Disclaimer: I don’t even own one single volume of the manga, let alone IT.

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The Remedy

-by Alena S. Anigor

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VI. Think

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He was staring at the ceiling when his alarm clock went off the next morning; blue orbs gazing dully at the game of shadows on the blank, white surface above him. He was ignoring the persistent buzzing of the alarm for a while until the ringing became too much for his sleep deprived mind and one hand reached absentmindedly for it, dainty fingers pushing the button on the dark device. He sighed heavily and craned his neck to look outside the window, his expression a mixture of weariness and distress.

It was past seven am and there he was, lying awake for what seemed hours to him, his eyelids heavy and burning but his mind fully awake and alert, dark half-moons around his eyes the telltale signs of his restless night.

After the conversation he had with Daisuke, he had returned to a lifeless little place he called his apartment, and from then on, felt and acted like someone had put him on autopilot.

His mind hadn’t even registered his body slipping out of his clothes and leading him to the bathroom; he was standing like a numb doll under the shower, letting the droplets of water assault his hair and skin and prickle at his eyes that were cast down, staring lifelessly at his feet as the water flowed down the drain, spinning in circles like his own troubled mind.

He had actually wanted to laugh out loud at the sheer irony of it all, but he didn’t. He stood there, trying to remember how to laugh and pondering whether he had actually ever laughed before.

Half an hour later, he had found himself in his bed, his hair wet and tousled, his arms set firmly next to his body, his back resting on the crisp sheets that smelled of something flowery. For a very long time, he remained like that, just lying still and staring at the ceiling, wondering why on earth he was doing that to himself.

Was it even him? Wasn’t it Krad’s doing? ...No, Krad was gone, right? But then, why did it feel like he was still there, hiding and skipping happily somewhere in the back of his mind, forever taunting, haunting, whispering obscene scenarios in his ear? His fingers jerked involuntarily when he could still feel cold clutches of the demented, sadistic blond, tightening their hold on him like claws, digging into his flesh, into his mind, into his soul, ever present.

Daisuke’s words flew into his mind then, making him open his eyes (when had he closed them, anyway?) and slowly turn on his side, outstretching his arms over the pillow and staring at the silent silhouette of his dresser next to his bed.

“I think Krad is not the one holding you back...I think...I think you still haven’t let go of him...”

And just how absurd was that?

He would’ve done and still would do anything, anything to get rid of him...to really get rid of him. Dark was gone and therefore, Krad just had to be gone, as well but something, something still remained of the psychotic beast that dwelled within him as long as he could remember. His mind just couldn’t explain why or how...When all the rationalities abandoned him, his mind started to play with less rational solutions: what if Krad had released some kind of spell on him, some kind of sinister magic, something that would ensure his existence even if he were to physically disappear from this world?

What if...what if...what if...

The words kept on repeating themselves in an endless circle of unanswered questions and possibilities, the gears of his mind spinning madly to try to reason it out.

“You have to stop thinking like that, Hiwatari-kun,”...Daisuke’s words of wisdom whispered again somewhere in that rational part of his mind that wouldn’t abandon him just yet. “...if you’re going to be afraid of him coming back, he’ll never truly leave you...You...You have to let go of him...of that fear of yours.”

Ahh, yes. To let go of the fear, wasn’t it? He inhaled slowly, letting out a shaky breath, his lips curving into a cynical smile.

Everything has always seemed so easy to Daisuke, hasn’t it? There was no ‘easier said than done’ in his case. No matter how hard and difficult the obstacles seemed, Daisuke would always somehow find a way to overcome them. Almost magically, he thought and let out a bitter chuckle.

He really envied Niwa sometimes; he envied his optimism and clumsy, carefree nature that always got him out of sticky situations he was so prone to finding himself in.

But, when it came to him, things always got hard, regardless of all his genius and cleverness. Sure, he was smart enough to reason with almost every problem that came his way, but...Daisuke had that emotional, mental freedom he so lacked. Daisuke was the one who could walk freely down the road of his life with a smile on his face and the attitude that everything would turn out fine in the end.

He couldn’t afford to think that way. He couldn’t afford to feel that way. He couldn’t afford to feel, period.

Everything was always so easy for everyone else, but him. Easy didn’t exist in his vocabulary. He only had numerous synonyms for the word complicated.

When those two entities had disappeared, leaving them both free of their burdens of the past generations, he had thought he could finally find that freedom; that he could finally breathe easily and do things he had always wanted. But, he had never thought he himself would deprive his life of all those things he could’ve had and all those things he still could have. His life was supposed to be short and fragile, extinguishable like the soft flicker of a candle burning in the wind...He had managed to overcome that. So, why was he doing the exact opposite now?

He supposed he truly was afraid to move on. He didn’t quite know how to move on. Living his whole life as a tool of a homicidal former artist, being afraid to form any kind of bonds with anyone just to keep them safe and sound, being just a shell of a boy he was supposed to be...was it any wonder he didn’t know how to act now?

He felt like a caged animal set free – it didn’t know what to do with that freedom or where to go. Because all it had known for its entire life, all he had known for his entire life was that cage and now, that he was free, he felt nothing but confused and lost. Afraid.

He was afraid of that freedom and he was afraid to get used to it. He still lingered close to that cage because it offered him security he was used to but so desperately wanted to get out from.

To let go of his fear...to let go of Krad...Why did it sound so easy and so compelling? What did he need? There was something missing...a very vital thing that would push him in the right direction, but what?

It was only then that he realized he was staring at the ceiling again when his alarm clock went off for the second time and that he had wasted all night thinking about something he really shouldn’t have been thinking of.

Sighing heavily, he lifted his heavy body into a sitting position, feeling a headache pounding violently against his skull.

“Suits me right,” he murmured. No wonder his head was hurting; he had just spent more than seven hours, contemplating his sorry excuse for a life instead of resting. He almost chuckled.

And what else was new?

Well, at least he wasn’t experiencing those hellish nightmares, so the sleepless night was at least good for something.

Realizing he was becoming way more bitter than usual, he got up slowly, thankful for the alarm clock and the waking dawn outside. Maybe now, he would stop plaguing himself with all kinds of weird thoughts about Krad and possible evil installments he might’ve placed inside his mind. He decided to drag himself to the bathroom to wash his face. When he lifted his head, his eyes deadpanned, looking at the other Satoshi in the mirror.

Oh, he looked absolutely charming with his hair sticking out in all directions and his eyes all baggy and his face pale and ashen.

Letting out another halfhearted sigh, he left the bathroom in search of his school uniform.

Maybe, if he talked to Daisuke some more, then he would...

He halted in the middle of pulling his shirt over his head, letting it sink in slowly.

He could talk to Daisuke now. He had...he had someone to talk to now. He could talk to someone now. He had...he had a friend, right?

“A friend...” He murmured, letting the word roll off his tongue slowly, as if testing it. He half expected Krad to snicker smugly at him for that, but nothing and no one dared to say otherwise.

Skipping breakfast, he hurried to get out of the cold confines of his apartment, his feet carrying him hurriedly down the corridor.

He almost smiled when he realized he actually truly looked forward to something for once.

Riku let out an exasperated sigh when she glanced at her sister from across the classroom. The murky cloud of depression and gloominess had, as it seemed, taken a liking to her sister’s current state since it hadn’t budged from above her for two whole days.

Riku suppressed the urge to trot up to her and shake her to make her get back to the land of the living. She had started to resemble those half-dead maidens from a horror movie they watched some time ago. Not to mention that she had almost given her a heart attack when she had caught her walking around the house in the ungodly hours of the night like a ghost, wandering around in her light nightgown.

She tried talking to her that morning over breakfast but the younger replica of hers remained more or less unresponsive, giving only occasional nods or shrugs to her concerned questions.

Riku sighed again at her spot by the open window, wishing she could do something about it. Seeing her usually cheerful and talkative sister slowly dying away from the inside made her stomach turn and her chest clench unpleasantly. They were twins; they were connected in a way. She could pretty much feel what she was feeling and the feeling made her want to huddle in some dark corner and stay there forever, all alone with her jumbled thoughts and twisting knots in her stomach, feeling like her heart was going numb...

She snapped out of those horrible thoughts when she heard a car honk somewhere outside the building and slowly turned around to see someone walking down the schoolyard. Her eyes widened when she recognized tresses of sky blue, accompanied by a lithe figure of Satoshi Hiwatari. Casting a more scrutinizing look his way, she noticed there was something different about his gait today; he was walking hurriedly towards the school building, more animatedly than she had ever seen him walk. Usually, his stoic nature was conveyed by his steps – always slow, concentrated and purposeful. Today, it seemed as if his feet were trying to carry him to something he eagerly wanted to know about.

Riku’s eyes automatically flew to Risa’s hunched form, knowing that she was still concerned about the bespectacled boy and the way he shrugged her off the other day. Well, she supposed she would feel gloomy if Daisuke was giving her the same treatment, but still...Maybe Hiwatari’s presence would make her snap out of her troubled state.

She really had no idea what was wrong with her – the solemn moment they shared a couple of days ago was still troubling her immensely. She had never seen her sister look so broken and disheartened, not even when Dark disappeared. She desperately wished she could help her somehow, but if Risa herself didn’t know what was going on with her, what could she do?

She just hoped her sister would turn back to her previous, cheerful self. Otherwise, she didn’t know what she would do.

Riku’s attention had slipped away from Risa when the doors of the classroom opened and another owner of unruly, red spikes entered the classroom, greeting Saehara politely on his way to his desk. The usually boisterous reporter was unusually quiet today, offering just a halfhearted reply in return, his head thumping against his desk when he haphazardly let it drop so he could go back to snoring again. Riku waved at Daisuke and he sauntered towards her, leaving his school bag by his chair.

“’Morning, Niwa-kun,” she exclaimed when he stopped in front of her and she suddenly realized he had gotten a tad taller again. She had to look up slightly to look him in the eyes now. She stared at the curious boy in front of him in a daze until Daisuke craned his head a bit and gave her a strange look.

“’Morning, uhm...Riku-chan?”

“Ah!” She snapped out of her stupor when she realized that she was staring at him and he was starting to fidget in front of her in his usual, Daisuke-like manner. He was just so adorable sometimes.

She smiled at him in return and he blushed slightly, averting his bright gaze to stare at the floor, his hand automatically reaching up to scratch the back of his head, a nervous smile playing on his lips.

“Sorry, I spaced out a bit. You...you’ve gotten taller again,” she remarked, raising her own hand that hovered a few inches over her head and on top of his.

“You think?” He raised his head a bit, that cute blush still on his face. But, he was smiling sweetly at her and Riku couldn’t help but let out a giggle and ruffle his spikes that made Daisuke let out a yelp and fidget even more. Saehara added his own two cents somewhere from behind them, but they didn’t care.

They looked so happy in their own little world and Risa, for one moment, felt that horrible pang of jealousy in her chest, averting her dark, chocolate orbs away from the sight of the two of them. She just couldn’t look at them anymore. Not like that. Not when they were happy and together and she felt like everything she clung onto was slowly being torn away from her, piece by piece.

She was glad her sister had found happiness; she was just feeling miserable she also wasn’t the lucky one.

She directed her attention to her notebook, the blank page staring back at her, empty and white. Empty like her heart. She just didn’t know what she was feeling anymore. Everything was confusing her – the absence of Dark and those days spent in chasing the phantom thief; when he disappeared together with Krad, she felt like a huge chunk of something big and important had disappeared together with him. Whether that something was her heart, her soul, dreams or something else, she couldn’t tell. She just knew she felt like she was drowning in an endless whirlpool of her inner turmoil.

And then, there was Satoshi Hiwatari, the pained, tortured boy she wanted to help and who-

Her breath got stuck in her throat for a brief moment when she spotted him standing in the doorway in his school uniform, panting slightly and scanning the classroom with those ever piercing, azure eyes. Their gazes met for a moment and she stiffened, those eyes sending shivers and prickles down her spine, awakening forgotten, slumbering butterflies in her stomach.

Today, his gaze however, was slightly different. There wasn’t that cool, composed and clever shimmer in those orbs; it was almost like they were more alive, like there was more light flickering in them. They looked bluer and deeper and for a moment, she thought she could drown in them if she stared at them any longer.

She blinked in wonder and jerked involuntarily when she thought she saw him nod in her direction, but she wasn’t sure if he had really greeted her or her eyes were deceiving her. Either way, her lips curved up in a hesitant smile, her eyes softening slightly.

He looked away the next moment and turned his head to look at the standing couple on the other side of the classroom so she bowed her head as well, staring at the blank page again, realizing her heart had suddenly sped up and was thumping strongly against her ribcage. What was that just now?

She slowly raised her hand and rested her palm against her chest, listening to the excited voices of other girls gushing about the blue-haired boy returning to their class. Her face felt like someone had just heated it up and she was positive there was steam coming off of her cheeks so she bowed her head lower, letting her hair fall over her face.

“Excuse me,” Satoshi said politely and moved past the younger Harada coolly and past the chattering girls, looking at Daisuke who was observing him carefully from his spot next to Riku, the short-haired twin’s expression also sobering quickly. He was just about to round a few chairs when the doors of the classroom opened again and their teacher entered. Everyone’s voices hushed down, the sound of chairs being pulled over the parquet floor filling the classroom.

Satoshi frowned slightly, having no choice but to sit down, as well, but not before casting a knowing look to Daisuke who raised his eyebrows for a moment but then nodded discreetly in response. Riku only blinked at the silent communication between them, wondering just what where those two up to now. She opened her textbooks and leaned forward, remembering that she had suggested Daisuke to talk to the Hiwatari boy.

“All right class!” The teacher clapped her hands twice and with a cheerful voice, continued. “Before we continue, I have one announcement to make!”

Usually, she would more or less pay attention to the teacher but now she had more important things to think about. She glanced at the still figure of her sister and bit her lower lip. She would have to ask Daisuke about that later; she definitely wanted to know what Hiwatari had said to him and what they were talking about yesterday. She wasn’t that close to the boy genius, but she still cared about him, especially after finding out about his own troubled life.

She would’ve continued to sigh heavily and think about the current problems bugging them all when the word fieldtrip rang in her ears and she quickly turned her attention to their teacher, frowning slightly in annoyance when the commotion ensued in the class.

“No way! Again? I don’t wanna go on any stupid school trip!” Saehara bellowed, pouting in the back of the class, some boys quietly agreeing with him.

“But why? It will be fun!” The teacher, a young woman with long, wavy hair asked, confusion clearly written over her face. She thought young people liked to go on fieldtrips. Saehara glared at her in response, making her blink in surprise.

“Well, one time we were freezing our asses off on that mountain and then last time, we had to play rescuers because the Haradas got lost!”

“Hey!” Riku exclaimed, glaring daggers at the reporter wannabe, her fists clenched. Daisuke grimaced, already well familiar with Riku’s fiery temper. Risa cringed at the remark, sinking, if that was even possible, even lower into her chair. She really didn’t want to remember that incident. She had almost drowned if there weren’t for...whom exactly?

All she could remember was waking up to see Satoshi Hiwatari towering over her, with a strand of her hair in his hand. A light blush crept up on her cheeks again at the memory. Honestly now, what exactly had happened there that time?

“Class! Class, calm down!” The teacher exclaimed in distress, trying to make herself heard over the argument that now ensued between those who wanted to go and those who didn’t want to go on a school trip. She managed to duck a flying pencil just in time.

“So, what is it this time? Some freaky zoo?” Saehara drawled, irritated that Daisuke was still trying to decide whether he was on his or Riku’s side. “Knowing our luck, we’ll probably have to save one of you girls from lion’s cage!”

“Ugh, that’s IT!” Riku screamed and got up, ready to pummel the reporter junior to the ground. Other girls also jumped up from their chairs and Daisuke’s eyes widened when he realized that the school trip fight had escalated into a fight between boys and girls.

“Oh, man...” he mumbled dejectedly, holding Riku’s arms and trying to stop her from strangling Saehara. He glanced at the other, seemingly, only sane person in the classroom and caught him deadpanning at the situation.

Satoshi sighed, but there was definitely amusement evident in his eyes as he got up and turned to face the class.

The girls quieted down almost immediately, watching him in anticipation and admiration. Daisuke’s lips quirked into an uneasy smile; they almost looked enthralled as if expecting Hiwatari to perform some kind of magic trick that would solve everything. Well, Daisuke mused, perhaps he could’ve pulled off something like that before, but now...they were both helpless. And probably hopeless, too.

Satoshi cleared his throat softly and Risa turned her head shyly to look at his lean figure. He seemed to tower over everyone else in class.

“Since we can’t agree like this, I suggest we vote,” he spoke in his usual smooth voice, glancing at Daisuke and his fruitless attempts to keep Riku away from Saehara. The girl was still trying to burn holes in the other boy.

There was a pregnant pause, followed by the teacher’s encouraging words. “Right then! Thank you, Hiwatari-kun! Now...let’s see.” She ventured, glad that at least someone had common sense to do something about the whole ordeal. “All those who want to go on a school trip, raise your hands, please!”

All the girls’ hands flew up in a second, Riku slashing the air with a vehement movement of her own. Truth be told, she wasn’t that keen on going on a school trip, but right now, she was ready to even do that just to piss Saehara off.

When she turned and looked at Daisuke questioningly, eyes glimmering threateningly, Daisuke gulped visibly and raised his hand, thus sealing his fate. Saehara snorted from his seat. “Traitor.”

The teacher counted the votes and then huffed, planting her hands on her hips. “It’s a draw!”

“Hah!” Saehara exclaimed victoriously and got a few cheers from the other boys. The girls groaned and started complaining.

“It can’t be a draw! There’s 27 of us!”

Riku looked around to see Risa’s decision but the girl didn’t have her hand raised; she was just sitting there, still like a statue and staring ahead. Riku almost growled.

“Risa! Raise your hand!”

“Huh?” Upon hearing her name, the younger Harada snapped out of her stupor and then twitched slightly when she realized that all eyes were on her.

“You get to decide whether we go or not! Come on!” Riku almost screeched and Daisuke flinched. Sometimes, Riku was just plain scary when she set her mind to do something.

“Yeah, Risa, come on! You like to go on school trips!”

“Yeah, come on, it’ll be fun, Risa!”

“Yeah Harada, raise your hand. And then we’ll kill you, you know.”

“SHUT UP Saehara!” Riku screamed again and once again, Daisuke had a real trouble keeping her where she was. Risa, with her eyes wide and mouth agape, stared blinkingly at everyone, getting encouraging comments from the girls and glares from the boys.

“Uhh...I, uh...Well...” she looked around, noticing Daisuke’s red but smiling face, Riku’s wild grin and a look in her eyes that promised slow and painful death later if she were to say no. She swallowed and let out a nervous chuckle. She was really out of it all; when had the teacher mentioned anything about a school trip, anyway?

But then, she looked at a pair of cool, amused eyes and her eyes widened in surprise when she saw his hand in the air. Satoshi Hiwatari also wanted to go on this trip?

“Uhm...” She muttered, watching those calm, collected eyes that shimmered with something else but loneliness and hurt today. She blinked when she thought again that she had seen his eyes flicker at her and his neck crane just an inch to the left but then it was gone and he was back to being his cool, collected self.

“Risa!” Riku hissed from across the room and Risa jerked, knowing that all hell would break loose later if she declined. And, besides, Daisuke would be there, and all her friends would be there and...Satoshi Hiwatari would be there, too...

Casting one last look his way, she was kind of disappointed his head was turned but she really did like school trips...and she really hoped she could talk to him. She felt like she needed to talk to him or otherwise she would burst or die or...something!

“Yes!” She exclaimed and her hand flew in the air. “I’ll go!”

“Yes!” All the girls exclaimed, sending mocking looks and words to the groaning boys. Riku, finally free of Daisuke’s hold, stood over Saehara’s hunched form with a satisfactory gleam in her eyes and actually cackled.

“Take that, Saehara!” And with that, she turned on her heel, trotted up to her seat and sat down with a smile on her face. Daisuke approached his friend cautiously, an apologetic look on his face.

“Uh, sorry...”

“That’s okay,” Saehara mumbled and Daisuke flinched; he looked like he was considering the thought of jumping out of the window and commiting suicide. “With a girlfriend like that, I’m not surprised. I really hope you’ll live to see your 21st birthday.”

“I heard that.” Daisuke smiled uncomfortably when he heard Riku’s syrupy reply from her seat and sighed heavily. He really did start missing having some of Dark’s powers.

When the commotion finally stopped and all was settled about the school trip, the class returned to normal and soon, nobody was saying anything; the only audible sounds were the teacher’s words, the chalk sliding over the blackboard and pencils scribbling animatedly over the papery surface.

Risa, whose heart was still racing in her chest, couldn’t concentrate one bit. If anything else, she was even more confused now. Wasn’t Satoshi ignoring her? Didn’t he hate her or dislike her? After all, after he shrugged her off like that and ignored her for days, what was she supposed to think? And now...there was something different about him. Yes, he did look a bit tired and weary, but something...something was just different. His eyes and the way he looked at her, that flicker of some kind of emotion in his eyes...what was it?

She bit her lower lip and nodded to herself. She would have to talk to him again. Maybe during the school trip. Yes, definitely during the school trip. She was still worried about his health after that incident on his doorstep. She shuddered slightly at the memory of his head in the crook of her neck, his body slumped against hers...

“Aiya!” She hissed and quickly lowered her nose to her notebook after receiving a few odd looks from her classmates.

Feeling that familiar heat in her cheeks, she sighed and shook her head, mentally berating herself for such an outburst. But, although her feelings were still a jumbled mess she couldn’t sort out, she felt a little bit better...lighter. She wondered why, when just an hour ago she wanted to huddle in some dark corner and stay there forever.

Her fingers twitched slightly when a sudden urge to turn around and look at the object of her previous thoughts and chagrin hit her unexpectedly. She restrained from doing that, though, choosing to look at the blackboard and copy the notes instead. She never thought her adolescent years would be this troublesome and turbulent. And there wasn’t even a phantom thief involved now.

A few seats behind her, Satoshi was sitting calmly in his chair, his eyes absentmindedly looking out the window, Daisuke observing him questioningly from his seat across the room, wondering what his former arch nemesis and his friend wanted to talk to him about. He seriously wanted to help him overcome his fears and live a normal, happy life he so much desired. Seeing him being so tortured and haunted by his own emotions and thoughts now was like watching With squirm in pain.

It pained him, too.

When the last bell finally rang and signaled the end of the school for the day, Satoshi had tried to approach Daisuke but the latter was first hoisted from his chair and dragged away by a, suddenly, very lively looking Saehara and then later, he was dragged away by Riku, who started whispering something in his ear near the school entrance.

He sighed and shoved his hands in the secure depths of his pockets; he would have to wait for tomorrow and the school trip to talk to him.

As odd as it felt to be asking someone for help, Satoshi needed to know how to get rid of that fear; how to walk freely down his own path like Daisuke could. He didn’t want to be afraid of his newly gained freedom. He had spent all these years and all his efforts to get out of that cage...he didn’t go through all that pain and hardships only to get himself locked in his prison again.

He stopped in the middle of the school yard, watching Daisuke following Riku and frowned slightly. Honestly, the boy was being dragged around too much.

When Daisuke turned around, warm crimson orbs searching for him, he waved at him apologetically, mouthing tomorrow before Riku caught his attention again, hollering something about “that stupid Saehara”. He also caught a glimpse of the younger Harada’s brown tresses and her solemn gaze before they all disappeared behind the corner.

He sighed again and waved back to no one in particular anymore, his lips curving into a barely visible smile, but it was a genuine one.

He continued walking down the yard slowly, surrounded by the voices of other students hurrying past him, the almost same sunset greeting him upon exiting the yard.

He stopped and looked up, noticing the sky changing slightly, the first flickers of stars becoming visible. A light breeze wafted by and tousled his hair before he continued down the street at a leisurely pace.

He didn’t know if the nightmares would come again but this time, he decided he would at least try to fight them, to fight Krad, to fight the locked horrors of his own fears and mind.

For all his academic achievements, he realized that he still had a lot to learn.

He just hoped he was ready to fight himself this time.

--

TBC

a/n:

My goodness, I haven’t seen this submit new chapter page for so long! ...Maybe too long, heh...

But seriously, I must apologize for not updating this for so long. As usual, job got in the way, university got in the way, moving to another town got in the way, life got in the way...you get the drill. XD I just hope it will take me less time to update a new chapter next time. ...I'm not sure if anyone is still reading this story... .

Uhm...yes! School trip! I’m so original, ain’t I? Well, the exams ate all my muses and inspiration. But, I hope I’ll get to make it interesting.

This chapter was only scarcely double-checked because I have to pack and move again so if you see any mistakes, typos, rushed plot and so on, please forgive me!

Also, have you seen the latest manga chapters? Sugisaki-san has finally started working on DN Angel again! And the last chapter in a row was a real shocker! Both for us SatoxRisa fans and yaoi fangirls, probably, ha-ha!

Ahem, anyway...off I go. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as long and probably stupid and retarded it was. :D

Much love!

-A.S.A