((Quick a/n: I wrote these two drabbles separately, for different 52flavours themes. Though chronologically this one comes first, it would ruin the joke of the first drabble, so here it is as chapter 2.))

It had not been difficult to install a chimney into ACROSS headquarters. Chimneys were, after all, basically pits, and a simple matter for one with over-techonlogy. The bait had been equally simple; his subordinates had been a touch confused, but more than happy to hang up stockings and decorate a tree.

The trap had been the easiest part of all. As this so-called "Saint" Nicholas (patron saint of what, he might ask, breaking and entering?) made his escape through the chimney, it sealed off and filled with gas. Il Palazzo would have as long as he wished to examine the "gifts" left for his subordinates, in which time he would determine whether Santa Claus was an enemy of ACROSS.

Hyatt's present was a small box that rattled when Il Palazzo shook it. He guessed that it contained pills, and his guess was not refuted. The tamper-proof seal on the jumbo bottle of ibuprophen did not seem to have been broken, but he would be a fool to give it to her based on that alone. He pulled the rope, and tossed the bottle down the pit.

Next, he took up Menchi's gift. Apparantly, that corpulent lobster saw fit to give her a fancy new collar. Totally inappropriate for an emergency food supply. This went down the pit as well.

Elgala's present was a massive, fluffy, Godzilla-esque pillow with a bow around its neck. This, Il Palazzo disposed of simply because he did not like it.

Finally, he took Excel's gift in hand. He wondered to himself what it might be, because what could you give a girl like that, really? For a moment of shameful fancy, he imagined opening the box to find his own, still-beating heart. He gave it a tentative shake.

The package began to buzz and vibrate. A bomb! Il Palazzo flung it down the hole and waited for the explosion, but the explosion did not come. Perhaps the water had short-circuited its moving parts. How disgracefully amateur! Still, to try to murder Excel in cold blood...

Oh! He had a present as well!

Hidden behind the base of the tree, with nothing more than a simple Post-It note reading "Il Palazzo," was...

...a lump of coal.

Il Palazzo narrowed his eyes. Yes, this "Santa Claus" was definitely an enemy of ACROSS.