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TV Shows » Stargate: Atlantis » The Lies They Tell Us, Those Xmas Specials font: B s : A A A . width: full 3/4 1/2
Author: Saynt Jimmy
Fiction Rated: T - English - General - Reviews: 7 - Published: 02-04-06 - Updated: 02-04-06 - id:2784896

The Lies They Tell Us, Those Xmas Specials


It had barely begun to snow but already the ground was covered in a thin layer of white, the grass becoming invisible.

“Great.” Muttered Rodney, staring out of the window of the room the team had been given for the night. It was a but like a hotel suite except there was no kitchen. The locals provided them with meals. “We’re never going to be able to get back to the gate in this weather.” He huffed, momentarily fogging up the window even more.

“Sit down McKay.” John called from where the rest of the team was seated in front of the fire. “We’re not going home tonight so you might as well just try to have fun.”

Rodney turned to look at him, disbelief on his face.

“Doing what? It’s not like they have cable TV here. There’s nothing to do!” He picked up one of the mugs of hot liquid they had left for them and tried it. He gagged. “Their coffee isn’t ever good!”

“Well you don’t seem to have any problems entertaining yourself on Atlantis. Play a game on your laptop or something.”

“I’ve played them all!” He started to pace in front of the large bay window, or the alien equivalent to one. “I’ve caught up on all of my reports, I’ve corrected all of the problems people gave me, I didn’t bring any ancient artifacts with me, I’m hungry and dinner isn’t for…” He checked his watch. “Another two hours! How long have we been here anyway? It feels like days! Weeks!”

Sheppard checked his watch.

“Three hours.” His reply triggered a loud and long cry of exasperation from the brilliant scientist who couldn’t come up with a way to entertain himself for two hours.

Teyla and Ronan merely watched the pair with amused looks on their faces. Over the period of time he had been there, Ronan had learned that this was just how the two showed their friendship and to just stay out of it.

“Fine.” John said, standing up. Rodney paused mid rant. “I’ll go talk to Gara and see if we can get some food. I’ll be back in a minute.” He left the room and they could hear his footsteps on the stairs.

“Great.” Rodney sighed. “Now I have no one to argue with.” He slumped in the nearest chair, that happened to be the Colonel’s, and sipped his bad coffee in silence, pulling a different face after each gulp.

John returned fifteen minutes later with a tray of, what looked like, bagels and cream cheese.

Rodney opened his mouth to ask the question that everyone knew was coming.

“No, Rodney, there’s nothing in it that has an resemblance to citrus, I asked the chef. Selma is bringing up a few more things.” He walked towards the back of the room to put the tray down on the table but Rodney had already grabbed his share of the food before it hit the wood.

“Whoa, slow down.” John called as Rodney attempted to eat the bagel sized ball of fluffy dough whole. “Just so you know, you’re not getting another.” He handed one to Teyla and one to Ronan before taking his.

“So, who’s Selma?” Rodney asked between his two bites. Teyla gave him a wearied look.

“She is the woman who met us at the stargate and gave us the room.” She quirked an eyebrow. “Do you not remember her?”

Rodney snapped his fingers, trying to remember.

“Ah yes, the blond!”

“Brunette.” John corrected, not looking up from the book he was flipping through that had been sitting on the table. He guessed it was their form of a bible. Why else would they put it in a hotel?

“Right. Who was the blonde?”

“Shenelle.” Ronan said flatly as he stared out of the window, willing the snow to stop. “The inn keeper’s daughter. Selma’s best friend.”

“Yes. Of course.” He suddenly became very interested in his coffee substitute.

There was a knock on the door. John got up mumbling something about Selma.

The rest of the team listened to the pair’s quick exchange then John came back in with another tray. Selma and Shenelle followed him in.

Both Selma and Shenelle were very small and thin. They wore similar dresses that looked like there were from Lord of the Rings. Selma’s was pale blue and Shenelle’s was pale green.

“We have not had guests that eat so much before.” Shenelle informed them.

“Yeah, sorry about that. Rodney has no control over his stomach.” John apologized.

“Do not be sorry.” Selma said with a warm smile. “Jana is pleased that you like his cooking. He does not usually get to cook so much. He enjoys it thoroughly.”

“Well, we’re glad he’s happy.” Rodney said absent mindedly as he began to examine the food, wondering what to eat first.

“We will not impose any longer. Enjoy your meal. We will collect the dishes when you ring for us.” Selma gestured to the bell near the door before they each gave a slight bow then left, closing the door behind them.

“Well, they were nice. Who were they again?”


After the large dinner that Selma and Shenelle had organized, the team went back to their room. By now, the snow had been blown up against the window, almost blocking their view entirely.

“I haven’t seen this much snow since Antarctica.” Rodney exclaimed as he flopped onto the couch. “I hoped they didn’t have it in the Pegasus galaxy. But of course, if there’s rain and it gets below freezing, then it can’t just stay rain..” He continued with that thought for another ten minutes. But eventually, the team had enough talk of moisture and saturation so they gave him another puffy ball of dough that Selma had made for him herself, adding spices and a special sauce she had also made. John had attempted to help her but only helped by making her laugh so she inhaled their version of flour and sneezed, knocked over the whole container and covering them both in it.


Later that night, after they all went to bed, Rodney heard an urgent knock on the door. He jumped up and looked around the dark room he was sharing with Ronan. Ronan was already walking towards the door.

They both hurried into the main room where John was sleeping on the couch. Ronan opened the door to see Selma, obviously panicking, near tears.

“Selma? What’s wrong?” Ronan asked.

“Have you seen Kenji? I can’t find him anywhere!” Kenji was Selma’s eight year old brother who seemed to idolize John and Ronan.

Hearing her alarm, John had woken up and ran over. Teyla was hurrying out of her own room.

“What?” John was shocked. Kenji was fairly shy and didn’t seem like the type to run off.

“I woke up to find his boots and coat gone! I fear he went out into the storm!” She near hyperventilation by now.

“What? Why would he do that?” John asked, alarmed.

“I believe he heard you and Ronan discussing going out into the storm. He wanted to go out with the hunting team earlier but I would not permit it. His hunting effects are also gone! Shenelle’s brother is also missing, Caral. We believe they left together!”

John cursed under his breath and began to put on his shoes. “Where are you going?” Selma asked through her tears.

“I’m going to find Kenji.” He said with the determined look in his eyes.

“You cannot! Not until morning! The Nalu comes out at night!”

John and Ronan both froze in the process of gathering their weapons.

“The what?”

“The Nalu. A giant white beast that captures those who venture out into the snow at night. They are never seen again.”

“A Yeti.” Rodney exclaimed, rolling his eyes. “They have snow in the Pegasus galaxy, why not Yetis!” John ignored Rodney and turned to Selma, grasping her firmly by the shoulders

“Selma. A furry snowman is not going to scare us. We will bring your brother back. I promise you. Teyla, Rodney, stay here with Selma incase they comes back. Radio contact at all times.” And with that, John and Ronan flew out of the door.


When they got outside, John and Ronan were hit in the face with a huge gust of wind and snow. It made it almost impossible to breathe and felt a bit like getting hit in the face with a folding chair. Now John knew how the cage fighters felt.

The snow was coming down so hard Ronan could barely seen John in front of him. The snow had already accumulated a good two and a half feet and was incredibly hard to walk through.

“I’ll take point.” Ronan yelled over the wind. John just nodded and pulled his neck warmer over his mouth and nose. Ronan did the same.

An hour later, they were both freezing. They should’ve worn heavier coats, John decided.

Colonel Sheppard?” Teyla’s voice came from the radio. “Ronan? Are you there?”

“Teyla, this is John. We haven’t found them yet.”

Gara has sent out a search and rescue team to help. Many people offered to join.”

“Rodger that. We’re in the woods and we’re in pretty deep. Any footprints they might’ve left have been covered up under a foot of snow.”

“Sheppard.” He turned around to face Ronan who was pulling something our of the snow. A grey child sized pack.

“Teyla, could you ask Selma if Kenji or Caral was carrying a grey pack?” He yelled over a loud gust of very cold wind. There was silence for a moment on the other end.

Colonel Sheppard, Shenelle says the Caral did have a grey pack and Kenji had a black one.”

“Well, we found Caral’s.” He called back. Ronan gave him a grim look but they kept going.

A few yards further, John tripped over Kenji’s pack that was buried on the path. Ronan radioed Teyla and told her of their recent discovery. And they kept walking.

“I’m starting to lose feeling in my foot! This is not good!” John yelled over the wind.

“Me too!” Ronan called back. He surveyed their surroundings then smacked Sheppard on his shoulder and pointed into a clearing where a very familiar round ring stood.

“We could go get a puddle jumper! The clearing is big enough and we could use a life signs detector!” He yelled at Sheppard.

“What?” Sheppard yelled back, but he was pretty sure they had the same plan.


Teyla! Come in!” John’s call came from the radio. She hurried to the table where she left it and responded.

“Colonel Sheppard. I am here. Did you find something?” She glanced at Selma and Shenelle who were clutching each other’s hands.

Yeah! We found the gate! We’re going to go back and get a jumper and use that to locate them! We’ll call back when we’re in the jumper!”

Teyla walked back to the friends who were huddled on the couch. Their empty mugs of what was once tea sat on the table.

“They found their way back to the Stargate and will return with one of our ships. It will be easier to find them and quicker to get back. Your brothers will be fine.” She assured them. I hope. Was what ran through her mind.


This is Colonel Sheppard requesting permission to come through!”

Dr. Weir ran from her office when she heard the call.

“Lower the shield.” She ordered before answering John.

“This is Atlantis. You have an all clear.” Seconds later, John and Ronan came through the event horizon, both covered in snow and pink from the wind and cold.

Elizabeth hurried down the stairs.

“Where are Rodney and Teyla?” She asked as the gate shut down.

“We just came back to get a jumper. We have a situation on the planet. Two boys went out into the storm and are lost. And to make it worse, they have a Yeti who eats people who probably has them. We’re going to go back and look for them with the life signs detector in the jumper.”

Elizabeth stared at the two.

“At least warm up a bit first! You’re freezing and probably have frost bite!”

They decided to stay quiet about the loss of feeling in their toes.

“No time!” John yelled as they took off towards the jumper bay.

Within five minutes they were back on the planet and searching for life signs. The snow seemed even thicker when you were flying through it.

“There’s the rescue party.” Ronan pointed to five large groups of dots that had spread out.

“And there’s the boys.” John pointed to three dots isolated in the woods. “And the Yeti.” He added.

“There’s a clearing that you can land in.” Ronan pointed to a large clearing just south of the boys. “We can take a hand held scanner to keep looking for them.”

John just nodded and concentrated on flying through the snow.

“Teyla?” Ronan said into his radio.

Ronan? You have the jumper?”

“Yeah. We’ve located them. They’re with the Yeti but they’re still alive. We’re landing just south of them.”

Alright. Let us know when you find them.”

“Will do.”

John put the jumper down with little difficulty considering he couldn’t see very well. There was just a fair sized jolt when they hit the ground.

“Good landing.” Ronan said sarcastically.

“Hey, any landing you can walk away from is a good landing. Or that’s what we pilots like to say.” John smirked before grabbing his P-90 and opening the rear hatch.

Immediately the snow whirled into the back, forming an inch almost instantly.

“Oh damn.” John shivered as he pulled out the life sensor he took from the jumper. “Okay, they’re approximately two clicks north of here. Let’s go!” And they were off.

After an hour of fast walking, John spotted a cave with a glowing entrance, obviously a fire was inside. He put up his hand to stop Ronan and hoped that he could see it through the snow. When he didn’t get plowed over by the large Satedan, he assumed he saw his signal.

He made a few more hand signals, laying out their attack plan. First they were going to make sure it was the two boys and the Yeti and not a few travelers who got lost. Then they would survey and make sure the boys were in danger. If the Yeti was their friend or something, like all of those dumb old animated Christmas specials, then they wouldn’t shoot it. He doubted that would happen. But if it was hostile, then it was going down.

They slowly crept through the snow that provided them with cover, getting closer to the cave. They strained to hear over the wind if the boys were in immediate danger.

John took another look and the scanner. There was still three life signs. That was a good sign. The boys were still alive.

In perfect unison, the two men carefully and slowly turned the corner and took a look into the cave. It was very small and didn’t seem to have any back exit. There was only a small dome but no tunnels branching off. Nothing like the caves on earth that seemed to go on forever.

But there was so big hairy snowman. Instead, there were three children, Kenji, Caral and a small girl who was either unconscious or sleeping.

John caught Ronan’s eye and the two crept in. John quickly put himself in a position where he could see all of the nooks and crannies. He didn’t want any surprises. He looked down at the scanner again. Only three life signs still.

“Kenji.” He called softly. “Kenji!” The boy looked up at his idols and grinned tiredly.

“Colonel Sheppard. You came.” He tried to get up but was tied up with crude ropes. John and Ronan crept forward and each pulled out a knife and began to cut the boys’ bindings.

“Did you think we wouldn’t?” John asked, grinning. But Kenji couldn’t see it behind the Colonel’s neck warmer. “Where is it?” He asked glancing towards the mouth of the cave. It could be back any minute and the life signs detector didn’t have the biggest range.

“I do not know. It just left without a word. Or, in it’s case, a grunt.” Caral piped up. He was the funny one of the pair. John grinned again, happy they were alive.

“Who’s the girl?” Ronan asked, nodding at the girl on the other side of the cave.

“We do not know. It brought her in not long ago. She has not woken up yet. I have never seen her before. I do not believe she is from Talin.” Kenji said, rubbing his wrists and staring at the girl.

“Well, we can’t just leave her here. We’ll take her back to Atlantis for medical attention to see if anything’s wrong with her.” John said to Ronan. “But first, lets radio Teyla.” Ronan nodded and took out his radio.


Teyla?” Teyla jumped up from the couch next to the still huddled girls. They were sure their brothers were dead and refused to let Teyla tell them otherwise.

“Ronan? Have you found them?” She looked back at the girls who didn’t even bother to look up.

Yes. They’re fine. We’re bringing them back now. And we found a girl. Is there a small girl, maybe fifteen, missing from Talin?” Teyla turned to ask the girls but they were busy hugging each other and celebrating that their brothers were alive. Talk about mood swings.

“Selma? Do you know if there are any girls missing from the town?”

“I do not believe so. At least, I have not heard of anything.” She turned back to Shenelle and they actually kissed each other. Very passionately. Teyla raised her eyebrows and turned her back to the girls “making out” as John called it.

“Selma has not heard anything of a girl going missing. Perhaps she is from a different village.”

Okay. Thanks. We’ll be back within two hours- Colonel! Watch out!” Kenji’s voice came from the background followed by the most terrifying snarl Teyla had ever heard.

Whoa!” The Colonel’s voice shouted. “Caral! Move! Get the girl out of here! Kenji go with him!”

“Ronan! What is happening?” Teyla called into the radio. McKay hurried out of the room he had barricaded himself in with his laptop and food. He couldn’t do anything to console the sobbing girls so he decided to get out of the way.

“Teyla? What’s going on?” He asked worriedly.

“I do not know. Ronan! John?” She called into the radio again.

Sheppard! Behind you!” Ronan’s yell was followed by a cry of pain from the Colonel. “We are experiencing technical difficulties! Please stand by!” John yelled into the radio before it all went quiet.

“Colonel! Ronan?” Teyla yelled but was only met with static.


“Colonel Sheppard!” Kenji yelled from the mouth of the cave as the Yeti’s claws connected with John’s upper left arm at a very high velocity.

“I’m fine! Run south! You’ll find a ship. Wait there. We’ll be there soon.” The boys both nodded then disappeared from view.

John turned back to look at the eight foot tall furry snawman standing before him, snarling loudly with drool hanging from it’s mouth that froze before it hit the ground. It’s

eyes were yellow and matched it’s even more yellow teeth that were crooked and a few were missing. It had three inch claws and two horns on it’s head.

“Yao’s got nothing on you.” John muttered as he stared up at the towering soon to be wrestling champion. It definitely wasn't like the Christmas Specials.

Then, before he could react, it picked him up and slammed him into the ground. Yep, he’d fit right in with the WWE. He thought as he heard his rib crack.

Ronan charged the beast with his sword and make a few vital cuts in it’s stomach. But he wasn’t fast enough to get out of the way. With a sweep of it’s arm, the Yeti had Ronan pinned against the cave wall.

Cue John and his P-90

John whipped his P-90 around and began to fire into the Yeti’s back, which only seemed to piss it off even more. It let out a glass shattering roar as if to say: “first you steal my food and then you shoot at me? Oh hell no!”

It swung it’s claws at John’s chest but he hit the floor just in time. Lucky break. Ha, not for his ribs. He groaned and rolled over just in time to see the Yeti preparing to flatten him with it’s fist. He quickly rolled out of the way, yet another stupid move, but he was still alive.

Ronan hit is a few times in the chest with his rifle but it didn’t seem to have any effect.

“How do you kill this thing!” Ronan groaned as he dodged another sweep of the Yeti’s arm. And then John had an idea. A brilliant idea. And Awfully brilliant idea.

“Ronan! Get out of the cave!” He yelled as he scrambled to his feet while rummaging through his vest.

Ronan saw that he had a plan and fired at it a few more times to keep it distracted from the Colonel before running out into the snow and wind.

John pulled three grenades out of his vest, pulled the pin on all of them, dropped them and ran like a bat out of hell.

The blast threw him forward into a tree, which crack under his force and broke in half. John groaned and sat in the snow, sweat pouring off of his face. He looked over at Ronan who was lying in the snow, panting.

“That. Was. Awesome!” John exclaimed. “Too bad I’m in too much pain to enjoy it.” He groaned and attempted to stand, using the broken tree to pull himself up. Ronan snorted and pried himself off of the ground.

The journey back to the jumper was a long and painful one. But they were so hot and sweaty, it wasn’t cold. When they finally got there they found the two boys and the girl, waiting for them. Wrapped up in a blanket outside the rear hatch. John mentally opened the hatch and the five of them walked in. Well, four, the girl was carried.

Ronan radioed Teyla and informed her of their conditions, glossing over the most important things. He and John thought alike, no need to worry them. So he just told them they had a few scrapes and bruises. Not a complete lie.

By the time they landed, the snow had stopped and the sun was coming up. John mentally opened the read hatch again and the boys ran out. John and Ronan sat in their chairs for a moment, thinking about what just happened.

“Christmas specials are full of shit.” John stated.


Yes, the “any landing you can walk away from is a good landing”…pilots really do say that. Or at least they did when my dad was in the air force flying helicopters. I don’t know about now…I don’t know anyone currently in the USAF.

There will be another chapter…I think. Well, only if people ask for it. But I warn you. If I do write another chapter, it could be a while. Or maybe not…I have plenty of time tonight…

Saynt Jimmy



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