HARD TIMES FOR DAFFY

By WileE2005

DISCLAIMER

I do not own the Looney Tunes characters, any Cartoon Network or Hanna-Barbera characters, and I do not own the rights to "Death to Smoochy," where I based some of my story. All of those elements are trademarks and copyrighted by Warner Brothers and the Time Warner Company. This is only for fanfic use.

(NOTE: Daffy's dialogue is "translated" from lisp-language here.)

Chapter One…

Enter the Lab

It all started one day at Daffy Duck's house. He turned on the TV to Boomerang, hoping to see "Looney Tunes." He said cheerfully, "Oh boy, it's almost 1:00! Time for my greatest classics!" And with that, he switched the TV to Boomerang, and its logo came up. However, instead of fading up on the opening logos for "Looney Tunes," the opening titles of "Dexter's Laboratory" began!

"WHAT!" Daffy screamed. He watched with horror as an episode began… "Dee-Dee's Rival." He was shocked! He said, "This… this can't be happening!" And with that, Daffy immediately powered off the TV and rushed over to his computer. He went online to the Boomerang website and searched the schedule for Looney Tunes, but to no avail. "Dexter's Laboratory" had taken all of its timeslots!

The poor duck cried, "NOOOOOOO! What am I gonna do? I am in danger of becoming… NOT LIKED ANYMORE! I must go over to the Cartoon Network building!"

So with that, he rushed over to the Cartoon Network office building. By now thunder was rumbling and rain began to fall. Daffy burst through the doors to the main desk and found a huge, angry-looking businessman at a desk. "Hey, buster! I want my cartoons back on TV! Let me speak to the boss!" Daffy told the man.

He led the duck up an elevator to a big set of double doors, with a sign reading in big gold letters, "BOSS." They went in. However, the boss's face was in the shadows and unseen. In a deep, menacing voice, the boss asked, "What do you want?"

Daffy angrily said, "I demand you to PUT MY CLASSICS, as well as the rest of the Looney Tunes, BACK ON BOOMERANG!"

"Why do you want this?" the boss asked.

"Because I want people to remember me! And I want kids of today's generation to laugh at my cartoons, and none of this new crap… including that 'Dexter's Laboratory!'"

The boss simply said, "Another anti-Cartoon Network hippie trying to get Looney Tunes back on our networks… it is hopeless." He then looked at his watch, for his arms were the only features of the boss that were out of the shadows. "Let's get this over with. I have a dinner engagement in a few hours."

Daffy began to complain, "Oh, I used to have many dinner engagements a month. I was the toast of the town. Everyone wanted my autograph, and when I walk down the street, everyone stares at me in awe. You know why?"

" No… why?"

Daffy then shouted, "BECAUSE I AM DAFFY DUCK! DAFFY THE DARN OLD DUCK! And THIS is how you repay me after all these years? You PULL ME FROM YOUR SCHEDULE! And replace me with a STUPID CARTOON, from the NINETIES, about a BOY AND HIS LABORATORY and his STUPID OLDER SISTER, that is NOT FUNNY AT ALL AND COMPLETELY ABYSMAL!"

The boss seemed to be frustrated at Daffy's anti-Dexter talk. "You know, I wish you'd stop badmouthing 'Dexter's Laboratory.' He was our first biggest star…" he began.

"Wrong! I'M your biggest star!" Daffy interrupted. "I came before the Powerpuff Girls! I came before 'Codename: Kids Next Door!' I came before 'Teen Titans!' I came before 'Juniper Lee,' 'Billy and Mandy,' 'Ed Edd and Eddy,' 'Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends,' 'Wulin Warriors,' 'Zatch Bell,' 'Naruto,' and 'Justice League!' Heck, I even came before Bugs Bunny and Scooby-Doo! SEE HOW IMPORTANT I AM!"

In less than a minute, the boss tossed Daffy duck out the window of the building, and, since he couldn't fly very well, he landed on the wet sidewalk with a SPLAT. "And don't let me catch you around the premises again!" the boss called, before shutting the window.

As thunder crashed loudly, Daffy yelled over the noise, "YOU'LL GET YOURS! AND DEXTER, TOO!" He walked off, muttering, "Even a guy who's important becomes a pariah eventually…"

But back in the office, the boss picked up a phone, saying, "I think I'd better call Dexter. It seems we have trouble…"

Later, inside a bar, Daffy was drinking out of a small glass of alcoholic beverage. He said, sounding a bit drunk, "Now, don't get me wrong, OK? I was once one of the biggest cartoon stars ever. Now I am jobless, and my show has been replaced with this horrible cartoon called 'Dexter's Laboratory,' which is NOTHING like Hanna-Barbera."

The bartender glared at Daffy. "Are you bashing my son's favorite cartoon!" he asked menacingly.

Daffy, sweating a bit, nervously said, "Heh, heh… has he ever watched any of my films before?"

"Yes, he used to, until he discovered a little gender of animation called, 'action-adventure,'" the bartender said. "Now, BEAT IT, you bum!" And with that, he literally booted Daffy out the front door of the tavern.

Meanwhile at the Cartoon Network building, inside the boss's office, he was talking to that little boy genius himself, Dexter!

"Now, Dexter…" the boss began. "You may be wondering why I am calling you here. I want to let you know that we are having a minor problem with your new timeslots on Boomerang…"

"What is it?" Dexter asked. "My parents are waiting in the hallway and they left Dee-Dee in the car!"

The boss continued, "Well… it seems that one of the stars of the Looney Tunes, the cartoon that your show replaced, is really mad at you about this."

"Don't tell me… is it Bugs Bunny?" Dexter guessed.

"No, it is Daffy Duck," the boss said.

"Oh, nonsense! I never cared for Daffy Duck. He looks like bad acting!"

"I agree. So I feel that we should…" the boss began, but was interrupted by the sound of tires screeching, followed by smashing noises and more revving sounds, as Dee-Dee was heard giggling.

"OH NO!" Dexter yelled. "Mom and Dad must have left the keys in there, and Dee-Dee's not old enough to drive! Please excuse me for a moment!" Dexter pushed a button and a jet pack came out of the back of his lab coat. The boss opened the window and Dexter flew outside.