A Different Mary Sue

By: Yva J.

She wasn't the kind of girl that you would want to spend endless days getting to know, especially if you were a boy with romantic intentions. Her name was Mary Sue, but that was just the luck of the draw, and meant nothing whatsoever when you got down to brass tacks.

Mary Sue Hudson was not your typical girl, not by any stretch of the imagination. In fact she kept her hair cropped short, wore a baseball cap and chewed gum as though she was on a mission of some sort. She had been playing baseball with the local boys since she could throw one, and could whip up on any boy who even looked at her the wrong way. The fourteen-year-old girl never once thought about going and falling in love with anyone, in fact, she often remarked how she'd rather kiss a beaver than a boy.

Now that she was in school and constantly hearing endless stories about Narnia and how cute the High King Peter was or how much her peers swooned over Edmund, his younger brother. Somewhere, she could feel her gagging reflexes take hold and she would annoy her friends in the halls at school by taking out a mashed up copy of a teen magazine and drawing little mustaches and eyeglasses across the faces of the two boys. She was simply not impressed.

The worst thing for her was hearing people talk about Mary Sues as being these girls with ribbons and curls, falling head over heels in love with some knight on a dashing steed. Forget letting those boys even try to save her, she could take care of herself. Just let them try to play Mr. Right with me, she thought, the very idea, she scowled every time her name was used in such a way.

Huffily, she walked down the road, her eyes staring at the pavement and her tennis shoes scraping disdainfully across the ground. If I could only get my chance, she thought bitterly, then I'd go to Narnia and have a real adventure, not one of those, bleech, romances. I would tell those boys that they're not all that, she thought to herself, that they should get over themselves and enjoy Narnia for what it was, a place of high adventure. She'd show them all that this Mary Sue was not one for all that crap, that she would beat the whoopee out of any boy who tried something with her. Leave the romance to the grown-ups was her philosophy, and that was the way it would stay. I'm still a kid, give me a baseball mitt instead of a wedding band.

She continued to make her way down the street, her eyes scanning the street. Around her, younger girls skipped rope, their voices filling the air.

Peter and Louise sitting in a tree...K-i-s-s-i-n-g…

Their voices drifted off and Mary Sue swallowed. "Peter doesn't even exist, he's fantasy."

"Fantasy, huh?" A voice emerged and she looked up to see a larger than life lion standing in front of her.

"Oh boy," Mary Sue muttered. "What is happening?"

"You're about to get your wish," the lion said. "You will go on the adventure you have wanted. No romance, but you will learn that friendship is a bond much stronger."

"You're Aslan, right?" She asked, but before the lion could respond, she swallowed. "But you're not real."

"I am real, and believe me, Mr. Beaver would not be all that intent on kissing you either, especially with all that pink stuff you have in your mouth," the lion said with what appeared to be a smile if one would call it that.

"I am not kissing anybody and you can't make me!" Mary Sue shouted. "So you can put that in your little pipe and smoke it."

"Child, do you honestly think that I would bring you to Narnia with the intentions of having you kiss anyone?" Aslan asked and with a wave of his paw, she could see that the city streets was no longer visible, in fact, they were now standing beside the lamppost.

Mary Sue looked at it and gasped, along the structure of the metallic object was pink colored graffiti with the words 'King Peter is Hot', and 'King Edmund Rocks'. "You weren't kidding, this nonsense has infiltrated Narnia?"

Aslan nodded solemnly, "The truth Mary Sue is that my land of Narnia needs your help, not the Kings and Queens per se, but the talking beasts implore you to take up the armor and fight against this invasion."

"Invasion, now that sounds like an adventure," she smiled.

"It's a different sort of invasion, I'm afraid. We have been invaded by love-sick girls from your world, and we need someone with a level head and mind to come in and help maintain some sort of order. Since kids are the only ones who can get into Narnia, I have come to your world looking for a girl who can enter this country with a sense of duty, and a willingness to not become another Narnian statistic."

"I could get infected by this? Is that what you're saying?" Mary Sue asked. "I could run the risk of becoming like them?"

"Yes, lovesickness cannot even be cured even with Queen Lucy's cordial," the noble lion said. "You could get infected if you allow your lackadaisical emotions to run away with you."

"But I thought love was important to you," Mary Sue said, still uncertain she could do what Aslan was asking.

"Love yes, love is the emotion that Narnia was created in, but lovesickness makes girls do things that they wouldn't normally do," Aslan said and motioned towards the graffiti covered lamppost. "Such as this, now will you accept the task and help me fight for a pink graffiti free Narnia?"

Mary Sue shifted her baseball cap and looked at the lion. "Will I get a sword?" She asked, her eyes brightening somewhat.

"You won't be needing a sword," the lion said.

"Oh I won't huh? Well what sort of adventure is this if I don't have something to protect me?" She asked as she stubbornly put her hands on her hips.

"You'll need your logic, not your physical strength," Aslan said simply. "Will you accept the task, Mary Sue?"

"OK, if you think I can do it, then who am I to argue with you about it?" She asked, but nodded her head. "You can count on me, Aslan."