Author: Seductive Venus PM
She wishes that he still loves her.Rated: Fiction T - English - Drama/Angst - Hinata H. & Naruto U. - Words: 2,728 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 6 - Published: 02-05-06 - Status: Complete - id: 2785907
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
(Theme 88. Broken)
She couldn't help but feel that he was playing with her.
Whenever she looked into his eyes, there was none but sincerity. His tenderness was true and he took care not to hurt her. But there was something... missing. She couldn't tell exactly what it was but she was sure that his heart was not hers to hold. Sometimes she thought that he was humoring her. It was unthinkable. (But it might be true.) Suspicions rose from within her and swirled like thickening mass. He said he loved her and she had no choice but to believe. She knew she shouldn't doubt him but she was starting to. It was terrifying.
Suppose that he found out about her doubts. There would be nothing but discord between them. Their trust and loyalty for each other would break. Their relationship wasn't so hard. In fact, it was almost perfect. They were the envy of all of their friends.
In Hyuuga Hinata's heart of hearts, she knew she would believe. Didn't she want for this to happen? Ever since she realized that she was truly in love with Uzumaki Naruto, she did not stop believing on that day when he would love her. She'd been so happy when he confessed his love for her. It was as if her dreams finally came true.
But there was something wrong. She could feel it.
Her eyes misted over as she recalled the memories of the seasons that had passed. She remembered strolling under rains of cherry blossom petals, bathing in the first summer rain, and playing with the red and orange leaves. There were tears and kisses when they fought and made up. There were laughter and stories in their idle moments. In every moment she spent with him, she fell in love with him more.
He was her sun, moon, and stars. Without him, she felt that she cannot go on. Her friend Sakura once told her that she must learn not to hurt, just in case. It was strange advice but she'd thanked her all the same.
Hinata leaned her head back. Sunshine spilled from the half-opened curtains beside her bed. She smiled and reached up as if to catch the sunlight. It was too early to dwell on such sad thoughts. She'd better keep her spirits up until her boyfriend came home.
"How are you?"
"Was your mission easy?"
How conventional was their conversations now. He'd been away far too long from her. Somehow, with each departure, the rift grew between them. Words failed. They weren't as talkative with each as they were before. The silence was not like those that lay between persons who knew and understood each other. It was unfamiliar and awkward and it hurt.
Naruto held her hand as they walked through the streets. It was another cool winter day. A weak sun was struggling to shine. They were wrapped warmly but the silence made her feel cold. She was freezing.
"Did you miss me?" she asked.
"Yes," he replied with a hint of a smile. She let out a relieved sigh. So, he did.
Something caught her eye. She paused and he turned to her, confused. The curio shop was still open. Without thinking twice, she went in. The bell tinkled as the door closed behind Naruto. She walked quietly along the shelves, searching. He looked around the merchandise. The things for sale were old and beautiful.
Hinata stopped in front of a row of dolls. She smiled in secret delight as she lifted a lovely porcelain doll. It had gray-blue eyes and red pouting lips. Longish dark hair was pulled back in a simple knot and set with a pretty comb. The white silk kimono with its embroidered cherry blossoms was in lovely condition. It was simply too beautiful.
"That's pretty," Naruto murmured from behind her. She nearly dropped the doll. "Do you want it?"
She put it back. "No," she replied, blushing faintly. "It's too expensive."
He wrapped his arms around her. "For your birthday, perhaps?"
Hinata managed a weak smile. "Perhaps."
"I promise I'll be there on your birthday," he whispered in her ear. She felt her knees weaken.
"Y-You're not coming?" She removed herself from his embrace and looked up at his face, confused. "Why?"
"I've just been informed that there'll be a mission then. Its top secret and very important." Naruto said quietly but his tone softened as he took in the expression in her face. She looked so angry and sad. "But you know I'll be there. I promise."
"Okay. I'll miss you." Hinata said as he gathered her up in another hug. She had a disturbing thought that he was more relieved than happy. She pushed it away. Naruto loves me, she said again and again to herself. But she wasn't too sure if she would be convinced again. He tightened his hug and laughed. She laughed too. Tension and suspicion wasn't going to get her anywhere.
December 27 came. It was a beautiful day. The sun came out after a long confinement behind the clouds and made the silver frost shine. It was as if those majestic things were decorations for her birthday.
The usual party went on to celebrate the Hyuuga heiress' coming of age. She was eighteen and legally an adult. Her achievements weren't much but she was proud of them. She was a Jounin and taking care of her own team. Soon, she'd be initiated to the clan's mysteries in preparation for her future position.
Her friends came over with presents and laughter. They made the left wing of the Hyuuga mansion into a noisy party. Everyone was in a festive mood, as if it was Christmas too. She'd prepared so much for this evening and they all drank to her health. They were all very happy and she received lots of compliments for her beautiful dress and excellent party.
But her sharp Byakugan-enhanced eyes could not find the person she wanted to see the most. Where was Naruto?
"Kiba-kun, have you seen him?" she asked anxiously.
"Nope, I haven't," the Inuzuka heir replied for the nth time. She smiled and laughed to hide all the worries inside her. There was something wrong in the air. She could feel it.
It was already nine o'clock in the evening. He still hadn't arrived. She was more than worried now although her friends assured her that Naruto would do everything in his power to come home on time. He'd gone to a lot of missions lately but he always came back to her. Surely he wouldn't miss her birthday party? They all knew that she missed him very much.
Hinata paced the corridor outside the main hall. She was cold and tired of waiting but she knew she must.
Finally, the front door opened. Her breath caught as she saw Naruto come in, smiling and holding a gaily wrapped present. Warmth rushed into her cheeks and flooded her whole being. He came!
They hugged tightly and she did not know whether she would laugh or cry. She was so happy that he was there to celebrate her birthday just as he promised her! She reveled in the warmth and security she felt in his arms. How she missed his touch, his scent, and his warmth!
"Happy birthday, my hime!" Naruto said smilingly. He handed her the gift and she received it with trembling hands. It was wrapped hastily but she did not mind. She was just happy to receive a gift from him. She unwrapped her gift. With a long sigh, she picked up the porcelain doll from its nest of tissue and wrapping paper. Moonlight slanted from the windows and the doll seemed to glow. A slow smile spread across her lips as she admired his present.
"It's beautiful," she said with happy tears in her eyes "thank you."
"No problem, my hime," he said, using his old nickname for her. She blushed and hugged the doll to her chest. It was perhaps the best gift she'd ever had. Maybe she ought to kiss him as thanks later... She missed the weary and anxious look that crossed Naruto's face as she led him in to the party.
Everyone cheered and the mood lifted. They noted the sudden change in the dark-haired girl and were pleased. She was finally happy.
Haruno Sakura came an hour later. She apologized for her delay and gave Hinata a pretty necklace with a snowflake pendant as a present. Though the pink-haired girl looked tired and withdrawn, she joined in the festivities gaily. Hinata felt worried for her friend.
The party went on smoothly and Hinata was thoroughly enjoying herself. It was the first time she had an unsupervised birthday party. Her father had dropped in on dinner but left right afterwards because he couldn't stand the noise. She promised herself that she would not let worries bring her down and enjoy the night.
Around eleven in the evening, Hinata wondered where Naruto was. He had been most patient while she entertained her guests but he excused himself to get some drinks. A half an hour had passed and he still wasn't back at her side. She scanned the whole room. There was no sign of her boyfriend anywhere.
"He's so sweet," Ino said as she admired the porcelain doll. It was quite the belle of the evening as none of the other presents came close to it. Hinata blushed cutely. She was quite sure that it was earning a soul because of the connection she was forming with it.
"Naruto had good taste," Tenten observed.
"Speaking of him, I haven't seen him anywhere." Ino's eyebrows knitted together. Nara Shikamaru draped an arm around her shoulders and she blushed. The girls exchanged smiles.
"Not thinking of replacing me, are you?" the Jounin said huskily to Ino's mingled embarrassment and fury.
Hinata looked around. Indeed, her boyfriend was nowhere to be seen. Come to think of it, he developed the habit of disappearing from her company. "Excuse me," she said as she got up, holding her doll. "No, no. Just enjoy yourselves. I'll be right back."
She exited the main hall and walked along the corridors leading to the west wing. To save time, she activated her Byakugan and scanned the whole perimeter. Her eyebrows furrowed. The chakras present in the balcony were very familiar...
With her heart pounding against her chest, she made her way as quietly as she could towards the open balcony.
The French doors were open. She peeked in and then wished she hadn't. Her grip loosened and the doll tumbled to the ground. The temperature seemed to have dropped several degrees and she couldn't stop her teeth from chattering. She didn't know whether it was shock or the cold that made her tremble like this.
Hinata closed her eyes and tried to erase the image from her mind. Uzumaki Naruto was locked in a passionate embrace with Haruno Sakura... Her Naruto was kissing someone else...
She pressed her back to the wall and bit her lip. It was too much... She slid down the wall and hugged her knees to her chest. Her body shook so violently she felt that she was going to break. Her fingers were trembling as she reached to pick up her doll. The fall had broken its pretty face and shattered its arms. The glassy eyes looked up at her with an innocent expression. So pretty, so innocent, and so fragile was this doll.
She couldn't keep the tears in any longer. They fell from her eyes and landed into the cool porcelain. To her, the cracked porcelain resembled her trust in Naruto. It was shattered forever. It hurt so much. Why was she so naive to think that Naruto would always be faithful to her? Why didn't she see that he would always love Sakura more than her?
Hinata felt like a discarded doll. She didn't know how long she sat there. Her dress was crumpled in the back and she knew she looked horrid. But she didn't have any strength to get up. Soon she felt their presences around her.
"H-Hinata..." It was Naruto's voice. She could hear the shock in his voice. She didn't need to look at him to see the guilt that was written all over his face.
"W-We're..." Sakura trailed off. Sorry.
He tried to touch her arm but she shied away. No, she would not lie beneath their feet. She got up gracefully and faced them with her eyes shining with unshed tears. Her face was a tightly controlled mask. She clutched the doll closer to her chest as if to protect her heart from more hurt.
"I saw it. I know what you're doing." Hinata said coldly. Her voice was cool; disdain dripped from it.
"I-It's not what you think..." Naruto tried to reason but she shook her head. Sakura attempted to reach for her arm, eyes beseeching her to stay and listen. She was crying. Hinata vaguely wondered what she should feel for this girl. "Hinata, listen, please... You have to listen. You don't know everything," he was saying.
"It's everything I need to know." the dark-haired girl said as she tried to keep herself composed. How she would have loved to slap this woman's face for stealing what was hers! But that would not achieve anything. Besides they were her friends. "Please, don't talk to me. You may leave my house now."
Hinata looked at them for one long moment. Her eyes had emptied of tears. She felt numbness from everything seeping into her being. They were her friends and she should be kind. She can't forgive right away but it would come. There was nothing else they could expect from her.
Goodbye, Naruto. I'm not going to hate you but I won't forgive you just yet, she thought as her arms tightened around her doll. They were staring at her guiltily as if waiting for her to say something. You're not any different from them.
"Hinata?" he asked tentatively.
"Get out." Hinata said very softly. "Get out from here. You are not welcome anymore. Good night."
She turned her back on them and started towards the direction of the party. With each step, she felt as if knives were slicing away her heart. He wasn't hers and he'll never be. It was best to show their partying friends some grace under pressure. They'll never know what transpired.
"Hinata!" Naruto yelled as she walked away, holding his last and perhaps most beautiful present of all. Sakura was still crying with her face in her hands. This wasn't what they had expected at all. But the damage was done. Hinata was lost from them forever.
Hinata did not look back at them. She carefully put the doll down against the open doors of the balcony where it stared at them with cold glassy eyes.
A/N: A few years back, I thought that this story was fine the way it was. Yesterday I decided to reedit because it missed some important moments and was too short. I dedicate this to the reader who wrote to me and asked for a sequel. (Sorry I forgot your name:D) This is for you guys who continue to love this story... :D