Disclaimers: Gundam Wing doesn’t belong to me, nor will it ever.

Warnings: Not really anything that graphic… I think. Just plain old ‘Tsu-ism’ /coughSAPsough/

Notes: This is a sequel to Of Cost Savings bla bla bla and Housebroken… It is FINALLY done. I broken up this story in two chapters because Tsu was having brain diarrhea again and wrote too much.

Payback’s a Bitch

Part 2

Sally was on her way toward Wu Fei’s office with his new assignment in hand. She giggled at the image of the Chinese man exploding into anger at taking orders from a woman. Well, not a woman, just her. Ever since that first meeting so many years ago, Wu Fei had very much taken to calling her ‘woman’ despite knowing her name twice over. Okay, so a million times over. He had never used that insulting term to any other female acquaintances except for her. It was as if he liked inflaming her. But years of interaction had numbed the feeling of affront she felt and was reduced to nothing more than irritation.

Instead of keeping it and taking it to heart, she does her best and most times successfully to ruffle his dander. It was rather easy actually. She wasn’t going to deny that she purposely incited Wu Fei for no particular reason. She enjoyed making him react to her. It was better than the almost cold impassivity that he had with most women. At least, she felt special in that sense. At least, he didn’t treat her with the cold formality reserved for the rest of her gender.

A small smile touched her lips as she thought of Wu Fei. He always had a perpetual stick up his behind and most of the time had to be brutally teased into growling at her, throwing a temper and at one time, threatening to overturn a bowl of soup over her head. She wondered why she went to such lengths to incite him. But deep down, she knew why. Years of close working relationship brought on a small little desire within her. Wu Fei was an attractive man, made more so now with age and experience. Sure, she was much older than he was, but age was to bar to the heart. She also know, much to her regret, that Wu Fei would always have the memory of his dead wife with him for the rest of his life.

There wouldn’t be a place for anyone new in his heart. Apparently, dying was the best way to ensure the ones your love would never forget you. So Sally was content with just poking Wu Fei’s inflated pride and ego ever so often. And nothing would prick it more than the fact that he had to take orders from one woman, not just a woman, but one woman in particular, her.

She walked by Wu Fei’s office that he shared with Duo and Heero and tapped on the door before walking in.

Wu Fei caught sight of her and a low growl started in the back of his throat.

“Hi Sally,” Duo greeted, looking disgustingly chirpy while sporting dark rims over his eyes. It went without saying that he had gotten not much sleep the night before but was annoyingly happy for it.

Sally smirked. “Hello to you too.” Her grin widened to the point where it said, ‘Looks like someone got some last night’.

Duo flashed her an answering grin which replied ‘Yup, I got more than plenty’ and ducked his head, concentrating on the pile of paperwork that had slowly build over the few weeks where Heero was staying with Quatre.

“What do you want?” Wu Fei asked warily.

“Is that how you greet your superior?” Sally crossed her arms in front of her with a frown, the file tucked securely under her arm. She stood there, tapping her feet while narrowing her eyes at the Chinese agent.

True to his training, Wu Fei shot up from his seat and saluted smartly, greeting his superior. There was an expression of slight humiliation but quickly disappeared under impassiveness. His expression tightened minutely hearing Duo snickering softly from the side.

Sally pinned her gaze on the sniggering American. “And I believe I outrank you as well,” she snapped.

Duo bolted to his feet and saluted. “Yes, ma’am,” he said, automatically. There was a slight twitching of his cheek.

“At ease,” Sally ordered, trying desperately to keep from laughing.

Both agents relaxed, their hands tucked behind their backs.

“Agent Chang, I have an assignment for you,” Sally passed the folder over to Wu Fei.

Wu Fei took it, staring down at it. He recognised this. “Isn’t Heero supposed to be working on this?” He saw this sitting on Heero’s table at his temporary room, though then they all thought it would be permanent, at Quatre’s mansion.

Sally frowned, remembering what Quatre said. “No, but anyway, I want you to follow up on this. And that is an order.”

Wu Fei snapped to attention again. “Yes, ma’am.”

Sally stood there for a moment longer before her expression softened. “Back to work.” She turned and left, leaving the two behind to heave a breath of fresh air.

Duo looked over at Wu Fei glaring down at the folder in his hands. A small smile curved his lips. “Whoa, someone sure likes you, Fei.”

Wu Fei turned and levelled the ferocious glare at Duo. “That woman does not like me.” He waved the folder around and then to his already loaded desk. “That woman just like making me do her dirty work for her. She just wants me to take orders from her.”

Duo sat down again, leaning back slightly in his chair. “Well, she is our superior.”

“Who is?” A new voice entered the conversation.

Duo’s face lit up like a Christmas tree upon seeing Heero walk in. He was immediately subjected to a kiss and a cuddle. Though not normally so touchy feely in public, Heero decided that he needed to make up to Duo and was willing to provide such ‘treatments’ for a while until all was forgiven. He was still baffled as to why Duo had invited him back into their home. Still, he wasn’t going to kick a gift horse in the mouth.

“Sally,” Duo explained after being thoroughly kissed.

Heero nodded.

Wu Fei, at some point of the extended kiss, had started paging through the folder in his hands. “What the…” He exclaimed, paling suddenly. He stumbled back, falling heavily into his chair, his limbs shaking.

The couple exchanged a look of concern before starting after Wu Fei.

“Hey, man,” Duo crouched in front of the Chinese. “What’s wrong?”

Heero stood behind Duo, concerned as well.

Wu Fei lifted shocked eyes to meet Duo’s. “You… you…” He stammered.

Heero and Duo exchanged a stunned look. Wu Fei was stammering? “What is it?” Heero asked, placing a comforting hand on Wu Fei’s shoulder.

“Sally just… just sent me a love letter,” Wu Fei answered, dazed.

“A what?” Heero and Duo exclaimed in unison.

Wu Fei lifted the piece of paper gingering and passed it to his friends. “Duo, you were right, you were absolutely right,” he muttered, as if in a trance. “How could I have been so blind not to see it? How could…”

Duo plucked the paper from his friend’s hand and started reading it, growing increasingly closer to laugher and horror with each word.

“Hey, where did you…” Heero started but a strong hand was clamped over his mouth.

“If you want to get any for the rest of your life, you will shut up,” Duo hissed, narrowing his eyes threateningly. Swallowing much of his laughter, Duo turned back to his friend. “Yes, you see, I was right. Very… interesting love letter. She even likes how you fart,” he said, shooting an embarrassed Heero a placid glare.

“Well, if you love a person, bodily functions can also be attractive,” Heero said, a tad defensively.

“But at the same time complaining about dietary preferences?” Duo raised an eyebrow.

“What are you two talking about?” Wu Fei complained, staring at his friends. “We are talking about the fact that I never knew Sally cared so much for me until she wrote me a love letter!” His voice lowered to a growl. “And she said that I was not a girl? When did I ever do anything that made her think I was female? Damn woman!”

“So…” Heero cleared his throat, still flushing deeply. He couldn’t believe his little brain dump had made it to his friend’s hand. And Sally! Sally read it too? And gave it to Wu Fei? Couldn’t Sally write her own damn love letter?

“Yeah,” Duo cut in. “What are you going to do? Are you going to act on it?”

“Ac… act on it?” Wu Fei squealed.

Duo winced at the assault on his ears. He made a mental note to remind Wu Fei to register his high-pitched squealing as a deadly weapon. “Oh, come on, she already made the first move. You aren’t going to keep the lady waiting, are you?”

Wu Fei blinked dazedly at his friend. “What do you suggest I do?”

Duo grinned. “Invite her to the dinner!”

XXxxXX

Heero was back to his methodical Perfect Soldier self during lunch. He sat hunched over his seat, spooning food into his mouth and shutting out the world. Even his boyfriend sitting opposite him. There was a flush on his cheeks that had nothing to do with the heat of the day of the fact that he was eating fast enough to choke.

“It was a very sweet letter,” Duo smiled mischievously at Heero. “Some parts were… well, a little descriptive but it was from the heart.”

Heero continued to eat voraciously.

“Heero, really, I love it. I even printed an extra copy and saved it in my wallet. I had photocopied another one and am having it framed. I am going to hang it in our bedroom.”

Heero coughed and choked, staring at Duo disbelievingly, who was grinning unrepentantly at him. “Are you serious?” He choked out.

Duo nodded. “As a heart attack.”

The two of them were startled when the chair next to Duo was noisily dragged back and a body fell heavily into it.

“Quatre?” Duo poked his friend cautiously after the blond immediately slumped over the table with a groan.

“Duo!” Quatre sprang up, clutching Duo by the arms. “You have to help me find it! You have to!”

Duo frowned in confusion. “Find… what?”

A soft redness starting spreading across Quatre’s cheeks. “Uh… well, you see… erm…” He trailed of mumbling something low under his breath.

“What?” Heero asked, trying to catch whatever Quatre was trying to say.

Quatre looked at his two friends, took a deep breath and started explaining. “’tknowwhattodowithitbecauseI…”

“Whoa, whoa,” Duo laughed. “Take a breath. What? And this time… slowly.”

Quatre managed to slow down his chatter and by the time he finished his explanation, Heero once again had his nose in his food, shovelling it furiously into his mouth, his cheeks matching Quatre’s heat. Duo, on the other hand, had his head buried in his hands, trying to stifle his laughter.

“What?” Quatre looked at the two of them, baffled.

Heero grunted and buried his face further into his bowl.

Duo cleared this throat several times. “So… what do you intend to do about it?”

Quatre shrugged helplessly.

Duo leaned over. “You should ask him out,” he whispered conspiratorially.

Heero looked up, staring at his boyfriend in pure utter horror. What the hell was Duo trying to do?

“What? Me?” Quatre exclaimed.

“Oh come on,” Duo taunted. “You’re not going to say something silly like, ‘I shouldn’t be the one asking him out’, are you? What are you? The ‘female’ in the relationship?”

Quatre turned an odd shade of purple before pushing himself away from the table and marched out of the cafeteria with an odd sniff at Duo.

“Why did you do that?” Heero hissed.

Duo shrugged innocently. “They can play matchmaker but I can’t?”

“What if Trowa or Sally don’t like them?” Heero asked.

Duo got up, straightening his uniform. “Who said they didn’t?” He walked away with a mysterious smile.

XXxxXX

Wu Fei had been marching, well, stalking back and forth outside Sally’s office for the past ten minutes. He was desperately trying to think of a way to ask Sally out without embarrassing her. After all, she had already made the first step with the love letter. It was the honourable thing to do to be the one to make the second step. But how?

Sure, he was married before. But he had never actually asked Mei Lan out. The only time he did was to ask her to step out of his way, before she clobbered him to the ground for being rude to the more delicate species of humanity. Delicate his ass, Wu Fei thought. That woman could out spar him any time of the day, simply because she fought dirty. More dirty that a woman should.

Sally reminded him of Mei Lan somehow. There was nothing physical about it but he thought it was more in the attitude. Sally sure knew how to fight dirty as well. He had thought about it for a long time, asking Sally out. First, it has been his dead wife’s memory, then it had been because he didn’t know how to approach his commanding officer. Damn, he wished he paid attention to Enforcers’ Monthly articles closer. There had to be a ‘How to gently request for more than familial relations with your commanding officer without being squashed like the insubordinate bug you really are’ article written somewhere within. Perhaps he should ask Trowa.

But it was a little too late now as he stood outside, squaring his shoulders and taking a deep breath. It was now or never, he thought, extending his hand and preparing to knock on the door.

“What are you doing, Wu Fei?” Sally asked from somewhere behind him, scaring the living daylights out of him.

He didn’t want to admit he yelped, because, hey, men didn’t yelp, they merely let out a startled exclamation. Yes, that was it, startled exclamations. He turned and saluted Sally smartly.

“It’s after working hours,” Sally rolled her eyes. “And I am out of uniform. When will you shit that stick out of your ass, Wu Fei?”

Wu Fei stood there for a solid two minutes doing a very impressive impression of a landed fish. Did his superior just asked him to… He shook his head and quickly followed Sally into her office, closing and securing the lock behind him. He turned to find Sally staring at him apprehensively.

She was standing close to her desk, eyeing him carefully. “Why did you just lock my door?”

Wu Fei opened his mouth, but snapped it shut at the last moment. He couldn’t very well say that he read the love letter and now was going to ask for her hand in marriage… what a minute, where the hell did that come from? But Sally was acting completely nonchalant, like she never gave Wu Fei that love letter, which could also mean she was being cautious. Wu Fei could understand that, after all, a woman’s pride was just as fragile as a man’s.

“I have something to discuss with you,” Wu Fei wiped his sweaty hands irritably on his pants. What was wrong with him? He didn’t even bat an eye when he went into a terrorists’ headquarters armed with nothing but a garter belt. This was definitely safer than that. Of course, what he was doing with only a garter belt was another story and a part of his life he never wanted to repeat or think about.

Sally frowned, taking a seat and waiting for the Chinese man to continue. “Okay,” she prompted after an extended silence.

“Huh?” Wu Fei looked up at Sally. “Oh yeah.” His gaze shot down to his feet. “Right… so… Okay, I understand that it is hard for you. And probably it is making it harder for you with my awkwardness.”

“Huh?” Sally began but was cut off by Wu Fei, who was obviously not hearing a thing other than the wild thumping of his own heart.

“I am not sure why you would think I’m a girl but all I can say is perhaps I was a little more childish when I was younger and I would… Do you have a date for the dinner next week?” Wu Fei blurted, still not looking at anything other than his own polished shoes.

“Huh… what?” Sally exclaimed, her eyes opened impossibly wide. Did she just hear right? Did Wu Fei just ask her out on a date?

There was a brief moment of silence while Sally strove to pick up her jaw from underneath the table where it had fallen while Wu Fei was still contemplating the shine on his shoes. When the silence ensued, Wu Fei dared a peek at his rather pole axed boss. “Uh… wom… Sally?”

That seemed to snap the Chinese woman out of her stupor. “Uh… yeah. Sorry, yeah.”

Wu Fei brightened immediately. That was pretty simple. So why did Heero have such a hard time with Duo? All he had to do was ask, right? He smiled. “Good, I will pick you up at your place at 7. See you then,” he turned and left the room, his heart strangely light.

Sally realised what just happened about five minutes after staring fixatedly at the closed door.

Holy crap, she just got a date and with Chang freaking Wu Fei!

XXxxXX

Practice. Practice made perfect. They had all seen Heero’s pathetic attempts at professing his love for Duo and Quatre was determined not to follow the Perfectly-Inept-When-It-Came-To-Emotions Soldier’s bad example.

He couldn’t exactly march up to Trowa and asked him if he would snog him senseless… er, be his date for the Annual Dinner but he could work at it until he didn’t stumble over his words quite that much.

“So,” Quatre smiled at his reflection in the mirror, wishing it didn’t appear so much like a pained grimace. “’…”

He winced as he was forced to gulp down air at the end of what could be loosely called a tirade.

“Sure, pick you up at six thirty.”

Quatre whirled around in shock and saw Trowa turning away from his opened room door.

XXxxXX

Duo pulled cell phone away from his ear while listening to the high-pitched screech of excitement from Quatre. He noted Heero doing the same as well.

Must be Wu Fei, he thought.

“Right, Quatre. You need to breathe before you pass out,” he advised, wishing Quatre would get off the phone so he could get some nookie from Heero.

“But what am I going to weaaaaaar?”

Duo winced. “Anything that is not that lavender shirt you favour so much during the war?”

There was a stunned silence before Quatre spoke again. “Thank you for nothing, Duo Maxwell.” He hung up with a huff.

Duo sat back and sighed in relief. Two hours, Quatre had been going on like a hyper rabbit for two hours about how he and Trowa were going together and how Trowa got his ‘talk a mile a minute when he was nervous and no one else could, that must mean they were made for each other right? Right? Right?’

He looked across the room and saw Heero hanging up as well.

“Wu Fei?” He guessed and was rewarded with a long-suffering eye roll from his lover.

“How is getting them together revenge again? Other then pain for our ears?” Heero asked, coming over to snuggle up to Duo.

Duo laughed. “Getting them together isn’t revenge, it is just plan relief to see them stop mooning about, pining unconsciously for each other.”

“Trowa?” Heero asked. He wasn’t too convinced their silent friend did indeed have feelings for someone as completely opposite of him like Quatre, well, vocally anyway.

Duo grinned. “Oh yeah, Trowa too. I have seen him doodling around behind that stupid magazine of his staring at Quatre’s eyes, lips, ass…”

Heero felt a growl starting. Duo would stare at no one but… The rest of that thought was smothered when Duo tried to swallow his tongue.

“Tell me again how is it revenge?” Heero asked when he achieved minimal coherency once again.

“Match making isn’t the revenge. Seeing them humiliate themselves by turning into a babbling idiot and screwing with their minds? Now that is entertaining,” Duo cackled evilly, an unholy gleam in his eyes.

Heero swallowed, committing to memory that look and making a mental note to himself to never give Duo any cause to plot revenge against him.

XXxxXX

“Having a good time?” Duo asked, coming up to Heero from behind. They were half an hour into the party and he was enjoying himself thoroughly. His friends helped of course. He was fabulously entertained when Wu Fei tried to ask Sally for a dance and insisting that he was a man and thus, will lead. Sally had informed him that she would be authorising a psychological evaluation come Monday.

Quatre and Trowa were also amusing in itself. They walked in together, but looked like they were ten feet apart. It was obvious that they were trying to attract each other’s attention but trying to be completely nonchalant about it. Their evening started with people asking if they had an argument.

Heero grunted, watching Quatre and Trowa standing together but staring in the opposite direction. “Can’t they just say something and get it over with?”

Duo snorted. “That coming from someone who gave me a financial analysis of me moving in with you and declining to tell me I accepted more from you than financial aid?”

Heero flushed but kept silent.

“But this is no longer fun,” Duo frowned, staring at the two couples. “In fact, it had gotten down right tedious.” He sighed. “Let’s give them a little push?”

Heero nearly bolted from the mischievous gleam in Duo’s eyes.

XXxxXX

“You asked me to come?” Sally walked out into one of the balconies.

Wu Fei turned around in shock. He had escaped there a while back, practicing his confession speech. For the whole evening, nothing but utter nonsense had come out from his mouth. Nothing was turning out right without him looking less than an utter fool. Sure Duo was enjoying himself, laughing at his misery. “What?” He exclaimed rather intelligently.

“Duo told me you wanted to see me?” Sally asked standing next to Wu Fei at the balcony. She stared out into the night. She was as confused as hell. She felt like she had just stumbled into a movie half way and missed half the plot. From the day Wu Fei asked her to be his date to his rather amusing conduct tonight, she had little to no clue what she got herself into.

She wasn’t sure if it was Wu Fei’s own idea or some stupid prank Duo Maxwell was playing on her, or the both of them. There was just a little too much intervention from the longhaired man for her to mistake the connection.

“Du… Duo?” Wu Fei blurt, once again, rather intelligently and blinking owlishly at his date. He knew he hadn’t be treating her very well that evening but the love letter kept running through his mind, making things rather awkward. He couldn’t understand how she could be so blasé about it. He certainly wasn’t.

“Yes, remember him? Longhaired? Usually wears said long hair in a braid? Violet eyes? Has Heero Yuy as his boyfriend?”

“I know who Duo is,” Wu Fei growled. Why did Duo ask Sally to come see him?

Sally sighed. “Wu Fei, I have never asked anything of you. I never even showed you how much I like you. I understand you have your past and I respect the fact that you may never let go of your past. But why have you give me hope by asking me out and subsequently ignoring me? Isn’t that…” She was cut off short when she was grabbed and rather forcefully turned to face a rather guilt ridden Wu Fei.

“I’m sorry. It’s just that, I do like you too. Very much, in fact. I just never expected to be told in such a flamboyant manner.”

Sally stared up at Wu Fei in shock. When had he grown taller than her? Oh yeah, and besides that. “Really? You like me too? I mean… I never thought… Uhm…”

Wu Fei’s usually stern expression melted into a soft, fond smile. “Your letter expressed precisely what you felt for me. I just regret I didn’t get it any earlier.”

Over the course of the last sentence, Sally’s elegant brows knitted tightly together into a rather confused frown. “What letter?”

Wu Fei stared at his… girlfriend? Crush? Soon to be someone very important in his life? Well, Wu Fei stared at Sally with a slow dawning dread. The look in the doctor’s face, that utter confusion was not faked. She knew nothing about the letter. In that spilt second, it all clicked in Wu Fei’s mind. The constant implications, the suggestions.

A very loud “Duo!” echoed into the relatively silent night sky joined by another one from a neighbouring balcony.

XXxxXX

Quatre had bolted into one of the many balconies leading out of the hall where the party was still going at full swing. Tonight was an utter disaster. They had gone from good friends to total strangers with only one letter. He wished fervently that he hadn’t even seen that dratted note.

He didn’t know what to say to Trowa, he didn’t know how to react. He was afraid of saying the wrong thing and destroying something that hasn’t even started yet. And that had caused them both not saying anything the entire night to each other. He really didn’t want this. He didn’t want them not to be friends anymore over something like the possibility of being lovers. It just wasn’t worth it.

But how was he to say anything to Trowa? After him writing such a… complimentary letter about his… abdominal functions?

“Quatre? What are you doing out here?” Trowa asked, scaring the living daylights out of the blond man.

“Wha… what are you doing here?” He squeaked. He made a mental note that this tone was highly feminine and needed to be avoided at all costs.

Trowa quirked an eyebrow at him. “You invited me to come to this party and…”

Quatre cut off Trowa with a vigorous shake of his head. “No! I meant out here,” he gestured to the empty balcony.

“Fresh air?” Trowa shrugged. “Duo told me where you were.”

“Right,” Quatre nodded, turning away, his mind in too much of a turmoil to actually hear to what Trowa had said. He exhaled loudly, wishing Trowa would just go away and stop wrecking havoc on his peace mind. Perhaps it was time to launch his carefully thought out speech?

“Quatre…” Trowa began.

At the same time, “Trowa,” Quatre started.

They stared at each other, blinking in surprise.

“You first,” Quatre gulped.

Trowa shook his head. “No, it was clear you had been having something on your mind the entire night. Tell me.”

How could Quatre deny such a soft and endearing request? “It’s just that… that… well, I like you, and I know you like me but I really don’t want it to be so awkward!” He blurted. “We started off as friends and because we may be more than friends we don’t get to be friends would be absolutely horrible to me! We can’t… we can’t even speak to each other anymore. The love letter you wrote was really sweet… in some parts, but I wish now you didn’t do it.”

“Wait,” Trowa held up in hands, a picture of utter confusion. “What love letter? I didn’t write any love letter.”

Quatre stared at Trowa, his brain slowly processing what the other man had said, his eyes blinking rapidly.

“So…” He started, his voice full of hurt. “You don’t like me? That way?”

Trowa shook his head and hurried to assure the blond Arabian. “No, I do like you that way. I was surprised and pleased that you asked me out, but I didn’t write any love letter.”

Quatre’s brows furrowed. “Wait, if you didn’t write it… who…”

Comprehension dawned. Who was the one who suggested that Trowa liked him? Who was the one that kept at it until he got uncomfortable wet dreams involving whipped cream and a canary? Okay, the canary thing was weird but who was the one who made him salivate after his own friend like a thirsty and greedy dog?

“DUO!”

XXxxXX

Duo’s head whipped around at the sound of two angry voices coming from two different balconies. He turned to his lover, grabbed him and kissed him hard on the lips.

“If they find my body lying in a ditch somewhere, avenge me.” With that, he took off like the devil was on his tail with two very irate friends yelling all manner of obscenities at him.

Heero wisely kept out of the way and ambled his way toward Trowa and Sally who had just entered the hall again. They appeared to be deep in conversation.

“… Preventors’ Monthly really works,” Trowa commented. “’How To Manipulate Your Team Mates To Do Something That Gives You Some Leeway Into Your Other Tea Mate’s/Superior’s Mind To Get Some Nookie For Yourself Because You Have Been Pretty Much Hot For Him/Her Forever’ was a pretty good article.”

“Thank you,” Sally said modestly, but had a wide grin on her face.

“You wrote that?” Trowa asked, his jaw gaping.

Sally shrugged, her cheeks dimpling. “Well, you giving me heads up on the love letter did help as well.”

“Hold up,” Heero cut in, stunned. “You… you knew about it?”

Trowa shook his head at Heero. “Heero, you were supposed to write a love letter, not assassinate Duo’s character. Some parts of the letter was highly unflattering”

A low growl of menace filled the room and in an instant, the rest of the Preventors’ organisation saw one of their agents, one with an odd hairstyle being chased after by one of their very best.

Commander Une shook her head, wondering if she had actually hired agents or preschool children.

While Duo’s revenge wasn’t exactly ideal or complete, at least everyone got what they wanted.

… And Preventors’ Monthly ran for another ten years with utmost success.

The end… Finally!