|The Misadventures Of Molly Caffrey
Author: Shake Your Kitty PM
Sixth chapter. Shopping fun! Rr please!Rated: Fiction T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 4,807 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 02-16-06 - Published: 02-03-06 - id: 2781862
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A Day In The Life
Author's Note: It's been about a week since I wrote in the story, but here's a new one. I'm so bored.
This.. pretty much sucks, but what do you expect? Boredom does this to a person.
"Oh great, out of food.. I could just ask Baylock to get me some.. Nah, I'll go myself."
She went through her cabinents again for good measure before leaving the scene of the "crime"; this was the third time this week she'd eaten herself out of house and home! How could she go to Baylock without seriously pissing him off? Nope, she had to go alone.. Brave into the food territory.. She was suddenly scared.
Molly Caffrey walked down the empty streets before remembering she could just as well take her vehicle, since walking all that way would probably keel her over.
"Where are my keys? Oh Jesus.. Ugh, dammit, damn, Hell's Penis..!"
Just as she fumbled through her purse, a familiar automobile drove up beside her, almost striking her in the ass. It was Sean.. He shows up at the weirdest times..
"Hey, Molly. How's it hanging?"
"It doesn't hang, Cavennaugh, it just sits there." she replied. "Can you give me a lift to the supermarket? Not the same once, though. Those people don't like me anymore since.."
"Since when?" Sean inquired, looking mildly interested.
"It doesn't matter." She skipped to the passenger side. Click, click. Molly pulled on the door hand and growled as it remained stationary. "Come on you stupid UGHHHH." She was struggling now, grabbing at the little, silver hatch as hard as she could and pulling her weight with it. "IT'S NOT OPENING!"
Sean blushed. "Oops, sorry." Clickity. The door was magically unlocked.
"Thank you very much!" Molly said cheerfully as she crawled in beside the handsome man.
"What exactly are you looking for?" Cavennaugh asked quietly as the two wondered around the local supermarket for a little over an hour. Caffrey still hadn't put much in her buggy; a case of wine, some blank discs, a Britney Spears cd... "Um, Caffrey, did you look at all the stuff you put in your buggy?"
Caffrey eyed it and screamed dramatically. She picked up Mrs. Spears' image, flung it away from her as hard as she could, and ran running away. "It burns! EVIL!"
"Um, alright then.." Cavennaugh whispered. "Note to self; never offer Molly eight candy bars.. Ever."
He found Molly crouched down in the pizza isle, eyeing a red, boxed one which she obviously wanted. "If I wasn't so hungry..."
"Huh?" Sean asked as he helped her to her feet.
"S-sorry. I came down.. Now I feel like hell, you know? Low energy.. Ugh.." She swayed a little and caught Sean's arm. "Woo, thanks."
"I think we need to get you laid down. You don't look so well, Molly."
Caffrey looked up at him with a surprised glare. "You just want to get me in the sack, don't you? Pervert!" She stuck her tongue out at him with a haunty look before walking smack into the pizza isle. Dazed, she stumbled away from the area.
They were on the road again. Molly was hunched over, clutching her head and spouting obscenities as she ate from a box of cheese crackers. She looked over to where Sean sat; he was so adorable when he furrowed his brow in concentration.. Well, he had a lot of wrinkles too, and he looked well over 40 something, but you know.. He was still cute..
"Just drop me off here." Molly said as they went into the perimeter of her home. "I feel like walking off this buzz."
Cavennaugh protested until seeing Molly was too stubborn to change her mind, so he complied with her. He helped her out of the car, offered to carry her grocieries (which she hadn't bought much of as she ended up passing out after walking into the cash register and knocking it over, much to the dismay of the registeer who screamed obscenities until she was blue in the face, passed out herself, and Cavennaugh ended up having to ring up everything somewhere else himself. :( ) She had eggs (most of them crushed after she'd haphazardly flung them into Cavennaugh's back seat. There was a big puddle of yellow and white on some of the seats), bacon, deli meat, more cases of wine (Cavennaugh was starting to see a pattern here), at least seven boxes of cheese crackers, alot of fattening garbage such as sugar cookies drenched in icing, and a few cds which Molly once again absent mindedly picked up (though thankfully, none of them were Britney Spears'.)
So she ended up carrying all this back to her house, opened the door, and plopped down on her sofa.
"I'm such a buffoon sometimes.." she told herself. She shook her fist at the author and screamed several curse words. "You here me! Quit making me stupid, ya here? Golly Miss Molly!" (passes out)
Author's End note: Let's see; I had several granola bars stacked with chocolate chips, lots of fake sugar, and I browsed some naughty naughty and whoosh, had an epiphany. I had to write another chapter!
Someone, anyone, is there any salvation? UGH.
About the title: Yeah, I totally ripped off Xena, LOL. I also made up a word. Did you see it? Woot, spot the made up word:D