Standing alone...

Nothing around...there's no fear...

Or is there?

Maybe our greatest fear...

Is being alone

With nothing to own...

With no tears,

With no heart...

With no other being

Without fears...

No other clone...

Nothing to do...

You're always alone

When it's just you

Quatre stared down at his English essay, sighing as he thought what another boring Thursday morning it was going to be. This is so stupid. "Describe what this poem is trying to express." I'll tell you what I'm trying to express. This is the dumbest question I've read! What is it trying to express, pfft. It's trying to say: BEING ALONE SUCKS!

Nearly crunching his pencil, he wrote exactly what he thought on the page.

At age 17, Quatre Raberba Winner had very much changed since the war between the Earth's Sphere Unified Alliance and OZ. Even from a year ago, when Mariemaia kidnapped Relena Peacecraft. It all had happened so mysteriously and yet so quickly as well. Nothing seemed to be wrong, for a while.

Quatre had returned to his school, carefree and exuberant. At least…so is had seemed. After the winter break, Quatre had changed. His classmates never recalled anything so dramatic. 'Quatre used to have top grades in his senior year' they would whisper. 'He was an outstanding violinists' the teachers would gossip. Perhaps the most asked question was 'What happened?'

For Quatre was no longer Quatre. He did not seem to feel the need to exceed, the want to strive. The student that all the teachers were sure he would finish his year with top honours…but that was no longer…there. It seems the Quatre who had leaded the force who put an end to the war was gone forever.

Because at the moment, the new 'Quatre' was sitting in English class, reading a poem about fear, decked out, not in his usual pink, but in black. From his Under Armour t-shirt, Old Navy cargo pants down to his combat boots, Quatre was utterly and completely different. He looked the part of rebel more than hero.

The more drastic change than his appearance was his personality. Quatre was no longer quiet and polite as he usually was, he was now more arrogant, rude, and a complete jerk.

Screw this…why must I be here? I know I'm just going to be a politician when I grow up, like I have a choice. Geez...I hate this place…a complete waste of time this is.

Quatre was slowly depriving himself of everything he had once loved. The world he had once cherished, the earth he had once vowed to protect by death….he now hated. Everything…everyone…he despised it all.

"Ara...ARaaa…ARA!"

Ara awoke from her daydream. "What?" she snapped, slamming her locker shut. She was quite moody these days.

"What's wrong with you? You're so distant these days."

"Jo, I know how to take care of myself, just leave me alone for now…see you…" Ara said, in the calmest voice she could summon. She walked off quickly. She had a free period, and intended to use it trying to track down Quatre, the root of ALL her problems.

She turned to the front doors of the school just as a blonde flash whipped out of sight behind the door. "QUATRE!" she screamed, tearing after him. She flung the door open and grabbed him by the arm and was about to drag him into the school when a totally unfamiliar voice said, "Uhh…excuse me….who are you? And can I have my arm back?"

Ara turned around, "Omigosh, uhh, sorry!" she said, letting go of his arm, "I thought you were someone else, bye!"

She ran back into the school, completely flushed from embarrassment. Oh my god. What the hell is wrong with me? Ara was completely spinning out of control in her head. Either way, she marched defiantly through the halls, her head was down, and was mentally arguing with herself. What the $ was I thinking. Well, last time I checked, thinking about Quatre. Was NOT. You were SO thinking about him.Shut up, aren't you supposed to be on MY side? You ARE me, aren't you? Of course I'm YOU, but I'm your conscience and your conscience says what you don't. You think about Quatre 24/7! Hahaha, you LOoooVE him, you wanna huuuuGGg him, you wanna k-

"Whoa!" Ara suddenly found herself flat on the ground, her Bio 12 textbook and binder 10 feet away, and staring into the fiercest eyes she had ever seen. For a moment, she thought it was a teacher, then she realised that those blue eyes….were very familiar...

"Quatre…" She breathed. It did not seem to move the coldness from his eyes.

"Watch where you're going" He said quietly and walked away, his footsteps echoing throughout the school.

It gave Ara the shivers, for she could no longer feel care in Quatre's voice…it was as though…he had died…he was gone…he no longer loved her.

"Hey…so what happened?"

Ara was sitting across the table from Joey in the cafeteria, absent-mindedly eating the fries that were in front of her. What's up with Quatre...why are these fries so dry…why was he so cold…what happened to him?

"OUCH! JOEY! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?" Ara rubbed her arm intensely having just experienced one of Joey's "Prickling Pinches" as she so cleverly named them. They hurt a lot. A lot a lot. It had the reputation of staying there for sometime, the pain that is.

"For not paying attention, you are so…absorbed, no wait, obsessed." Joey said, quite impatiently and, by the look on her face, annoyed. "Can't you get it out of your frickin' mind that SOMETHING happened to Quatre?"

Ara, one that was usually patient and quiet, suddenly blew up as if Joey was the fire that lit Ara, the dynamite.

"Of course SOMETHING happened, whatever that is, NO ONE KNOWS. You know why? Cause nobody in this world gives a damn about him, NO ONE BUT ME! And if you didn't notice, Quatre's been a bit cold lately, and I don't think that being 'nice' to him is going to change it. Now leave me ALONE."

Short-tempered, as always, Joey stood up and leaned in to Ara, just a bit, and said quietly, although you could see the fire ablaze in her eyes, "Just because you love him…doesn't mean you're the only one that cares. Never…ever…say that I don't…you should know better…" She grabbed her bag and walked away, letting Ara sit there, alone with only her thoughts, her lingering fury and an odd sense that she had done more harm then good.

God...socials is…just…SO boring...I think I'll just…rest a bit…

"Quatre!" The golden haired Arabian turned around and was tackled by a blur of black as the thing wrapped its arms around him.

"Hey Ara, have a good summer?"

She looked up at Quatre, staring at him with her silky grey eyes (he noted how beautiful they were…) and said exasperatedly, "Have a good summer? Are you kidding me? I spent the whole time worrying about you! I can't believe you're back!" She absolutely squealed and gave him another tight hug.

"I'm glad I'm back too,"Quatre said sighing as he returned the embrace, "Now I can spend all my time being with the friend that's known me the longest…and the best…you, Ara."

"QUATRE RABERBA WINNER, What in God's name do you think you're doing?"

Quatre awoke with a start, "What? Lester B. Pearson!" He gave a giant stretch and looked up at Mr. Tawn, whose face looked no more sympathetic as a dead racoon's.

"We are studying the Vietnam War, Mr. Winner, and you have just earned yourself a detention, report here after your next class. Seriously, you never used to be like this." Mr. Tawn said, walking away.

"Maybe that wasn't really me." Quatre muttered, rolling his eyes.

The teacher paused and slowly turned around.

"Mr. Winner, I never knew a soul more incompetent. You used to WANT to try your best, I'm afraid you are sadly mistaken to say that it was not you. For the Winner I knew was exactly that…and for the most part, it made him happy."

What do you mean? It sounds as though you think I'm not happy right now…of course I'm happy…but… Quatre got a sudden sight of the pair of innocent grey eyes…the vision burned into him. Why…does she care so much…after everything that's happened…and why does it hurt, when I think about her? Why do I feel so…alone…?

Joey skipped her next class. It wasn't usual that she did, because it was English, and seeing that it was her favourite subject, she wouldn't have missed it. Then again, she was angry.

Damn it…Ara is so…BLIND…geez…I can't believe she doesn't know, how does she NOT know…well…then again…I thought she would've found out. I didn't want to tell her. I'm glad Trowa told me…I was so close to spilling it. Damn…

She of course…didn't notice she was walking by the principal's office, and knowing that no one…had a free period after lunch, he sent her straight…to hell. Well, you know what that means, right?

"Joey Taylor Carlton! Stop right there and tell me what for heaven's sake are you doing in the hallway. I hope you have a hall pass, young lady. "

Joey stopped and turned around to face Ms. Connor, Karla Connor to be exact. She was the school principal.

Joey didn't seem bothered…perhaps she didn't know what was happening, or maybe she was too dazed to notice. Any who, Ms. Connor didn't seem happy, not one bit.

"Miss Carlton, report to detention hall after school. Now go back to class!"

Joey, having been extremely angered, glowered and turned around. She stalked off towards her locker. She was not, 'going to class', she would go to the library, where she spent all her other English periods, having done her projects early, and divulge in the books, until school was over.

I don't understand why Quatre can't just be happy…it's not his fault…and he's hurting more than himself, he's hurting Ara…

Perhaps if she were lost in the depths of Thief of Time and other Pratchett books, she could at least numb the tears that now fell down her cheeks.

"Ara Ravencroft, could I have a word, please?"

Ara looked up from her socials paper and saw that the teacher was gesturing for her to follow him into the hall. She walked out after him, ignoring the stares from her classmates. Did your mother replace your eyeballs with straw, stop staring, friggin-

"Do you have time after school to do me a favour?"

Ara turned towards Mr. Dwight, one of her favourite teachers.

"Err…sure…what would you like?"

Mr. Dwight seemed really fidgety, and he kept looking at his fingers. Ara thought frantically Are you a damn pedophile? Ew, no, Mr. Dwight is SO not one of those types. Urgh…let's see what he wants before I decide if he needs a hit in the head.

"It's just that…uhh..." Mr. Dwight's voice was shaking with nervousness, what was the big deal anyways? "I have…a...er…previous engagement, you know...like..."

"Mr. Dwight, do you have a date?" I asked, almost laughing with relief. I so totally thought he was asking me out. EW. I mean, not that he's not handsome or anything. Actually, he's pretty good looking for someone in their mid-thirties.

"Yeah…" He sighed. "I know you're one of the most responsible students, so I was wondering if you could supervise the detention hall for me? I mean, Ms. Sanj would do it, like normally, but she got called to the hospital because her son broke his toe or something. Could you?"

You could hear the sincerity and plead dripping from his words. How can I say no?

"Alright, Mr. Dwight," Ara said with a would-be award-winning smile. "I'll supervise it, who's going to be in there?"

Mr. Dwight beamed at me. Ara could have sworn he'd give her a hug. "Its really easy, I wouldn't have asked you if it were any other people. It's just two people."

"Who are they?" Ara asked earnestly.

"Oh, Joey Carlton and Quatre Winner."

Ara practically had a heart attack in the middle of the 4th floor hallway.

Detention Hall

Quatre and Joey, unknown to each other's rule breaking, headed down to Detention Hall alone, each in anger, each in frustration, and both having the one problem that was NEVER going to go away: Ara.

Detention Hall was…okay. It was basically a room on the 5th floor of Rumaro High School that had so many windows that no one would actually know it was used for detention. Rumaro High school, other than being large, had the design of a wristwatch from a bird's eye view. Detention hall was basically located in one of the round parts.

The teacher's desk had its back facing the window, so no student could sneakily look outside for the whole class.

Ara, already sitting in the teacher's desk, sat awkwardly, staring obliviously at the rough wooden surface which was the desk. Soon enough, the door opened and Ara turned her attention to the door, where, emerged a 5"11' male with an unusually styled platinum blonde mass of hair on top of his head. It was, of course, Quatre in his black attire.

Joey also came in, arms crossed and staring defiantly at anything and everything.

Ara smiled meekly but neither looked at her and took seats closest to the window and farthest from each other. Ara's smile faltered, but she sat in her chair a while just staring at Quatre who had, undoubtedly, fallen asleep. 15 minutes passed without much event, unless you call a book dropping an 'event'. Soon twenty minutes had passed and Joey raised her hand, Ara, not expecting anything stared at her for a moment before walking towards her.

"Yeah, what you want?" Ara said coolly, unbeknownst to their friendship status.

"Uh…" Joey said quietly, thinking of her choice of words (for once, may I add.) "Could I…go to the bathroom?" It hadn't seemed suspicious, and Ara had no idea why it would cause stammering, but she ignored the fact.

"Why not?" Ara snapped and turned back towards her desk and sat down in the chair huffily. Silence entrapped Quatre and Ara for the next few minutes before Ara's thoughts started making her heart pound.

Talk to him! No, why should I? He hasn't acted any different. He's been quiet, and not arrogant, TALK TO HIM YOU…YOU… I don't know if consciences are suppose to call their own selves little btches. That may be a sign of insanity. How would I know, I'm the advising one, you're the one that's living. I'd roll my eyes, but I don't have any. That is, unless I want to look like a freak. Shut up. Talk to him, not me. But…but…he's…not that easy to talk to anymore. Suck it up and talk to him. WHAT ABOUT! Dumbass…about why he's changed.

Ara could not argue against her conscience anymore, she knew it was right. That was the only explanation she could offer as she moved the chair of the desk in front of the blonde haired boy to face him.

"Uh…Quatre…I…want to talk to you….about something." Ara said in a close whisper.

To her surprise, Quatre lifted his head and stared at her with his steely blue eyes.

"What do you want?" He hadn't said it coldly….there wasn't actually any expression in his voice.

"I want…I need to know what happened to you Quatre."

He looked away, he couldn't look into her eyes. "No" he stated ignorantly. "Never. NEVER. I can't…it's…entirely my fault."

Ara, full of concern, blinked at Quatre. "What's all your fault? You can tell me Quatre, tell me!"

Quatre swung his head towards Ara and said hoarsely, tears in his eyes, "Why should I?"

"Because," Ara demanded, forgetting all fear, "I know you the most…I know…I know this isn't you, this isn't right at all!"

Quatre stared at her, as though he never knew her, and to his surprise, there was anger in her eyes. Those beautiful grey eyes eh?

Tears started down Quatre's face, he couldn't help it, any of it.

"Ara!" He cried, trying to wipe his tears. "They died, Ara, Died. Most of them, because of me! I sent them, The Maganac Corps! They died because of me! " Quatre buried his head in his arms. "It's my fault. Everything."

Ara stared at the shaking Quatre Oh my god…so that's what happened...I can't believe he had to go through that. She tried to pry his head from his arms, but only resulted in him moving even closer to himself.

"Quatre! It's not your fault! You would never have known that they would have died! There's always a risk when there's war! Quatre! Stop it! You've got to understand, you can't destroy yourself just because they died!"

Quatre looked at Ara and half screamed, "No! It's you that doesn't understand! I sent them to destroy the Gundams! My Gundam, Heero's Gundam, Trowa's Gundam! All of them. And most of them DIED because some enemy war ship thought they were sending a friggin' explosive towards their colony. IT'S MY FAULT! "

"Quatre Raberba Winner! When has it EVER been your fault that someone has died! You always give them a choice. You try not to kill if you have a chance. This time they had no choice! No choice at all! They died serving you, and that's the way they wanted to go. They died knowing that you honoured them and that you were the greatest leader that could ever have. You don't have to change to redeem yourself Quatre. That's not even redeeming yourself, that's just hiding."

"I am not hiding! You would never understand! I sent them, if I didn't they'd be alive!"

"Shutting people out won't stop the pain. Shutting me out won't help you forget. Changing your appearance won't change who you are. Hiding…well…there has to be someone looking for you to hide."

Quatre stared at her. Just stared as though she were mental, "Who said I was hiding?"

"You are such a dolt!" Ara said, her frustration included with every word. "How about your complete new wardrobe that is made up of nothing but black?"

"Not that you look bad…"She muttered as an afterthought.

"I-I-…I don't want to talk anymore." Quatre said, and turned his head towards the windows.

"Ok, fine, don't talk, just listen. Stop changing. Because the Maganac Corps don't blame you and neither should you. Besides…I…I miss you."

Quatre turned around to face Ara. Gee…Ara…I miss you too. As if you'll ever have the guts to tell her. Shut up. I'm not having this argument again. Fine, don't argue, you're too much of a chicken anyways, always hiding, always sobbing yourself to sleep. Wimp…That's it, call me one more time…or what? You're gonna break my head? I don't know if this has occurred to you, but I AM YOU! Don't remind me. Wimp! TELL HER! FINEfINEFINE…

Ara was looking out the window by the time Quatre had finished talking to himself. He walked to her. He put a hand on her shoulder to turn her around.

"What?" Ara said, with no emotion whatsoever.

Taken aback Quatre faced her and said softly. I can't believe….that she missed me…I…missed her too…Quatre hugged her.

"Ara…" he said, no longer cold. "I'm…sorry. I couldn't tell you…because then you would've thought I was the most horrible person in the world."

Ara looked shocked for a moment before she turned the hug. Quatre looked down at Ara for a few minutes before he whispered, "I missed you." Then he did like…a complete 180 in personality. He kissed her.

Joey smirked. She was leaning against the doorway looking at their silhouette. Glad I didn't miss anything…

The End