Author's Note: Here it is. It's done. Finally. As you'll probably realize, this is essentially the final scene with Suder in it from Meld. It's just a favourite scene and I figured it was an ok way to end it on...mainly cause I don't know what I would do otherwise...I suppose I could have continued on throughout Basics pt 2, however I dunno what I dculd have done though. So, I might as well just end it here. Thanks for reading everyone :)

- Nth Degree

Lon quietly had his eyes closed, concentrating on glancing at his inward violence emotions. It was a turbulent, churning sea, and he was on the top, safe from the storm and the lashing winds that came from the deep, violent clouds of his emotions. It was, however, contained within the confines of the Vulcan suppression; it didn't spread throughout him like he was accustomed to.

The fire through the veins of the demon.

A noise aroused him from his calm state. His eyes bolted open and they slightly narrowed. Though he was Betazoid, Lon could never tell the emotions of other people; hell, he couldn't find out his own emotions, most of the time, but even so, he had an innate impulse when things were wrong. It had been suppressed with all of his vengeful feelings, but it sprung to the surface, telling him something was out of the ordinary.

"Tuvok?" he called nervously, standing up quickly.

Suder walked to the front of the brig, stopping just inches away from the force field holding him in to his prison. In an ironic way, he thought, it was also keeping his past out. Did he even want to be released…? Not unless he was dead, he never deserved to be released.

He watched as Tuvok came around from the door to the brig, standing over the violently knocked unconscious Ensign Ayala. Lon looked at his unconscious comrade on the floor and couldn't help but glance wide-eyed at what he – what his demons - did to Tuvok.

Lon looked, almost sympathetically, at Tuvok "I wondered what happened to you. They wouldn't tell me anything."

"There were some…complications from the Meld." Tuvok looked at Lon with a dangerous gleam in his eye, also walking to the barrier of the brig.

Lon nodded quietly, "I wondered about that."

"I have been undergoing neuro synaptic therapy in sickbay."

Lon nodded again, "It didn't work?"

Yet before the words came out of Tuvok's mouth, Lon knew the answer, and it wasn't from the telepathy that he had; as all Betazoids had. It was the feeling that he had déjà vu, because he kind of was – he had tried the same thing himself, to a massive failure.

"No."

The words came out just like Lon figured they would. He nodded again and placed his hands behind his back, as he was used to. Many questions were swimming through his head, each wading through the clouds, descending into the turbulent seas that were trying to overthrow the barrier that he had managed to suppress. Realization dawned on him as one question rose itself above his feelings.

"Have you come to kill me?" Lon asked, the most obvious and hopeful question running through his head.

Tuvok barely flinched at the blunt question, "To execute you…for your crimes."

Lon nodded again, a little bit pleased with the response. But even so, more questions raised their devilish heads. "To execute me…I see." He paused, the answer unfolding in front of him:

He was his own death.

"And calling that makes it more…comfortable for you?"

"I will take no comfort in this." Tuvok only replied carefully, showing rationality even though he was plagued by Lon's evil feelings.

Tuvok left the other side of the force field and walked over the unconscious form of Ayala to the controls. He was profusely persperating, a result of the lack of self control, Lon mulled over in his head.

"A most logical use of violence to punish the violent." Lon leaned against the side of his cell, carefully taking his thoughts into account. A Mind Meld. Another one. Fatal, if it was out of control.

Tuvok didn't respond, making Suder's thought become more cemented in his mind. He had a lot of time to think these past few days. With a quick buzz, Tuvok disengaged the force field holding Lon in the brig.

Lon quickly stepped out, his first freedom in days? Weeks? Time had no meaning anymore.

"We both know that I am prepared to die, but are you prepared to kill?" He challenged. Suddenly, the barrier for the turbulent seas of his mind was starting to break down. He could hear the demons talk to him. It was very quiet and vague, but it was there. Whispering threats of death for both him and Tuvok.

"It needs to be done!"

"To release your violent impulses?"

Tuvok paused again. "To serve justice." In a voice quite unlike his own.

Lon leaned forward and glared at Tuvok. These feelings which he had grown to detest, but accepted as part of him – at least, until the Meld, were starting to scream at him again. But even so, he still found a way to rise above the chaos in his mind.

"Justice or vengeance? Understand one thing, Tuvok: I can promise you this will not silence your demons." Lon breathed quickly, his dark cold eyes hardened. "If you can't control the violence, the violence controls you.

"Be prepared to yield your entire being to it," He shook his head, his head riddled with experience. "To sacrifice your place in civilized life, for you will never be a part of it, and there is no return."

Tuvok came fast and furious, his hands clamping onto Lon's head. Lon's breath sharply ceased – another Meld! Perhaps now he could be released from the hellspawned demons wrapped around him.

"I. Seek. No. Return." Tuvok replied through gritted teeth, forcing his hands onto the side of Suder's head.

"Of course not, you would not be able to live with yourself – and then we are both to die." Lon surmised quietly, "And that will end the torment!"

The torment of his life.

Tuvok began the mantra to initiate another Meld. And this time, he wasn't paying attention. His thoughts were firmly focused on his exit; on his relief from his pain. He could feel Tuvok's mind join with him again. The demons suppressed with the meditation came out, mixing with the demons that he had given to Tuvok. The sound – the sound was so comforting, but also very disturbing.

Tuvok's mind overpowered his own. He could feel the overbearing presence, searching through his thoughts and his memories, vengefully circulating and threatening to destroy him.

The Fatal Meld.

Tuvok pressed harder as Lon began drowning with the vengeful demons wanting retribution for his suppressing and murder of them. He began to shake as his mind started being completely irradiated by the evil forces of his own construction.

He saw the light. It was a future without violence, without demons screaming out commands that he had to obey. It was white. He turned his head to the ceiling of the brig and realized that his vision was dimming. Darkness was overtaking the light that he so wanted to be a part of. His future could be very different; could be during a time where he could discuss his own emotions, and even other people's.

Sudenly the hands released him and he fell to his knees. Both the darkness and the light disappeared and turned back into the brig ceiling. He turned his head, his eyes full of realization, towards the fallen form of Tuvok.

The demons were silent. Whispering amongst themselves.

He forced himself to crawl over to the fallen Vulcan officer and pressed his commbadge.

"Crewman Suder to the bridge."

"Suder?" a voice rang, "What are you doing with a commbadge?"

"…You better get down here, Chakotay. Tuvok needs help."

The demons were silent; almost in awe as Suder calmly raised Tuvok's head and placed it on his leg. The Vulcan was unconscious, just like Ensign Ayala. He shared a look with his fallen comrade and quietly began to suppress the demons once again.

That Vulcan Thing…it was his salvation, but it was also his curse.

His life but his death.