”

“Science is retarded and doesn’t need reason for things to happen, so...” the luggage responded.

“Whatever. Talking suitcases are the shit--” Chuigi fell out the tree and onto his head! “...Ow?”

“I am also a functional computer, capable of downloading porn, playing mp3s, accessing AOL, and randomly computing words like ‘LOL’ and ‘OMGWTFBBQ?’ in big, flashing letters and background!”

“Really? Sweet!” Pikario picked up Stuffwell. “I say we take him and see if we can find anyone who suffers from epilepsy!”

“That and save the princess?” Chuigi grudgingly asked.

Pikario sweatdropped. “You can’t ever let things end on a good note, can you?”

“...No. No, I can’t.”

AWKWARD SILENCE TIME!

"Yes, well... anyway... I'm here to help you on your quest to find the princess!" said Stuffwell. "I can hold your crap and occasionally fling it at people!"

Chuigi raised an eyebrow. "Okay, but how come you can talk? E. Gadd made you as a computer/suitcase... thing... and those don't usually talk..."

"Because two's company and three's a crowd! In other words, I am specifically inclined to help you have fun!" Stuffwell winked!

Chuigi sweatdropped. "That didn't answer my question..."

Pikario pushed him over! "Who cares about that? Okay... Stuffwell! If you're a computer, then tell us where we are! I don't like getting drunk in strange, unknown places besides the ones in my head!"

"Certainly!" Stuffwell looked around, seeing nothing but trees, flowers, and... oh yeah! The sky! Finished with his observation, he turned back to Pikario with a smile! "WE ARE COMPLETLY LOST! I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE WE ARE!"

Pikario and Chuigi both facefaulted! "Whaddya mean you don't know where we are?"

Stuffwell sweatdropped. "I mean, I don't know! We're outside Christmashanukkahkwanzaa Village, but as of our exact location, I AM CLUELESS!"

"Uh..." Pikario scowled. "Outside Christmashanukkahkwanzaa Village is a place, you know. So, that's where we are..."

"O RLY?" the suitcase asked!

"YA RLY!" the brothers replied!

"O RLY?"

"YA RLY!"

"O RLY?"

"YA RLY!"

Authoress’ Notes: Yay, Chapter 1 is done and quite longer than I first imagined! The "O RLY?" "YA RLY!" part is an inside joke I heard from a forum, basically meaning, "Oh, really?" and "Yeah, really!", so if youdon't get it, don't worry about it. Oh, and no offense to gay people. XD I really do like them because they have a colorful outlook of the world and see things in such a positive way! That was just a joke, with Chuigi and all. You know how it is. Translations are now.

1) “PATHETIC LOSERS! YOU CAN NEVER SEE YOUR PRECIOUS PRINCESS! WE SHALL TAKE OVER ALL!”

2) “DID YOU NOT JUST HEAR WHAT I SAID? YOU ARE GOING DOWN!”

3) “HAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU ARE GOING DOWN TODAY, LITTLE MAN!”

4) “...Hey, now where’d that come from?”