Look Both Ways

It's shocking to find out you're adopted. It's more shocking when after years your real mother returns to take you away after seeing you named as duelist champ on tv. Judai is in for more trouble than he wants...JxA

A/N: (cries) It feels really sad and good to be updating some of my stories for once. I am so sorry for abandoning my duty as an author but a whole lot of crap got in the way and also my horrid memory... So anyways, hopefully I can make it up to you, my readers (if there still is anyone XD), by updating with this chapter. Hopefully it will make your over-a-year-wait worthwhile...

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It was raining again and Judai lay in bed, wide awake and staring at the ceiling except not truly seeing it. His mind was occupied with memories and thoughts of his mother--her reappearance, the abuse she put him through, all the pain and suffering he had endured while he lived with her. He remembered how many rainy nights such as this night that he would cry himself to sleep. He cried so much that eventually he couldn't shed a tear anymore even when his mother would backhand his face, step on his feet deliberately as she walked past him in her stilettos.

All the memories; everything.

It all hurt.

They were all too painful to remember and yet, Judai could not erase them from his memories, nor could he pushed them out of his thoughts as he rolled over onto his side and punched his pillow into a shape he believed to be more comfortable.

After a few moments of trying to tempt sleep to take over him, Judai sighed and sat up in bed, running a trembling hand through his hair. At that moment, his phone rang and he glanced over at it, contemplating whether or not to venture over to it across the room and answer it. Sighing once more, he got up out of bed and approached the phone, checking the caller ID before answering.

It was Asuka's number.

Biting back irritation at the fact that she'd rather call him than talk to him face to face, Judai picked up the receiver and answered. "Hello?"

"J-Judai..." Asuka stammered, sounding far more nervous than Judai expected her to be.

"Asuka, why are you calling me?" Judai asked, deciding to be blunt.

There was a pause as Asuka hesitated and then she spoke up, her voice weak as if she were now unsure of her decision. "I thought... that you wouldn't really... want to talk to me, I mean, you looked like... you were pre-occupied with something else and... I didn't want to... bother you too much..." Asuka trailed off feeling completely idiotic.

Yet at her words, Judai's heart softened and he spoke gently into the phone. "Asuka... how could you believe that you would bother me? You're the only person I actually want to see right now..."

Blushing, Asuka smiled as she held back the tears from forming at the corners of her eyes. "Can I come see you then?" she whispered the question into the phone.

"I want you here," was Judai's reply causing Asuka's heart to skip a beat.

"Okay, I'll see you in a few minutes then," Asuka said softly into the phone before hanging up.

Things were finally looking up.

Judai smiled to himself as he walked back to his bed and sat on the edge of it, thinking only of Asuka when there was a knock on his door. He glanced up at the door and frowned, knowing that Asuka could not have possibly come that quickly. He got up once more from his bed and headed towards the door, curious as to who could possibly awaiting him outside of it. As his hand met the door knob he suddenly felt queasy but could not understand why.

But when he opened the door, calling out "hello?" as his eyes greeted the sight before him, he immediately understood why.

"Hello Judai," his mother said, smiling up at him.

Judai gulped and seemed frozen as he continued to stare in horror at his mother, memories of her flashing in his mind. His numb mind slowly registered that she was indeed standing before him and not his imagination, and he gradually moved back, his fear still controlling him as he shakily attempted to close the door on his mother.

Her hand reached out and stopped the door from closing and her head appeared around the door, a disapproving frown on her face. "Judai! You won't even let your own mother in?" she asked, shocked at his reaction.

Words seemed to fail Judai as his mother invited herself in by pushing the door open and closing it behind her before removing her coat and placing it on the coat stand beside the door. She sighed in relief and then turned to Judai and smiled softly at him as tears formed at the corners of her eyes. "It's been so long... and I know that I've been a horrible mother... leaving you alone all this time without keeping in contact but Judai, I wanted to say that I was sorry... that I still love you, my son," she whispered as she stepped towards Judai, arms out with the intention of embracing him.

There was no reaction from Judai as his mother embraced him and sobbed into his chest, his mind was too stunned to think, his body too numb to move. He couldn't understand what was happening, nor comprehend what his mother was saying. All he could think of was his mother's hand roughly pulling at his hair as a child and slinging him into his bedroom wall, shouting profanity at him as his body ached all over and he begged for her to stop.

"P-Please... please stop..." Judai whispered causing his mother to stiffen.

The young Judai was crying and yet his mother still reached down and pulled him up by the hair before beating him repeatedly even though he screamed and cried for her to stop.

These memories were forcing Judai's mouth to open and repeat words that he had constantly cried to his mother as she abused him mercilessly. "Mother... it hurts... please stop..." he whispered.

His mother pulled away and looked up at him, the look in her eye causing the fear from his childhood inside him to stir. "Judai," she began softly, "I don't understand what you mean. I just want to be a family again. We can live together again, away from this place and I'll look after you like I used to..."

"No. NO!" Judai shouted, memories of his old home returning to him. "I won't go! Not with you; not with someone I don't consider a mother!" he yelled, his mind finally kicking into gear and he pushed his mother away roughly.

Silence rang out through the room.

Judai was rooted to the spot and unable to move. He knew what this silence meant. It was the silence from his childhood that signalled that his mother was about to hit him. Silence that warned him to cringe away from his mother's hand. To protect himself as his mother lashed out at him again and again. When he was six he used to think to himself that his mother was just sick, that she was only venting out her anger on him because she was sick and that she didn't understand that she was hurting him. But when he had turned seven and was admitted to hospital by his step-father with the excuse that school bullies had beaten him up and had had to avoid police involvement which his mother resolved by moving to another city, he came to the realisation that his mother was sick but not in the way he thought normal.

His mother smiled up at him, a smile he could see through and knew she was forcing. "You're just upset that you're leaving your friends, but once you're with me, everything will be just fine--"

"I won't go with you, you're the last person on earth that I'd want to be with. You... don't you have any shame to come back here expecting me to come back to you?"

Once those words escaped from his mouth, Judai knew that he had no chance now; that he had pushed too far.

It was unexpected and Judai fell to his knees at the blow to his stomach. He coughed and attempted to protect himself but as when he was young, his mother was far too fast. She brought her fist down onto his cheek and swiftly kicked the other side of his face, sending him sprawling. He was dizzy and uncoordinated but managed to retaliate by hitting her when she had approached him. Her reaction was what caused him to yell in pain.

She dug her nails into his face, scratching wildly before kneeing him in the stomach and winding him. He attempted to swing at her again but she brought her arm down around his neck and flung him to the ground, his head creating an awful sound as it hit the floor.

That was when she bought it out.

Her cigarette pack and lighter.

She placed a foot on Judai's chest and pressed down on it causing him to cry out as she took a seat on the edge of Judai's bed, her foot still resting on him. She put the cigarette into her mouth and clicked the lighter on. "Whoever said," she mumbled whilst lighting the cigarette, "that I would allow you to make your own decision about this matter?" she asked aloud, not expecting an answer from Judai and taking a long drag from her cigarette before blowing the smoke out.

Suddenly, she swiftly reached down and pushed the lit cigarette end on Judai's left cheek causing him to scream. Pulling the cigarette back, she brought it to her lips and continued to smoke, ignoring Judai's cries. She then turned and glared at him as the cries had grown as an annoyance to her ears. "You make me sick. Your face, everything about you pisses me off. Why the hell are you still living? Why the hell do you deserve to live and make an ass of yourself while I'm suffering? Huh? Why don't you tell me you freakin' fag?" she asked, kicking out at his ribs with her other foot with each sentence she said. "You make me sick!" she yelled, spitting in his face and giving him another round of beatings.

Another rib snapped. Another cigarette burn. Blood. Blood. It was splattered on her face now. He must've coughed it out when she had punched him... what number of time would it have been now? His mind was growing foggy. He couldn't think straight anymore. He felt like dying. Yes, maybe that was a better alternative. Asuka's crying face appeared in his head.

'I'm sorry Asuka...' Judai thought as she continued to sob in his mind, his conscious slowly slipping away as his eyes closed. 'The pain... is too much...'

-

Once again, Asuka knocked firmly on Judai's door and waited, impatient. What could he possibly be doing? Why wasn't he answering the door? He knew she was coming, so why was he taking so long? Asuka sighed and stared at the door. Should she try and force it open? Afterall, Judai could've collapsed on the floor and could be suffering a stroke or something of the sort. Asuka mentally slapped herself. She was over-reacting as usual.

Maybe... he had changed his mind and didn't want to see her any more. At that thought, Asuka's heart sank. Even though this was a possibility she still couldn't believe it because of his sincere words on the phone. He couldn't possibly have been lying to her...

Asuka wasn't sure anymore. All she knew was that it was too late to do anything else tonight. So she decided, that it was best for her to talk to Judai tomorrow when she got the opportunity.

With that in mind, she turned and began to head back to her dorm, glancing over her shoulder every now and then and wondering whether or not she was making the right decision.

She just couldn't shake off this ominous feeling.

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Yay! I finally updated! As you can tell, once I again, I totally fail at descriptions but hey, I tried and at least I updated. Please review, it means a lot to me.