Rubbing It In

By Clorinda

Rated: PG

Category: General

Summary: The A-Team from an inside perspective. One-shot. I know this has been done one too many times, but this one's different.

Author's Note: This has nothing to do with the infamous "Without Reservations," or whichever episode in which face tries to leave the team— because I have never seen it.

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I swear they rub it in too many times, and too hard, for anyone to believe they're doing it out of fondness. I've taken it too many times while we were an army unit, during jobs, and even when we're running for our lives.

The Face Man's the weak link in our chain. The one who keeps falling for the pretty and the evil ladies, the one who probably won't survive Vietnam for more than a week. The one who can't even stand a bruising without landing out cold.

Hannibal keeps sticking my name on the volunteer list for cons, even the ones where I can easily lose "a coup'la teeth" and break a recently-mended nose.

BA gives me that "look" when we're surrounded; the one that says, "How many minutes do Ah give ya before I suckah-punch the guys that're headed for ya?"

Even Murdock does it. "Only you, Lieutenant?" he'd say back when he used to pilot for us. No backup? But he goes easy since I'm the one who can bust him out of the VA. Doesn't mean he's given up with it.

It stings. It really does that not even these guys won't take it with easy grace that I'm no good at saving lives unless I'm at least ten yards away and armed with a gun. While I look at all that I've risked to scam them in and out of places we don't belong in, you'd think they'd be a bit more grateful.

Hannibal dons just about the dumbest disguises, and no one gives it to him bad about the Aquamaniac get-up he roams around Hollywood in.

Nah, it just has to be Face. Face, mind you. Not the Catholic angel Alvin Brenner, not Richie Rich Ashley Hemmings, not even ladies' man Templeton Peck— but Face. Oh yeah, run it hard into him, 'cause he's never been ridden with angst, 'cause he doesn't need a break, and definitely 'cause he never has any feelings.

Let's all rub it into Face Guy. Fifty points if you hurt him where it hurts.

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"Ah, hang on a sec, Hannibal, I'm on my way there, I just see a traffic cop coming."

"Not again, Face."

"Bye, Ma— sorry, Officer, how can I help you?" I hang up, lying through my teeth. I have to.

—- End -—