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Author of 95 Stories |
To my reviewers, a profound thank you for giving this somewhat obscure premise a chance!
Eternity
When the kiss ended, Lucy looked at him, confusion evidently shadowing her face, and the faun looked somewhat perplexed. "Have I done something wrong?" He inquired not really sure of what to make of her odd facial expression.
She touched her lips and smiled shyly. "No, I internally hoped that you would kiss me like that, but you…" Her voice trailed off and she was unable to put into words what specifically she wanted to say. Instead, she reached out and touched his face. "You…"
"What is it?" He asked, but watched as she slowly backed away and looked up at him, the contact abruptly broken.
"You haven't changed at all? You look the very same as you did the day we first met. Why?" Lucy asked. "I've changed, but why haven't you?"
"That would take some time for me to explain," he said and looked around where they were standing. "I should explain everything to you, but I really don't know where to start. Aslan had a time trying to explain all of this to me when I first came here. Yet, I can only guess that since you only arrived today, you obviously have the very same questions about it that I did."
"Yes, I guess so," she said softly. "As we were speaking just now, I kept thinking about how deeply I care you, then you kissed me, and everything suddenly felt right as though I had no real reason to question anything. I knew at that moment that I loved you and that I wanted to be with you, but then the kiss broke and I suddenly realized that even though I wanted nothing more than for it to go on forever, I could not let go of the questions that remained. Mr. Tumnus, I don't know what's happening to me or what I am to make of all of this."
"I can very well guess that you are perhaps frightened about seeing me as I am right now. In hindsight, I suspect you figured on seeing an older faun with spectacles who is unable to walk by himself, correct?" He asked directly.
Smiling weakly, she nodded. "Yes, I suppose so, it's strange because I figured that you'd be much older then you are. I'm not disappointed; please don't think that. If you had been older, I'd ponder if my feelings towards you were wrong."
"Yes, I understand far better than you can imagine," he said with a slow nod. "I shared a similar conversation with Aslan. I could choose, and I felt much more comfortable being this age, as opposed to any other. I realized that I longed to be the same age as I had been when we first met. That was, you see, the happiest day of my life. It was hard and bittersweet, but wonderful too. I knew that it signified the warmest moments of my existence and I did not want to ever forget that. Later, I had the chance to watch you grow into such a lovely young woman," he said smiling as a slight blush crept up his cheeks.
"Me lovely?" She whispered.
"Yes," he said simply but did not elaborate.
"Right now, you look the very same as that day at the lamppost. The day when I scared you, then we spoke and shook hands," she smiled as she abruptly extended her hand to him and watched as he took her offered hand in his and shook it in the very same manner as he had done that day so long ago. She giggled as they began to swing their hands back and forth. "I shouldn't be asking so many questions, should I?" She asked with laughter in her voice. "It sort of ruins the moment, doesn't it?"
"No, your questions actually enhance it," Tumnus said smiling at her, but retained the hold he had on her hand. "You would be asking them sooner or later anyway, because as well as being beautiful, you are also very inquisitive."
Lucy smiled weakly. "No one's ever called me 'beautiful' before, nor have they called me 'lovely'."
"That I find hard to believe," he said.
"It's true, you flatter me, but Susan is the one who is beautiful, not I," she said.
"Queen Susan is beautiful yes, but that doesn't mean that you are not. You must never forget that it was your loving nature that drew me to you, and internal beauty cannot be hidden by external things, it shines through, and it is that, which I see in you." He released her hand so that he could touch her face, his fingertips gently caressing her cheek. "Lucy, when I spoke to Aslan, he told me that I would see you again, and my heart leapt for joy at that moment. He knew how much you mean to me and he has affirmed to me that the love I hold for you is no mistake, nor is it wrong, or improper. I think in making me young, he has given his blessing to us, dearest Lucy."
"A blessing, as in you are my betrothed?" She said not bothering to try and conceal her wonder. She could suddenly feel her heart as it began to beat loudly in her chest, and she knew that she wanted nothing more than to be just that.
He nodded. "In a way, yes, but it is more than that. You see, a true love cannot be bounded by time or space, souls are bonded by love, the purest love that Aslan emanated when he created Narnia or when he brought us together for an eternity. That love exists far beyond anything that we can comprehend in the physical sense. That is, your perceptions of old and young are born out of your own perception of time. Here, time doesn't exist, so although we look as we do, it is entirely our choice."
"You mean; I chose to look this way?" She asked.
"Yes, you did," he smiled and nodded. "If you had not chosen it, then you would be different than you are right now. Aslan would have granted your wish to be a different age, but you see, deep inside, you would still always be the same Lucy Pevensie that I met in Narnia all those years ago. Do you understand?"
"Not really," she shook her head, "but maybe it doesn't really matter." She reached out and touched his scarf. "Everything is just as I remembered, and that's so comforting."
The faun nodded. "Yes, it is."
"This is still strange to me," she shook her head as she fingered the scarf. "So I guess my considering it strange is because I have a different concept of time than you or Aslan, right?" She asked.
"Yes."
"So here time doesn't really exist? Is that all that this is about, how I perceive the passage of time?"
"Essentially, yes," he smiled. "Lucy, what you are will not change, you are here at this moment because you chose it." He offered her his arm formally and continued to speak. "To explain it in a much easier way, just imagine that there is no past or future, there exists only the moment."
"But how do you remember so much about what happened in the past? I mean; you remember the lamppost and everything that happened there, right?" She asked and he nodded. "If time doesn't exist, then how could you possibly remember all of those events?"
"I think because the past and the future are meshed together in the present," he offered. "It is all rather confusing, but I do remember a great deal. Maybe Aslan gave me these memories and I kept them alive in my heart." As he spoke, he backed away from her and reemphasized this point by speaking the very same words he had spoken all those years ago. "Lucy Pevensie from the far land of Spare Oom where eternal summer reigns over the bright city of War Drobe, how would it be if you came and had tea with me?"
"That's what you said when we first met," she smiled brightly. "I remembered it when I first arrived here and recognized you. It all came back to me, and it felt like it happened only yesterday, but logically, I knew that it was really a long time ago."
Tumnus smiled. "I never forgot it, and I didn't forget that you accepted my offer then. So, would you care to join me now?"
This time, without so much as a hesitation, she wrapped her hand around his offered arm and they began to walk in the direction of where Tumnus' cave was situated. Several minutes later, they reached his front door and she shook her head, all the while unable to conceal her disbelief. "Everything looks exactly the same as I remember," she whispered.
He nodded as he opened the door. "It is, this cave has everything that the other cave had, and as soon as you enter, it will also have your warmth." He held it open for her so that she could enter. "Please."
As she came inside, she gasped but looked around. Just as he had said, everything was exactly as it had been the first time she had visited him.
"This isn't possible," she whispered, backing up against him and he found himself wrapping her gently in his arms in order to steady her so that she would not fall. "How could everything be as it was before? Your cave in Lantern Waste is probably in ruins today, yet this looks exactly the same. To be honest, it's kind of scary," she said and shuddered.
"In the old country, things decayed and were destroyed over time, but here everything is as we wish for it to be. It is sort of like a reflection on what it had once been, but this mirror is larger and grander than anything we could imagine," he said smiling. "It makes this New Narnia much better than the Shadow lands of the Old Narnia."
"Is it like magic?" She asked.
"No, not so much magic as the manifestation of what we hope or wish for," he shook his head as he motioned towards the chairs and Lucy lowered herself into one of them, her eyes wide as she took in the familiar, yet strange sitting room.
Everything was as she remembered it to have been, right down to the portrait of Tumnus' father that was placed over the mantle. As she sat and waited for him to join her, she wrapped her arm around herself and shivered unconsciously, not so much as from the cold, as from the strange familiarity that she had in this place.
The faun, upon seeing this, went over and set a fire in the fireplace, and within minutes the cave had warmed up and Lucy eventually spoke. "It's strange, every time I look at you, it feels as though I'm getting a second chance."
"In a way that is what we are both getting," he said as he sat down across from her. "Lucy, I know this is dreadfully frightening for you, it's like seeing a ghost or worse yet, thinking that I bathed in a fountain of youth. You had no idea that you'd meet up with me today, or that I'd look the way I do, but I am the same as you remember. In Narnian years compared to Spare Oom years, I am not so much older than you are now. You see, dearest Lucy, Aslan knew from the start what was happening with us and he made it possible for this moment to come about. After all, if he has the power to turn back time and overcome a witch's magic, then he can make an old faun young again."
"Is that really what you wanted?" She asked. "Too look this young and not be some old codger here?"
The faun chuckled softly, but nodded. "I wanted nothing more than to be as you remembered me, through that, perhaps you could grow to love me as much I do you. It is rather selfish of me to speak this way, I know, but when I left the old country and came here, everything became new again. All the aches and pains of my age left me, as did the physical attributes, which showed how old I was. Dearest Lucy, I was truly free and Aslan restored my youth, just as he breathed life into me all those years ago when I had been turned into a statue. This is why all of your friends in Narnia look the way they do, this is Aslan's gift to us all. He doesn't want us to live in this new place as old and decrepit, he wants us to live and breathe in this world as he intended. I realized this through the dialogues I shared with him. I came to understand that his true wish for all of us is to love without limit or condition, and to live the fullness of life as intended. This is not a continuation of your life as it was, nor is it a continuation of my life as it was, but instead a new beginning, a rebirth and a chance to start anew."
"I never thought I would be called back into Narnia again," Lucy said softly, a stray tear streaming down her cheek. "Aslan said I was too old to come back, and now I'm here and it's only nine years later in my time, and I've grown up, maybe it's a mistake, and I am too old to be here and should be sent back," she said as a shudder cursed through her.
"No, it's no mistake, you are not too old to be here," he said smiling at her, his eyes twinkling. "You're perfect as you are." Inching closer to her, he leaned over and rested his head on her shoulder. "You are not that child anymore. Deep inside, you will always be that little girl who asked me: 'What are you?'." He chuckled softly. "No one had ever asked me that before, and it was something that I would always remember about you. That one statement showed me that you were not someone to fear, but rather someone who knew that the nature of love was without boundaries or limits."
"I remembered that just before I came to find you," she smiled as she tapped the tip of his nose with her finger. "Perhaps, today; I truly know what you are."
"And what might that be?"
"What else? You are my one true love," she said as he raised his head and she wrapped her arms around him, her lips brushing teasingly against his.
He returned her kiss, his lips gently caressing her own. "I still remember you as you were back then, and perhaps that is what you fear the most, that I will only see what you were and not what you have become, but I do see you, my love, I have."
She lowered her head and nodded. "This is all a bit much for me to take in," she whispered honestly.
The faun reached over and touched her face. "All you have to know, dearest Lucy, is in Aslan's Country, you have finally come home. This is the reality, not the dream. You are not too old for this reality, for that child which dwells in the heart of the woman you have become, still lingers. I have been waiting for you to come, and you have no reason to fear ever being sent back. You are no longer bound by the rules or expectations of your time." He leaned over, and this time, instead of giving her a teasing kiss, his lips covered hers with all the love he carried in his heart for her.
When the kiss ended, he began to speak softly, his lips only inches from hers. "The only time that exists now, is eternal."
The End.