The Guiding Star

Forgiven: Chapter Eight

By: Sakura

“Sakura…”

Xiao Lang raked his hand through his short brown hair. Sometimes he acted in such an unreasonable manner…it was frustrating! Di Xuan had given him a scolding Xiao Lang wouldn’t forget easily. The annoying thing was that his cousin was right. As he leaned against the balcony banister, he propped his head up with his hands and looked up at the night sky. The moon was hidden behind dark clouds that night and the stars seemed to have disappeared. He suddenly felt very lonely.

“Why aren’t you ever here when I need you, Wing Kuen?” he murmured sadly to himself. When Xiao Lang was younger, he could always depend on Wing Kuen for guidance. No matter how down he felt, how miserable he was, Wing Kuen would suddenly pop in with a joke, reassure him that everything would be all right, and life would go on as usual. Xiao Lang never completely understood all of his brother’s jokes, but just having Wing Kuen there made him smile. But now…Xiao Lang shut his eyelids tight. He would not cry…that would be like displaying a weakness. But it hurt…it hurt so much…

Four days ago, Xiao Lang had felt something was wrong. His heart felt a certain emptiness he didn’t understand. It was like something was missing, or just gone…Then, Xiao Lang had presumed he was just worried about how to escape from the palace and how to help Sakura…but that was just part of the reason. The piece of him that went missing…it died when Wing Kuen died.

“Xiao Lang?” The Chinese Prince opened his eyelids and looked back to his room. A hand pushed away the curtain and Mei Ling appeared. “Are you feeling better?” Xiao Lang nodded silently and Mei Ling joined him on the balcony, overlooking one of the many gardens in her home grounds. They shared the silence together, not comfortably, but understandingly, listening to the breezy wind as it rustled the leaves on the tall trees. Each knew how the other felt and both felt torn about Wing Kuen’s death.

“You know, Xiao Lang,” said Mei Ling finally, breaking the silence, “Wing Kuen…he was the best brother anyone could have…the best friend… Xiao Lang, it hurts you; I know it does. I feel it, too…” Tears gathered in her eyes the more she thought about him. Xiao Lang watched her intently, waiting to hear the rest of what she had to say. “But still,” she continued, wiping away the tears before they fell, “he didn’t sacrifice himself for nothing. He did it for you; for all of us. If he were here, he would tell you to stop feeling sorry for him…that he wasn’t about to die for nothing. He would also tell you not to break your promise…our promise…the one that all of us made when we were really little.” Smiling crookedly through her tears, Mei Ling added with forced cheerfulness, “and I won’t let you break your promise either.”

The Chinese Prince didn’t answer his cousin right away. Instead, he was letting her words sink in. She was right. He knew Wing Kuen wouldn’t want him to feel sorry for him. Wing Kuen would’ve upbraided him harshly for acting so unreasonably, especially to someone who only meant to help him, like Sakura… “Mei Ling,” he said quietly, turning to face her after a long pause, “your smile looks just like Wing Kuen’s.” He embraced her and she hugged him back. “Thank you,” he whispered.

~*~*~*~*~*~

With a little sigh, Sakura changed into her sleeping robes and sat down on the bedside, her eyes red from crying. As hard as she tried, she could not forget Xiao Lang’s expression when he yelled at her. “I don’t ever want to see you again!” That scene replayed over and over in Sakura’s mind as tears rolled down her cheeks.

“Where am I going to go now?” she wondered sorrowfully. There was no way she could stay here…not anymore…For a brief moment, she thought of returning to Japan…but there was nothing to return to…Her tears fell faster, as she buried her head into her pillow. Suddenly, there was a knock on her door. It was soft-sounding, almost hesitant. And then, the person ceased knocking and opened the doors. Xiao Lang stepped into the room; his face had lost the angered expression held earlier, his eyes showing remorse. Sakura immediately stood up and bowed slightly to him, the way Tomoyo had taught her weeks ago. “Hello, Prince Li,” she said, rather dully, her eyes focused on the ground. She then turned and sat back down on her bed. Xiao Lang flinched slightly at her tone. Her voice had lost the warmth he always heard…and loved…and it was his fault.

“Sakura,” he began uncertainly, “about earlier…” Watching Sakura closely, he noticed she never once moved her gaze from the ground. This was going to be harder than he thought. He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry.” Abruptly, Sakura tore her eyes from the ground and looked at the Chinese Prince with surprise.

“Prince Li, what do you have to be sorry about?” she asked. “It wasn’t your fault at all. If I had only said something sooner, then…” As if remembering, Sakura moved her gaze back to the ground. “Don’t you hate me?” she asked softly, afraid of the answer. Xiao Lang stood by Sakura and placed his finger under her chin, lightly holding up her head and changing her gaze to him. Sakura’s eyes contained a swirl of confusion, hurt, and sorrow.

“Sakura,” said Xiao Lang softly, “I don’t hate you; I never have. It was unreasonable of me to get angry with you. It wasn’t your fault, not at all. I’m sorry for saying I never wanted to see you again. I - I didn’t mean to say that. It’s just I was-” He released his grip and dropped his hand. “Do you forgive me?”

Sakura nodded slowly. “But there’s nothing to forgive,” she said with a half-smile. Xiao Lang sat down beside her, much to Sakura’s surprise.

“I was wondering, Sakura, how did you already know Wing Kuen had been…” he said, trailing off. He acknowledged that his brother was dead, but it still hurt to mention it. Sakura smiled sadly while she spoke.

“I met him the day after you were taken away,” she answered. “At first, I thought he was you…you both look so similar. He…promised me that he would help me escape…with you. I don’t know why, but I believed him. But later on, a messenger came and told me you had been executed. I couldn’t believe it. I thought Wing Kuen had lied to me or broken his promise, but the next thing I knew, there you were, with Tomoyo. When you told me you switched places with Wing Kuen, I realized he was the one that…” Sakura blinked away tears and looked at Xiao Lang. “I’m sorry…” No answer came from Xiao Lang. He sat completely still in a stony silence - or so it seemed. His hands were clenched tightly, resting on his lap. Sakura wondered if the Prince was mad at her again and looked down.

All of a sudden, Xiao Lang pulled Sakura to him and rested his head on her shoulder. Then, and only then, did he allow the tears to fall. Tears for his brother, his companion, his…friend. He couldn’t forget - would never forget - the one person he had cared for most in the world. He had lost him…forever. He was not coming back. Sakura said nothing but allowed him to shed his tears silently, his arms wrapped around her tightly, holding her close to him. He was shaking slightly and Sakura lightly stroked his back in a comforting gesture.

“I don’t want to lose you, too,” he whispered into her ear quietly.

~*~*~*~*~*~

“Spying, again, Mei Ling?” accused Di Xuan.

“What?” objected a surprised Mei Ling in a fierce whisper, as she backed away from the door. She placed a finger on her lips. “Shh!” She led her brother away from Sakura’s room and both walked on the outdoor pathway leading to their rooms. She smiled at him. “Xiao Lang has apologized to Sakura,” she told her brother. Di Xuan nodded.

“That’s good,” he said. “He seems rather attached to her, don’t you think?”

“I noticed that, too,” agreed Mei Ling immediately. “I wonder how this was brought about…”

“Mei Ling! Di Xuan!”

Both siblings paused in their walk and turned around, only to see Fu Shan heading quickly toward them, an expression of worry on his face. “Is something wrong, Fu Shan?” asked Mei Ling as soon as he had caught up with them. Fu Shan nodded.

“There’s a messenger here from the palace,” he said. He turned to Di Xuan. “Shui Ken wants to come here and the messenger had to see if you were here. He wanted to talk to you about the Li Elders.”

“Li Elders?” repeated Di Xuan, not at all surprised. “I bet he wants to know where they’re located…”

“How come?” asked Mei Ling.

“He probably assumed Xiao Lang would go see them,” replied Di Xuan, “and since he has no idea where they are, he wants to see someone that knows.” Di Xuan grimaced. “Does this mean we have to show him hospitality while he’s here?” he grumbled inwardly.

“Then we better send Xiao Lang and Sakura on their way immediately,” said Mei Ling. Di Xuan nodded and the siblings turned quickly on their heels to head back toward Sakura’s room while Fu Shan went to stall the messenger about Di Xuan’s whereabouts.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Xiao Lang stifled a yawn and looked down at Sakura. The Japanese Princess was fast asleep, leaning against his shoulder. He smiled as he watched her. Then, dropping the smile, an expression of seriousness replaced it, and he turned his attention back to watching the road, his grip tightening on the reins.

Once again, Xiao Lang and Sakura were travelling by horse. Not long before, Mei Ling had hurried into Sakura’s room. Xiao Lang turned crimson when he remembered being found in the Japanese Princess’ arms by his cousin. He had half-expected Mei Ling to say something about it, but she immediately told them of Fu Shan’s news. Not wasting a second, she sent them on their way, their belongings and packs all ready for flight. Xiao Lang felt bad for Sakura, whom barely had time to rest between flights. But unless they wanted to be taken back to the palace, they had no choice. Now, they were well on their way to see the Li Elders.

As they swiftly crossed mountain terrains and grasslands, Xiao Lang couldn’t help but feel worried. There were so many people involved in this situation…too many people. Wing Kuen had gotten involved and he had paid the ultimate price. Mei Ling and Di Xuan…his cousins…they had aided a fugitive and if discovered, could be either imprisoned or killed. Even Sakura’s handmaiden, Tomoyo, had a hand in their escape. And Sakura…how did she get involved in all of this? Why did he always feel he had to protect her? She had been taken from her home, probably the only home she knew, and placed in a completely different world…only to be used as a concubine…his brother’s concubine…If Shui Ken hadn’t destroyed Japan…

“But,” Xiao Lang reminded himself, “if it weren’t for Shui Ken, I would never have met Sakura…” He smiled wryly to himself. His brother did something good for him…for once…

Suddenly, the sound of flowing waters attracted Xiao Lang’s attention. Dismounting the horse, he led it through the grasslands and out into a clearing. The grassy meadow sloped downward, in a steep hill, to meet the waters of the little river before them. Xiao Lang tied the horse’s reins to a tree branch and gently lifted the still-sleeping Princess from the horse and placed her on the ground, against the tree trunk. He watched her silently, drinking in her every feature with his eyes alone. She seemed to be at peace when she slept, the ends of her mouth curved up in a tiny smile as if she was having a pleasant dream…who knew how long pleasantries like this would last for her…He sighed warily and sat down beside her, leaning his head against the trunk as well.

The dark clouds from earlier seemed to have disappeared and the stars lay mapped out before him on a clear blackish-blue sky. It reminded the Chinese Prince of a night long ago…

~*Flashback*~

“I don’t want to go home,” shouted Xiao Lang stubbornly, banging his little fists on the table. Wing Kuen was beside him, trying to calm down his little brother. Even at nine, Wing Kuen never failed to help his brother and friends. Mei Ling hugged Xiao Lang tightly, tears in her eyes.

“You’re not going away again,” she said resolutely, wiping her tears away with the sleeve of her arm. “Di Xuan and I don’t have as much fun without you and Wing Kuen with us.” In turn, she clutched her other cousin’s hand in her tight grasp. For a girl, Mei Ling was very strong. Di Xuan sat beside his sister and two cousins quietly, not saying a word. For the entire eight years he had lived, Di Xuan was always very quiet and reserved, as opposed to his outgoing twin. Yet, he still felt the same emotions as keenly as Mei Ling. He did not want his cousins to go back to their home. He wanted them to stay - longer than a month - even if they did belong in the palace and he and his sister didn’t.

“We’ll be back soon,” said Wing Kuen soothingly. “We always come back to visit, remember?” Mei Ling nodded her head sadly.

“But then you leave us again…” she said softly this time. “Why can’t you stay with us forever?”

“No one can stay here forever,” murmured Wing Kuen seriously, a far-away look in his eyes. He had far greater wisdom than a normal boy of nine should have. “I’ll tell you what,” he added a little more cheerfully, “let’s make a promise. No matter what happens, we’ll always be together. We’ll help each other out and be there for everyone. And if any of us goes before another-”

“-we’ll live on knowing they passed away for a reason,” cut in Xiao Lang suddenly, “and that there are always others we need to live for.” Silence followed as Wing Kuen nodded, rather solemnly. All three children knew the weight on Xiao Lang’s shoulders…his mother, Li Yelan, had passed away a few months before and he had been inconsolable at first. But gradually, his cousins and brother helped him realize that, as hard as it was, life could go on…there were always other people to live for…and his mother wouldn’t want him to be sad his whole life…

“So it’s a promise?” asked Xiao Lang holding out his hand to them. Wing Kuen, Mei Ling, and Di Xuan reached for Xiao Lang’s hand and all locked their hands with each other.

“Promise!” they all shouted, knowing deep in their hearts they would - could - not break it.

~*End Flashback*~

“Wing Kuen, I’ll never break my promise,” whispered Xiao Lang under his breath. “Mei Ling and Di Xuan won’t let me.” A little smile came to his lips as he thought about his cousins. He then looked down at Sakura’s lithe sleeping form and gently tucked a stray hair hanging over her sweet angelic face behind her ear. “Besides,” he added quietly, “there still are others I need to live for.”

All of a sudden, Xiao Lang heard a rustle in the leaves and branches above him that startled him out of his thoughts…but there was no wind at all. It could only mean…there was something - or someone up there! Without a second thought, he half-jumped, half-glided up into the tree, landing on a sturdy branch. He hadn’t been mistaken…there was a person in the tree; although it was too dark to see his face and the branches and leaves shaded him as well. The figure unsheathed his sword and swung at Xiao Lang, who jumped up to avoid the slash. But before the Chinese Prince could regain his balance, the other figure dealt him a harsh cuff to his face and Xiao Lang fell to the ground, landing hard.

As Xiao Lang shook his head, trying to clear his senses, and cursed himself for being so careless, he found himself staring at the blade of the double edged sword, pointed straight at his neck. It was aimed to kill.

Author’s Note: Oh, my…cliffhanger…and I didn’t mean to have that, honestly! -_- It just sort of…happened (the chapter was longer than it was meant to be)…This story has taken an odd turn from my original plan…I haven’t decided if it’s a good thing or a bad thing yet…Anyway, I’ve begun work on chapter nine.

You know that scene between Xiao Lang and Mei Ling in the beginning? No, it’s not what you might have thought. Their promise had nothing to do with marriage (obviously…you have to have read the flashback before you got to the author’s note, ne?). They both treat each other as a close brother and sister would. I sometimes don’t understand why some people like to bash Mei Ling in their fics. She has great character and a nice personality. She’s one of my fave CCS characters when it comes down to it (then again, I love everyone).

Also, that motion at the end by Xiao Lang, the “half-jump, half-glide” thing…*sweatdrops* I didn’t know how else to describe it! I was sort of referring to those Chinese kung fu movies/series where the characters are kind of…how should I say this…flying? In a way…I think they did that in “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon”…don’t really remember though. I saw that movie on Christmas Day (the last movie I ever watched -_-…in theatres, anyway) and my memory’s kind of fuzzy.

Sorry it took so long for me to get this chapter out. And if you’re reading “The New Cards”, I am equally as sorry for the time I’m taking. I just can’t get around the writer’s block for that story! Plus, I haven’t been in a writing mood for a long time…that is the reason for the delay for both fics.

Thanks to all the reviewers for all your comments for the last chapter! (And special thanks to Namida, the one who got me so into Fushigi Yuugi ^_~. Knowing you’re reading this makes me even more worried about whether or not I’m doing a good job with this fic. *sweatdrops* Err…-> end pointless blab.)

*Sakura
~The Animé Archives Team