Author: varietyofwords PM
She won’t wave a white flag in his face. She won’t surrender to how she should logically feel. She’s in love and always will be in love with him. HGSSRated: Fiction M - English - Angst - Hermione G. & Severus S. - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,422 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 02-17-06 - Published: 02-11-06 - id: 2794961
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Title: White Flag
Chapter Title: Broken
Disclaimer: Everything you recognized belongs to the brilliant J.K. Rowling
Summery: She won't wave a white flag in his face. She won't surrender to how she should logically feel. She's in love and always will be in love with him. HGSS
Rated: M for some choice words and situations
Author's Note: Loosely based upon the words of the song 'White Flag' by Dido. The story was actually started before I heard the song but I must give her the credit her song deserves. This story is not HBP compatible seeing how I have not read it yet. (I drew last place in who gets to read it within my family.) Reviews are appreciated. Enjoy.
"What's going on?" Clothes are scattered about the room and he's bent over the large suitcase on top of the bed. He ignores her and heads to the dresser on the opposite side of the room and pulls out his clothes. He heads back to the bed and tucks them neatly inside the suitcase. "Where are you going?"
"Away." He says coldly and continues to throw everything in.
"Why?" She says frantically. The child within her kicks sharply and she gasps slightly but he doesn't care.
"But why?" He shuts the suitcase with a thump and pulls it off the bed. He makes his to the door and she steps in to block his way.
"Severus, please don't do this." She says desperately.
"Hermione, step aside." She shakes her head no.
"Why are you doing this?"
"Hermione MOVE!" His voice roars and she's taken aback. He hasn't talk to her like that since…she can't even remember but she steps aside and he's slides through the door. His body brushes against her protruding belly and their baby kicks in response. He walks quickly down the hallway towards the stairs and she attempts to go after him but the extra weight causes her to be slower than normal.
"Severus…" She bits her lip and attempts to keep the tears back. "Severus, please." She reaches out and grips his arm but he shrugs her off. She can't keep the tears back any long as he keeps on walking.
She awakes with a gasp and sits upright in bed. Perspiration drips from her forehead and the bedding is in disarray on top of the bed. Sunlight shines through the curtains and she rubs her eyes. The layer of sleep is broken and she stifles a yawn. It was only a nightmare, a nightmare that has been her life for the past two months. There is a small knock at the door and a small head appears once the door is slightly open.
"M..mistress…S..s…snape, breakfast...is...s..s..s..served." The small creature says as she enters the room.
"Thank you Matilda." The house elf bobs and exits the room. She stares around the room and then slides out of the large and extravagant bed. Her red nightgown slides down to its correct length and shows off her eight months pregnant belly. She picks her robe off of the bench at the end of the bed and wraps it loosely around herself. She slowly makes her way out of the room and down the staircase towards the dinning room.
"Good morning Harry. Good morning Ron." She says when she spots her two friends sitting at the long table enjoying the breakfast laid out in front of them.
"Morning Hermione." Harry says before taking another bite of his eggs.
"Morn'ng 'Moine. Hinny fed two fell ou hat se's oming morrow." Ron says with his mouth full of food as she takes her seat at the head of the table.
"Ron…" He swallows and starts all over.
"Ginny said to tell you that she's coming tomorrow." He shoves another biscuit in his mouth.
"We're just about done with the nursery. I figure we'll have it done by ten o'clock today. And then I have to get home." Harry informs her.
"Do you really?" She hates staying in this house all by herself, not that she would ever tell anyone that.
"Yeah, somebody has to watch the kids while Ginny's here." She sighed knowing he was correct and she couldn't help but feel bad for taking Harry away from Isobel and James for the two weeks he's been here. And Ginny will be here until a week after she's given birth.
"I'll need to head out too. Karleigh's getting sick of my mum. Says she needs somebody to defend her and Jenica. Not that a two year old needs defending." Another's child whose father she's been keeping from them.
"Well, thank you so much for doing the nursery." She says whole heartily as she stirs her eggs around her plate.
"Anything for our niece." Harry tells her as he pushes back his chair. "Come on Ron." The two leave the room and she pushes her plate away from her. She's not hungry.
"Thanks Matilda." She tells the elf as she finishes tying her shoe for her. The house elf doesn't say a word as she finishes and before Hermione knows it she's gone. She slides of the bed and both feet hit the ground with a thump. Her new elephant-like qualities were not something she was found of at all. She straightened out her red top that came over her belly and hung outward and checked her straightened hair in the mirror. She wasn't sure who she was looking to impress. Harry and Ron had long gone home and it was just her and the house elves. And that had already become accustomed to her usual black sweat pants and oversized t-shirts. There was just nobody to get dressed up for but today she needed a change.
Today was a day she was not going to cry herself to sleep or pull out their wedding photo, the only picture in which he was smiling a genuine smile. She was not going to crack today. In a months time she would have a baby that had a good change of looking like him so she needed to start practicing. She was not going to cry when she saw her baby because she looked like her father. She couldn't help that.
She sighed and heads out of her room. She strolls down the hallway and lingers at the door of the nursery. She hasn't seen it yet, Ron and Harry made sure of that. She gingerly reaches out and touches the doorknob.
"No, I don't need an appointment. Hermione is expecting me." Ginny.
She forgets about the nursery and walks quickly to the staircase. She spits a red-headed woman arguing with Matilda and Paddy.
"Hermione!" She screams and drops her bags. She bounds up the stairs and wraps her arms around the expecting woman. "Look at you. You look…."
"Pregnant." She says smiling as she gives the younger the correct word to use.
"I was going to say round but that works. It's so good to see you. I missed you so much. What with us living in the Burrow and you living here at the manor, we never got to see you. The kids miss you too. I promised Isobel she could come see her cousin. And James is already to meet his future wife. I can't wait to see this nursery that my husband and brother have been working on." She said as quickly as possible.
"I thought you weren't going till tomorrow."
"I wasn't but I wanted to see you so bad. Now let's go look at that nursery. Harry said they left all the decoration up to us to do. Oh, and I brought all of Isobel's old baby clothes and Karleigh sent some stuff of Jenica's too but since Ron and her are hoping to have more children….Oh listen to me. I'm babbling."
"It's okay Ginny. The nursery is right this way." The two friends made there way to the door that Hermione was once lingering at. Ginny opened the door and Hermione stepped in and started to laugh.
"What's so funny?" Ginny asked her.
"It's violet." The walls were painted a soft violet color and the mural that surrounded the entire room was a garden with plenty of flowers and butterflies.
"And? It's gorgeous! I didn't know Ron and Harry had this talent."
"I know it's gorgeous but I had casually mentioned that I was considering naming her Violet Elisabeth."
"Well I guess that's her name because Ron and Harry put up Violet on the wall."
"What?" She looked over to where her friend was pointing and stifled another laugh. Sure enough Violet had been hung up in big block letters above the crib. "Well, I'm sure your tired Ginny. Why don't I show you to your room?"
"Hermione, I have two kids. I don't get tired. Besides I came to help you, not for some rest and relation from my kids. Oh, I hope you don't mind but my mother wants to come help you out after the baby comes."
"Well, my mother's coming a week before my due date, and Karleigh is coming next week. So the more the merrier. As long as everybody is gone a week after she's born. I want to do this on my own. Come on, I'm hungry." She heads to the door but Ginny stays were she is.
"Hermione, have you heard anything from him?" She closes her eyes and speaks softly.
"Do you know were he is?"
"Then why won't you go see him?"
"Ginny...Let's have some lunch before we start setting up." She exits the rooms and wipes away the tears she thought Ginny hadn't seen.
"Hermione, he still loves you." As soon as those words flew out of Ginny's mouth she knew it was a mistake for something in Hermione snapped.
"How do you know that?" She shrieks, her voice gaining another octave as she speaks. "He made his decision a long time ago! He doesn't want me or Violet and we don't want him! He walked out on us, remember?"
Meekly the red head nods her head and Hermione storms down the hallway. The anger of the situation causes her blood to boil and the fact that Ginny would even suggest that he still loves her makes her body burn with hatred.
Her feet pound into the hard dirt as she hurries across the gardens of the manor. She has no idea where she's going but she knows she needs to get away from that house. There are just too many memories; their wedding portrait that depicts one of the happiest days in her life in full moving color, the hallway of Snape heirs that contains a portrait of a man who's name is no longer allowed to be said by the house elves within her hearing range, her own bedroom where she lost her virginity to him, his potion room where she told him to stop brewing her birth control tonic…the list goes on and on. And there is no way to escape them, for everywhere she turns another memory becomes clearer.
She sighs as she takes a seat on the hard, stone bench. She is supposed to be the brightest witch of her time, so how in the world did she end up here heart broken and pregnant?