Author: SlaYeRGiRLkaL PM
Angelus has killed her friends and family or so she thinks. He still loves her though but will he discover it too lateRated: Fiction T - English - Angst - Angel & Buffy S. - Words: 802 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 02-14-06 - Status: Complete - id: 2800955
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Okay this story has been modified from it's orginal verson to fit this monitor. LOL This is actually a cut verson of the orginal which I wrote last night. If anybody actually wanted to read the orginal verson which is confusing and only recommended to the advanced reader. There are a lot of parts in the middle that I orginally wrote that were cut like at least a page. If anyone wants to read the orginal I'd be happy to post it just let me know
I'm in the room where everything has started. This same room will be the one in which it ends.
Will anyone care? I know the answer already. No one will care. No one is left to care. My lover is gone and he has taken every other loved one with him. He took my watcher first and made me be witness to his death. He took my best friends next. Willow came first than Xander, but he saved the most meaningful thing for last.
I remember coming home that night and walking in to her bedroom to ask her something and finding her body lying there dead. I still don't know how he managed to get in. Did mom invite him? I doubt it but it is the only way I can see. I've grown used to the dying though, because I've killed them all.
I curse myself time after time for their deaths. I've killed everyone I've ever loved in a single moment of blind passion. I'm a murderer. I've slaughtered them, all of them.
I take notice of the room, as I leave my thoughts temporarily behind. It is the same as it was before. Just as it was when this started the room laid the same, unchanged by time. I've lain myself down upon the bed, the same bed where this all started. I'll let it end here as well because I'm weak.
He'll not care, but I know deep down that if he finds me here he'll see, he'll know, and he'll care again. I grab a bare sheet of paper from his sketchbook. I write my note in silence.
I know what you are Angelus. You're not a thing of evil. You are simply man blinded by the love you don't wish to feel for me. I know that you don't mean what you say. I know you don't hate me, but you love me. You're the man you don't want to be anymore. I've killed you. I've changed who you think you are. I only want to apologize one last time before I go. I'm sorry for killing you and I'm sorry for killing them. No matter what has happened between us I love you in life death and everything in between.
I take the weapon, held in my hand and I slit my wrists. The blood is pouring everywhere. I'm dying and I welcome the feeling of death. I've left the world behind me. I feel my breath slip away and slowly feel my heart stopping. My last thoughts fade without me thinking them.
Hours go by and he comes. He sees my body he reads my note and I watch. It was a lie and I knew it. He really does love me and I still love him. But he realized his feelings too late because I'm gone and I'm never coming back. As I look down upon the seen I think. It was worth it. I'm where I belong, in his arms, in his heart and back in his soul. I'm back to the point where this started. I'm with him again.
It started on a rainy night in January, in this room, in this bed, and with him. It ended on a humid night in June, but in that same room, in that same bed only without him.
Our love was meant to kill and I've made myself the last victim. No one more will die because I watch. I live here to make sure that it doesn't kill. Our love brought nothing good. We've killed ourselves in our blindest moment.
I leave here now, because I'm given peace after these many years. I've been dead so long, but forced to live. Now my curse is broken because I admit to being a murderer. I leave my listener now to ponder my story. Was it true? Was there more? Have I changed my tale? I have changed it, but you decide what was there and what was not, because I am done. Good-Bye.