Author's Notes

You have the new episode, "The Haunted Coffee Table" to thank for the completion of this chapter. For some strange reason, it inspired me, even though there's not a shred of LazloxEdward in that episode (though it did get me thinking about Slinkman). The episode actually surprised me; I didn't have high hopes for it, but I thoroughly enjoyed it. Really funny episode. As for the chapter, there's not much to say, except for those of you familiar with the band, New Found Glory, the chapter title might look a little familiar...a scene in this chapter reminded me of one of their songs. I apologize for the long wait; I'm trying to pick things up a bit with this chapter, so I hope you guys like it!

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Chapter 9

Still Waiting For A Good Day

Edward stormed into the cabin, slamming the door behind him in an angry huff. He threw himself on the bottom bunk, the bed creaking with his raging weight. He would allow his stifled screams to reverberate off his pillow before he would admit that Lazlo’s spiel had gotten to him. Stupid monkey….

“Edward?”

Speak of the devil.

“Edward, where’d you go?” The being that fit the voice finally bounced into the cabin, the open door breathing unnecessary debris into the room.

“I’m right here, you numbskull….”If Edward were any other person, he might’ve thought his words harsh, but the familiar insult slid off his tongue as easily as the camp food.

“Oh, there you are!” Lazlo exclaimed, oblivious to Edward’s ruthless statement. The monkey, still happy despite the night’s events, inched closer to the occupied bunk.

“Leave me alone…” Edward’s muffled voice drug out in slow agony.

“Is something wrong?” Lazlo queried worriedly, hesitant to push much further. Surprisingly, Edward’s face retreated from the squashed pillow, scrunched up in obvious distress, faint as it was.

“Is something wrong?” Edward pointed the question back at the good-natured monkey. “Is something wrong?!” Edward said slightly more aggressively. Lazlo just stared in puzzlement.

“What kind of question is that?!” Edward burst, feet firmly planted on the cabin floor and arms outstretched in wild waving motions.

Lazlo began to open his mouth in reply, but Edward cut him off.

“Never mind; I’m going to bed,” Edward stated grumpily, returning to his mussed up bunk.

Lazlo took the opportunity to shut the cabin door and crawl up into his own bunk, not even bothering to take off his scout uniform.

Even the free-spirited Lazlo would have known better to keep his mouth shut in this situation, but it was actually Edward who spoke.

“Why’d you have to bring all that up?” Edward asked, the vague question hanging loathingly in the still air.

“I didn’t realize it bothered you that much,” Lazlo said truthfully, his usually gleeful voice suddenly small. It literally startled Edward. No blunt quip or blissful naivety or nothing, just…the truth. As if the monkey had never spoken it in all his life.

The silence that followed would unnerve anyone else, but Lazlo saw it as a passage of sorts.

“Edward, why did you even come out here to Camp Kidney?” Lazlo asked, intending to sound more innocent than questioning.

“None of your business!” Edward blurted out before he could catch himself.

“I know,” Lazlo replied, “I was just curious.” And with that, he turned his head up toward the ceiling to envision those stars again before falling asleep.

“I mean…” Edward began; Lazlo’s eyes popped back open at the voice. Edward breathed in deeply before continuing.

“It’s my way of contributing some community service,” Edward stated, his stomach dropping as he spoke.

“Community service?” Lazlo said, his voice tinted with enthusiasm. “That’s not so bad, Edward. I commend you for wanting to lend a hand to your fellow Bean Scouts!” Lazlo snapped his hand to his head in a salute.

“Yeah, something like that…” Edward muttered, eyes drooping downward in guilty melancholy.

For a reason he couldn’t quite figure out, he couldn’t bring himself to burst the monkey’s bubble.

“Hey, Edward…” Lazlo started, glancing momentarily to the bunk below.

“Yeah?” Edward’s tired voice called up to him.

“I’m glad you’re here.”

Edward surprised himself when he inwardly wished for the feelings to be mutual.

---

Edward found his webbed feet taking him down to the pier that morning, plodding along as though their owner hadn’t a care in the world. Little did they know….

Upon reaching the pier, Edward’s feet decided for themselves that they wanted a taste of the ugly, grimy, yet surprisingly refreshing water. So, Edward let them dangle in the cool surface of Leaky Lake, his thoughts free to roam his cluttered mind. He exhaled in a groan, dropping his head to peer into the semi-clear water of the lake, marking the presence of his own reflection with a sigh. No more than a few seconds later, a second reflection appeared next to his, rippling in the early sunlight.

“What are you doing here?” Edward asked moodily, frowning at the jackal boy who so suddenly parked his behind right beside him.

“What are you doing here?” the boy retaliated just as testily, giving the platypus a threatening glare.

“What’s your name, anyway?” Edward bluntly changed the subject, his eyes unwavering.

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” the jackal mocked him; Edward could feel his rage boiling inside his head.

“Actually, I don’t care,” Edward’s voice lilted, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Yes you do,” the boy insisted, “Otherwise you wouldn’t have asked.” What a know-it-all.

“Will you just tell me your stinkin’ name so I know what to call you!” Edward exploded, only stopping a few moments after to take a breath.

“Geez…anger management?” The boy eyed the platypus curiously, but also warily.

“You’re one to talk,” Edward hit back. The jackal sat as still as a stone.

“Name’s Jack.”

Edward parted his bill to reply, but the jackal boy stopped him, aware of the taunting he’d surely receive about his name.

“Don’t – say – a – word,” he said through gritted teeth. Edward simply shrugged the comment off, which wasn’t an easy feat for the platypus.

“Look kid, I know how you feel,” Edward retorted, more angrily than in a reflective tone. The kid just stared at him. “I don’t want to stay in this place any more than you do, so quit pretending you’re so special.”

That glare didn’t leave his features once.

“You can’t possibly know how I feel,” Jack said under his breath, keeping his eyes focused on the platypus beside him.

“Wanna bet?” Edward challenged.

“Okay, if you’re as bad off as you say you are, prove it.” The gears in Edward’s mind spun as he tried to imagine what the boy had in store for him.

“Teach me everything you know.”

“Everything I know?” Edward asked in bewilderment. What was he talking about?

“You, teach me, how to be a bully.”

“What?” Edward said, a bit surprised at the boy’s request.

“Oh, and ditch the monkey; he cramps my style,” Jack said matter-of-factly. Edward slung an arm over the boy’s shoulder, however strange it felt.

“Kid, we are going to get along just fine.”

---

Lazlo woke up, bright and early as usual, to greet the sun. Now, as he mulled around near the pine trees, he recalled the empty bottom bunk that welcomed him that morning. Where had Edward gone? It couldn’t have been a short bathroom trip, as he had already been gone for at least thirty minutes – Lazlo could tell by the gnats collecting on the unmade bed, and he knew from force of habit that Edward would never rise earlier than he…would he?

The monkey was beginning to discover that this summer had proved, so far, to be full of surprises, which was something Lazlo was quite used to, of course, but when it involved Edward, he thought he had become an expert in detecting the norm and the unusual. Guess he still had a lot more to learn in that area than he thought.

He shuffled his feet, gently bunting a little rogue pinecone now and then. It took him a few extra minutes to even notice that something, or someone, was whispering at him. Whipping his head around, he finally settled on the forest to his right as the culprit.

“Hello…?” Lazlo cooed, craning his neck at different angles to see if he could spot someone among the thick tree branches. After a few moments, he stood upright again. Scratching his head in puzzlement, Lazlo stared at the trees, as if they could tell him where the whisperer might be hiding.

“Huh,” Lazlo murmured to himself, “Must be shy,” he concluded. Shrugging his shoulders, he continued on his way, picking up where he left off with the pinecone.

“Laz-loooo…” the voice whispered once more. It sounded strangely feminine. Following the direction of the voice, Lazlo looked upward, his gaze meeting branches belonging to a rather large tree.

“Wow…I’ve never met a talking tree before…” Lazlo whispered to himself, in awe rather than secrecy, continuing to gawk at the wondrous possibility of a talking tree. “…and it knows my name!” he realized. “I’ve gotta go tell Ed-”

“I’m not a talking tree!!” the voice cried angrily, halting Lazlo’s elated gait back to camp.

“But…” Lazlo started, but was cut off once more.

“I’m in the tree, Lazlo…” the voice sighed exasperatedly. Lazlo eyed the branches a little more closely. What he found lounging among them caused his eyes to bug out in surprise.

“Patsy?!”

“Don’t say you’re not happy to see me, Lazlo…” she said in a seductive tone, twirling a furry finger in her carnation pink locks.

“No, it’s not that, it’s just…why are you here, anyway?” he asked, genuinely confused about her sudden appearance.

“Same reason you are, silly,” she said coyly as she swung down gracefully from her perch, feet landing firmly on the ground. It took a minute for Lazlo to process the information, but his eyes quickly lit up in understanding.

“You’re a camp counselor too?”

Patsy nodded her affirmation. “Yep, over at Acorn Flats,” she said confidently, pointing a finger behind her in the direction of the girls’ camp.

A pause ensued.

“Lazlo, why don’t you walk with me?” Patsy requested, motioning a hand to the side in invitation. Looking toward Camp Kidney, Lazlo knew the campers wouldn’t be up and about for another thirty minutes or so. He supposed he could use a nice walk through nature with someone to keep him company.

“Sure, why not?” Lazlo answered, a smile spreading across his banana-shaped mouth. Delighted, Patsy snatched his hand and dashed through the forest, eventually coming to a path in a clearing. They slowed their rapid jog to a calming walk as they followed the path. A few birds whistled their morning songs among the foliage, sun filtering down through the leaves and needles.

“So, Lazlo, how has your summer been?” Patsy made conversation. Unbeknownst to Lazlo, she flitted her eyelashes coquettishly as she asked the meaningless question.

“Great! Camp Kidney’s the only place I want to be in the summer.” Lazlo looked about the clearing, scanning the trees with a serene expression. This was the part of him she deemed absolutely perfect.

“Yucca!” he cried out, swiftly bending down to the ground. Misreading his exclamation, Patsy covered her mouth in worry.

“What? What’s wrong?” she asked urgently, rushing to his side in slight panic.

“I found a cicada shell!” Lazlo exclaimed, popping up from the ground in a flash with the discarded molt.

“Wow…I haven’t seen one of these in years! Cicadas are so amazing! Did you know…”

And then, there was the part of him she just – couldn’t – stand.

“…and they make such wonderful music! Do you hear that-”

“LAZLO!”

A few birds flew from their homely tree branches, squawking in slight distress in sync with their flapping wings. Lazlo stood, stunned. He looked blankly at the female mongoose.

“Patsy, are you feeling okay?” Lazlo asked, concern evident in his voice. Her features softened, taken aback.

“Yep! I’m fine, never better!” she assured confidently, folding her arms in delicate indignance.

“That’s good,” Lazlo said, his demeanor visibly relaxing as he smiled at her.

“Why don’t we…continue our walk?” Patsy requested, attempting to shift the subject to more pleasant matters. Lazlo followed her obediently. Something sure seemed weird about her…but that was probably just because he hadn’t seen her in so many years. A ten-year-old girl was bound to change during the time she grew into a teenager, and his grandmother had always told him that ninety percent of that change was inside rather than outside of the girl. He thanked her for that childhood lesson because if not for that in the back of his mind, he might truly be afraid at the moment…even if that childhood lesson had been taught in fun.

Remembering something Edward had said, Lazlo thought it couldn’t hurt to ask. “Hey, Patsy…” he began tentatively.

“Yes, Lazlo?” she asked sweetly. Boy, she was more confusing than he thought.

“Um, well, what’s with this new camp counselor thing? Camp Kidney’s never needed them before,” he stated his question.

“Neither has Acorn Flats,” she concurred.

“Why start it now, then?”

“Oh, Lazlo…” she sighed, “Lazlo, Lazlo, Lazlo.”

“Yeah?” Lazlo said, puzzled.

“That doesn’t matter. The important thing is that you’re here, right?” She winked at him cutely, eyelashes flitting up and down.

“Is there something in your eye, Patsy?” Patsy mumbled a strange growling sound, a throaty noise he couldn’t quite distinguish.

“You know, I think I’m going to head back to camp…I’m teaching this one camper how to swim, and I should probably see if I can find Edward, so…” Lazlo spewed his words out fast, trailing off at the end.

“I guess I’ll see you!” He darted through the trees, a few pine boughs rustling at his departure.

“Edward?” Patsy murmured to herself. “The platypus?”

What was he doing here…?

---

Lazlo kept glancing behind his shoulder every now and then during his slow jog to check for Patsy – he couldn’t help it! She sure had turned out strange. His main goal now was to get back to the campsite; he had lost track of time while out with Patsy, so he was almost positive it was near time for the day to start. Even as he tried to concentrate with these thoughts zooming through his mind, he collided forcefully with another body.

“Why don’t you watch where you’re going!” Lazlo heard Edward’s voice shout agitatedly at him.

“Sorry, Edward!” Lazlo cried, sounding truthfully apologetic. “I was just -”

“Just nothing! I’ve been looking all over for you! You’re fudging your duties, and I’m taking all the blame!” Edward ranted.

Just then, a rumbling resounded in both their ears. Lazlo gazed upward to meet a sudden hazy sky filled with gray-black clouds. Two seconds ago, he could’ve sworn the sky was a pure blue. It wouldn’t be long until...

Two innocent drops of rain pelted his face. He blinked in disbelief. Monsoons were normally scarce at this time of summer; it wasn’t until the later months that they tended to appear in unwelcome storms.

“Rain?” Edward asked, seeming for once, genuinely puzzled.

As if the weather could hear his words, sheets of even more water exploded from the clouds above in a roll of thunder.

On impulse, Lazlo grabbed Edward’s hand (much to the platypus’ discomfort) and started running toward camp. Luckily, it wasn’t very far at all from where they stood. Within moments they had reached the grounds, gathered any stray campers who happened to be outside at the time and returned them to their cabins, spoke quickly with Slinkman concerning the campers and established the rainy day was to be spent inside their cabins, and eventually stood in their own cabin, sopping wet.

“I hope you’re happy,” Edward said sourly, wringing out his Bean Scout shirt over the already soaked floorboards.

“Me?” Lazlo said innocently, but then quickly turned defensive. “How is this my fault!?”

“It’s not,” Edward said simply, “but you obviously get some sort of kick out of being in my company, so this is like a picnic for you!” Edward’s logic was lost on Lazlo.

“Oh, so it’s my problem you hate my guts,” Lazlo stated sardonically.

“All I know is,” Edward began as he slowly backed Lazlo up against a wall, “is that I’m so sick of you driving me crazy!”

Lazlo felt pearls of sweat building on the back of his neck as anxiety overtook his entire body. He’d never seen Edward quite like this…. The moment seemed to hang forever in the awkward air, as he stared blankly, not without a hint of fear, into Edward’s enraged features. It was so quiet, he could hear the eerie noise of both their labored breathing panting in sync to each other.

Then his bill-like lips made contact with his perspiring banana-shaped mouth, and Lazlo felt his friend’s frenzy swallow him whole.